All Mixed Up

By Heather Martin

Rating- PG13

Summary- Buffy is getting married and everyone knows it is a mistake.

Disclaimer- Joss Whedon owns BTVS

Spoilers- After Chosen

Pairings- Come on, you can guess who the main couple is. If not, you don't know me at all. Other pairings are W/K (I don't totally hate them, just don't jump up and down for them) and X/ surprise

Part- 1/1

Angel was in his office when he found out. He scanned over his most recent case, trying to decide the best course of action. The harmless rays of the sun filtered through the window, bathing him in illumination. He was content. The only thing he needed was his morning coffee. Where was Harmony?

The vampire reached over and pressed a button. "Harmony, where is my coffee?"

"Coming," came a feminine reply.

A moment later the door opened to admit a smiling blonde. She wore a flowered skirt and pink top. She carried a steaming mug, which she sat down in front of Angel. Then she added an envelope to the desk.

"Sorry."

Angel grabbed his coffee. "That's all right. You don't have to be right on the dot all the time."

"Not that," Harmony clarified. "Your mail."

He spotted the envelope. He examined it, seeing no return address.

"It got buried under some papers. Ooops." She let out a small giggle. "I hope it isn't important."

With that, Harmony quickly fled the room.

Angel stared at the marks displayed on the white packet. He'd recognize that handwriting anywhere. Involuntarily, he took in a breath. With fumbling hands, he tore it open.

He took out the card. After seeing what it had to offer he dropped it. He gazed blankly across the room.

Two hours later, Angel was still in the same position. He had reread the card at least a dozen times, but it always said the same thing. It couldn't be. It just simply was impossible.

Just then Gunn came walking into the room. "Hey man," he greeted.

The dark-skinned man plopped down in a chair that faced his friend. He slumped down, making himself comfortable.

"Geez, Angel, you look awful," Gunn commented. "Did you get any sleep in the last twenty-four hours."

Angel didn't speak. Instead he passed the card over.

Gunn looked the card over. "Wow," he said. "An invitation to Buffy Summers' and . . ."

Angel wouldn't let him get any further. "Don't say it!"

Gunn put the card down. "That's harsh. I'm sorry."

"It isn't that she is getting married," Angel confessed. "I want her to be happy. She deserves to have children and a normal life. I could never give her that. But. . . I can't let her be with 'him'."

"Is he an archenemy or something? Did he try to stake you once?"

"Actually yes. But that isn't why."

Confused, Gunn rose an eyebrow. "Then what is the reason, bro?"

"She doesn't love him," Angel simply stated.

************************

Kennedy sat on the bed, watching her girlfriend get dressed. She would have been enjoying the show if her mind wasn't so occupied.

"Will . . .?" Kennedy began.

Willow finished buttoning her skirt. "Yeah, baby?"

The dark-haired woman sighed. "If I say something you promise you won't get mad?"

Willow halted her fingers. She frowned. "What?"

"I mean, I don't want to upset you. But . . ." Her voice was full of uncertainty.

The witch came over, settling herself down beside the other female. She took Kennedy's hands in her own.

"You can tell me anything."

"I think Buffy is making a terrible mistake."

There, she'd said it.

Willow stared at Kennedy for a long moment. Then she pulled away.

Kennedy closed her eyes. "I'm sorry. I just couldn't keep it in any longer."

There was a span of silence.

"Please don't be angry. I don't . . ."

"I know," Willow interrupted.

"Huh?"

"I know," Willow repeated. "I know."

*************************

Spike was napping on a Wolfram and Hart employee's couch. Or at least he was 'trying' to. The sunlight was right in his eyes. He wished he knew which button to push in order to block it out.

God, he missed the crypt. That was how a vampire should live. Dark, musty, and cold.

All of a sudden the door burst open. Spike abruptly sat up.

"Bloody hell, can't a vamp get any shut-eye in this place!?" he complained.

Angel stood there, looking at his grandchilde darkly. Which wasn't unlike any other time he looked at him.

"I've been searching for you all over, Spike," Angel told him.

Spike's blue eyes widened. "Really?" He smirked. "And why would the all high and mighty be huntin for lil ol me for?"

"Cut the shit, Spike." He shoved something at him. "Read that."

"And why should I?"

