AN: Ahahaha! *Scratches back of head sheepishly* This was intended to be finished before Christmas but me being the lil' procrastinator that I am didn't finish it til the day after Christmas. Oddly enough, everyone else decided to write these fluffy fics and here I am writing smut. *sigh* I'm always so out of the loop.  And with all its weirdness which I attempted to correct, I _still_ don't like it so, here's to hoping you all do and Happy Belated Holidays!

*Argh! Sasuke you asshole! Why-this-never-stupid-AARRGGH!!!! Gods, you even screw up my thoughts, you ungrateful bastard! If it weren't this stupid holiday, I swear to the gods you would be in a world of pain right now!*

Uzumaki Naruto was facing a challenge, a problem, a freakn' stupid assed crisis.

"Come on Naruto, you know it'll make him happy," cooed Ino, her lips twitching spasmodically from the pain of trying to withhold that huge grin that her mouth wanted to split into. Her hands, and others, still persistently pulled at Naruto's clothes trying to get him out of them, while Naruto desperately sought to keep them on.

"And you want to make Sasuke as happy as he can be, right? After all, you two love each other and lovers would do anything for one another." Ino clasped one hand above her heart and placed the other on her forehead before swooning with a love-stricken sigh.

"Yeah, but not this, this is just—just ARRGGHH!!" Naruto began ripping at his hair, trying to think of a way out while still battering the many female hands away. Finally, he gave up, choosing instead to glare at the gathered crowd and angrily pointed a finger (you know which one) at them.

"There aren't enough curse words in this world for me to tell you how pissed off I am, how shitty this is, how much I hate you all at the moment and-"

"Yeah, yeah Naruto, put a sock in it. You'll be thanking us quite nicely after Sasuke *cough* thanks you for his lovely gift." Sakura giggled and the other girls laughed.

*Grrr…Sakura-chan, you're next on my hit list…I regret _ever_ asking you for help!*

"Oh, how cute! Naruto is blushing!" tittered Tenten, fingers pinching Naruto's cheeks.

"Oh, he'll look even cuter once we've finished with his outfit!" Ino promised with a wink, "Just you wait and see."

"Dammit, I thought you all were crazy about Sasuke and after my blood for 'stealing him away?' What the hell happened to that?!"

*Geez, I'd rather have you all out for my blood then dressing me up.*

"Ugh, come on Naruto," Ino rolled her eyes at the dobe's stupidity. "That was when we were twelve, it's been seven years now, we've grown out of our stupid crushes."

*Yeah, sure, so that was why you _only_ sent Sasuke a Rolex watch and a little invitation for two at some  hotel in the mountains for Christmas, yeah, uh huh, BULLSHIT!*

"Besides Naruto, we know how much you mean to each other," Sakura's hands slowed for a moment. "You brought him back, saved him when I couldn't…" she trailed off and her hands dropped down to rest by her sides.


"Meh," Naruto muttered with a pout, "Fine, I'll wear that stupid dress or whatever that—"

*Uh-oh…Naruto you idiot!*

Sakura's head rolled up, her eyes narrowed in crazed victory and she smirked, that evil smirk that Sasuke used just before he jumped Naruto.

"Heh heh heh, Naruto no baka! Hurry, get it on him!"



Where is that dobe? He's already thirty minutes late. Hmm, perhaps a little punishment later? Could be fun…[1]

"O-oi, S-sasuke!" Kiba was doubled over, crawling on the floor and laughing like a rabid dog had bitten him.

"HAHAHAHAH!!! Oh gods, you have got to see this…" Tears were streaming out of his eyes now and he could barely open them. Soon Kiba was rolling around clutching his stomach with both hands, his wild hyena laugh ringing throughout the ramen restaurant.

The hell?

"J-just g-go ou-HAHAHAHA!" Index finger pointed towards the entrance.

Holy Mother of—

There, standing in the entrance of Ichiraku, was Uzumaki Naruto, dressed as French maid.

His black silk shirt, did it even qualify as a shirt?, hugged his skin so tightly that Sasuke could see the hard, slender muscles underneath. It's V-neck was deep enough for Sasuke to see those tight pecs but still too high for too much golden skin to be revealed. The short sleeves ended in white lace and were scrunched up a bit, creating a little poof on each of Naruto's shoulders. The short black skirt cut just below Naruto's delectable rump and clung like a second skin. The edge of the skirt was hemmed with the same frilly white lace which contrasted beautifully with Naruto's sun-tanned legs. His legs, lithe runner's legs were covered up to the knees with black fishnet and ended with black high heels, each with a shiny buckle on the end of the two criss-crossing straps. On his hands were little white gloves with a tiny black bow near the wrist and around his waist was tied a small white apron with "Spank me Santa…cuz I've been a BAD boy" written on it in red. To top it all off, there was a little Santa's hat perched jauntily on top of Naruto's spiky golden locks.

Shit…it's REALLY hot in here now…thank the gods for long billowing trench coats. But when did he—where did he—Meep!

Face blazing a never seen before crimson, Naruto began to slowly saunter towards Sasuke, hips rolling at every step causing the tight material around them to tighten even further.

