OH MY GOD, SHE LIVES!!!
Yes, I know, it's been such a long time since I've updated, and I am so sorry!!! I'm such a hypocrite, I'm always yelling at other authors to update and then here I am, not updating in what, three months? Four months? Er . . . --;; So yeah, I am so incredibly sorry for the long wait. I hope you guys haven't forgotten about me yet! waves arms frantically I'M STILL HERE!!!! ' I'm still not particularly satisfied with this chappie, but I couldn't think of anything else to add. I hope you'll all review anyway.
Here's some shout-outs:
DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You'll get your fill soon enough . . . Here's the next chappie!!
Copycat4: Hehe, yep, me like fudge! I don't smoke crack or anything, but I do give off that impression, don't I? Thanks for reviewing, hope you like this chap!
Kai/rei forever kai the uke: Thankie thankies!!
Dark Willow: Yay! Thanks, here's the next chapter!
Sailor Red: Haha, that's okay, I've pretty much been hiding in a hole too, lol! Glad you liked, here's the next one!
Shadow-seraph: ' Haha, nice bit of sarcasm there . . . uhh . . . Yes, Yama in a pink frilly apron! I am SOOO gonna have to put that somewhere in this fic again . . . hehe, and give Tai a nosebleed or something . . . Lolz!! Here's the next chap, enjoy!
Sillie: Yah, thanks for reviewing!! Btw, I luv ur fics!! Here I am, continuing. Hope you enjoy!
PrincessSwifty: Aw, poor Tai! Ew . . . joins Yama in squealing Yah, taito rules!! This update isn't "soon" but it's here! Hope you like!
Redvind: Yep, it HAS been a long time! I know, I know, and I'm sorry for keeping everybodee waiting! And well, I originally said that it was gonna be 10 chappies, but then that changed and now it's gonna be more, yay (for you ')!!
LadyK: ehm . . . what's with your name? o.O Yes, I loooove fudge!!! No prob for the dedication thingy, thanks for reviewing, my loyal reviewer! Can you review this one too? puppy eyes hehehe . . . yelps when tai and yama tackle her but quickly gets used to the situation . . . wink wink Ahh, this is the life . . . hehe, hope you like!
Tyson FoxFlame: TYSON!! glompz back Who says they're together again? evil maniacal laughter As for you keeping Ryan . . . well, you can have Joshie now too! You two can share! Kay? hopeful look Hey lookie, you're online! Like, right now, as I'm writing this. Hey . . . that's so cool! It's like I'm talking to TWO of you, but not really. Get it? crickets chirp Okaayyyy . . . Oy, that was just about as funny as one of Gomamon's wisecracks. I'm really losing it. Right then, here's the next chappie after a long wait, so I hope ya like! (I'm kinda scared of talking to you after you read this . . . )
Mira Black: Hey!! But I am the evil authoress, who says they're together?!? breaks into evil cackling laughter You'll probably hate me by the end of this chappie . . . But yes, fudge is good!! I'm actually eating some fudge right now, it's this cream fudge stuff my mom found at the deli store and it's got this cow on the front of the wrapper . . . o.O Thanks about the 100 plus reviews, I was so happy . . . well, here's the next chappie!
nEo-cHaN: Haha, Cuba seems so long ago to me now . . . oopsie . . . well, here's the next chapter. Hope you like!
Redrum: Hehe you're very welcome! Yamachi is cool too. That thing about the hangovers surprised me. Really? I know, when I first read that I was like, "Lucky people . . ." but that liver thing makes sense too. Serves them right, bwahaha . . . Well, anywho, hope you like this chappie!
Bishie Lovers 'R' Us: Yes, I know cliffies are evil! I'm sorry! Thanks for reviewing!!
Bishou: Your reviews always make me wanna cry! Thank you, thank you. I hope this chapter is okay, I've been neglecting this story for a bit and I think my imaginary muses hate me . . . but in any case, I hope you review again!