"It's from Buffy."

Time stood still. Spike's nose flared. He shut his eyes, struggling to compose himself. Finally, he opened his eyes again, clenching his jaw.

Spike handed the card back over. "I'm not interested. You can have it back."

The bleached-blonde lay back down on the cushions. He placed his arms under his head.

Angel hovered over him. "You 'really' need to read this."

"I'm through with the slayer," Spike told him. "Her business is none of mine."

"She's getting married, Spike."

Seconds turned into minutes. Neither spoke or moved. After who knows how long, Spike shifted, turning his back on Angel.

"Spike?"

"Leave me alone," Spike growled.

"Spike, we need to stop her."

"No we don't, peaches."

"Spike . . ." Angel reached out and took his shoulder. He was about to roll Spike over when the blonde pushed him away. He hadn't expected that, and went staggering into a chair.

"Leave well enough alone! She's better off without us mucking up her life," Spike informed.

"No, Spike, she really isn't. She's making a terrible decision."

"And it is her decision to make."

Spike rested his head against the arm of the couch. He closed his eyes, begging for slumber to come.

"You don't even want to know who the lucky guy is?"

"No," Spike replied.

"Fine! You can stay here and do nothing. But I have to go after her."

Angel threw the card at Spike. It hit the vampire and then fell to the blue carpet.

Angel stormed out of the room.

A few minutes went by. Maybe ten.

The card taunted Spike. He suddenly got up and grabbed the damned thing. He crumpled it up, and then tossed it into the trash.

***********************

Buffy sorted through her make-up. She should have done this sooner, but she had been worrying about other things. Everything about the wedding had been done haphazardly. She didn't care how it was done as long as it was done.

Which was wrong. She knew that. But what other choice did she have?

There was a tap on the door.

"Yeah?" Buffy called.

"It's me. May I come in?"

"Of course."

The door opened. Giles stepped in. He gave her a small smile.

"Hey," Buffy greeted.

"Hello."

They didn't say anything more for a while.

Buffy held up a lipstick. "Passion pink or harlot red?" She let out a humorless laugh. "Oh god, neither seem right."

Giles took his glasses off. He went on to clean the lenses. "Buffy . . ."

"Don't!" Buffy warned. "Just don't! I've already heard it from Dawn. And even Willow and Kennedy this morning. Xander is the only one who understands."

The middle-aged man put his frames back on. He peered at his sergeant daughter with concern.

"Buffy, I think you are making a grave mistake."

She turned away. She fingered her collection of eye-shadow.

"There are other options."

That did it. The dam broke. Buffy began to sob uncontrollably. She put her face in her hands, her entire body shaking.

Giles rushed over to her. He encased the young woman in his arms.

"Oh, Buffy," he whispered.

"There aren't any other options. I have to do this. I can't go through this alone. I need somebody," the slayer choked out.

"You are not alone. We are all here for you. You don't have to go through with this. It is rash and . . ."

Buffy pulled away. She dried her eyes. She sat up tall and confident.

"It's my decision."

She held up the eye-shadows. "Blue or silver?"

"How about green?" Giles suggested in defeat.

Buffy forced a grin. "Green it is."

*************************

Spike paced the room. Every time he passed the trashcan he'd glance at it and then turned away.

He was breathing hard. If his heart beat it would have broke his chest.

His hands formed fists. Oh great, why did he have to think that? It brought up memories. He buried the sodding love-sick tune away.

Angel hadn't shut the door on his way out. So when Fred came down the hall she spotted Spike.

The cute scientist stepped into the office. "Oh, Spike, hi."

Spike stopped. He ran a hand through his slicked-back locks.

"How ya doin, pet?" he inquired.

"Not bad," she answered. She held up a file. "Where's Angel? I have the results from that demon blood we discovered last week."

"Cleveland. Or Europe." His face didn't change as he said this.

"What?" Fred was totally confused.

"Tall dark and broody's run off."

"Why?"

She couldn't comprehend why Angel would leave without informing any of them. It wasn't like him.

"He's going to find his one true love."

Shock came over Fred. "Buffy?"

"A prize for the scientist. Yeah, Buffy is apparently getting married."

Fred studied the vampire. "Spike, I'm sorry. This must be awful for you."

