This time with the Final Fantasy VII CAST! AND SHOOPUF DUDE!

One day, Hayley got really bored and tired of writing her very serious and boring novel. She wanted to keep writing the novel, but she also needed something to stupid to write about. So she decided she would go ahead and write a really stupid and crappy piece of dung… BUT MOCK PEOPLE BY USING COPYWRIGHTED CHARACTERS! And so, that, as that crazy dude from FF10 says, is that.

Random Adventures with the Final Fantasy VII Cast and Shoopuf Dude!

Chapter… 0


Well, one day the final fantasy seven cast and Shoopuf dude were having fun just cruising around in their airship like stupid people that think flying around the world in an airship is fun. They didn't really know where they were going or what they were supposed to do, since Hayley had stopped the game RIGHT AT DISK 3 after getting the Knights of the Round Summon and all their ultimate weapons. In fact, Hayley had went so far as to act like they were going to go beat Sephiroth by flying RIGHT next to the Northern Crater, and then going, " I don't feel like saving the world. OH WELL!" And then switched off the game.

" But… Sephiroth! Holy! Aeris's prayer!" Cloud shouted.

" Feh." Said Hayley. And she disappeared in a flash of smoke, and flew off to frolic with the Puchuus and then some.

" How could she just leave us right before we were going to beat Sephiroth?!" Cloud shrieked, beginning to have ANOTHER mental breakdown. He started squirming around on the ground, moaning and then his little Dragon Ball Z looking child self starting screaming at him transparently. Everyone else was used to this, so they just ignored him.

" Couldn't we just go and beat Sephiroth by ourselves?" RedXIII asked, since he's smart.

" NO! I… I wouldn't know which materia to use! I JUST COULDN'T DO IT!" The pilot said, and then broke down crying.

" You don't even use materia!" Tifa shouted.

" IMPOSHIBIBBLE!" Shoopuf Dude added, and everyone shared a hearty laugh.

" I guess we should just waste some time until Hayley gets back." Said Barret.

" Doing WHAT?" Cait Sith wanted to know.

" I wanna go get more materia!" Yuffie whined.

" I wanna be with Cloud! ALONE!" Tifa exclaimed.

" I wanna visit Marlene." Barret said. Well, you all saw THAT one coming.

" I wanna fly around in my airship!" Cid barked.

" I wanna do my crazy dance with the jazz music…" Cait Sith added, but was ignored.

" I would visit my grandpa if Hayley hadn't killed him by getting my last weapon." RedXIII grumbled.

" Hey, your grandpa was kind of freaky. He could fly and he didn't even have any wings…" Yuffie said uneasily.

" He had an invisible jet pack." RedXIII let her know with dignity.

Yuffie coughed. " Oh. I see."

" I WANNA EAT COCO PUFFS!" Vincent screamed. Okay, okay, Vincent probably wouldn't ever eat coco puffs. I don't think they even had coco puffs in the Final Fantasy world. But, I mean, what else could he do? All he does anyway is sleep in a coffin and make cryptic remarks. But still, I feel bad about making Vincent want to eat coco puffs. Vincent's cool, and maybe a vampire.

" I want to kill Hojo!" Vincent declared much more coolly. Hayley had recruited him in Disk 3, and for some reason all the characters had lied to him by saying that, ' We might have to defeat Hojo someday too.' Why did they lie to him, knowing they had just beat Hojo one mere disk ago?

Cloud recovered from his bout of schizophrenia and coughed. " Well, I suppose it wouldn't be that bad. It's what… it's what Aeris would have wanted!" He sobbed, and they all nodded just because then he would let them do what they wanted to do which was… what they wanted to do.

" Well then, I'm off to Kalm." Barret said.

" I'm going to Wutai." Yuffie remarked.

" I want to visit my statue- I mean, my father." Said RedXIII.

" I will go and search for Hojo." Vincent said, and everyone looked at each other awkwardly. Ah, poor Vincent. Poor, poor deluded Vincent.

" Hey-hey!" Cait Sith said, looking and sounding just like Krusty the Clown for a second. He then shook his head sadly, and they heard Reeve mutter, " Aw, screw it." Cait Sith then turned off.

" I'll go wherever you will go, Cloud." Tifa whispered, as that song began to play in the background right when she said the lyrics.

" Alright!" Cloud exclaimed but you know the whole time he was thinking, Aeris, Aeris, Aeris, Banana, Aeris.

" Well then all you crazy hooligans get off my %*%*$* ship so I can be ALONE!" Cid yelled at them. " And you too, crazy flight attendants!"

" YAY!" shouted those guys. " We haven't been off this airship in nine years!"

