Disclaimer: Hana, Rain, and the boys are all owned by Kronos
Entertainment, and not necessarily by Eidos anymore. Which is good.
I'm still pissed at Eidos for cutting Fear Effect: Inferno in favor of
the crap-tacular Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness. I may never shop
This fanfic although nowhere near as ecchi as it could've been, does
contain many adult situations, and should not be read by youths or
anyone offended by fanfics yuri (female/female) in nature. (This *is*
Hana, after all.)
It Seemed Like a Good Idea...
A Fear Effect fanfic
By Kristin Renee Taylor
Part One - "Hana"
Privacy Day. The one day a month or so where Hana Tsu-Vaschel kicked
back, relaxed, and did absolutely nothing productive. She had slept
until noon. She had used up all the hot water during her forty-five
minute shower. Breakfast had been a couple of slices of toast and some
yogurt. And now, at almost two in the afternoon, she was back in bed,
wearing only a tanktop and shorts, and catching up on the virtual pile
of imported manga while listening to some old British rock music.
In fact, she was so absorbed in her manga, that Rain's sudden
appearance freaked her out completely.
"A party!" Rain shouted, slamming the door open. She grinned at Hana.
"We *need* to have a-" The grin turned into a smirk. "Did I catch you
at a bad time?"
Hana lowered the gun and tucked it back under her pillow. "Dammit,
Rain, don't you ever knock? I could've blown your head off."
Rain rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Listen, we have got to have a New
Year's Eve party."
While her heart rate returned to normal, Hana picked up her manga from
where it had fallen. "A party," she said flatly.
Rain nodded and approached the bed. "It'll be fun, Hana. You, me, and
the boys. We'll play cards, exchange gifts, drink beer, all that
stuff. We can have it here."
"Mm..." Hana murmured.
"I'll even do all the work. Well, maybe not the cooking. I guess we'll
cater. Or something... I'll figure that out later. But, the rest of
it, I'll take care of." Rain paused.
"Uh-huh..." Hana said.
Rain frowned. "Hana."
Rain snatched the manga out of Hana's hands. "Will you listen to me!?"
Hana heaved a sigh and regarded her partner. "Look, Rain, I just don't
see the point. Why can't we spend New Year's Eve together? You know,
just the two of us?"
"We did that last year."
Rain glared at her. "And I want to do something different for a
change." Her look softened. Climbing onto the bed, she straddled
Hana's waist and gazed down into her partner's eyes. "Please?"
/Oh, great. The Look./ "No, Rain."
Rain leaned closer. "I'll give you a 'special' present..."
Quickly, she tried to shore up her crumbling willpower. "Rain..."
Rain leaned closer yet, until their faces were barely an inch apart.
She shifted position. Softly, "Please, Hana? For me?"
Hana closed her eyes. She could smell vanilla. /Damn.../ "Fine..."
Rain squealed in delight and hugged Hana. She practically flew off the
bed. "Thanks!" And she was out the door.
Hana sighed and opened her eyes. "I hate it when she does that."
Part Two - "Deke"
It wasn't the best bar she had been to, that's for sure.
Clutching the slip of paper in her fist, Rain peered up through the
light drizzle at the half-lit neon sign. Once, probably when the place
was new, it had read "Death's Door." Now, thanks to whatever had
busted most of the glass tubing, it just said "eat or." Someone had
spraypainted the word "DIE" next to it.
The slum of a bar was located at the dingiest corner in the darkest
neighborhood in the most dangerous part of the southern half of Neo
Hong Kong. The building that housed it was so filthy that she knew
that if anybody ever bothered to clean all the grime off, the sudden
shift in weight was sure to make the whole place collapse.
A rat poked its head through a hole at the base of the building and
screeched at her.
Rain sighed. /Maybe this isn't worth it.../
A moment later, she was inside, praying that she didn't catch some
The main room was dark, nearly empty, and reeked of stale cigarette
smoke and old vomit. There were only a few lights on: a couple of
overhanging lamps with cracked green glass shades and the dim bulbs
behind the bar provided the only real light. And even that was
swallowed by the thick haze of bluish smoke hanging in the air. A
group of people were at the back of the room, playing either darts or
pool; she couldn't tell. A second group was gathered around a couple
of tables, talking quietly. Their rumble of voices added an odd
counterpoint to occasional shouts and jeers of the first group.
Rain couldn't tell if Deke was part of either group; all he had said
was to show up. Sighing quietly to herself, she headed across the
floor (ignoring the stickiness of the tile) to the bar.
