I love him and he loves her. But I can deal with that as long as I'm not turned away when I arrive at his door. And I know I never will be. I always know just what to expect, and I still go willingly because it's better then nothing. At least this way, I still get him in some form. And as I walk into his mansion, I find him the same as always. On the couch, hard and ready after hours with *her*, waiting for me to give him the release he needs so badly. And even though I know he will call her name tonight, as he always does, I'm okay with that.

Because he may love Buffy, but it is me he takes to bed every night.