Insert your basic 'don't own the rights to 'Cyborg 009' disclaimer here. This is just a weird shortfic I posted on the Cyborg Fanfiction Group a while back, and decided to go ahead and share here. Bear with me: it was late, I was bored and attempted to answer a question that bugged me the first time I saw Black Ghost: why doesn't he dress to suit his name?

~ * Fun at Black Ghost's Expense * ~

The 00-team clambered down yet another one of the long, shadowy corridors that seemed to make up the vast majority of Black Ghost's bases. (Nobody knew exactly WHY Black Ghost was apparently so terribly fond of layouts that turned even the most basic tasks into long sprints, but generally chalked it up to being just another 'bloody annoying' evil organization idiosyncrasy. Actually, most of the workers found it pretty stupid too; Doctor Gilmore once regaled several of the cyborgs with a long tale about the perils of 'coffee fetching' while considerably intoxicated.)

After several minutes of running, everyone was sufficiently annoyed enough that when they finally reached a door, Albert and Chang promptly blew the thing off its hinges so that they could all enter at once.

Naturally, the adjoining chamber was huge, looming, and dark. Apparently, huge evil organizations also have a thing against concepts like track lighting.

"Wonderful." Jet rolled his eyes. "Wonder how many more tired cliches we're going to trek out?"

As if triggered by his remark -- or just waiting for any excuse to make what was supposed to pass for a dramatic entrance -- familiar laughter echoed through the shadowed chamber, loud, mocking, and irritating.

"Black Ghost!" Obviously the villain wasn't the only one brushing up on his cliches; Joe tensed, thrust his chest out and shouted into the darkness "Show yourself!"

And then there was light, exploding into being with all the suddenness of a flipped switch and previously unnoticed floodlights mounted in the ceiling blinded everyone. The cyborgs shielded their eyes, a few (read: Jet) hissing some choice words; then, almost as one, they turned to behold a figure standing on a platform towering above them.

Black Ghost leered down at his opponents -- or, at least, it seemed like he was leering. It was kind of hard to judge, since the villain was covered head-to-toe in a huge black sheet. A pair of round eyeholes were cut in the top, complete with yellow lenses underneath.

"Welcome, cyborgs!" he thundered, grandly sweeping his arms out, despite the fact that the sheet was also draped over them. "So glad that you could join me -- you're just in time for your demise!"

He took one threatening step forward -- tread on the edge of his disguise, promptly slipped, fell, and tumbled head-over-covered-heels all the way down the staircase.

"Oh cr-aaaaaaa--"


Much later, after the fact, his loyal supporters would insist that this was all part of his master plan, for while the rebel cyborgs had escaped yet again, this time, they had nearly killed themselves laughing beforehand.