Disclaimer: Nope… Saiyuki still isn't mine.

Still alive, still writing, or at least, desperately trying to find time to! At last I've come to the last chapter … Please read on :)

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Part III

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God no… no…. Not again…

He ran blindly down the well-trodden path scarcely knowing were he went, and caring even less. Blood pounded in his ears, and his eyes could see nothing but darkness, a final darkness from which there was no return.

Kanan, how could you have left me?

She could have lived, she could have had the child and then he'd have killed it for her if that was what she'd wanted. He'd killed them all now, what would a single child have been to him? He didn't care what they'd done to her, he loved her, he loved her. But now she was gone, and he was left with nothing but memories, all darkened by the last one she had left him with. Oh God he loved her so much…

Lightening flashed, lighting up the dark sky briefly, as he stumbled and fell on his knees. It started to rain.

Silly! Oh come on, don't cry…the pain will soon go away!

But not this pain, he answered to the voices in his mind.

She would scold and comfort by turn when they were children, protective and caring… It had been his turn to protect her now, but where was he when she needed him most? He moaned as guilt tore at him, ravaging his soul, leaving him no respite, as the wind tore at the trees, snapping twigs and leaves… they were so fragile… so fragile… like her.

The man lifted his pale face towards the sky, as rain poured down, and red drops of blood and water trickled down his cheeks. The sky was weeping in his stead, for he could no longer cry…

He wiped his face and looked at his bloodstained hands. Blood… blood… both his and that of the youkai… there wasn't really any difference, it was still blood, red, viscous, laden with guilt. His hands trembled as he stared at his hands with dread… the same hands which couldn't save Kanan… the same hands which had killed so mercilessly…

Not my child, please… please spare my child!

Why ? He'd asked the female demon reasonably. Death would claim her child anyway, so why not now? He laughed hoarsely. It was only postponing the inevitable. Death came to all, both men and youkai… There was nothing holy in death, nor was there anything profane. Death was just the absence of life, nothing more, nothing less. He remembered the look on their faces and their screams and laughed again, but the laugh turned into a dry sob. He was going mad, mad… he had murdered them one by one and he couldn't even feel sorry for it…

His fist dug into the ground, his nails clawing at the soil frantically as he swung back and forth moaning. He lost all his claims to sanity as soon as the knife slid between her ribs, robbing her of the life which was hers by right. Then he remembered nothing but a desperate urge to kill, to wipe all traces of those foul creatures off the face of the earth. Pity? He had used up all his pity for himself, he had none to spare for filth…

He licked his chapped lips and felt the metallic taste of blood. He knew he was injured, but he felt nothing. His sensed were numbed… he could only feel a dull ache near his heart, an all too familiar ache which he knew would never go away…

I can't Gonou. I'm tainted, tainted for ever…

Tainted? Her? Oh God… He had begged her to stop, to reconsider… But she too had lost her mind. She could understand nothing but the fact that she had been taken by one of them, and what was worse, she was carrying his child. He remembered her smile, so sweet, so loving, hiding the hard core, her unforgiving nature deep, deep inside. He shuddered when he thought of the coldness of her gaze, almost hidden by the tears in her eyes. Kanan had never forgiven them for what they had done to her family. To her all youkai were the same; there were no good or bad demons, they were all guilty. Her hatred for them surpassed any other emotion she had ever felt. There was no way she could keep on living, knowing that… knowing that….

Gonou

But Gonou was no more… he had died the moment her heart stopped. In his place was only an empty shell, a half-crazed being thirsting for revenge, even though he knew that nothing would ever bring her back, not even killing them all. But he felt no sorrow, no regret for what he had done. Every drop of humanity had spilled out of his heart as the blood seeped out of her body…

He collapsed, landing with a soft thud on the moist ground. He could feel the last dredges of life leaving his enfeebled body. Death had been long in coming, but he felt sure that she would soon reach him, and drown him in sweet oblivion.  The man waited.

Suddenly a small glint of green caught his attention, and he shifted his head slightly.  A small shoot had managed to push its way through the dark soil, a single survivor in that wilderness. He reached out weakly and caressed it, half afraid that he would break the slender stem, so weak yet so strong. He smiled slightly. Strange that even where there he thought there could only be death, there was still some life…

Darkness enveloped his mind, and Cho Gonou lay unconscious on the ground as the rain pelted down on his still frame.

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O-O;; Blame school. Blame exams. But that's the way I think Cho Gonou must have felt… and being an author, I have the right to poetic license and a little imagination…

Excuse the lateness of this chapter! Thank you to all previous reviewers, and hopefully any future ones.

Sayonara my friends. Comments and constructive criticism as always, are appreciated. Thank you *_*