Title: Duh

Author: raison d'etat (raisondetat@ebonyx.org)

Rating: PG

Summary: Who do they think they're fooling? Really.

Disclaimer: Okay. I'd *never.*


*That isn't true!*

"Bet you anything it is," Tet-chan said. "Bet you a million dollars."

*But how is it even possible?*

"What do I look like, an encyclopedia? Go look it up yourself!"

*You don't even know! You're just making that up!*

"You calling me a liar, crybaby?"

"Shut up, Tetsu!" Pon-chan snapped. But Chris wasn't upset. Tet-chan called him a crybaby at least once a day and it had lost its power to sting him -- especially since Tet-chan had viciously bitten the ankle of the last human boy to call him that. But he still didn't believe what Tet-chan was saying, and he didn't have a way to prove him wrong. It wasn't even like he *had* an encyclopedia. But he did live under the roof of the man who was, in Chris' humble opinion, the smartest person in the world. That would be just as good.

Chris rushed into the sitting room, intent on asking his question, Tet-chan and Pon-chan both hot on his heels. *Count! Count D, what do you think would happen if -- *

He was just in time to see his big brother leap away from where he had been sitting very close to D on the sofa. "And that, Count," Leon said briskly, if a little breathlessly, "is how you give CPR in an emergency situation. Very handy. Really good thing to know."

"I imagine so, Detective," D replied, wheezing slightly, sitting up straight and reaching up to fasten the frog buttons at his collar. "And, of course, the loosening of the victim's clothing -- "

"Essential. Absolutely," Leon said, nodding and tucking his shirt back into his pants. He had a smear of lipstick on his chin. "All civilians ought to be properly trained in this, you ask me."

"You have certainly done your part, Detective," D said, smoothing his hair down. "Thank you ever so much for the demonstration. Ah, Chris, there you are. I didn't even hear you come in."

"Hi, Chris," Leon said, reaching for his jacket, which was lying on the floor by the foot of the sofa. "Well, hate to run, but I gotta get back to work."

"Good day, Detective. I'm sure we'll see you again this evening. I'm just going to get Chris' afternoon tea."

"Great. I'll be by tonight. See ya."

Leon left by the front door. D went into the kitchen. Neither of them had once looked Chris in the eye.

Chris, Pon-chan and Tet-chan were left alone in the sitting room.

"They think you're dumb as rocks, don't they?" Tet-chan asked after a moment.

Chris shook his head. *I think they just forget I watch television.*

"You didn't get to ask Count D your question," Pon-chan reminded him.

*Funny,* Chris replied. *I don't think I even remember what it was.*