I Saw 'Gome Kissing Santa Claws
by: I. C. All

A/N: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, minna-san, and welcome to IC's Christmas Special! *hands everyone some eggnog as the background changes to a cozy fireplace scene, with snow blowing fiercely outside the window* Wow, it's finally Christmas, one of the most anticipated events in everyone's year!
Naturally, in the spirit of Christmas, I have decided to write a pretty little songficlet about our favorite Inuyasha couple, Inu-kun and Kag-chan! You can just feel that it's going to be a wonderful - *bursts through the door, looking like a very angry human popsicle*
I can't believe you, IC! How in the world could you leave me in the middle of nowhere! And on Christmas Eve, too! With Jaken, of all people! *pulls out a frozen Jaken, who is occasionally murmuring nonsense phrases, such as 'Sesshoumaru-sama, which would you prefer? Red, green or gold tinsel for your tail?'* Well?!
*chuckles nervously* Erm ... well, that'll be all for now, faithful readers! Remember to review and have a merry little Christmas! KYAAAAAAA!!!!!!! *runs off screaming as KC chases her offstage, while Jaken is left on the floor*

~ I. C. All, Keeper of the Crystal and an unconscious Jaken

Disclaimer: Nope, Inuyasha doesn't belong to me. I am, however, hoping that Rumiko Takahashi will give him to me for Christmas. And maybe Kagome, too, to keep him sane and happy. ^_^ I do, however, own my parody of the popular Christmas carol, 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus', so there! ^_~

Dedicated to: Clare, who caught chickenpox and missed five days of school. The lucky girl ... Erm, I mean, poor Clare ... *attempts to look sympathetic but fails miserably*

Special Thanks to: DestroyerDRT - Wai! Many thanks to you, my ever alert reviewer! And as for the happy ending ... We'll just have to wait and see, ne? ^_~
StarChild1 - Nope! It isn't the end - just one more chapter to go. Actually, I just found that song while I was channel-surfing one day. It sparked my interest and imaginations, so I decided to use it. It was one of my better ideas, don't you think? ^.^
M.P. - Well, I'm glad you liked it. As for the stories ... Well, I lead a very busy life. I'm in the school commitee, a class officer, and assistant treasurer in my club, as well as numerous other stuff. But I will type and update faster - we're on Christmas break right now. ^_^ And I will take your suggestion to heart. Arigato! ^.^
Puppkid - Sure! ^_^ Arigato!
SeungLee - Hm ... I don't know. I could discontinue the fic, if I really wanted to ... Just kidding! Of course, I'll continue! ^_~
Rivenstarr - Thanks! I spend a lot of time pondering the scenes and lyrics, so I'm glad people are appreciating my efforts. Same with the translations. I'll try and update ASAP, okay? ^_^
Sunnygurl1357 - Dear Reviewer,
Thanks for the review. I have a few words of my own - Thank you and I'll update as soon as I can. ^_~ Ja ne!
~ I. C. All
Kitty132 - Really? Aw, shucks ... My writing can't be that good, can it? My dream is to be a famous authoress on ff.net someday, and maybe even go public one day! ^_~ But I still have a long way to go, ne? Thanks for reviewing!
Angelic Tears - Thanks again! Nah, I plan to give the characters a healthy dosage of angst before they get their happy endings! ^_^ Okay, I'd better shut up before Inuyasha hacks me up into tiny little pieces. Don't worry - Kag-chan'll have some explaining of her own, too. ^_^ TY!
Oneesan no Miroku Houshi - Arigato for your review! Sure, I'll read your stories! I also hope some of you will suggest fanfics ... It's hard scanning through the whole bunch randomly. I hope that you'll all suggest some nice lil' fanfics to read. ^.^ BTW, cute alias! ^____^

Japanese Translations:
Neko - cat
Urasai! - Shut up!



'Co-ris-masu' presents all over the place
Little Shippou wears a toothy smile on his face

It was past midnight in the tiny village of Edo. Snow covered the huts and fields like a blanket of pure white. The moon shone on the snow, causing it to seemingly twinkle in the peaceful night. All was still and quiet except for one small figure, dashing through the snowfield and leaving tiny animal-like tracks behind it.

This small figure was none other than the kitsune cub, Shippou, the orphan youkai child that Kagome had 'adopted' and traveled with, along with the rest of the Shikon shard hunters. The baby kitsune quietly slipped into the village miko, Kaede's hut, and scampered through the present and spare wrapping-littered room to slip into the empty sleeping bag that belonged to the child's surrogate mother.