" Well, time to get going!" Cid exclaimed, commanding they just jump off the airship RIGHT THEN! No, he flew them all just outside of Midgar, because Barret had wanted to go to Kalm, and Barret is the first party member you get in the game. TOO BAD EVERYBODY ELSE!

" Now we all have to go in pairs of two!" Cloud said like your dad would if you were all wanting to go swimming in the dangerous ocean.

" Why? We're all adults here." Vincent argued. He didn't WANT ANYONE interfering with his quest for the non-existent Hojo.

" Because it's easier to split up into FOUR sub-plots than eight." Cloud reasoned very smartly. Little did they all know I was using Cloud as… A PUPPET for my own reasons.

" I'm with Cloud!" Tifa shouted, grabbing onto Cloud like a leech. But no one argued with her because no one really wanted to be with Cloud.

" Barret, you go with RedXIII." Cloud commanded going all commando.

" But we're going two different places!" Barret argued, but they had already been tossed off the airship.

" Cid, you take Cait Sith who appears to be… OH MY GOD! Cait Sith is dead!" Cloud screamed, pointing dramatically to the turned off Cait Sith.

" No, he's been turned off." RedXIII informed him.

" Oh," said Cloud. " Vincent and Yuffie, you go together because you're both side quest characters!" He then laughed, as if only he could have been smart enough to figure that out.

" What? This girl will only interfere with my quest to find Hojo!" Vincent snarled, looking disgusted with that stupid Cloud.

" I don't want to go with Vincent! He's a vampire!" Yuffie whined.

" I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!" Vincent shouted. I'd be pretty angry too if everyone kept calling me a vampire, day after day.

" NO vampire would ADMIT he was a vampire." Yuffie argued, with her hands on her hips.

Vincent muttered something incomprehensible, and took a tranquilizer so he wouldn't turn into Jason.

" Well, off you all go!" Cid interjected hurriedly, tossing all of them but the stationary Cait Sith off the Highwind.

" WOW! REAL GRASS!" One of the Highwind dudes screamed from down below. The other three were rolling around and kissing the earth like crazy men.

" Goodbye!" Cid shouted, waving a cheerful goodbye to them.

" Forever." He added under his breath. He was never going to see those suckers again. Now the sky belonged to Cid Highwind and Cid Highwind alone! He did a crazy flip in the air and almost killed himself.

" Help! I've turned into a fruit bat! Won't you guys find a way to break my wife's spell?" Cid Fabool, formerly known as Oglop Cid squeaked, flapping around the Highwind. He then realized that they had all left, and he was too late to be a main staple in the plot.


The Turks were walking along to their theme music, and bobbing their heads every time that snapping sound in the song snapped. They kind of looked like Chocobos. Cool, yakuza Chocobos…

" I can't believe you didn't really die!" Reno exclaimed to Rufus, who was young and hot enough to also bob his head to the Turks.

" Well, why else would I greet my death by doing that thing with my hair instead of running and screaming…unless I knew I wasn't really going to die?" Rufus answered, and did that annoying thing with his occasionally yellow hair.

" Oh… I guess." Reno muttered.

" …" Rude contributed.

" Now, I will find Cloud and make him pay for Miss Pinky's death!" Rufus vowed, raising one shaking fist.

" Miss Pinky? Whose that?" Elena asked, since I didn't have anything else for her to say.

" MY BEST FRIEND! MISS PINKY!" Rufus sobbed, getting really out of character. But then again, he didn't have much of a character to begin with.

" You mean Dark Nation?" Reno asked, kind of putting two and two together. " I thought that dog was a guy."

" No. It was a girl. I'll find you… I'll find you Cloud Strife! I'll find you and kill you!" Rufus shrieked, running off the screen. The Turks watched him go boredly.

" I guess we should still protect the president… that was one of our last orders…" Elena ventured nervously.

" Nah." Said Reno and Rude.


" Where ARE they?!" Sephiroth exclaimed at the middle of the Northern Crater. He sighed and got up.

" I'm going to find them. You wait right here, mom." He told Jenova, who… kind of jiggled. A little.

" Is that okay?" Sephiroth prompted hopefully.

Jenova made a shrugging motion… or it could have been a nod. Maybe a shake. Hell, I don't know, but she moved.

" ALRIGHT!" Sephiroth shouted, and got out his skateboard and his rebellious teenage clothing that he was little too big for but NEVER too old enough for! " I'm FREEEEEE!" He cried, skating down the Northern Crater, and then dying an untimely death.

Jenova brought him back to life with her mystic powers. She wiggled… a little.

" Fine, I'll be more careful…" Sephiroth sighed. He then teleported ( can Sephiroth teleport? I mean THE Sephiroth, and not that illusion one that turns into Tifa at that one part. WELL, I GUESS HE'LL JUST HAVE TO.) to Costa Del Sol and spent the whole day skateboarding.