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter." He reached into his duster and took out a box of cigarettes. He lit one, popping it into his mouth. He didn't smoke much anymore, but times like these, his dead body hummed for nicotine.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" she asked incredulously.

"Buffy isn't a part of my life anymore. I've moved on."

Fred met his eyes. "Have you?"

"What is that supposed to mean!?"

She shook her head. "Nothing."

They just stood there for a long time. Eventually, Fred cleared her throat.

"I just want to say something before I leave. And if you say no, then I agree. You've really moved on."

Spike let out a puff of smoke. He took care in keeping it away from his friend.

"Have at it," Spike said.

"What if Angel makes it there in time? What if he pours his heart out to Buffy? He sweeps her off her feet, declaring his undying love. And Buffy goes for it. She falls into his arms and dumps whoever she is planning on marrying." She challenged him with her gaze. "Would you remain unaffected? Could you stand back and let that happen?"

Spike didn't reply.

"That's all I'm going to say. See you later, Spike." She headed for the door. Before going out she stopped to add, "Maybe."

It didn't take long for Spike to move. He took his cigarette and crushed it out on the top of the desk. Then she fished his hand into the trashcan. The wrinkled card met his searching fingers, and he clamped them around it.

He took it out, smoothing out the creases. There were two wedding bells on the front. The words You are Invited jumped out at him in gold letters. He opened the card and read what was inside.

Buffy Summers and Xander Harris wish for you to attend

That was as far as he got. He stuffed the retched invitation into the pocket of his coat. He rushed out of the office as fast as his vampiric ability would allow.

************************

Willow straightened Xander's tie. "There," she proclaimed.

She stepped back, letting her best friend get a good look at himself. He eyed himself in the mirror, having to admit he looked good. Okay, he could stand to lose a couple pounds, but he wasn't bad. The black suit fit perfectly, and his freshly-trimmed hair was combed around his face just right.

Xander smiled. Why, who is that handsome man staring back at me?

"You look good," Willow complimented.

"Thanks, Will. So do you."

The red-head was wearing blue. It looked a whole lot better than Anya's green-ruffled dresses.

"Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what you are doing?"

He took in a deep breath. "Yeah, Willow. I know what I'm doing."

"Do you- Do you love her?"

He spun to face her. "Of course."

"Ok, let me rephrase that. Are you in love with her?"

Xander's face paled. "You want the truth?"

She used her resolve face. "Yes, mister, I want the truth. No lying allowed between best friends."

He lowered his good eye.

"Yeah," he admitted. "I'm in love with her."

That hadn't been the answer Willow had expected. She was so stunned she couldn't respond.

"But she doesn't feel the same way." He paused. "And that's ok."

"No, Xander," Willow protested. "It really isn't! Marriage is about love. The deep, can't hardly think love. The love that consumes you so much it hurts."

Xander stared at the mirror again. "Sometimes it isn't, Will."

*************************

Dawn finished pinning up Buffy's hair. It was beautiful. A few tendrils hung free, molding around her sister's face.

"You're gorgeous," Dawn remarked.

"I don't look fat?" Buffy asked.

Dawn wanted to laugh at her absurdity. "You will 'never' be fat, Buffy."

Buffy shifted from side-to-side with scrutiny. "You sure?"

"Yes, Buffy," Dawn said in exasperation.

"Are you sure about this? You can still back out."

Buffy turned around. She hugged her younger sibling. "It's okay, Dawnie. Everything is okay."

Dawn knew she was lying. Buffy lied a lot. Especially to herself.

"Why are you doing this? Buffy, why?"

A couple months ago

Xander had woken up from a dream. A good dream. And bad dream. It depended on your perspective.

It had been so long since he had seen her face. So full of energy and spirit. He loved that face. He loved that girl.

Tears ran down his face. He didn't bother to wipe them away.

He stared up at the ceiling. And he talked to her. He did that often. It wasn't that he was crazy or anything. He knew she wasn't there. But he felt close to her when he did.

A knock entered his ears. He cleared his face, but he was sure that whoever it was would be able to see redness in his eyes. Oh well. He didn't give a damn.

He made his way to the door and swung it open. He came face-to-face with a broken slayer. She fell into his arms and cried.