Only one other being noticed the arrival of the infant youkai. Kirara, the two-tailed neko youkai belonging to Sango, a taijiya that also traveled with the Shikon shard hunters, peeked out from behind her two tails. Yawning, the neko youkai stretched out and trotted over to the kitsune cub, who was grinning as if 'Co-ris-masu' had come early.

For Shippou has a secret
And this secret he must share-a*
He wants to tell somebody
So, he tells his friend Kirara

"Ne, Kirara, guess what I saw! Go on, guess!" the hyperactive Shippou squealed excitedly, bouncing up and down beneath the covers of the sleeping bag. Kirara merely looked at the kitsune youkai with a tired look that said, 'It's not morning yet. You just woke me up from a great dream, so you'd better tell me what's going on or I'll set your tail on fire.'

Shippou ignored this and scooted closer to the edge of the sleeping bag. "It's a secret, so you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?" he told Kirara in a hushed, yet excited tone. The neko youkai yawned lazily once more and nodded wearily. Unbeknownst to the two, three other figures in the room stirred slightly, almost as if they wanted to listen as well.

"Okay! I'll tell you what happened ..."

~ Flashback to roughly half an hour ago ~

I saw 'Gome kissing Santa Claws
Underneath the Goshinboku tree

Shippou rolled over in the sleeping bag, searching for the familiar warmth of Kagome. The kitsune youkai woke up and looked around sleepily, realizing that the familiar warmth was missing. Troubled and unable to get back to sleep, he crawled out of bed, sleepily sniffing around to try to identify where the schoolgirl had gone. In his half-asleep state, he did not notice the way that Inuyasha's scent followed Kagome's.

The kitsune cub continued to follow the scent trail that Kagome had left. To his surprise, his search eventually led him to the Goshinboku tree. Shippou prepared to spring out at her when he noticed another figure. The youkai child warily shuffled closer to try to identify who it was, and why it was so close to Kagome.

Let's analyze the situation, shall we? The first figure was undoubtedly Kagome (who else wore tiny little skirts in the Sengoku Jidai?), but who was the other guy? Hm ... Long white hair, puffy red clothes, out at night ...

Of course! Who else could it be but Santa Claws! Shippou puffed his chest out proudly at having solved who the mystery man was. All signs pointed to the jolly old man - long, white hair, red clothes that made him seem a bit fat, out at night (probably to give him presents!) ... It had to be him!

But if it was Santa Claws ... Why was he kissing Kagome?

She didn't see me creep
Out of the hut to have a peep
She thought that I was tucked up
In her sleeping bag, fast asleep

Shippou made a face and turned away, rubbing his eyes furiously as if to erase the image.

From Kagome's stories, Santa Claws was a happy, fat, old man who gave presents to good little children and lumps of coal to bad ones. He lived in some cold place called the North Pole and had little elf helpers to help him in making the presents. He also rode around in a carriage pulled by some type of youkai (how else could they fly?) late at night, so that no one would see him.

None of her stories explained, however, why the old man liked making out with pretty young girls. Unless he was a 'peed-o-fly' or whatever Kagome said liked going out with children. Shippou's skin crawled at the mental image of being dragged off by one of these 'peed-o-flies' ...

He had to save Kagome from the 'peed-o-fly'! But how? He could go back to the hut to get Inuyasha, but the hanyou would probably shrug him off ... And give him a beating while he's at it. Shippou gulped and hid himself deeper in the bushes. The poor kitsune couldn't decide which was worse - a Santa 'peed-o-fly' or an irate hanyou!

The kitsune cub moaned and wiggled around a bit, trying to alert Kagome (discreetly) of his position.

Then, I saw 'Gome tickle Santa Claws
Up, atop his long, long hair so white

The young youkai child was so wrapped up in trying to get Kagome's attention, he didn't notice his surrogate mother's hand travel up the red garbs of the so-called 'Santa'.

That is, until 'Santa' let out a loud groan.

Shippou gave such a sudden start, he almost fell out of his hiding place. Daring to take a peek at what the two were doing now, his eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets, and he quickly spun around to rub his eyes furiously in a vain attempt to erase the image from his mind.

Kagome was now rubbing Santa's head, while continuing to make out with him.

Ew!

And to make matters worse, Santa seemed to be enjoying it immensely.

EW!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, what a mess it would have been
If Inuyasha had only seen
'Gome kissing Santa Claws last night ...

Shippou shuddered violently and turned away from the freaky sight. Oh, man ... If only Inuyasha could only see this ...

The kitsune perked up and a devious little smile grew on his face. You could even almost make out a pair of devil's horns sprout from his head. Inuyasha would go ballistic! Probably ballistic enough to want to beat up Santa instead of him ...

Oh, the possibilities.

