The Return of The Vacuum Cleaner
Part VII
The Beginning

On the after evening of the seventy third day of hyper travel, many of the four crew were beginning to feel unchuffed. In a word, they were mostly feeling like their forward brains were at the back of their partly shattered skulls. The crew (in order of importance from bottom to top) were a strangely unsophisticated bunch of people.
Sir George Smile-a-lot (also known as George Smillie), who had only joined the crew because he was a serial killer who had to come or face death in a combustion chamber. He was a strangely different person from most knights. He was knighted because he "prevented a man from murder but when he wasn't looking the man killed the bloke anyway then randomly died from spontaneous combustion". The risk he had taken from stopping the man then while waiting for the police, unfortunately letting the man strike the 'bloke' who was actually a female of about 16 years.
Next we have the good Doctor Green, who usually looked extremely purple. The captain had hired this Doctor because of the friendship that had bonded the two at the war monastery at the time of the EC11 law. The Doctor had become a Doctor only because of his height (3 foot 2 inches). He was an excellent fighter and war monger. He was better at that that surgery which is why be became a surgeon on the BPS Titan.
After him, we have Gun Lieutenant William Robertson. A man who has no feeling apart from those he has of the beautiful woman he had left behind on Uranus sector 296495000. This man had learn the extremely difficult expertise needed to handle the unstable weapon; Maxwell Obliterator (MWLOB) This has the same power as a 100,000,000,000 Kiloton nuclear weapon, but those don't exist anymore because of the laws passed 5000 years before in the year 15368. This man had been born on the 11th moon of Jupiter and had moved away from that system at the age of two.
Finally we come to the captain of the BPS Titan, Oliver Burns. This man had ten years qualification as captain. He Joined at the age of five and randomly moved straight up to the rank of captain on the first day. Because of his age, he couldn't take command of the BPS Titan for another three years. The ship itself is four Milo metres (three miles) from the bridge (directly at the front) to the engine room (directly at the back). Captain Burns was a headstrong man who easily knew what an enemy was up to (but the lieutenant was a bit better, he could read the enemy captains mind basically). The captain was born of the great farmer who brought peace and sanctity to Uranus sector 296495000's farms.
The ship was designed to hold 2100 crew, but they mutinied and were all jettisoned into space, which left these four. The course for BPS Titan was in the Milky Way region, they were heading for the sun! This was currently being dismantled by a black hole. They had to see if anything else was also adding to the Milky Way's source of light and heat.
"Captain, shall we begin to slow our decent from hyper travel?"
"Yes Sir Smile-a-lot! Lieutenant, prepare to engage the reverse engines and slow our decent to 20,000 Milo Metres a second." The captain replied to the question.
"Aye captain, reverse engines waiting for power to be engaged!"
"Engage power lieutenant, half a million gallons of soaked waste a minute if you please."
"Sir, unidentified object coming across our starboard side in 10 seconds!" The Doctor hurriedly said as he saw the object on the radar screen.
"Distance Dr Green?" the captain asked him.
"Approximately 16 miles away, 16.2 to be exact!"
"Thank you Doctor. Gentlemen, say if you see an object. Lieutenant Robertson, be ready at your post if they seem hostile!"
"Aye sir!" Robertson replied.
"Sir, its tiny, half a Milo Metre in size!" Dr Green shouted with a hint of joy in his voice.
"Good! They are no threat. Lieutenant, you may stand down from your post!"
"They would be no threat is there wasn't over 100 of them" George said calmly.
"What on Uranus do you mean? Good God! Lieutenant, belay the last order!" The captain said in a distressed voice.
There were over 100 of them. They were tiny and have very little fire power, but there were so many of them!
"Lieutenant, commence firing!" shouted the captain across the room.
The first missile fired from the MT (Missile Torpedo) bay. It hit the first ship in the centre and tore through the iron skin which was weak and feeble and then imploded to give a mass of fire and a loud bang which consumed the ship and turned it to space dust in a few seconds. The enemy crafts around them began to fire upon them.
"Sir, enemy craft has jammed the firing mechanism!"
"Type?"
"Strawberry!"
"Damn! That stuff is only good for one thing and that's toast!"
"Suggest use of cannon?"
"Make it so Lieutenant!"
"Aye sir! Cannon set up."
"Aim for the centre of the squadron lieutenant!"
"Cannon ready to fire in to centre of squadron sir!"
"FIRE!"
The shell flew through space at 600,000 Milo Metres as second. BANG! The shell exploded into 100's of sections, they exploded into 100's more, and they exploded into 100's more sections. This happened for another ten minutes.
"Sir the shockwave! We've lost control! We're heading for the sun!
"Prepare to abandon ship!" The captain ordered.
"It's no use! The escape pod is half way down the escape tunnel and jammed! There's no escape!" George shouted in a panicking voice.
"We've been caught up in the black holes suction! We are going down!

To Be Continued