Kiyomisa: Ah! I almost got it up before Christmass!! Oh well. This was written in kinda hurry, and I'm well aware that it's somewhate trite and cheesy, but I like it anyway ^_^. Have fun guys!

Disclaimer: If I owned them,'d be just like the show with more sex...but I don't so nyah!

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Janet rubbed her hands together in delight as she stood back and admired the last touch of decoration above her front door.


What kind of Christmas party could she throw without it? The small woman grinned maniacally, the same smile she got whenever she got one up on that Tok'ra bitch Anise.

Now, just to wait for her guests to arrive. Janet looked at her clock; 6:53. People were supposed to get there at seven. Four guests in all: Sam, Teal'c, Jack and Daniel.

It wasn't Christmas yet, that wasn't for another week. But since Sam, and Janet herself, would be going out of state for celebrations with family, the doctor decided to have everyone over early. Presents were an option, but highly appreciated.

As Janet was checking her lasagna, the doorbell rang for the first time. Chuckling in anticipation, she went to her door.

"Hello!" She sing-songed to her guests, who happened to be Sam and Teal'c. "What'd you bring me?" she asked impishly. Sam laughed at her friend.

"It's nice to see you too Janet. Now are you gonna let us in?"

Janet shook her head. "Sorry, not until tradition has been followed." She pointed up at the mistletoe. Sam looked up and groaned.

"You've got to be kidding."

"To get in you need a kiss!" Janet said in her best I'm-the-doctor-and-you-do-need-this-shot voice. Sam sighed and shook her head affectionately before leaning in and giving her friend a peck on the cheek.

Janet shook her head. "You call that a kiss?"

"Oh come on Janet, it's cold out here!"

"I do not understand," Teal'c said, raising his eyebrow and looking back and forth at the two women.

"It's a custom that whenever two people are under mistletoe, they have to kiss," the small woman informed the Jaffa mock-sternly.

Teal'c's eyebrows rose, but he inclined his head in understanding and leaned down to bestow his kiss upon her. Janet closed her eyes happily and stepped aside to let him pass into her abode.

"C'mon Sam, right here." Janet grinned, tapping her lower lip. Sam heaved another sigh, but she couldn't help but grin at her friend's antics. She shook her head again and leaned in to place another kiss on the shorter woman's lips.

This time when she backed away, Janet beamed happily and let her pass.

"Cute gimmick Janet. Lemme guess, you wanted the excuse to kiss the Colonel and Daniel, right?"

"Well, partially, but I haven't told you the rest of the game have I?"

Sam groaned. The last time she had seen that particular twinkle in her friend's eye, Daniel had been picking up minute confetti from a spring-loaded Egyptian organ jar for a week. "All right, what are you up to now?"

"Well, whoever arrived last has to answer the door for the next person."

"Which would require the next guest to kiss that person," Teal'c observed as he removed his jacket to sit down in a Christmas-y red sweater and jeans.

Janet held up a finger in triumph. "Exactly! And me too, 'cause I'm the host."

Sam eyed the woman critically. "Y'know, I'm not sure you deserve the present I got you. You're being awfully naughty..."

Janet shrugged. "I had to repress it to set a good example for Cassie. Have to let it out some time! Hey listen, make yourselves at home, I'm gonna go turn the oven off. The lasagna should be ready."

"Ah. I was wondering what created such a delightful smell."

"Teal'c you suck-up!" Sam laughed, which gained a small grin from the Jaffa.

"Well I hope you guys like it, 'cause I made lots."


Janet cackled and rushed back out into the living room. Teal'c was already heading for the door, while Sam hung back to watch the impending comic-tragedy.

"O'Neill, welcome."

"Hey Teal'c! What's up?" The man replied energetically, a shopping bag under his arm and a Santa's hat askew on his head.

"I cannot permit you to enter until we have kissed," was Teal'c's stoic reply.

The look on Jack's face was the same look he got whenever he heard someone say, "Komtrya!"

