This is long and pointless drabble about Gohan. I like Gohan, I write. Huh? You wanna stop me, eh?! You wanna fight?!

Er… sorry about that. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: DBZ isn't mine, OK!? You happy!? But I swear, Gohan WILL belong to me someday…

Oh yes, and to the people who thought I was dead, I was resurrected by Samara from the Ring. Don't ask why, or how. That's just the way things are.

The Golden Bird

The wind whistles faintly outside the unpleasant confines of my room. My pencil scratches across the paper in a fluid motion; never wavering, for if one tap, one 'scritching' noise was out of place, or the rustling of papers was not present, Kasaan would suspiciously poke her head through the doorway to scold me for daydreaming once again.

But really, do I care?

I cock my head to the side as I contemplate what to write next, my pencil tapping the paper continuously out of habit. My eyes light up and I furiously scribble down the answer. Then, I sigh in contentment, leaning back in my seat and seizing my Science book, flipping through the pages and absorbing the information robotically.

It has been like this for the past three weeks. And I have grown dreadfully bored with it. However, Kasaan seems to strictly stay with her dream of me becoming a scholar; never mind what I want. My opinion is of unimportance. So I study.

My gaze wanders to the window; the window at least thankfully stays opened, since Kasaan claims that 'my brain needs air.' Although it would be better if I were able to actually go outside for the fresh air, I am thankful that I at least have this small privilege. Because, living with Kasaan, it's a large privilege indeed.

A bird perches inconspicuously on the small tree near the window, and I am forced to momentarily abandon my textbook as I stare curiously at it. For some reason I am drawn to it. Then, noticing the sound of cutlery clinking in the kitchen wavering as Kasaan notices, I turn the page as reassurance that I am indeed studying. She happily resumes her work.

The bird is small, yet beautiful, as it spreads its miniature golden wings magnificently. It eyes me warily for a moment with its shiny, black eyes, before seeming to come to a conclusion. It hops off its perch before nesting comfortably on the windowsill.

I smile warmly, then go back to my work. I take out a fresh sheet of paper and commence my Science resume.

Scritch. Scritch.

A long, flowing trill emits from the small bird, and I am forced to laugh softly despite myself.

"Looking for fun?" I ask, although I know I must look quite foolish trying to converse with birds. "You won't find any here. It's quite dull. Besides, I need to finish my work."

The bird trills again. It sounds somehow… persistent.

This time I ignore it. Scritch. Scritch.

The bird eyes me with disdain this time, and puffs out its chest indignantly. I snigger in amusement. It spreads its scenic wings and takes off into the clear, blue sky.

I stare at the sky, somehow feeling betrayed.

Like someone left me.

I shake my head, startling myself out of my thoughts. Not this again. That was three weeks ago. This is now.

I study the page, but or some reason I can't concentrate anymore. I sigh, and reread the same paragraph, forcefully trying to make the information stick but to no avail.

A man in an orange gi with fiery, golden hair delicately lays his hand on the stomach of the android. Slowly, he turns around so that he is facing the trembling boy.

"I'm proud of you, Gohan," he says, smiling. And then he is gone.

Gohan…

Gohan…

Gohan…

"GOHAN!"

Snapped out of my daze by the loud, raucous voice, my head snaps up from its pillow – my textbook –, turning to the tyrant that towers over me.

"Gomen, Kasaan," I gulp.

She smiles sweetly at me, but her eyes portray the true demon within, ready to explode. I nervously look around to see if any frying pans are present.

"Gohan-chan." She states my name firmly, her lips set in a straight line and her eyes ablaze.

"Hai?" is all I can muster.

"How do you expect to become a great scholar, when all you do is sleep when I try to get you to study?" she inquires calmly.

"Gomenasai! I won't do it again," I plead.

"I know you won't," she says fondly.

She pauses, before sweeping down and placing a kiss on my forehead. Her hand sweeps up and smoothes my hair before whispering, "I know you'll do me proud."

Why are her eyes so sad, if she is saying such joyous words?

Then, she is quickly swept from the room, leaving me feeling strangely empty.

I know you'll do me proud.

I know you'll do me proud.

Will I? Will I do her proud? Or will I commit such a treachery as abandonment, like Tousan did?

No. How can I think such things? Tousan did it for the good of Chikyuu-sei. He wouldn't want us to be in danger once again. He was a good hero.

But a horrible father.

I stare blankly at the Science text. Where did that come from? True, he never spent much time with me – he was either dead or off training in some far galaxy, but the times we did spend together were magical.

But does that really matter?

 I don't know. I don't know at all. I'm so confused.

I grasp the English textbook and flip through the pages hungrily. Need to study…

His last words…

"I'm proud of you, Gohan."

Yet another mystery. Does changing into a bloodthirsty monster, and enacting revenge on an android whilst using the same means of cruelty count for something to be proud of? Was Tousan just lessening the pain, while he really thought I was a disgusting, sadistic creature?

I don't want to think about it anymore. My head hurts.

I lay my hand on the formerly injured shoulder. Senzu beans healed the wound, but the memory will never fade.

Vegeta.

I wonder how he is right now. Is he training, or has he stopped now that his rival is dead?

I shudder. I don't like to think of Tousan as 'dead.' But… there is no other word to describe it.

I lean back into my seat, the English text resting on the edge of the table, standing up. I turn the page, although I never really finished the last.

I remember when Vegeta apologized to me. I admit, I was surprised. For Vegeta to be so open… and for the egotistical fool to apologize – it had been strange, indeed.

In the end, with Tousan's encouraging words, I was able to defeat Cell. But this is not the end.

Many will come, whether Tousan will be here or not. Dead or alive, it makes no difference.

The bird is back, and it still trills loudly as it lands on the windowsill. Still staring at me with those ebony eyes.

I'll eventually learn to control my power. Slowly. Gradually. And perhaps then I'll be something to be proud of. I'll earn your pride, Tousan.

"I'm proud of you, Gohan."

You'll see.

"I know you'll do me proud."

I swear it.

~*~

Glossary of Japanese Words

Kasaan – Mother

Gomen – Sorry

Chan – Used at the end of a name to show affection, or for children

Hai – Yes

Tousan – Father

Chikyuu-sei – Earth

Hope you enjoyed, despite the lack of description. I think. Sorry if it sounded OOC, I haven't watched DBZ in a year and haven't written it for about the same amount of time… Review, please! Arigato (thank you)!