Disclaimer: Inuyasha nor their seiyuu belong to me. End of story, unfortunately.
Hey and welcome. This is just something that was nudging vaguely in the back of my mind, decided to write it! It's written in dialogue, so it's not exactly a *story*. Dunno, it's supposed to be humorous (HINT: OOCness involved), but um... it might not be. Anyway, I may be doing other versions of the same thing...
This first conversation is based on Sesshoumaru and his seiyuu (voice actor), Narita Ken.
This was in part inspired by the Anime Scramble interview released a bit ago. Only some, since I'm not exactly fluent in Japanese. ^_^
[Scene: Conference Table. Just thought you'd like to know? – Presences include: Sesshoumaru, Jaken, Narita Ken, Inuyasha, and Kagome]
Narita: ...are you trying to get me killed, Jaken? I never said such a thing!
Jaken: It's true, Sesshoumaru-sama! He did state that you were nothing without his voice. Do you wish his death?
Narita: You idiot! Without me, he can't say anything in the anime! Do you really want him to be mute for the rest of his anime career?
Jaken: This is foolishness. Sesshoumaru-sama does not need a puny human to be his voice on anime. He has always said his own lines!
Kagome: [whispers to Inuyasha] If Sesshoumaru can't talk without this Narita-san, does that mean...?
Inuyasha: [says loudly] KEH! Figures that my pathetic older brother can't even talk on his own!
Kagome: [whispers to Inuyasha] Don't make me say 'the' word, Inuyasha! Don't provoke him!
Sesshoumaru: [to Narita] This Sesshoumaru speaks for himself. You are an annoyance. Do you truly wish to die?
Narita: [deepens his voice to sound identical to Sesshoumaru] This Sesshoumaru finds you in denial.
Inuyasha: Hey... that's pretty neat. Try saying "Inuyasha is the best"!
Sesshoumaru: Shut up, half-breed.
Narita: Such a thing must not be said from me!
Inuyasha: Awww, come on. Say it! Or do you want me to bring out Tessaiga...?
Narita: Hmph. If I say it, Sesshoumaru will use Toukijin; if I don't, you will use Tessaiga. However, since Kagome-sama would never allow you to kill me, I believe I won't say it after all.
Kagome: Hey... why is Jaken so quiet?
Jaken: Shut up, human wench. This Jaken needs not answer to you!
Jaken: Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama... AIIIEEE, do not do that you pathetic human! [brandishes the Staff of Heads menacingly]
Kagome & Inuyasha: [laughter]
Jaken: I'm not falling for that, you disgusting filth! Take thi—
Jaken: [face against the table] Forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama...
Narita: Remind me why my character had to be stuck with such an idiotic retainer.
Sesshoumaru: This Sesshoumaru is not a 'character'.
Narita: Well, according to this script you are—see?
Kagome: Script?! Wait a second—what is that doing here? HEY! It's to the third movie! [she grabs the wad of paper] Let's see... oh, I like this line. Hey, Inuyasha, it's where I tell you sit—
Kagome: Oops! Sorry, I didn't mean it!
Inuyasha: [gets up from the ground] Y-you bii~iiiiiiitch...!
Sesshoumaru: Pathetic, to be so anxious over a movie.
Kagome: But, Sesshoumaru, it looks like you have a very big role in it!
Jaken: Of course he does! Sesshoumaru-sama is far more important than—
Jaken: Hai, Sesshou—WHY YOU...!
Jaken: STOP DOING THAT—eh? Your lips didn't move...
Jaken: [face against the table] Forgive this poor Jaken, Sesshoumaru-sama...
Narita: As you can see, I have many lines to speak in the movie. It would be in your best interests to forget these violent tendencies you harbor toward my person.
Jaken: [angrily] Sesshoumaru-sama does not need you to...
Jaken: [against table] He hits just like Sesshoumaru-sama...
Kagome: So, Narita-san, are you saying that in the movie and anime, we need to have other people talking for us?
[Sesshoumaru unsheathes Toukijin and rests the tip against Narita's throat.]
Sesshoumaru: I have noticed that my voice is not as perfect as it should be. You will work on it.
Sesshoumaru: It must be deeper, and far more confident. Your training begins now!
Narita: Now hold on just a min— Ow. Okay, I get the point. [voice deepens] Like this?
Sesshoumaru: This Sesshoumaru does not question. You must be rid of such a lowly habit.
Narita: I am no longer Narita Ken. I am... Sesshoumaru.
[Kagome is whispering frantically in Inuyasha's ear. Inuyasha looks faintly annoyed, but his expression fades to agreement—chances are she just threatened with the 's' word again, folks.]
Inuyasha: [childish voice] Sesshou-nii-chan!*
Narita: Ah, my beloved little brother, what is it?
Sesshoumaru: This Sesshoumaru will not allow such a disgusting farce! Inuyasha, your blood will be rust on my Toukijin!
Kagome: Ne, Narita-san, is there any way to convince someone to put prayer beads on Sesshoumaru...? Inuyasha, SIT!
* — Translation: big brother Sesshou[maru] — Taken from Anime Scramble Part II. Yes, Inuyasha actually DOES say "Sesshou-nii-chan" in a little kid voice in the interview. (And Sesshoumaru responds with "my dear brother" or something of the sort. It's funny, 'cause he makes this weird groan after Inu's seiyuu says that, before finally responding. I guess it was a traumatizing event.)
CJ's Blurb: Anyway, yeah. I know it's not as funny as I thought it was going to be, but it might be just humorous enough to make you smile. I hope. ^_^ I might do one with Inuyasha and his seiyuu, and possibly others... but I dunno. We'll see.
Happy holidays, everyone! I hope your wishes come true for the New Year. And all that nice stuff.