Fairly Odd Parents Goes Anime!
Ch.27- The Day He Married Makoto
When Cosmo gets the wedding bug jitters, will he be able to survive his own wedding?
Cosmo paced back and forth in his dressing room, absolutely a nervous wreck. Within the hour, he was going to exchange vows with the person he adored and loved for as long as he could remember, and spend the rest of his life with her. Even perhaps making little green/brown-haired fairy babies with the power to conduct electricity, and hopefully raise them to not fry Fairy World while they were learning to control their magic powers in school. Then once their kids were all grown up and they have kids of their own, then he and Makoto could live peacefully to old age. That is, if the marriage would turn out right. "GAH! WHAT IF I TRIP? WHAT IF I ACCIDENTALLY STEP ON MAKO'S DRESS AND PANTS HER? WHAT IF OUR KIDS TURN OUT WEIRD? Oh, I can just blame Makoto… BUT WHAT IF I FORGET MY VOWS! WILL SHE FORGET HERS? WILL MOMMA TRY TO KILL HER? ARGH! SO MANY QUESTIONS, SO LITTLE ANSWERS IN LIFE!" Timmy then came in, dressed in a nice tuxedo.
"Dude…I can hear you yelling from the hallways on the other side of the chapel. You okay?" He asked. Cosmo looked at his godchild, hyperventilating. "DO I LOOK OKAY?" He said, his eyes looking very wide like a deer caught in a headlight. "Dude, chill…it'll be fine." "THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY! YOU DIDN'T SCREW UP YOUR WEDDING TO CHIBIUSA!" Cosmo cringed when he looked into a mirror. "I'm gonna get married to the number one most beloved person in my life…and…and…then I'm gonna get screwed!" He started hyperventilating again. "Screwed as in, screwed screwed? Or screwed as in you know, screw screw?" Timmy asked. Cosmo stared at Timmy with flat green eyes. "Go away, you don't understand." He said. Timmy shrugged. "Sorry, I was just trying to help."
"Hey! Half-hour until the wedding march starts! Get you butt on out there!" Wanda said as she poked her head into the dressing room. "Wanda, will Cosmo be okay?" Timmy asked. "I'm sure he will…but if he starts to screw up the entire wedding, then wear these, and I'll tell you what to say and stuff." She explained, handing Cosmo and Timmy a couple of earphone sets. "Thank the gods for wedding planners." Cosmo sighed as he put it on. "Testing!" Wanda said. "AGH! My ears!" Cosmo wailed as there was very loud feedback in the earphones. "Good…can you hear me now?" She asked. "Loud and clear." Timmy reported. "...Well, what are you waiting for? Get your butt out there!"
Meanwhile, in another room, Makoto Kino was getting ready for the most memorable time in her life: getting married to the biggest idiot in the universe. "Hey! But he's cute!" Makoto argued as she put on her veil. "And has a good personality, funny, probably great in bed." Right… She opened the door slightly to hear the wedding march music change a bit. "About 5 minutes to go…" She grinned. "So Makoto, how do you feel to marry a handsome fairy like Cosmo?" Usagi asked as she put the flower bouquet in her hands. "Nervous…but I bet Cosmo is calm and collected." Makoto said.
"NOOOOO! I CHANGED MY MIND! I DON'T WANNA GO OUT THERE!" The green-haired fairy screeched as he hung onto the chapel pillars leading to the main room where the wedding was going to be. "Don't be a chicken!" Timmy growled as he and Wanda pulled on Cosmo's tuxedo jacket to get him off. "GET MARRIED TO HER, YOU FOOL! I DIDN'T SPEND ALL THIS TIME FOR YOU TO NOT GO THROUGH WITH IT!" Wanda yelled, prying her friend off with a crowbar. "She's got a point." Timmy added. At that point, Cosmo let go of the pillar, and tumbled across the floor in front of the double French doors. "Okay, but only because I spend a bunch of moola on this wedding…" He said, opening the door.
