Pity kisses

Warnings/notes : Seto/Honda, hints at Seto + Joey, Honda + Otogi and Otogi/Joey, Seto pov.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 23rd december 2003, by Misura

I can't believe *thirteen* people reviewed and actually *liked* this pairing and fic! ^^; Thank you very much :

… Mimiheart : Thank you very much. I mainly like Honda for saving Mokuba, really. ^^;

… JuniperMoon : Well, I am a Seto/Jou-person at heart. Though I agree about Otogi deserving more lines. ^^; Thank you! (No real ending I'm afraid)

… I luv Kai : Why should one person win your challenge? I mean, the pairings you handed out are all different, so … *shrugs* Anyway, thanks for the challenge and don't worry about my Joey-muse too much. You know how puppies are ; all barking and no biting. ^^; Glad to hear you liked it!

… Yami) White Rain : Thank you.

… hieiandkuramalover : Actually, this pairing has been done before, though I forgot by whom. -_-; Glad to hear you didn't hate it!

… Kaira-chan : Thank you for the plushie! Now I can huggle Mokuba without getting whacked by Seto! ^^; And don't be so degrading about your lovely Yami/Mahado-faerietale! ^-^;

… Romennar : Thank you! You said the magical word so …

… Random Thoughts : Thank you!

… Suppis Tenshi : *coughs and blushes* Uhm, nothing happens, really. This chapter's just Seto's view on things. Thank you very much! ^_^

… Kiawna : oh … (hopes that's not a sign of intense hatred to me for having written this) ^^;

… Sapphire Rains : Glad to hear you liked it!

… DarkShadowFlame : Well, I'm just pretty frozen in my Seto/Jou-ness (the other characters are easier to play around with I think ^^;) but yes, *one* time's fun. So … willing to take up the challenge too? You can find it at I luv Kai's ff.net profile-page. Thank you! ^_^

… Lemon-Merengue : Sorry, this fic's not happy. (But my other fics are!) *coughs* Sorry, didn't mean to plug. ^^;

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Warning : language, (you did see this was Seto's chapter, didn't you? *points at notes*)

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Kisses.

He's quite good at giving those.

I'm sure he's had more practice at them than I have.

Oh, I know a thing or two about kissing too. It's quite amazing what one can find on the Internet.

Complete with pictures and pointers, for people like me who have, what's that charming term again? 'never been kissed'.

Like I'd have wanted to be.

Well, there was that one person. The mutt. The loser. The 'I'd have more of a challenge playing solitaire than playing against *you*' duelist.

Him, I wouldn't have minded.

In fact, he was the reason why I did all that research.

Because I sure wasn't going to let him best me in anything.

Relationships are never based on equality after all, and I wanted to make sure I'd be his superior in this, as I was in everything else.

Make sure I'd be 'on top', so to speak.

He never knew.

He never will know either.

I'd rather kill myself than face him knowing he knows.

Even I have my limits when it comes to courage born from pure stubbornness.

Though my walls are crumbling a little every day when I see that pretty boy getting all over him.

Not my heart. I don't have one. But my defenses, the things that allow me to walk with a straight spine and my head high ... those are slowly falling apart.

Yes, I am a bad loser. There, I admit it.

There are days when I would sell my soul to have Ryuuji Otogi removed from this earth's surface.

There are days when I am sure I can't face another dawn waking up all alone. Or next to Honda, for that matter.

Good old Honda.

Who got himself all worked up for Otogi, only to have him pick the only person who always seemed to loathe him for a lover instead. His best friend too.

I sometimes wonder who's the biggest loser.

And then I watch Otogi french-kiss Joey, right in the middle of science-class and I know.

It's me.

Honda told me he loved me last night.

Well, no big deal you'd say. Surely a declaration of love doesn't get to the great Seto Kaiba?

You're right. It didn't, not in the way that I went mushy all of a sudden or something like that.

He's nothing but an idiot. I'd get rid of him at once if I could have ...

But I can't. And there's the problem.

Honda, apparently, has moved on.

Otogi prefers someone else? Fine, then he'll just go and find another lover.

No hard feelings, still best pals, see you around ... congrats on your anniversay.

I, for some reason, seem to lack that ability.

To give up, call it quits, admit defeat.

It's just not an option. I want *him* and nobody else is going to do.

Nobody else is like him.

Man, that sounds almost like I'm in love with that mutt!

Which I'm not.

There is only one person in this world whom I'll admit to having such irrational feelings as 'love' for and the pup isn't that person.

What I feel for him *is* irrational, yes. I will go that far.

But it's not a mushy urge to protect him. To tear apart anyone who touches him or looks at him the wrong way, yes. Not for his sake, for mine.

I wish to possess him, to claim him for my property.

Perhaps he sensed that, somehow. Perhaps that was what made him accept Otogi.

That'd be better than him not feeling anything about me at all, in a way, even if it makes no difference in the present.

At least it'd mean there is something between us.

Something ugly and hurtful, for it might be argued that my desire would destroy him in the end, but still ...

No kisses.

Not what I share with Honda, a mindless, heartless thing.

As long as it's all I have though, I guess it's not that bad.

At least I'm not so cold at night anymore.

~OWARI~