Kurochan: Hehe, thankies!! Here's chapter 10 . . .
LemonTwist: hehe thanks!! Thanks for reviewing, hope you like this chappie.
Ikana Katsuragi: Tai did act like a bitch, din he? Well, I'm not telling if it's taito or yamachi, though I did plan on it to be taito, but I'm not so sure anymore . . . we'll see how it turns out. You keep track of all my fics? Wow, I'm flattered . . . blushes Well, here's chapter 10!
And this chapter is dedicated to . . . drum roll Tyson FoxFlame!!! And this isn't like a guilt thing, cuz you dedicated your chappie to me (for which I am very honored and flattered) but I was going to do it anyway. You are also an awesome person and fun to talk to, plus an extremely talented author (EVERYONE GO READ TYSON'S FICS!!!). Your fics were actually some of the first taitos I ever read, and then I got hooked . . . (hehehe . . . glompz tai and yama) So everybody, hats off to Tyson! Thanks for your reviews and I hope you like this chappie!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Yet. You just watch.
So, without further adieu (did I spell that right?)Chapter Ten: Uh oh . . . Complications
::::::::::::: Yamato's POV :::::::::::::
As I held onto Tai, my dear, sweet Tai-chan, my eyes started to tear up. Tiny little streams of water started to make their way down my cheeks. They reached his face, which was buried in my neck, and he started and looked at me, tears also evident in his own chocolatey orbs.
"What's wrong, Yama?" he whispered, and I choked in a breath. I could drown in those eyes, but right now they held so much pain. Was it my fault? And . . . he called me Yama . . . the tears came faster. He scrunched his eyebrows together in concern. "Why are you crying? I'm the one that did wrong, not you . . ."
I shook my head wildly and strands of hair slung to my wet face, but I didn't care. I couldn't stop crying. "No, no it's not like that, Tai," I sobbed. "I did wrong too, I followed you like a little sneak, because I was too curious to find out what I could've simply asked you about and I'm really sorry and if I hadn't we – "
Taichi grabbed my face and made me look directly into the eyes I loved so much. "Yama, of all people this is not your fault! That's right . . . shh now," he soothed, and I couldn't help but melt in his strong arms. But I couldn't, not now, I had to make him understand how bad I felt, how much I regret what I did, how guilty I felt. I took a deep gulp of air with difficulty but he put one finger on my lips and used the other to brush away my tears, as if he knew. As if he understood. But how could he?
The touch made me shiver visibly and I closed my eyes, leaning into the touch. He took his hand away and held me tighter, and at that moment, leaning my head on his shoulder, it just felt so wonderful, so warm and safe in his arms.
"To be honest, Yama, I don't know if I would've told you if you asked me," he said softly, startling me and breaking the silence. His breath tickled my ear, and I looked up, confused. "You needn't apologize, though. You're not to blame at all, you would've found out sooner or later." I saw his eyes starting to tear up again, so this time, I gently ran my thumb over his cheekbone and smoothed them away. He kept his eyes open, and stared at me all along.
There was a pause. Regret, frustration, passion and love were rushing between us in wild torrents through our eyes, like a seemingly never-ending war. I didn't know if I liked the feeling or not, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. It was a strange feeling, being held under his gaze like that as if he were looking into my very soul.
I soon decided that I didn't like it. His gaze and the circumstances made me feel extremely pressured. I adverted my gaze and said monotonously, "I still should have trusted you more."
I heard him chuckle softly. "You're so stubborn, Yama . . ." He paused. "Okay, I admit that I definitely didn't like you stalking me like that." My face immediately crumpled. Of course.
"But I still have done way worse than you," he continued quickly, holding me tighter. "Please, please don't cry Yama . . . I hate to see you cry . . ."
