Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I don't own Shakespeare's works, and I don't even own a copy of War and Peace.

The Slytherin common room was dim with approaching night, the only light stemming from a warm and crackling fire. Near this said fire were two comfy chairs, and in these chairs sat two boys by the names of Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

Goyle sighed dramatically and turned the page of his heavy textbook. "I say, this writer's commentary on the subject of giant wars is highly limited."

"As well as biased," Crabbe agreed. "It's a terrible sign of extreme racism on our part not only as wizards but human beings."

"Aye, and even further as brethren of same good natural world. Though, as we are Slytherins, I suppose it is best we continue this right-winged opinion that has kept us together as a wizarding people for centuries. Revolution will come in its own due time."

"Yes, it is best," said Crabbe, pulling out his journal. "The ideologies of people like Professor Dumbledore are admittedly very nice, but, well, idealistic. Not at all practical. Muggles are necessary in extreme cases to further the race of wizardry, but embracing them so suddenly will only result in chaos."

"Yet Muggles have contributed greatly to world culture," Goyle mused. "I've been studying the works of William Shakespeare during my leisure time. Brilliant mind and a firm grip of the art of the playwrite."

Crabbe gave a dignified laugh. "Ah, yes. His satirical poke at the manner of the peasant witches in Macbeth was certainly worth some appreciation. Shakespeare is not bad, for a Muggle. But I unfortunately have precious little time for literature of the Muggle Renaissance."

"A pity!"

"Yes, well, it's just that these mathematical formulas can be quite overwhelming. I'm currently reading some notes of how the theoretical fourth dimension could possibly change the definition of pi, and you can imagine how that would upset mathematicians! I-"

"Vincent! Silence!" Goyle lifted his head, listening. "Why, I believe it's our dear friend Draco Malfoy approaching! Quickly! Hide your copy of War and Peace!"

Crabbe managed to shove his book underneath the chair as Draco Malfoy waltzed into the room.

"Hello," Draco said. "I tripped that Weasley in the hall today. . ."

Crabbe and Goyle mumbled their usual unintelligible replies.

The End!