The bartender was a huge, hulking, extremely muscular man, dressed in
a dirty T-shirt and jeans. As Rain sat on a barstool, he set down the
glass he had been wiping and glared at her. "Wha'cha want?"
"I... uh..." Rain's voice completely failed her as she realized two
things. The first was that the bartender only had one eye; a jagged
scar was all that remained of his left eye.
The second was that the bartender was a woman.
One amazingly clear green eye narrowed. "Ya got a tongue in that air
head of yours?"
Rain swallowed. "I'm, uh, looking for someone. He told me to meet him
Suddenly, an arm was around her shoulder. "No need to look any
further, babe. Here I am."
Rain glanced up at the newcomer. "Excuse me?"
The man, an average looking guy with below average breath, smiled
slyly at her. "No need to be so shy, babe." He leaned in closer. "Give
your guy a kiss." He reeked of alcohol.
Rain tried to pull away, tried to think of what Hana would do (and
castration was beginning to look better and better), when the choice
was abruptly taken from her. A large hand grabbed the back of the
man's head and slammed it into the counter. He screamed a curse and
thrashed mightily, but the stockier man holding him simply caught hold
of an arm and twisted it behind the drunkard's back.
Deke grinned at his helpless victim. "Oi don't like people that mess
with me friends, mate. Got it?
The man snarled something that sounded a lot more like a threat than
Deke slammed the man's head into the counter again. "Got it, mate?"
The man made an unintelligible noise, which seemed to satisfy Deke. He
released the drunk, who took two staggering steps and collapsed to the
Deke casually dusted off his trenchcoat, then leaned an arm on the
counter and grinned at Rain. "'ello, love. You called?"
/Nice going, Rain. Forget Deke's a psycho, why don't ya?/ "Yeah, I
did..." The drunk made a croaking sound and made as if to crawl away.
Deke kicked him in the ribs, and the man went still again. Rain's
smile felt like it was plastered to her face. "...okay... The reason
why I called was because I'm having a New Year's Eve party-"
"And you want me to bring the beer, right?" He winked at her. "Oi got
ya covered, love."
Before Rain could formulate a decent reply, the door to the bar burst
open and two scantily-clad women stormed into the bar, guns waving
through the air, and halting all other conversation. The taller of the
two women, a blonde wearing a skimpy two-piece bathing suit (and
threatening to explode out of it at any moment), pointed a
finger at Deke. "There's the bastard!" she shouted, and leveled an
impressively large rifle in Deke's direction. "Get him!"
Deke straightened. To Rain, he said, "Talk in a bit, Rain. Got me a
little business to finish." From his trenchcoat he drew his patented
dual handcannons. Grinning savagely, he charged the two women.
Rain did the smart thing and dove behind the bar. This definitely was
not worth it.
Part Three - "Glas"
"Are you *sure* you're gonna be alright?"
"I'll be fine. The bullet just grazed my arm. I've already stopped
"What the hell were you doing around Deke, anyway? Half the world is
"So I noticed," Rain said dryly. She leaned back in her chair and
finished her beer. "But, according to him, most of the bounties on him
will expire on New Year's Day... which brings me to why I'm here. I'm
having a party-"
"Oh, c'mon, Glas. You didn't even let me finish!"
"Hana and I are having a New Year's Eve party at our place. I thought
it'd be nice if we could sit around, relax, and have some fun."
"And, by 'we,' you mean..."
"You, me, Hana and Deke."
Glas gave his two-day-old stubble a scratch while he considered. "No."
Ignoring Rain's protests, he waved to their waitress and ordered a
second round of beers. He raised an eyebrow at Rain's indignant
"Why the hell not?"
"Because whenever we get together weird shit happens. And I've had it
up to here with weird shit." He indicated a level above his head.
Rain glared at him, barely growling a "thank you" to the waitress.
"What the hell is 'weird shit' supposed to mean? What sort of weird
Glas sipped his beer and smirked. "You remember what happened last New
"Well..." Rain glanced out the window, at the street below, then back
at Glas. "We all met for the first time."
"Yeah, we all 'met.' Your family, that is. Y'know, I didn't believe in
that 'evil twin' crap until yours tried to kill all of us.
"I'll admit that Mist was a little... demented."
Glas snorted rudely. "'Crazy bitch' is more like it."
"All right," Rain growled, "she was a bitch. But, she hardly qualified
as 'weird shit.'"
"She stabbed herself full of Dark Cipher and started spewing flames
out of her ass! And let's not forget that your mother is a giant pit
of darkness in the Genomic Void and that your father's the immortal
first Emperor of China!"