He held her close, bringing her inside and shutting the door. He had thought he had collapsed from grief. It was nothing compared to what Buffy was going through.

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

He already knew. Spike. It had to be about Spike. Or so he thought.

"Just hold me," she pleaded.

And he did.

And then she kissed him. Not a friend-kiss. Not even the hello-kiss she'd given Angel. This was a kiss full of passion and fire. A kiss she had given Spike when they were banging each other's brains out. This kiss was about forgetting and feeling something besides the pain.

They broke apart, both of them panting.

"Touch me, Xander," she commanded.

She took his hand and placed it on her breast.

"Touch me all over."

And he did.

***********************

"Why?" Dawn reiterated.

"Because I need someone. I need someone to help me be strong," Buffy confessed.

The two girls hugged.

**********************

Spike ran every stop-sign. He broke every speed limit. He even out ran a couple police cars.

Cleveland. The card said she was to be married under the full-moon outside, in Giles's backyard. He had to make it to Cleveland before Buffy married the whelp.

Or decided to get back with the poof.

***********************

Angel made it there first. He hadn't broken every law imaginable, but he had set out a good while before Spike did.

He arrived just as the minister was saying, "If there are any objections as to why these two shouldn't be wed, declare them now or forever hold your peace."

Angel stormed down the aisle. There wasn't many people seated. And they were mostly women.

There was the sound of someone crying in the audience. A blond-haired boy.

"This is so sweet. I love weddings," the boy cried.

A dark-haired woman reached out and patted his back. "It's okay, Andrew."

"I know. These are happy tears."

"Buffy, what the hell do you think you are doing!?"

All eyes were focused on him. Most of them were filled with relief.

"Angel, what are you doing here?"

"I was invited."

"Not to ruin it."

He saw agony in her eyes. He almost regretted his actions. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe she really did love Xander.

But Xander was Xander. And Buffy couldn't possibly love Xander. Not in the marriage kind of way.

"Why are you doing this, Buffy?"

Buffy stared at him hard. And then she gestured to her stomach. He hadn't noticed it until now. His entire concentration had been on stopping the ritual.

Gaping, he muttered, "Buff . . ."

"My baby needs a father," she blurted. "And I only have a couple days to give her one."

It looked it to. She was huge. Her small frame surely flaunted the bulge.

Nothing made sense anymore. His mind was a jumbled mess. He glanced around, taking in the lawn. Willow and Dawn stood next to each other. They were exchanging worried looks. Giles stood to the side, clearing the one who was giving Buffy away. The minister had a stricken expression on his face. There were blue roses, and punch and cake on a table. And then Angel saw Xander. And everything clicked.

Angel rushed at the man. He tackled him to the ground, raining blows.

"You bastard!" Never before had Angel sounded so furious. "How dare you knock up Buffy!"

Xander tried to defend himself, but it was no use.

If it wasn't for Buffy, Xander would have ended up a bloody pulp. She pried the souled vamp off her groom. A few slayers rose from the audience to help restrain him.

Angel relented. "Buffy, this is wrong. This is all wrong."

"I know that!" she shouted. "I so know that! I'm not supposed to be with Xander. I'm supposed to be . . ."

Just then the roaring of an engine could be heard. A red sports car ripped across the lawn. It knocked down a few decorations on its way in. It came to a park, a black-cladded figure hopping out.

"The wedding is bleeding over!"

Buffy swayed. Willow caught the slayer before she dropped.

"Spike?" Dawn said in disbelief, her voice cracking.

Spike swaggered up to Buffy in all his glory. She stared at him, memorizing his features. It couldn't be Spike. Black jeans. Check. Black shirt. Check. Leather duster. Check. Bleached hair. Check. Blue eyes. Double check. Hollow cheekbones. Check. Oh god, it was Spike!

Spike cupped Buffy's cheek. "Pet, what are you doing?"

He stepped back.

Spike took in his whole reason for being. She was gorgeous. Her hair was golden and shined in the moonlight. Her green eyes shimmered. Her flowing white dress clung to her thin form . . . Wait a sec . . .

Fire coursed through his veins. Red passed over his vision.

He turned around, aiming right for Xander Harris's nose.

"Fucking, wanker!"

Xander held his nose, staring at Spike. There wasn't malice in the young man's expression, like there used to be in the past. Instead his gaze was calm with acceptance.

