Disclaimer: I don't Yu-Gi-Oh, and I never will. I'm just writing a story in the eyes of Seto Kaiba and how he would feel with yet another loss in his life.


     I walked around my massive house, it use to be ours, but now it's mine. She didn't want a mansion she wanted something smaller… "So I'll know where you are and you'll know where I am." It were as if she were standing right next to him right now, but she was gone, never to return again. The wine swivelled in the glass, I hate the taste of bitter, sweet alcohol but maybe it'll drown all my problems. I never drank before what would she think if she saw me right now?

     I walked back down stairs to where the fire was blazing, I remember when I use to sit here with my beloved in my arms, I held her tight never to let her depart without me and now she has deceased.

      Why? Why is she gone? She promised she would never leave and now? Now what? She said she never goes back on her word to people that are essential to her, am I not essential? Her husband, me Seto Kaiba? She left me alone, she vowed she wouldn't. I feel how I felt before, cold-hearted and isolated, love will never find its way to me and I won't let. I swear from this day forward I shall never love again, she was and always will be my only love.


     Now I sit here forlorn, taking occasional sips of the wine and watching the flames dance around. Here I sit in front of the fire, it feels like hell is dancing around me while my gentle angel scrutinizes me from the clouds above in heaven.

     I heed that the chimes are jingling, someone is here. Who is it? Doubtlessly someone who is here to console me. I don't need someone's pity! I'm Seto Kaiba; my whole life consists with pain, just because I lost someone who meant more to me then life itself…

     I get up to open the door there stood Yugi, Tea, Joey, Mai, Serenity, Triston, Duke, Sandy, Mokuba, Rebecca, Marik, Ishizu, Odion, Bakura and Charlie.

"Big brother!" Mokuba ran in and grasped Kaiba as if he were eleven again. "Seto, have you been drinking?" Kaiba looked at his hand that held his alcoholic drink, he raised it over his head and flung it across the room right into the fireplace. The glass broke into millions of tiny pieces, and as the wine caused the fire a blazed, it roared loudly as the firewood cracked.

     I looked at everyone, they all held their wives close by their sides, my blood boiled with resentment.

     For as long as I've known them I've always had what they lacked, now they come on the death day of my wife not to soothe my pain but to taunt! To deride, now they possess something that I do not!

     I glared at them; I went over to the wall and punched it as remorselessly as I could.

"Seto what's wrong? We want to help." Mokuba said, it hurt his heart so much to see his brother deal with so much anguish.

"Help?" He smiled at them evilly, "you're not here to help, you're here to gloat, to rejoice at the fact that I've lost the one and only thing that made me blissful" Kaiba fell on the floor and hit the carpet, tears welled up in his eyes, he wouldn't let them see him vulnerable.

     Mai walked cautiously over to Kaiba and bent down beside him, she put her hand on his shoulder to calm his sorrow. "Kaiba we're not here to take pride at the fact you lost the most significant individual in your life, you not only lost a wife we lost a friend, or sister." She pointed to everyone, "she was valuable to all of us and now…" Mai's voice choked at the last word, "she's gone." She took her hand and wiped her tears, "I know you think that she left you on purpose, but listen to me," she put her fingers under his chin and lifted his face, she looked into his icy blue eyes and he looked into her violet eyes. "She would have never left you on intentionally, she loved you with all her heart, believe us, we all know. Her obvious last thoughts were not about her life, but about yours. In her state of misery while she lay there she held memories about you not about how she was on the brink of life and death. Even if she is not here physically, you bear her emotions in your heart."

     Mai stood up and walked over to Joey's arms and wept in his arms, everyone had tears in their eyes, in one way or another she had an influence on them all now she wasn't here.


     Seto walked upstairs now they had all left giving their deepest regards to him, he walked into the master bedroom. Each inch of this room evoked memories, there was one picture where he was sitting down and she had her hands situated around his neck.

     Her sumptuous raven hair, her silk tanned skin of and Egyptian goddess, her mystical grey eyes her ravishing beauty is invoking my subconscious desires once more. I remember how her captivating body was in tangled with mine. She just did not touch me physically but emotional, she made me experience feelings I thought I'd never consider to subsist in my heart.

     Before I had known her, I had been the most vulgar, cold-hearted man in the world the only person I would not barricade my heart from was my one and only companion, Mokuba. Then I met her, slowly I revealed all my feelings to her, my grief and regrets gradually became apart of her heart. She did not let herself be pushed away by my harsh exterior; she leisurely excavated her way through to my heart, which opened up to her.

     Seto extended to his bed, the warmth of the divan didn't soften his rigid body, as he closed his eyes his mind abruptly filled with images of her face, the memories, and the feelings… He swiftly awoke, his body drenched in sweat she was lingering in his dreams. Kaiba got up to go to the bathroom to wash his face, he stared at himself in the mirror his reflection was not like he had ever seen it. His eyes were all depressed, the usually icy sapphire blue was now a pale blue, his skin was an ashen peach and his back was hunched over.

     You haunt me in my dreams, I have no escape from the memories of you. I do not want to forget your persona, your beauty, and your touch. I feel your love as if you were right beside me but you are not of this world. My heart will always carry you inside it, it shall remain honest to you my beloved.

     Kaiba reached over to the first drawer, his reflection gleamed across his required possession. He held the blade against his skin, the light slid across the side, right to the point proving it was razor-sharp. He skimmed the edge aligned with his skin, all the way down to his wrist. He could see the vein pulsating according to the beat of his heart, and right now his heart was beating at an inhumanely velocity. Wait for me my darling; I'm coming to join you. What would everyone think, Seto Kaiba is so emotional unstable and so defenceless that he is on the edge of suicide. It doesn't matter what everyone assumes the only opinion I care about is hers.

Seto… don't do it! Then who will carry my heart with theirs?

     Who was that?! Could it be? Is it her? Kaiba looked all around but saw no one, he shivered it was as if a sudden draft travelled up his body. He put the razor back in the drawer and closed it, death never solved any problems it only made things more complicated. Seto walked over to the balcony that was connected to his room and opened the entrance; there were two Blue Eyes White Dragons one on each side. A cold, swift autumn breeze embraced his body, he looked over at the ocean view. They would sit here her body touching his, the ocean always seemed to cause an atmosphere, it was how the various shades of purples, blues, oranges, reds, and yellows meshed together to create a piece of art.

     He looked out falling into a daze thinking about what Mai had said to him today, "…she loved you with all her heart…her obvious last thoughts were not about her life, but about yoursshe is not here physically, you bear her emotions in your heart." Mai is right; I have to be strong, not just for myself but also for all those around me who care. Love is all around me; I just have to accept it.

      'Pain and suffering lead to greater knowledge and wisdom, with distress and grief come love and affection. If you have hope, faith and belief everything will happen it your favour. Stay strong, because love will always find its way to your heart.'


I hope you enjoyed my pitiful attempt to write angst.

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