With a loud clatter, someone dropped several plates on the floor,
startling everyone in the cafe into a brief silence. The guilty busboy
blushed furiously and started to clean up the mess, but he kept
throwing covert glances at the booth Glas and Rain shared.
Rain, feeling a little mortified herself, blushed slightly before
glaring at Glas. "Okay," she said in a steadier tone. "I'll admit that
my family's a bit more... unusual... than most." Glas snorted
again, but this time Rain ignored it. "But that was the Past, and it's
not like any of them are going to show up again."
Glas wasn't being swayed. Rain sighed. She leaned forward and said
earnestly, "Look, Glas, I promise you that *nothing* is going to
happen during the party. There will be no zombies, no evil twins, no
Immortals, nothing remotely supernatural. Just four people sitting
around drinking beer and playing cards. Okay? Trust me."
Glas stared at her for a long, hard moment. Finally, a half-smile
cracked through the disbelieving expression. "Alright. I'm in. I'll
even bring the beer."
Briefly, Rain considered telling him that Deke was bringing the beer.
Instead, she smiled brightly at him, said "Thanks!" and called for the
She'd sort it all out later... after the party.
Part Four - "Rain"
Rain released a deep sigh of satisfaction as she surveyed the
apartment. The lighting was perfect: not glaringly bright, but not to
dark that they couldn't see what they were doing. She had enough
snacks and hors d'oeuvres to feed a small army. She had music; nothing
too loud or soft. Just some nice, cool background music. A couple of
candles gave off the cozy scent of pumpkin spice.
Everything was perfect.
"I have to admit," Hana murmured in her ear, "you've done a terrific
job. You just might pull this off, after all."
Rain smiled and leaned back, resting her head against Hana's shoulder
as Hana's hands slipped around her waist. "Was there ever a doubt?"
"Mmmm... no..." Hana brushed a trail of kisses down Rain's neck.
"Never," she whispered.
Rain moaned softly. She closed her eyes. "Hana..."
"This isn't the time. The guys'll be here soon."
Hana ran her hands lightly along Rain's abdomen, thrilling at the
touch of the body beneath the T-shirt. "So what?" She smiled
mischievously. "They can join in. Or, Glas can, at least."
"...no." Rain pulled away and turned to face her partner. "Behave,
Hana eyes gleamed. "I am behaving."
"Yes, and you're doing it rather badly." Rain smiled.
Someone pounded on the door to the apartment.
Rain glanced meaningfully at Hana. "Well?"
Hana sighed and folded her arms. "Fine. But you owe me for this."
Rain reached up and kissed the tip of Hana's nose. "Good girl." She
hurried to the door, calling over shoulder. "I'll pay you back later.
She touched the door handle- "Hold your horses, I'm coming!"
-And leaped back, out of the way, as the door was flung out of her
grasp and veritable tide of people flooded in, shouting and hooting
raucously. Rain stared at them at all in a mild state of shock;
several of the people were from Deke's bar.
Deke himself materialized an instant later, dropping a six-pack of
beer into Rain's arms, who was too startled to resist. He grinned at
her. "Oi took the liberty of inviting a few of me mates. You don't
mind, do ya?" And then he was gone, lost in the swirl of bodies. She
heard him shout, "Alright! Let's get this party started! Whoo!"
As the last few people trailed in (including two certain, scantily-
clad female bounty hunters), Rain slowly left her position by
the door. Hana soon joined her. She looked amused. "That was...
"See, this is why you don't invite Deke to a party."
The two women turned to see Glas leaning in the doorway, a case of
beer at his feet.
Something fell with a loud, probably destructive, crash. Someone
cranked the radio up and started blaring heavy metal. The trio winced
Hana and Glas glared at Rain and said, in much the same tone of voice,
"Just the four of us, huh?"
Rain turned her back on them and growled, "Shut up."
Part Five - "A New Year"
Hana squeezed out onto the balcony. She was badly in need of fresh
air, and a few moments away from Deke's singing. How that man had
managed to sneak a karaoke machine into the place, let alone get it
connected to the television without Rain noticing was a miracle. But
nothing on Earth could have saved Deke's voice. He was beyond
horrible; his singing almost made Hana want to kill him.
She felt bad for Rain, too. Rain had spent hours working on the
apartment, getting everything just right, and in a matter of minutes
all of her work had been trashed completely. Hana was seriously
considering just getting another apartment rather than clean the mess
Deke and his friends would be leaving behind.
Hana took a deep breath, grateful for the cool air after the press of
warm bodies. All she had to do was survive for a few more minutes,
then it would be New Year's Day, and they could kick everyone out and
go to bed for a week.
"Nice night," Glas said.
