A Krazoa Legends Christmas Carol
By: Wolf E. Urameshi
Emails: firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
DISCLAIMER: All Star Fox characters and related trademarks are legal property of Nintendo and Shigeru Miyamoto. No infringement of the law is meant in any way. All original characters in this fic are property of their respective owners and may only be used with consent.
NOTICE FROM THE AUTHOR: Hi and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Here's a small parody of Charles Dickens' classic book, A Christmas Carol, but using the characters from Star Fox and my own from my classic Krazoa Legends fic. This is just a tribute to Christmas and or Savior Jesus, so Merry Christmas! Please note that several things may have been left from the classic, but I had to change several things, considering that this is Star Fox, in order to make it sound appropiate for this fic.
A KRAZOA LEGENDS CHRISTMAS CAROL
Little Boy-Little Chris (Son of Anton)
Slippy-Spirit Of Christmas Present
Tricky-Spirit of Christmas Past
Scales-Spirit of Christmas Future
"They want me to WHAT?" Janus aksed in shock as Cecilia put down a letter on a desk.
"They want you to star on a Christmas Performance, called 'A Christmas Carol'. If I were you, I'd say yes."
"NO! I'm no actor! I am a RESEARCHER, not an ACTOR!"
"Oh, come on! Everyone got a paper, and they all said yes! Why can't you follow their example?"
"For the last time, I'm no actor! I'd be useless for that!"
"Oh, come on! Say yes! Please!"
Janus walked to the couch and there he sat, mad. Why would he want to do such a thing anyway? "...I forgot to mention the HUGE money involved as a gratitude award of ten thousand credits..."
"TEN THOUSAND WHAT?" Janus quickly took the paper from the table, took a pen, and started to sign it.
"What are you doing?"
"Acting! What else?"
"Oh, thanks sweetie!" She gave him a great hug, almost chocking him.
"Cough! Stop, you're chocking me!"
SEVERAL WEEKS LATER...
"Janus, will you please hurry up? Thw whole thing starts in exactly five minutes! Aren't you dressed?!" Cecilia screamed as Janus came out of the dressing room in full despair and hurry.
"Yes, yes, I am! Let's just get on the stage!"
As soon as everyone was ready, Falco, who was up somewhere hidden, started to speak as the narrator into his microfone, giving a start to the theater piece.
NARRATOR 2: And now, ladies and gentlemen, we now present to you, "A Christmas Carol"! This is a heart-warming story of a young man named Ebenezer Sharpclaw... *Ebenezer appears in the stage, sitting in a chair, counting credits with an evil grin.*
NARRATOR 2: An old man tormented by a dark past, with no Christmas Spirit at all. But, will he regain the Spirit in time before saving himself from a terrible fate? We will find out today...
*Stage changes to a small village in a snowy town. Ebenezer walks out of a giant house in a brown cloak with a staff, walking hastily across the streets in anger*
EBENEZER: Bah, humbug! Christmas! What a total waste of time! Who would want to celebrate such a thing? Who made it?!
YOUNG BOY: *Comes prancing across the stage happily until he accidentally collides with Ebenezer* I'm sorry! Merry Christmas!
EBENEZER: Don't say that word in front of me! And watch where you're going, unless you want me to beat you up with my staff! *Chris runs off in haste, scared* Stupid boy! I HATE Christmas! It's only a total waste of time! *walks around the streets, scaring people away* The world is only made of money! Money makes the world work! What about love, they all ask? *sings a song*
Just who cares? Love is a myth,
So it's only fair, that money is your friend,
*Chorus 1* Just who cares? Love is a myth, So it's only fair, that money is your friend,
I don't care, I got the money,
It is my friend, Love is a myth
Love is unfair, It's all useless,
So why have love, When you're happy?
*Chorus 1 repeats*
*Chorus 2* Love is unfair, it's all useless,
So why have love, when you're happy?
Christmas is a lie! It's not worth it!
Money's worth your life, if you stake it on money,
But I don't care, my life is fair,
With all the money, that I have
*Chorus 3* Christmas is a lie, It's not worth it!
Why should we care? It makes no difference!
And I end my song, With a little something,
I want to say, It's not worth it
Ignore Christmas, Why don't you hate it?
And that's why I say,
*Ebenezer walks away from the stage. It changes to Ebenezer's house, where he is counting some money. A knock is heard on the door, he shrugs and opens the door. He smiles upon seeing his associate, Mr. Campbell.*
EBENEZER: Why hello, Mr. Campbell! Please, do come in!
MR. CAMPBELL: *comes in and sits on a chair* Ahh, how are you, my old friend Ebenezer? Oh, how long has it been? Let's see... Oh yes, five years! *Looks around the place, and is a little surprised to see that everything is dusty* What has happened to your place? I do not remember it like this. It used to be so clean...
EBENEZER: Oh yes, excuse me, I have been very busy lately, with all this useless Christmas preparations and all...
MR. CAMPBELL: Christmas? Ah yes! How could I have forgotten? I think it is a nice time to spend, and it can also bne the key to a great business...
EBENEZER: *Jumps at the statement* Business? How?
MR. CAMPBELL: I am sorry, Ebenezer, but it is my secret, and I swore myself to secrecy, so if I told you, I'd be dying. But hey, I will give you a day to learn about it. You will see.
MR. CAMPBELL: Of course. You have my word. *Realizes it's getting late* Well then, I
must go... But I will try and return tomorrow. I will see you, Ebenezer...