"What," he deadpanned.

Teal'c blinked slowly. "It is the law of the mistletoe."

Jack stared at him hard. "You're kidding. Carter, tell me he's kidding," he almost pleaded looking around the large man at his second.

Sam couldn't hide her grin as she shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Sir. Janet's rules."

"Actually, my rules state that whoever came in last kisses the next guest, and that would be you, Sam," Janet said smugly. Sam blushed and Jack grinned. Teal'c seemed to be smiling as he stepped aside to allow Sam to step forward.

"I'd just like to say that I'm doing this under protest," Sam muttered.

"Unh hunh," Janet and Jack said. Sam blushed even more, but Jack kissed her before she could say anything. He pulled away and patted her shoulder.

"Cheer up soldier, you made it!" he joked. Sam laughed and stepped aside to let him. Janet let the man put down his bag before claiming her own kiss, which was warily given.

"You're not gonna stick me with a needle or something are you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You need to be conscious for dinner. We couldn't possibly eat it all without you."

"What's in the bag Sir?" Sam nodded at the bag he'd brought.

"Sorry, classified information. I can't divulge it till after dinner. Speaking of that, when are we eating?"

"Not till Daniel's here."

"You appear to be looking forward to this, Dr. Frasier."

"Well of course! She gets to kiss him. That's probably the whole reason she set up the mistletoe anyway," Jack said, batting the pouf on the end of his hat out of his face.

"I'm too transparent. But now I've got something else to look forward to."

Jack wasn't sure he liked that look on the small woman's face, it was making him uncomfortable. "Oh yeah?" he asked cautiously. Janet sent a smirk at Sam, whose eyes widened in understanding. Jack's unease grew when Sam began giggling madly. He hadn't known that she was even able to giggle. "What?" he demanded.

"Sir, you get to open the door when Daniel shows up!"

Jack stared in disbelief at the two women. "No, you wouldn't..."

"It's the rules, Sir!"

Jack crossed his arms and pouted. "I'm not doin' it."

"You are if you want any dinner," Janet replied sweetly.

The doorbell rang, sending the two women into further giggles. Jack groaned and stood up. "You're gonna kill me, Doc!"

Janet merely smiled at him as he went to open the door.

"Hey Danny."

"Jack!" Daniel paused, blinking. "Why are you opening the door?"

"Oh, Doc's doin this crazy game...if you're the last to get here, you open the door for the next person."

Daniel frowned slightly. "Ohhkaay..."

Jack sighed and pointed up. Daniel followed with his eyes. "Oh my," he said, reasonably calmly. Then he looked past Jack to their hostess with a question in his eyes.

"On the lips," she asserted with a nod.

"Ah." Daniel turned back to Jack with a helpless 'what did I do to deserve this?' look. Jack just shrugged and sent his own 'hey I'm a victim too' look.

"C'mon guys!" Sam said encouragingly.

"I believe you should hurry, the chill air is coming inside," Teal'c observed.

"Oh for cryin' out loud," Jack muttered and grabbed the young man, pulling him in for a quick kiss. Sam and Janet just had time to start cheering when he pulled away again, leaving a slightly startled archeologist standing in the doorway.

"Wow," came his soft exclamation before he closed the door behind him. Jack, who was now blushing irritably, turned to Janet and said, "Can we eat now?"

"Just a minute," she replied, claiming a quick kiss from Daniel. "All right, now we can eat."

"Excellent," Teal'c announced and was the first to enter the dinning room.

At each place on the dinning table sat a shiny Christmas cracker. Daniel picked his up with a delighted grin.

"Crackers! Did you know these were invented by an English confectioner in 1847? Oh what was his name?"

"Who cares, let's eat!"

Janet brought out the lasagna and Jack pretended to drool appreciatively.

"Do you guys want to do the crackers now, or after dinner?"

"After!" Jack said emphatically. There was laughter as everyone dished up.

