Hidden Sun: a Hikaru/Nova songfic

"Honoo no Ya!!!" I screamed, hoping to slow my protagonist. But it didn't work; She just deflected my attack with Her bare hand. She begins to walk towards me, the One Whom I Love Most, and I tremble in fear. She looks angry, angry at me, and yet I can feel that She is sad. That's what happens around the One Whom You Love Most, you start to know what they are feeling, and even feel it too. Kind of like empathy, but it runs much deeper than that. It's because your Souls share a bond that nothing in the world can break, and you know you are a part of that person even though She won't let you become part of Her, nor will She ever become a part of you. At least, not in the way you want and most desparately need to. Not in the way you know your souls as well as your bodies were eternally meant to. That's how I feel about the One Whom I Love Most, usually. But sometimes, like right now, I don't understand exactly why but She scares me. She scares me because She makes me think I shouldn't feel this way. Is it really wrong to love Her the way I do? Is it ever really wrong to love? As I hopelessly back away from Her advance, in my confusion my ankle twists and I fall, trembling, to the ground, unable to get back up.

Suddenly things become unsound/ Stumbling on the shaky ground/ Given arrows to shoot tornadoes down/ Shoot them down to the ground

Why is it that I'm the one who's always falling? I know that sometimes She's hurting, but it's never about me. If I know all this, why can't She see that I'm always hurting over Her? It's not Her fault, but I just wish She would care, or show me if She does. Doesn't She know how painful it is? Doesn't She understand how I feel? Doesn't She... ? Oh no. Here She comes. She's reaching out Her hand; the One Whom I Love Most is going to hit me! Her hand finally makes contact. I cringe, wanting to cry not because Her strike hurt me, but because it is She who is striking me. I cannot bear that, I'm about to break down... But wait. She isn't hitting me. She's cradling me in Her arms and softly stroking me. Her eyes are looking down at me as She gently smiles.

Saw a falling leaf of good luck fall to the grass/ Much to our surprise, a butterfly/ Then it sunk in, this induration*/ Induration in our lives
(*induration: lack of emotion, hardheartedness, stoicism)

Inside ourselves, a hidden sun that burns and burns/ But never does any harm to anyone

I'm still shuddering, shivering, shaking harder than I have ever done in my life. But She's holding me. I finally have what I've always longed for, and yet Her kindness frightens me so much more that Mother Debonair's anger and wrath. Probably because I don't understand why. When Mother was angry with me, it was because I'd done something wrong, and I knew what it was. But when the One Whom I Love Most holds me tenderly and pets me, I don't know what to do. I have no defenses, and I know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve this; I don't deserve Her. And yet, here She is, giving Herself to me. It's impossible, I must be dreaming, and yet... and yet, it feels so *right*.

Shivering madly the dark/ Like an animal abandoned in the car park/ Then she held me, and then she showed me the/ Beauty of the human heart

She looks down at me and apologizes, saying She knows how lonley I must have been. Yes, I tell Her, I was lonley and I'd searched everywhere for Her, but I couldn't find Her, and Mother Debonair found me and promised me I'd never be alone again, and, and, and...I start to cry again. She hushes me, hugs me, and pets me some more, assuring me it's okay. Then the One Whom I Love Most tells me Her story, about how She wants to truly love Herself so that She can better take care of Herself for the sake of all the people who love Her. She also wants to love back all of those people who care about Her so much. I smile. "Then does that mean you want to love me, too?" She nods. "Come on." She spreads Her arms wide and leans towards me. I leap into Her, leaning forward to brush against Her lips. I feel consummated, made perfect, like my whole life was leading up to now and I'd finally accomplished my goal. Her arms collapse around me, as we truly become one. Just before I go, I hear Her whisper my name into the silence. "Nova."

Inside ourselves, a hidden sun that burns and burns/ But never does any harm to anyone/ A hidden sun that burns and burns/ But never does any harm to anyone/ Anyone, oooh Anyone/ A hidden sun, hidden sun, oooh

A/N: Well, did you like it? I always wanted to write a Nova fic, 'cause she and Hikaru are my favorite characters, then I heard this song and it just sounded *perfect*. It's not really supposed to be yuri or shoujo-ai, just the scene at the end of the anime from Nova's point of view. But you can think of it as yuri if you want, I've nothing against that ^_^. I feel I did Nova well, from my own expriences. This is probably the first fic I feel really confident about. But I absolutely want to know what you think, too, so please review. Every opinion counts. Love ya!!! ~Rachael~