We stood there for a while, just holding each other up as if we'd fall if we lost our grip. There was so much to say between us, so much to catch up on, and so much I wanted to ask him. It's still hard to believe that all this happened just while I was gone. So I summed up all of my confused and jumbled-up thoughts in one question.
::::::::::::: Meanwhile, in Kari's room . . . :::::::::::::
Kari sighed over the phone. "Yeah, Tai's ex-boyfriend just left and Matt came over. I think they're trying to sort stuff out between them."
On the other line, Sora also sighed, but with relief. "I'm so glad. All this tension has got to stop. I'm hoping that once Matt and Tai are the best of friends again, that maybe things will go back to normal with the rest of us too."
"Yeah, especially with you . . . and Kou."
"Yeah, poor Koushirou. I mean, he was almost as good as friends with Tai as Tai was with me. He was there for Tai when you got sick in the digital world, remember? I think that's a big part of their friendship. We all know how much Tai cares about you."
Kari smiled softly and mentally thanked whatever entities there were for having a brother like Tai, even if he did screw up majorly every once in a while. Like now. "I'm sure he'll try his best to make things right again with Koushirou, the rest, and you. Don't deny it, he was the worst towards you."
Sora sighed. "I suppose," she mumbled, frowning and tracing patterns on her desk with her finger as she swiveled in her computer chair at her home. "But I know that the old Tai is still in that battered heart somewhere. It might take a while, but talking to Matt is a good start. By the way, how are they doing?"
"Hold on a sec," said Kari. Pressing the hold button on the phone, she quietly opened her door a crack and peered down the hallway. She smiled at the sight of the two older destined.
"Well?" asked Sora, when she got back on the phone.
"I think everything will be just fine," she said happily, closing her door behind her silently and plopping herself down on her bed.
"Oh?" Sora's voice sounded suspicious. "What makes you think so?"
Kari couldn't help but giggle. "I just peeked out, and I saw them hugging in the living room."
"Yeah. Just kinda standing together and hugging."
"Oh, really now?" grinned Sora.
"But I think I also saw tears in their eyes," she added worriedly.
"Oh don't worry about it Kar," reassured Sora. "If they're crying a bit while they're hugging, it's probably a good sign."
Kari frowned. "Like how?"
"It usually means that they're reassuring each other, resolving differences, or, in their case, just happy to be friends again, if they are. I'd say either of those would be pretty good. And anyway," she continued, smiling a little when she could practically feel Kari's confused pout, "if they were bad tears, they wouldn't be hugging, now, would they?"
Kari mulled the thought over for a few seconds. Then a small smile appeared on her face. "I suppose that makes sense. I shouldn't have doubted, you do have the crest of love after all." Her grin widened and her eyes glinted mischievously. "Hey, you know what I think?"
"What if it wasn't just a normal hug? You know what I mean."
"You mean . . ."
"Yep, I bet that when I look out again in five minutes, they'll probably be making out on the couch, or something."
Sora gasped, then squealed. "Oh, it's about time the realized their feelings for each other! Matt already has, he told me, but Tai, having had a boyfriend and all might have put him off-track. But still . . ." Sora frowned, even though Kari couldn't see it. "Don't get your hopes up too high. They might become friends again first and deny the inevitable some more."
"Deny, deny, deny!" the younger girl cried out exasperatedly, causing the older girl to jump. "I swear, they've been doing that for soo long. For at least the past few months, I could tell. Honestly, sometimes I just wanna smack them both upside their heads and then lock them both inside a closet!"
Sora's eyes narrowed, then lit up suddenly. "Oh my god, Kari, I have the best idea ever. Quick, three way Mimi!"
::::::::::::: Taichi's POV :::::::::::::
"Why?" he had asked.
I sighed against his neck, then pulled out of the hug. This was it. I had to tell him. He deserved to know everything, after all. I walked over to the couch and sat down slowly, patting the seat beside me to indicate for Matt to do the same. He followed me and sat, and waited patiently for me to start. He was always patient with me. At least at times like these.
