Warning: This fic will deal with intense themes; can be considered slightly graphic and situations may seem down right hopeless at times. In other words this story is not for the faint of heart.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu gi oh and I don't own Hamlet or Sonnet 29 they are both the property of William Shakespeare.
Please note that this is a no flaming zone. Feel free to criticize and critique to your heart's content, but do use tact please and thank you.
Narration ( )
The Quiet One: Yugi's Soliloquy
(The room is dark no lights on, stifling the once cheery colour of the walls and bright objects of the occupant. The lights on the street give an eerie glow to the gloom illuminating a young boy sitting stiffly on a bed, draped in the inky clothes of mourning.)
"To be or not to be that is the question, weather tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them?-To die-to sleep. "
To live or not to live and what is living anyway? Is it just eating, sleeping and breathing? Or is it something more? And if it is, is my life worth living? It is a question I have pondered for ages, one of life's big mysteries.
"Is my life meaningful to anyone? Or I am just like so many categorize me?"
The words of my past echoed in my head all those people who ether intentionally or unintentionally raked me over the coals, the slings and arrows that eroded my self-esteem and drilled it into my mind that their word was law.
"You're nothing but a vessel for the Pharaoh's spirit."
"Sorry twerp." "He is too weak and inexperienced." "Who's going to stop me a little shrimp like you?" "Move it runt!" "There's two Yugis, the cool one up there and the puny one down here."
"He is too weak and inexperienced."
"Who's going to stop me a little shrimp like you?"
"Move it runt!"
"There's two Yugis, the cool one up there and the puny one down here."
Drops of salty liquid made their way down my face. I made no move to wipe them away. Why bother? I have no one to hide them from, it's not like anyone is concerned with me, heck I don't think they would care if I drop dead, they have him, gorgeous, talented, wonderful, perfect Yami. I sighed.
"And look upon myself, and curse my fate, wishing me like to one more rich in hope, featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd, desiring this man's art, and that man's scope." I quoted.
"I don't blame them for liking him more I really don't, he is after all confident, competitive, fashionable and intelligent everything a teenager should be. They can relate to him better then they can to me, I'm just a boy in teenager's clothes. I still enjoy board games, stuffed animals and music where every second word isn't a swear. And I can't blame Yami for breaking away from me either; I can see the joy in his eyes now that he has his own body. He has a chance to live his life again. To go and do what he wants to do, wear what he wants to wear and be with whoever he wants to be with. He doesn't need me holding him back. Always running to defend me from bullies or resting in the shadows of my mind giving me advice when he could just as easily do it himself."
The skull of Yorick lay delicately in my right hand. The cool metal chilled my skin where I touched it, the smooth object never warming to my touch blatantly telling me what I'd been witnessing over the past weeks, our dead link. What was once as strong as iron had rusted over and crumbled to dust. Once upon a time we could talk about anything and everything then slowly something came between us, I honestly don't know what it was but come it did. Soon he could no longer hear my thoughts or feel my emotions, and then I could no longer hear or feel him. He went to the beautiful castle and happy ever after and I was left lost in the woods. I see now how foolish I was to think that he cared about me, to think that he liked me or that I was important to him.
"I was just his responsibility not his friend or his companion or his partner as I was stupid enough to assume. I was only his job nothing more." And that slap on the face from reality stung and left its mark. It shattered my heart into a thousand pieces and trampled my soul like so many dead roses. "Yet I still thought he was sincere." I snorted "Yeah right get a grip, Yugi, you are a stupid, weak, midget and runt just like they say."
I coughed, startled out of my musing I suddenly noticed how stiff my body was, pins and needles drove in everywhere as I moved for the first time in who knew how long. I bet Yami never gets like this and even if he does I bet people fall over themselves to massage him.
"He has a life now; he has friends who will stick by him no matter what." They always said that to him never to me. "I should be happy for him, but I'm not! I'm so riddled with jealousy that I almost hate him! I know I sound so selfish but I want to be the one he feels that way for! I want to be the one who makes his eyes light up when I enter the room! And I want to make him smile that smile he once reserved only for me!" I tossed the puzzle to the floor totally content to watch it smash on the hardwood and fall apart like my world, but before it was even half-way there I snatched it up by the chain and pulled it into my lap.
"I can't do it, even after all he has put me through I have no right to take away his life. So what right does that give me to take my own? Why do I want to do it? Is it just for the sick satisfaction of looking down or up as the case may be in the afterlife and feel better because they are in pain, to see them in tears and feel smug that I've given them what they have given me? An eye for an eye a tooth for tooth as they say. I think that is why I want to do it for revenge, and if that be so then I won't do it. I remember when I told Duke that revenge wasn't good because it only left you with more bad feelings and I intend to stick by that. Why should I toss my life away just because they tossed me aside and into a dark corner like yesterday's homework? After all I've lived for fourteen years without friends I can do it again, I know I can."
I wrapped my arms around the puzzle holding it close to my chest as I would a newborn baby.
"And I will still protect the puzzle; keep it safe from those who would seek your power Yami. I will hold up my end of the bargain." I brought my hand up to my face and touched the black ring forming around my left eye. "Even if you no longer hold up yours."
I got up from my bed and padded silently to my desk. Opening the bottom most draw, I carefully placed the puzzle inside; I admired it for a moment, the lamplight glittered upon it revealing the lines of each individual piece that made it up. I remembered all the nights under the covers working by flashlight to finish it. The frustration when a piece wouldn't fit and the joy when it finally clicked into place. I'd spent years on the object, and all for nothing I thought bitterly. I slammed the drawer closed and locked it, then placed the key around my neck. It was so much lighter than that golden burden.
I looked out the window as a thin band of red appeared on the horizon.
I went over to the window and watched the arrival of the new day.
"I will face this day and the many days that follow it for I have my answer..."
I wrote it on the window where my breath had condensed on the glass.
(End chapter 1)
Note: So? Love it? Hate it? Drop a review and let me know. As the 'end chapter one' suggests this is not a one-shot I have not yet begun to make Yugi miserable.