Damn…when the hell did he learn th-th-at…DAMN!

Naruto's tongue had snaked out bit by bit, before finally the blond kitsune licked his lips sensuously while his half-lidded eyes locked onto Sasuke's. Every step Naruto took caused his eyes to deepen in color until Sasuke was drowning in lusty ocean blue eyes that sparked with as much anger as passion. Finally, he stopped, near enough for the darker haired man to feel the heat radiating off of Naruto's body but still far away enough to be somewhat out of reach.

"I'm-I *Swallow your pride Uzumaki and spit it out! The sooner the better, then this freakish torture will end!* apologize for my tardiness, Master. *Not that it was my fault!* Please, forgive me?" murmured Naruto before prostrating himself at Sasuke's feet, golden head bowed low to the ground with cheeks still burning red.

Shit, does Naruto even realize that his shirt is riding up and the skirt is—oh FUCK!

After a couple minutes and still no reaction from Sasuke, Naruto slowly raised his head, attempting to catch a glimpse at the eyes that he had captured quite easily before. No such luck this time, Sasuke's head was turned and his bangs shadowed his eyes.

*Damn, what is it now? I thought he wanted _this_*


"Mmmm, Sasuke stop tha—ahhh!"

"Stop what?"


"Hmm, but I love it when you make that sound."

"Well too ba-aaahhhh-d! Mou, stop!"

"Hmm, fine. But only after you call me Master."

"THE HELL!?!?!"

"Mmm, and a little maid's outfit while you're at it. It's got a kinky feel to it."

"Ugh, I'm sleeping with a pervert."

"You seemed to like what I was doing to you before…"

"Aaahhhh! Stop, mmm, fuck that _harder!_"


*Guess he was joking…damn you _are_ the number one biggest idiot in Konoha Uzumaki!*



"Get up. NOW."

*Erk… I'm so going to get it!*

"I'm sorry Sasuke but I thought—Whoa!"

Sasuke had grabbed Naruto's arm and was dragging him away from Ichiraku at an alarming pace. In a matter of minutes, Naruto found himself inside the Uchiha's home, thrust against the foyer wall with narrowed eyes staring at him. Not knowing what to say, Naruto decided that silence was the best way for him to escape with his most valued body part still connected.

"Dobe. What the hell were you thinking?"

Naruto flinched. "I'm sorry, real—"

Naruto wasn't able to finish. Firm arms slammed Naruto back against the wall before pale hands captured his wrists, pinning them to the wall, while Sasuke's mouth crushed Naruto's against his own. His tongue slid into Naruto's mouth, caressing and re-tasting each part of it before drawing Naruto's own tongue into his own mouth, sucking on it like a popsicle on a hot summer's day, slowly, so as to savor Naruto's taste yet with enough pressure to elicit soft moans from him. Finally, Sasuke drew away, smirking at the dazed expression left on his koi's face.

"But, I thought…"

"Humph, idiot." Sasuke drew Naruto closer before dropping his head onto Naruto's, forehead to forehead, obsidian eyes fastened on to cobalt eyes. "You're mine and _only_ mine. I'm not going to let any one else see what's meant for my eyes only."

With a light blush dusting his cheeks, Naruto laughed. "Jealous bastard."

"Excuse me, I believe that should be Master."

"WHAT?!? Nu-uh! The outfit is enough, actually the outfit is too much! Fuck's sake, I'm wearing a freakn' leather thong for you and do you—"

"Mmmm, yes. I saw it at Ichiraku when you were kneeling on the ground like a proper maid should for her master. Made me want to do you right there."

"You saw—WHAT?! I'm not your bitch, asshole! I'm not bending over again, no matter how much you want it!"

"Is that so?"



"I don't know Ino, Sasuke-kun seemed pretty mad. Do think, just maybe, we overdid it a little?"

"Come on Sakura, this is Sasuke we're talking about here. When has he ever not been mad?"

"Still, he seemed angrier than usual…"

"Please, Sakura! I'm sure everything is _fine_ Besides you know how much Sasuke loves Naruto, so, he wouldn't stay angry at him too long."

"Sure, but you didn't see his face…"

Still bickering, both girls finally found themselves outside a familiar door.

"Well, hurry up and knock. It's rather cold to just stand around outside you know."

With a huff, Sakura slowly raised her hand to knock—

"Ahhhh! Please Master! Nnnn-ha-harder please!"

"Beg me some more first."

"Ahhhh! Master!"

-long silence-

"Heehee! See Sakura they're doing just fine!"


"Mmm, merry Christmas by the way."

"Hn. Merry Christmas _Master_ you mean."



[1] Our Sasuke's a lil pervert! XD Picked it all up from Kakashi-sensei. Tsk, tsk! Such a bad teacher!

AN: Sorry extra note! For those interested in Eyes, I'll update soon I swear! I've just been procrastinating and sick and studying for end exams and so on and so forth and please don't hurt me for my lame excuses! So please, don't abandon my other fic cause it's coming along! Cheers!!