Xander moved his hand away. Blood ran from his nostril.

"Hey there, Spike. Never thought I'd see you again."

Was that a friendly tone? Spike couldn't believe it. He threw another punch.

"And I hoped you never would," Spike spat.

He was about to raise his fist again when someone grabbed it.

"Stop it, Spike, you don't know what you are doing."

"Let go, Faith. I don't want to fight you."

"If that is what it takes to get you to stop I'm game."

The bleached vampire measured her up. She meant it.

"All right, slayer, let's have at it."

Faith shook her head. "Fine. You asked for it."

Before either could start hitting or kicking, there was a shriek.

"Oh God!"

Everyone's attention fell on Buffy.

"What, what is it?" Dawn asked.

Water cascaded down the slayer's cheeks. "My water just broke."

There was silence. The whole gang froze.

"Repeat that," Dawn said after a moment.

"My water broke." She clutched her rounded belly.

"But you aren't due until next week."

"I know," Buffy whispered. She hung her head. "I started having contractions a while ago. I thought there was still time to get the wedding over with."

Spike didn't think. All he could comprehend was that Buffy was in distress. He took action by swooping her up. He carried her off toward the convertible he had parked nearby.

The guests watched as both blondes drove away.

"What just happened?" Willow asked.

"I think Buffy and Spike just left for the hospital," Dawn clarified.

***************************

The nurses wouldn't let Spike in because he wasn't family. Damned hospital regulation.

"You can see her after the birth," a pretty, curly-haired woman told him.

Dimmitt. He should put on his game face and . . .

Angel sat down beside him.

"So, the rest of you made it then?" Spike questioned dryly.

"Yeah."

"Is Harris in there with her?" The whelp's name made him want to heave.

"Yeah."

At least she wasn't alone, Spike thought. He gripped the green chair's arms. Still, it didn't comfort him.

***********************

Buffy was progressing fast. That was fine with her. She was ready to get this over with.

She gripped the bed railing as another pain ripped through her. "Ahhh!"

The metal barrier came right off.

"Ooops, crappy workmanship," Buffy commented.

Xander chuckled. "Hurts, huh?"

"You don't even know."

She breathed, a break coming between contractions.

Buffy reached for Xander's hand. "Xan . . ."

"I know, Buffy."

"Let me say it anyway."

"Okay."

She inhaled deeply. "I can't marry you."

He nodded in acceptance.

"Will you get Spike?"

"Of course," he said to her request. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead before exiting the room.

***********************

Spike got to his feet when he saw Xander approaching.

"You have some nerve. . ."

"Buffy wants you," Xander requested.

Spike was silenced. His eyes were wide and incredulous.

"The-The nurses won't let me in. I'm not family."

"You belong in there Spike. I don't. Buffy'll take care of the nurses if they throw a fuss. Room 123, maternity. It's on second floor."

After saying that, Xander walked off.

Spike made it to Buffy's room after what seemed like an eternity. He stood outside, listening. He heard some intense breathing and a few grunts. He didn't enter until he heard her scream.

Rushing in, he saw the slayer gripping the sheets in her fists. When she saw him, she let go and reached out for him.

"Spike?" she cried. "Spike? Spike?"

He had never heard her so weak and desperate.

Hesitantly, he went to her side. She grabbed him, pulling him down. Both arms went around him.

"Spike. Spike. Spike." She buried her face in his neck, soaking his skin.

His name was a mantra, sacred and full of longing.

He stroked her matted hair. "Buffy?"

She moved. Her mouth crushed to his, taking in all she could. Her tongue prodded and tasted, stroked and swirled. She moaned with pleasure. All of a sudden her moan turned to one of pain.

They broke away. She clenched his hand as her body got ready for active labor.

"Are you all right, luv?"

She nodded. She was all right now. She was with him.

**********************

Xander moved down the hall in a trance. He felt bereft and cold.

Then he saw Faith and he stopped. She was by the pop-machine. She was about to insert a quarter when she spotted him.

"Hey, how you doin?" she asked.

He took her arm and dragged her through the hospital.

"Come with me," Xander commanded.

She didn't protest. She let him lead her through the building until they came to a door. He pushed her inside.