"Hey everyone! Nice to see ya! Thanks for coming to my wedding! Hope you brought a lot of wedding presents!" Cosmo greeted the guests as he went to go stand at the altar. Mama Cosma sat in the front pew, her hands perfectly folded on her lap and in her best Sunday dress. "Cosmo-lolo is marrying a lovely girl…but she better not take him away from me, or else I'll have to do something…drastic." She said pleasantly to the guests around her. (Mostly everyone from who knew Cosmo and Makoto.) They nodded hesitantly, unsure if they should be agreeing. "Doesn't my little boy look so handsome?" She gushed. "Oh Cosmo! Mummy's here! Look at me!" She called, waving her hand. Cosmo saw his mother and waved in embarrassment. "Hello, mama…" He said as Timmy rolled his eyes. But not where Mama Cosma could see him. She'd thwap him across the head with her big 'ol heavy purse.
At that point, the music changed, and the 'Wedding March' started. Everyone turned to see the flower girl…er…cat, who was Luna, and then the ring bearer, Artemis. Finally the beautiful bride came through the doors, her train being carried by Usagi. Cosmo felt a swell of pride as he watched his bride walk down the aisle. Mamoru, who was giving Makoto away, gave a thumbs-up to Cosmo and winked. When Makoto walked up to Cosmo, he took her hand and looked into each other's eyes, love apparent in their eyes. The priest, who was Jorgen Von Strangle for some reason, put on glasses, and started reading from the book. "We are gathered here today to put two people together that shouldn't be but the author wrote it so it's right from her perspective." He said flatly.
"That's right!" The voice from the cloud said as it floated over the altar. Some people put their fingers to their lips to shush the cloud. "Oops, sorry." The cloud said. "Anyway, because I don't like sitting through boring sessions, I'm going to shorten it." Jorgen said. "Cosmo, do you promise to be faithful and loving and do everything Makoto asks and more because I says so?" Cosmo blinked. "Uh…sure." "Makoto, you too?" "Uh…yeah." "Anyone who thinks they have an opinion whether or not these two lovebirds shouldn't be together?" Jorgen asked, looking out at the audience. Everyone lifted their hands. "Something that hasn't to do with no plot?" Everyone lowered their hands. "I thought so. Now give each other the rings." Mamoru handed the pillow out, but accidentally tripped over Artemis, and sprawled all over the floor. The pillow fell, and the rings were flying through the air. Everyone gasped, but Cosmo and Makoto lifted their hands, making the rings slip onto their ring fingers in a parody of Lord of The Rings.
"Now I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." Jorgen announced. Cosmo lifted up the veil and kissed Makoto on the lips with love, and her in return. Everyopne started bawling their eyes and wailing as tears gushed out incredible speeds. "PDA! PDA!" Some children shrieked in the background. The parents scowled and scolded their children by hitting their hands with a rubber chicken. Everyone cheered as the newlyweds turned and walked down the aisle to the outside. They gathered and threw rice at the couple, sometimes getting it their eyes. "Ow! You bastards! I need to see!" Cosmo growled. Makoto laughed and got into the new car that was waiting for them at the foot of the chapel. "I love you Cosmo!" "Huh? Oh! Yeah, I love you too!" Cosmo said, rubbing his eyes. The newlywed couple got into the car and drove away, with cans hanging from the back bumper of the car and the sign that says 'Just married' on it. Once they were on the freeway and headed towards their honeymoon hotel, Cosmo asked,
"What do we do now?" Makoto shrugged. "I don't know…wanna go play the Let's Not Study Game?" She suggested. "Cool! I claim the first controller!" And so, Cosmo and Makoto spent their honeymoon playing video games and doing the nasty. Nine months later, they had a couple of kids, and they weren't ugly like Cosmo thought they would be. If they did, he would've blame Makoto. And then eventually it would lead to arguments, a divorce…
BUT THEN…REALITY SETS IN!
"Wow! I married Makoto and we had pretty kids that had magical lightning to save the world! But then if our kids were ugly, I would've blamed Makoto, and then eventually we'll argue, and divorce, and then I would have to pay child support…and then the kids would think I'm the worst dad in the world…but hey! I got to do the nasty with Makato-chan!" Cosmo exclaimed as he sat up in bed. "…Go back to bed, Cosmo…you had a dream…" Wanda said sleepily. "…Damn it! I knew it was too good to be true!" Cosmo muttered. "Hey, at least Mara won't bother us anymore..." Wanda said. "Oh yeah! Well, until she breaks out of Fairy World jail, that is..." Cosmo said.
I hope the ending doesn't suck...I had a hard time wondering how to end the story. If you think it's over, don't worry, there's a sequel called Fairly Odd Parents Goes Anime Again. It has alot more humor and randomness. Prepare for some cameo appearances and get ready to laugh your butt off!