Shippou turned and gave Kagome one last glance, wincing at the sight. 'Gomen ne, Kagome ... But this opportunity is too good to pass up!' the kitsune thought, and scampered off back to the hut, leaving the happy couple behind.

~ Present time in Sengoku Jidai ~

Shippou and Kirara both made one last face. Behind them, the three other occupants of the hut glanced at the empty sleeping bag, the vacant corner of the room and at each other discreetly.

"So, that's all that I saw. Now, where's Inuyasha?" the kitsune cub whispered, both youkai searching for the inu hanyou. Their older companions quickly feigned sleep, trying not to be found out while still listening intently. A wide grin was perceived on the sitting figure's face, before one of the laying figures gave it a swift punch, causing the first figure to muffle a yelp and resume faking sleep.

Shippou groaned in disappointment. "Aw, well ... We'll just have to tell him tomorrow, ne, Kirara?" he said, turning to his neko companion. Kirara mewed disapprovingly. "What?! It's a good idea!" the kitsune protested. The neko youkai just shook her head and trotted off to lie on Sango's lap once again.

"Oyasumi ..." Shippou called, before snuggling back into Kagome's sleeping bag, trying vainly to stay awake, but succumbing to blissful unconsciousness.

~ Next morning ... ~

Shippou squealed excitedly, tearing off the wrapping eagerly and pulling out his present. "Wow! Thanks, Kagome!" he gushed, waving around his Zoids figurine eagerly. Kagome grinned at the kitsune cub, giving him a tender hug before instructing Sango on how to use the music box.

In one corner of the hut, Miroku and Inuyasha were arguing over the large pack of chocolates Kagome had given ("Oi, bouzu! Aren't monks supposed to be giving and all that crud?" "But you are part inu, right? You'll probably get sick, anyway!" "Keh! I'm too tough to get sick!") while Kirara looked on impatiently as Kaede tied a festive red and green ribbon around her neck.

Suddenly, Shippou bounded over to the arguing males, snatching one of the chocolates and breaking off their argument. "Oh, Inuyasha! I almost forgot ... Did you know Kagome was out with Santa Claws last night?" he asked cheerily, half of the bar shoved in his mouth.

"Kagome ... Santa ... what?!" Inuyasha sputtered, his bewildered gaze alternating from the happy kitsune and a tomato red Kagome. By now, the hut had grown very quiet, all occupants eager to listen. Even Kirara had stopped struggling to watch the hanyou's reaction.

"Uh huh! He had white hair, and he wore red clothes, and he was out at night, like 'Gome said!" Shippou nodded happily, oblivious to the reddening of the hanyou's and Kagome's faces. The kitsune leaned in closer. "And you know what else?" he whispered conspiratorially, causing everyone to lean in too.

"He was kissing her!"

"Nani?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

The reactions of the occupants of the hut were quite ... interesting.

Kagome stood up quickly, her face flaming red as she grabbed Shippou by the hand and ran out the door, chattering on about taking a bath at the hot springs nearby. Sango ran after her, clutching the bath supplies and yelling for them to wait up. Kaede coughed loudly and exited the hut, muttering something about collecting more herbs. Kirara followed after her, not wanting to be left behind with a perverted houshi and a furious hanyou.

Miroku sat calmly, turning to grin at Inuyasha. The still blushing hanyou recognized the smile - it was the same one he used whenever he was trying to convince a girl to bear his child. "So ..." Miroku started off innocently. Inuyasha glared at him warily.

"I heard Santa was quite busy last night."

*THUD*

*BANG*

*CRASH*

"ITAI!!!!!"

"URASAI, HENTAI NO BOUZU!!!!!"



A/N: ^______________^' ... Well, that was quite interesting, wasn't it?
Just a little Christmas humor for everyone. I hope you got the ones about Santa Claus there. BTW, Claus is deliberately misspelled, so please don't beat me over the head with dictionaries. And 'peed-o-fly' is actually pedophile, for those of you who didn't get it. If you don't know what that means, well, I suggest you check your dictionaries. ^_~
And I hope you recognized who 'Santa Claws' actually was. Because if you didn't ... Um ... Never mind.
Here's IC hoping everyone will have a great Christmas! May the holidays be filled with lots of chocolates, presents, food and those carolers that always come back to your house, even if you've already given to them. ^.^
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year, minna-san!

~ I. C. All and Keeper of the Crystal

* - I didn't know what to rhyme with Kirara, okay?! So sue me! *realizes her mistake* Wait, don't sue me! Noooooo!!!!! x_x

Quote of the Day:
Sango: I know the monk would try to peek at us, but do you think Inuyasha would?
Kagome: No way. He's a cold fish.
Sango: Do you want him to look?