I took a deep breath and started to talk. I told him about how upset I was when he left. I told him about how I met Ryan, and about how my lifestyle changed, and about everything I was glad I did and everything I regretted doing. I reassured him that I only went and sold myself about five or six times in total, nothing compared to what Ryan and the others did. I even found myself saying stuff that hadn't occurred to me, or that I hadn't meant to say, but was spilling out anyway:
"I've already known I was gay, or at least bi, for a while. So at least I was over the whole, 'Oh my god, I'm gay' thing."
"I was so scared that someone would find out. I just wanted acceptance, but I didn't know where to get it . . . and then everything was just, came at me at once."
"Ryan's and the others' attitudes about being gay just amazed me. They were so blunt and, like, and totally okay with it! I thought it must be so nice to live like that, you know, not afraid of people knowing, and do almost whatever you wanted without having fingers pointed at you wherever you went."
"I don't really know why I started prostituting. It was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. But I had this amazing feeling after Ryan and I . . . you know. I just wanted to feel like that again . . . I know it sounds selfish but . . . well, you wouldn't understand . . . and I figured that nobody else would either."
"I started avoiding everyone because I was afraid of what they would think of me. The only person that knew I was gay was Kari-chan, but even she didn't know exactly what I was doing when I went out."
I told him everything. And I mean everything. And I glanced at his face sometimes as I talked, but it remained expressionless. And in his eyes, that sea of blue remained calm. Every time. The only times his expression even slightly changed was when I told his that Ryan was my first, he paled noticeably then. I mean, who wouldn't, though? I just told him that I lost my virginity at sixteen. Bit of a shock there. Well, I told him everything except about my break-up with Ryan. He already knew most of it, after all.
I talked for a long time. When I finished I was thirsty and a bit out of breath. But what really unnerved me was that Matt was completely silent throughout the entire thing.
"So," I said awkwardly when I finally finished. "Uh, that's it. Man, have I ever been a jerk. I have so much fixing up to do." I laughed nervously, running a hand through my hair.
He was still silent.
My body stiffened and I ducked my head, a dark blush spreading across my cheeks rapidly. I had just spilled everything I've been holding on to for so long and I didn't like the feeling of being under his scrutinizing gaze. It was so quiet it was eerie. I had no idea what he was thinking. No wait, this silence can only mean one thing, I thought miserably. He was angry. Maybe even furious. He had no idea what to say because he was so disgusted with me that there were no words. Great, Kamiya, you've really screwed everything up this time.
It's all my fault. Why did I do all those things anyway? There don't seem to be any upsides to any of those rashly-decided actions . . . Oh crap, what have I done? He would never want to be with me now, not even as a friend.
I clasped my hands in front of me and leaned my elbows on my knees, and I realized I was shaking. My hands trembled against each other and I could barely keep my elbows from buckling. I had never felt so weak and small in my entire life, even if I deserved it. 'Matt has every right to be angry with you,' my brain told me. But what's done is done.
I stood up suddenly, my back to Matt. I was still shaking.
"I-I'm sorry Matt," I said in this horribly choked voice. "I understand if you hate me, and if you don't want to talk to me. I'll keep away from you . . ."
I just couldn't stand it anymore, this pressure, this feeling of weakness in front of who used to be my best friend, so I ran. Again! Man, I felt like such a coward. Matt was probably thoroughly disgusted now. I could just imagine his thoughts: "Pathetic. Keeper of Courage, yeah right . . ."
I didn't run far, though. Just to my room. Where, to my annoyance, Kari was giggling and chatting on the phone with someone.
But upon my entrance she quickly said good bye to whoever she was talking to and turned to me, smiling. "Well?"
I saw her smile disappear so fast it was scary. "Tai?"
I turned away and stared at the wall detachedly, clenching my shaking fists and gritting my teeth. I just felt so stiff. Empty. Devoid of everything that mattered. And Yama mattered. God, he mattered a lot. Yama, I'll always love you . . .