Hana smiled. So, she hadn't been the only person to think of escaping.
"Yeah." The extra beer had been stored out on the balcony, where it
was cooler. Hana dug out a couple of cans and tossed one to Glas. She
joined him by the balcony edge, leaning against the railing. She
smiled up at him. "Having fun?"
Glas returned her smile. "You know what? I think I am."
"Good. You want to help clean up afterwards?"
Glas gave her a wry glance. "I'm not having that much fun."
"You sure? You know how Rain and I get when we're alone."
"Quite sure, thanks." He popped the tab on can. "Where is Rain,
Hana smirked and drank some of her beer. "Last I saw she was fending
off three of Deke's Aussie pals with a butcher knife and screaming
something about free castrations. I thought it best to leave her
alone." At Glas' look, Hana shrugged. "Hey, I only love her. I don't
claim to understand her."
Glas rolled his eyes. Then, he scowled comically. "Damn. I forgot the
"Yeah, something Rain said. Exchanging gifts or something."
Hana gazed out over the city, admiring the lights of Neo-Hong Kong.
"It's no big deal. Rain and I usually exchange gifts on New Year's. Of
course, I didn't think anyone would show up, so I didn't get one for
"What about Deke?"
Hana rolled her eyes and turned to glance inside the apartment. "After
this stunt? There's no way he's getting a-"
Glas kissed her.
Hana's eyes closed instinctively. Glas' fingers brushed her cheek,
tracing a line of heat along her jaw. She rested a hand against the
back of his head, pulling him closer, briefly letting her mind indulge
in what could have been.
A timeless interval later, she pulled away slightly. He looked
embarrassed, and made no move to stop her. He gave her a sheepish
smile. "Sorry. I guess I've been drinking too much..."
"We both have," Hana said. She kissed him again, briefly, and smiled.
"Happy New Year, Royce."
From inside came sudden shouting. The countdown was starting.
Hana took a step back, breathing in the night air, and freeing herself
of Glas' scent. "I should find Rain." She looked at Glas. "Coming?"
"No. I'm going to stay out here. Clear my head out a bit."
Hana smiled at him again, and slipped back inside.
Part Six - "Resolution"
A loud sigh was heard in the dark apartment. "I can't believe we're
finally done. What time is? Gods... nearly five in the morning."
"I guess it could've been worse. True, the stereo's wrecked, but at
least the television is still intact. And we needed new dishes
"And I will say this about Deke's friends: they definitely know how to
hold their puke. I just wish they hadn't started that fist fight and
gotten all that blood everywhere."
"Our landlord's gonna kill us."
"Sorry," came the tired reply, "I must've dozed off."
"Oh... sorry." A minute of silence, then. "I still haven't given you
your present. Do you want it now?"
A yawn and a stretch. "Sure. What is it?"
"What..? Oh." And then, "Oh!"
Several more minutes of silence passed, punctuated by soft giggles and
ecstatic moans and breathy sighs.
Neither woman noticed the thin vertical line of red light appear in
the air behind the couch. Nor did they notice the line slowly widen
into a portal, its light illuminating everything in its crimson glow.
Nor did they notice the man that stepped out, into the apartment
But, he noticed them.
"RAIN!" Bellowed the voice of Qin Zhandi, first emperor of China.
Rain shot upright. "Dad?"
"'Dad?'" Hana said, following her up. Her eyes widened. "Emperor
Qin's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You!"
Rain glanced down. "Hana!"
Hana jerked her hands out from beneath Rain's shirt.
"Dad, it's not what you think. Okay, it *is* what you think, but I can
Hana glared at Rain. "You never told him?!" She hissed incredulously.
Rain hissed back, "This isn't exactly the kind of thing you tell your
father on the spur of the moment!"
"What's so hard about it? Just say, 'Dad, I'm a lesbian and I've been
living with that goddess you met last year.'"
"Wait a minute. Since when were *you* a goddess?"
"Hey, *I* have the seal, remember? That makes me a goddess."
"You mean you never got rid of it? Gods, Hana, every divine-wannabe in
the world's going to be after that thing. We've got to get rid of it!"
"I didn't make you get rid of that cursed Japanese sword, did I?"
"Hana, this is different. This is-"
Hana and Rain froze mid-shout, and turned slowly to face the wrath of
Hana swallowed slowly. "I guess now's a bad time to mention that Glas
might be in love with me, huh?"
"A very bad time," Rain said.
"Oh. We're in deep shit, aren't we?"
Send Comments & Criticisms to firstname.lastname@example.org. Feedback feeds me.
Kristin Renee Taylor - Bad Gal Extraordinare
December 31, 2003