S J Smith

Disclaimer: Not now, nor ever have been, Joss Whedon

Challenge in a Can: Angel, hollow, herbs

Timeline: Sometime during "Revelations" (season 3, BtVS). 

For Nus.  Merry Yule. 

* * *

I just want to do what's right, here. 

I mean, they were her friends first.  I know that.  And I know everything that the demon did to them.  It's all come back now, all the memories of what he - I - did without a soul.  Everything that happened has been etched into my brain.  I see my hands taking Jenny Calendar's head between them to snap her neck.  I caress Willow's hair and breathe deep of her scent, laced with fear.  I lap at Xander's impotent rage that he can't keep me from Buffy, even in a hospital.  I delight in Giles' vengeance and all but bathe in his fury and pain as my hands inflict atrocities on him. 

And Buffy...I wanted to roll in her agony, wallow in the decadence of her loss.    

I love her. 

The demon was - is - obsessed with her.  He...wants another chance at her.  He'd take it, too.  He wants to dance above her body, drunk on her blood. 

God help me, those urges live in me, too. 

But I was brought back for a reason, a hollow shell filled with a soul, and I'll do what I can to help her.  I'll do my best. 

I have the Glove of Myhnegon in my possession.  I have the herbs and the knowledge to destroy it, to keep it from Lagos.  And I'll do what I have to do, to keep her and her friends safe. 

Because she loves them.  Because I love her. 

Because it's Buffy.

Because I need her so much more than she'll ever need me.