Xander switched on the light and mops, brooms, buckets, and cleaning supplies came into view.

"Um, Xander, this is a janitor closet," she said.

"I know."

He pinned her to the wall. His hand ran up and down her body, feeling every curve. He began to take hold of her dress and pull it up when she pushed him away. The force wasn't full of slayer strength. It was a tiny fling.

"Xander, this is wrong," Faith said. "I'm not your fuck-toy."

Xander closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

"I don't want you to be."

"We can't do this in a broom closet. I'm above that now."

Faith took his hand. She led him out of the closet.

"Let's go home," she told him.

They walked, hand-in-hand, side-by-side, out the exit and toward home.

*************************

Buffy pushed. She could feel her baby coming. It hurt like hell. And yet, it was an amazing experience. She was about to bring something into the world. Something warm, glowing, and alive.

Spike stroked the side of her face. "You're doing great."

And Buffy wanted to tell him then. What he meant to her. What he was to her. But another contraction hit.

"Are you sure you don't want Xander here for this?" It was hard for him to get the words out.

"You- dope," she managed to get out.

"What?"

Buffy met his blue orbs. "I love you, Spike. Please believe me."

His eyes burned. "I love you too, Buffy."

A lot of things happened in the next minute. Buffy broke Spike's hand. A baby cried. Buffy collapsed against the pillows, exhausted and looking beautiful. The baby was washed and wrapped in a pink blanket. The baby was placed in Buffy's arms. The baby looked at Spike, and blue met blue.

And Spike knew.

The Night Before the Battle With the First

"Buffy, is something wrong?" Spike looked at her intently.

"No." There was a beat. "Yeah. I just realized something. Something that really never occurred to me before. We're going to win."

Buffy never told him that two things occurred to her right then. One was there victory, yes. But the other had more impact. That was when she truly knew she loved him.

"We're going to win."

Which meant they had a future. She had a future with him.

Buffy tenderly pressed her lips to his. She pulled back to ask for permission to continue.

"Can we try again?" she asked.

He answered her by kissing her back.

***********************

"I was going to name her Joan." Buffy laughed. "I know, I know. But I like that name. Except . . . I'm not going to anymore. I'm going to name her Destiny."

She passed the baby over to Spike.

"Destiny, meet your daddy."

Spike cried. He never cried in public. Except once before. And this time.

"We're meant to be," Buffy declared. "We're alive. Well, mostly. And we're together. And-And look what we made together."

The triad huddled together. Buffy and Spike's tears mingled.

************************

The whole hospital heard the yell.

"I have a daughter!"

It was full of triumph and pride. It hit Angel like a knife through the heart. No, a stake.

Angel got up and left.

*************************

Dawn loitered outside the room. She was unsure about going in.

The door cracked open. Spike peeked out and smiled at her. She smiled back.

"Come in," he said in greeting. "But be quiet."

The teen entered, taking in the display on the bed. Buffy was hugging Destiny to her, both of them in slumber.

"Aw, the baby is so cute," Dawn remarked.

"They both are."

Spike gazed at his girls with love. Then he turned back to Dawn, showing the love he felt for her as well.

Dawn rushed at him. She threw her arms around his neck.

"I missed you so much. Don't leave. Please don't leave again," she begged him.

"Never," he declared.

Spike took her arm and led her to the bed. "Come meet the new addition to our family."

***********************

Dawn left shortly after to go boast about her niece. She ran into Andrew. He was crying happy tears.

"Aw, this is more beautiful than the wedding. I just love babies."

"Come on, Andrew."

Spike crawled into bed, next to Buffy. He adjusted them so that the baby was nestled between them. His little girl stirred, burrowing into both parents, but she didn't wake.

Spike lay back and shut his eyes. It wasn't long before he got that rest he had been deprived of before.

____________________________________________

The End!

Wow, that took me 3 ½ hours to write. And I didn't stop. Wow!

This idea came to me this morning while I was reading The Prophecy by Witchiepoo (great story). I got to the wedding and wondered, what if Buffy was going to marry Xander? And hence, this came into creation. I'm very pleased with it. Hope you enjoyed it as well. And I know Buffy pregnancy stories are so cliché, but I really couldn't help it. I needed a really good reason for why she would marry Xander.