Janet's dish was a huge success. Jack and Teal'c each had three helpings, and Daniel wanted the recipe. When jack could eat no more and sat with the snap on his jeans undone, they popped the crackers, each donning the brightly colored paper crown inside, Jack's purple crown sitting regally atop the fur cuff of his Santa hat. Jack immediately set up his miniature nine-pin set and proceeded to lose all the pieces, as Sam and Daniel solved the simple but cute riddles and puzzles and Janet showed Teal'c how to use the noisemakers.

"Are you going to show us what's in the bag now, Sir?" Sam asked with a grin before the colonel could doze off from a full stomach.

"Wha? Hunh? Oh, yeah. Sure."

"Tom Smith!" Daniel suddenly burst, gaining everyone's curious attention. He looked sheepish, but pleased. "That's who invented crackers. Tom Smith."

Sam helped Janet clear the dishes and everyone filed back into the living room where Jack had picked up his bag with a true O'Neill grin.

When everyone was seated he tossed them a small cloth bag with their names on them. Each bag was light and slightly squishy.

"Merry Christmas!"

"Oh Jack, you didn't have to get me anything," Daniel protested with a soft smile.

Jack shrugged. "Would've been silly to get everyone else something without getting you one. Now c'mon people, open 'em!"

There was a flurry of soft rustling as the cloth bags were opened.

"Teddy bears?" Sam inquired through a laugh.

Jack grinned widely. "I couldn't resist 'em."

Each bear was an obvious reflection of the person they were given too. Sam's was a honey-colored bear wearing a sharp air-force uniform, complete with little hat. Janet's was an auburn bear, even a little smaller than the other's, dressed with white lab coat and stethoscope.

Daniel's bear was caramel-colored, sported glasses and a tweed jacket, and held two books. Teal'c's bear was the color of dark chocolate, and though dressed like a Christmas shepherd, looked very much like a native of Chulak with tan robes and staff.

"Oh they're wonderful Colonel!" Janet said warmly, first holding hers out to look at it, then bringing it close to snuggle.

"Well, I have to admit I had to do some costume-switching on 'em to get 'em to match you guys, but I think I did okay," Jack replied, very pleased with everyone's reactions.

"You know, I've never owned a tweed jacket," Daniel said absently, sounding as if he almost wished he did.

"Thank you, O'Neill. It is an admirable likeness."

"But where's yours, Sir?" Sam wanted to know.

Jack grinned and pulled one more from his sack. It was ash-grey and though obviously marketed as a safari explorer, it looked exactly like his desert cammos, down to the sunglasses.

Janet, Sam and Daniel chuckled and the archeologist reached out to take it for further study.

"That's great!" Sam laughed.

"Looks just like you, Jack."

"Doesn't it though?"

"Another admirable likeness, O'Neill."

A moment of silence followed, in which a decidedly electronic whir reached their ears.

"What's that?" Daniel wanted to know.

"Sounded like something shutting off," Jack added, looking around suspiciously.

Janet got up and took down a digital camera from its place behind a festive, leafy garland.

"Janet, why were you filming the door?" Sam asked dangerously.

"You were filming the kisses!?" Jack demanded.

Janet smiled disarmingly at him. "If it's not documented, it didn't happen, right?"

The rest of the evening was spent with Janet barricading herself in the kitchen with Daniel's help as Sam and Jack tried to get the incriminating device. The incident ended with the compromise that Janet would never ever` show it to anyone else, and would provide copies for Sam and Daniel.

Jack managed to refrain from asking what the two wanted with copies, and they all settled down with egg-nog.

"Well, that was fun," Daniel said, running his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas everybody," Jack said, raising his glass.

"Merry Christmas!" they all replied warmly, adding their glasses to the toast.

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Kiyomisa: The end! yeay! I actually looked up about Christmas crackers on the web, and this is the site I got my info-

It's pretty neat!

Merry Christmas everybody!!