"Tai. Tai," she kept saying, tone growing more serious with each passing second. Her voice was an echo in my thoughts. How did this happen? We were supposed to be together forever . . . I was supposed to tell him everything, and then he would've forgiven me and all would be right again. I should've known. It's Matt, after all. His moods rise and lower to extreme levels at both ends of the scale, I should've known he might've reacted like this. I should've known. I should've.
Kari started waving a hand in front of my face, her expression panicky.
It's my fault. Man, it is.
I saw her run out of the room, yelling somewhere in the distance . . .
Fucked up royally. All my fault.
Why was it getting so dark? Maybe it's a solar eclipse. The moon was blocking the sun. Or maybe it was the shell building itself around my heart.
I won't hurt anymore.
Through half-closed eyes I saw an angel run in and take me in its arms before the world faded away and all became dark.
Yama . . .
crickets chirpSuddenly, random flying objects start getting hurled at LGF
Tai and Matt are looking on from a bench, watching as LGF gets chased up and down the street by the mob of angry readers
Tai: Wow, LGF, what's the matter with them all?
Matt: Yeah, I wonder why they're all chasing you after made me look so mean and then gave poor Tai a heart attack?
there's a pause, then readers start attacking again
LGF: I DID NOT GIVE TAI A FREAKING HEART ATTACK, YOU MORON . . .
Tai: And what are my sister and shudder Sora planning?
Matt: flinches as LGF gets pelted repeatedly on the head by tennis rackets and various stereo equipment Ouch, that must hurt . . . Yeah, but I bet Meems will do a good job, after you get better . . . speaking of which, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY TAI-CHAN, ANYWAY?!?!?!?!?!? is suddenly livid and starts running after LGF too
LGF: I do not need this from you right now! scribbles something on a piece of paper and Matt goes red as he looks down
Matt: stops in his tracks and looks crestfallen No . . . no, not again . . .
Tai and Jun: YAMA-CHAN!!!! YOU LOOK SOOO HOTT IN THAT CUTE APRON!!!
LGF: MWAHAHAHAHA . . . . !
Tai: Quick, Yama!! Er . . . I'm hungry!
Matt: o.O You're always hungry, Tai-chan.
Tai: stares right at Matt Come and cook me something!!
Matt: Oh right! You want me to cook because that requires us to be somewhere else! raises a finger in the air in triumph
Tai and LGF: faint anime-style
Tai: Gad, yer so slow! grabs Yama and they run off somewhere, with Jun screaming death-threats after Tai
LGF: Well, I hope you guys don't hate me. And don't worry, I didn't kill Tai, or do anything to hurt him, blah blah blah . . . but you guys will still review right? looks timid Right?
gives best impression of the patented watery-eyed, wavery-lipped puppy-dog look
Come on. I know you can't resist that. Admit it!!
What LGF --- wants you to do --- is to click the button --- and then review!! (hey hey!! It rhymes!! Ma lil rap song . . .)
TBC, next chapter coming in a few weeks this time, not a few months '' I live off reviews, so please do!!
Oh, and I was thinking about getting a professional muse to put in my notes before and after each chapter, that aren't Tai and Matt . . . cuz they don't count, they're in the fic! Matt and Tai glare from Matt's steamy apartment window I thought and thought and I can't think of a good one . . . that's not already taken by someone!! bursts into tears Waaahh . . . I want a muse . . . ::: HELP WANTED ::: sign flashes onto all the readers' screens There. I'm open to suggestions! Who do you wanna see? It could be anyone. Tell me in your reviews!!
Matt: Why do you need a new muse anyway?
Tai: Yeah, we aren't good enough for you or something?
Matt: Three's a crowd anyway.
Tai: I agree.
LGF: Shut up.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW::::::::::::::::::::::: please
Lil Gold Fishie ( )