Pity kisses

Warnings/notes : Seto/Honda, hints at Seto + Joey, Honda + Otogi and Otogi/Joey, Honda pov.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 22nd december 2003, by Misura

Aren't I lucky? I took up 'I luv Kai''s random-weird-pairing-challenge and I got *these* two. So now I can only pray my Joey-muse will ever forgive me for taking away his Seto-kun ... ^^;

Warning : language

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Pity.

Can you build a normal, healthy relationship based on that single emotion?

Even if it's one-sided?

One year ago, I would have said 'no'. I would have rambled about True Love and how something purely physical could never last.

No matter how mind-blowing the sex is, without Love, it isn't worth a thing.

Yeah. I was quite the oaf then, wasn't I?

Truth is, I *am* having a relationship centered around those two things -pity and sex, that is.

And it's damn good. Half of the time, I could almost forget it isn't really *him* that I want.

The other half, I don't give a damn. Because he picked someone else and that's that.

End of story, no happy ending for all concerned. Drop of the curtains, show's over, nothing left to see.

Move on.

Except that he just happened to pick my best friend.

Now, I'm not the jealous type. You ain't going to see *me* dump my best bud simply because some guy I happen to have a major crush on fancies him.

Still, I can't say it was exactly *easy*, watching the two of them.

Neither of them has ever cared much for keeping their feelings a secret.

Gods, and we were thinking Ryou and that yami of his were bad!

They were a pair of chaste saints, compared to what Joey and Otogi dared in public.

Yes, I was talking about them. Don't look so surprised. Any guy who allows another guy to dress him up in a dog-costume doesn't do that kind of stuff because he *hates* that other guy's guts, you know.

I should have seen it ages ago.

Stupid me.

They say misery loves company though.

It's true.

I wasn't the only stupid one, you see, not the only one too shy or blind to make a move before it was too late.

A pity.

Looking back, it could have been so perfect.

Instead of the way it is now, with them together and us alone. Kind of.

I wonder sometimes why I did it, why I took that first step.

After all, he's not exactly the kind of person that's easy to approach.

He didn't love me, like he did with Joey.

He didn't taunt me, like he did with Joey.

He fucked me, like he couldn't do with Joey.

I'm just his substitute, to be dumped in a second at a single word from my best pal.

That sounds pretty ugly, but I guess the truth can be like that.

No one ever said this world was a cute, nice place.

Of course, there's *my* side of the story as well.

Like I said, I did make the first move.

I wasn't in love with him, like I was with Otogi.

I wasn't stuttering whenever he got near, like I was with Otogi.

I wasn't rejected by him, like I was by Otogi.

I offered, he said yes and there we were.

No doubt, there are moments when I almost like him.

Apparently even Seto Kaiba can't be a total bastard all the time.

So maybe it's not that weird that I was feeling sorry for him.

What is it they say, that the higher they stand, the deeper they fall?

It definitely goes for Kaiba.

Years and years of being an arrogant jerk, looking down on us poor simple people and then seeing the one person he'd actually have stepped down for walk off with someone else.

Oh, I don't think he'd have really changed much if Otogi hadn't snapped up Joey.

Just enough to keep him.

Pity.

Does he feel it for me?

Do I feel it for him?

Should I?

Should he?

Man, it's too late for thoughts like these.

Excuse me while I go kick a certain CEO back awake for some meaningless sex.

And mind-blowing, of course.

That's the whole point of this affair after all.

~to be concluded in the second part~