EBENEZER: *Shows him to the door* Of course! Feel free to return anytime!
MR. CAMPBELL: Of course, and Merry Christmas to you. *leaves. Ebenezer stares at the man leave. He slams the door in pure anger.*
EBENEZER: Arrrgh! I HATE that word! That fool doesn't understand! Christmas is a total lie!
It's a useless celebration! Useless!
*Scene changes to Ebenezer's bedroom, where he comes in with a bathrobe with no sleeves. He sits on his bed and starts to meditate about Christmas* Hmmm... Great business? On Christmas? What did he mean? Oh well, I will think up a scheme about it in the morning... *Goes to his bed, and falls asleep. The midnight bell sounds, and a fell wind blows through one of his windows. He suddenly wakes up nervously* Agh, it is a col night indeed... *Walks to his window, but falls back on his legs scared* AGH! What are you?
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Ebenezer Sharpclaw... I have come to warn you...
EBENEZER: What are you?! Are you a ghost?
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PAST: I am the Ghost Of Christmas Past, and I am here to show you the error of your ways... By reflecting on your life...
EBENEZER: What does my life have to do with this?
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Allow me to show you! *Carries Ebenezer like if by magic, him screaming. He just vanishes with the spirit. Soon, he's in a small party. He looks around and gasps when he sees a younger himself*
EBENEZER: GASP! It is me!
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Of course! This is you when you were just a teenage lad!
You weren't as spooky as now, you were brighter! Happy! Look! *Ebenezer watches as his
younger self asks a young lady to a dance. The lady nods and they dance to the music.*
EBENEZER: Why, it is me... Why am I so happy? I was always betrayed by Holidays...
SPIRIZT OF CHRISTMAS PAST: We must return. Time has run out. *They reappear at Ebenezer's room* Well then, that is all... I must go. *The Spirit vanishes*
EBENEZER: WAIT! ... Bah, humbug! Must've been a nightmare. I ought to go to sleep.
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT: I don't think so.
EBENEZER: Not another ghost!
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT: I am the Ghost of Christmas Present, and I am here to show you what is happening because of your actions! *Ebenezer and the spirit are taken to a small house in the village*
EBENEZER: Where am I?
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT: This is the Landry's house, the ones you always reject, even though they still care for you! Look at them!
EBENEZER: *Looks on to the house*
ANTON: *Places a small plate with food on the table* I know this isn't much, but hey, at least we have food!
SHARON: Yes dear, but must you really work for Ebenezer? He's just a pathetic bum!
EBENEZER: Why that little--
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT: Quiet. Listen.
ANTON: I know, sweetie, but I have to do it. Otherwise, how am I going to bring food to this table?
LITTLE CHRIS: He's a little stingy, but I have a feeling that he will change on Christmas. I know it.
ANTON: I hope so.
EBENEZER: *Watches in compassion* How can he say that? I despise Christmas now. How?
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT: It is all in the Christmas Spirit. Let us return to your home now... *They return to Ebenezer's room* There is more to see now... So, I must go... But I warn you... Your next visions willl not be as pleasant as the ones you just saw. Be warned... *The spirit vanishes*
EBENEZER: Warning? What was he saying? I should go to sleep before they all get to me. My mind is made up. *He returns to sleep. But by around four of the morning, he's suddenly awakened and taken into supreme darkness. A shadow appears* AAH! YOU! You're the Spirit of Christmas Future! What are you doing to me? *The shadow takes him to a grave, with two people standing in front of it.* Oh, My goodness! It is Anton! But, what is he doing there? *Stares at the grave, and sees that it has the name, "CHRIS LANDRY" written on it. He gasps* NO! Not their son! He was handicapped! He's the only thing they ever had! *The spirit takes him to another time. Three thieves are holding bags* What?
BARREL: Heh heh Look at all this money!
KYLA: Who could have thought Ebenezer would have had that much money? He was a fool!
RON: Yup! And now, we have it all to ourselves! HAHA! *they all laugh*
EBENEZER: WAS? What are they talking about? *The spirit takes him to a desolate graveyard. He points to a grave. Ebenezer looks at it.* Heh, what could a-- AAH! *Screams when he sees the name "EBENEZER SHARPCLAW" written on it.* Stop! Please! No more pain! STOP!!! *The stage darkens, and Ebenezer appears in his bed, tossing and turning desperately, he suddenly gets up sweating from the pain* STOP! *He looks around, and realizes it was all a dream* What...? So, it was a dream after all. But... NO! I must not let those things happen! I can still be happy! I still can! *He opens the window, and to the shock of the villagers...* MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! MERRY CHRISTMAS! *Comes down the stairs and out of his house in his usual outfit. A litle boy comes running around the block* Merry Christmas, boy! Here! *Gives him a bag of money*
LITTLE BOY: Wow, thanks! Merry Christmas! *Runs away*
EBENEZER: Yes, little boy, you too!
I have changed! I am new!
Christmas worked, I'm a new man!
It's all thanks to the people, they taught me everything,
So now I can be happy, Because of you!
Thank you! Merry Christmas!
*Stars of the theatrical piece come out, and they bow and greet the public*
EVERYONE: Thank you, and Merry Christmas!
...So it is to this day. Janus refused the credits and now he does the same characterization every year. And so, every year, they remember what Christmas is all about: Not money, or fame, but family and friends.
JANUS: From us to you...
EVERYONE: Merry Christmas!