Disclaimer: I do not own: Trigun, Yu Yu Hakusho, NFL, Lita Akira, Ruroni Kenshin, or Canada. sigh

PART FOUR: KITTY RIVALRY!

The ADHQ is currently a peaceful place, with all the various humans, demons, and plants getting along rather nicely. Kristen's three cats are not at each other's throats, Knives has calmed down a bit after going insane and trying to blow up the ADHQ, Karasu is sulking because he missed the NFL Playoffs and didn't get to help Knives blow up the ADHQ, and Gavin is still in the ballet dress. Hee hee. Well, anyway, it was not always like this. Oh no. A few days ago, the ADHQ was complete chaos. You see, that was when Kristen had gotten her third cat. Being the common-sense lacking catgirl that she is, she decided to introduce her new friend, dubbed Lita Akira, to her old friends, Faye-Chan and Kuronekosama, immediately. As in, as soon as she came home from the animal shelter, she called her other kitties and placed Lita Akira on the floor to meet them. Needless to say, Faye-Chan instantly disliked Lita Akira and claimed her complete superiority over the poor kitten. Kuronekosama, cute lil' black cat, blinked cutely at Lita Akira and then went off to cutely play with her cute lil' mousie and cute lil' scratching post.

Did I mention she was cute? Yeah, I thought I did.

Anyway, Lita Akira was not intimidated by Faye-Chan. She had met up with her kind in the shelter before. Faye would eventually learn to like her, and they would all be one big, happy family.

Yeah right. Since when has anything planned in the ADHQ gone well? Lita is one delusional kitten.

So, like I said, Kristen had gotten Lita Akira from the animal shelter earlier that day. She had picked Lita from a group of kittens that had just come in. And believe me, if she had the money, she would've taken them all. But, as usual, she was almost broke. Go figure. So, using the last of her cash reserves, she adopted a small grey-furred green eyed kitten. Coming up with a name had been the hard bit. The young catgirl had gone through dozens of names, finally settling on two. Lita, she had gotten from a Greek mythology book she had grabbed from the library one day, and Akira from an anime she had been meaning to watch. Combining the two in a satisfactory manner, she paid the shelter her last five dollars and went on her happy way with her new kitten.

Faye was mad. Faye was so mad, she felt like swiping that fake grin off that tiny kitten's smarmy face. How could that idiot creature do this to her?! She was supposed to be her favorite. She had been the first, after all. Now the kitten was going to be taking all of that catgirl's time! Time that was supposed to be reserved for petting her, would go to feeding the kitten. Time that was supposed to be for playing Chase, would be spent coddling that tiny ball of fluff so it wouldn't try to run away the first time it went outside. This kitten was a complete waste of time! Faye sneered as the kitten was brought to her attention by the offending catgirl. It looked up at her with freakishly and hideously cute green eyes. Then it did the unthinkable. It mewed, a pleading mew, a mew that said, please be my friend. Please? Ugh. It made Faye shudder just to think about making an ally out of this invader. She sent a warning mrower back. It contained the message, never in a million years. This is war, cat.

Kristen happily skipped into the kitchen. Grinning, she skipped to the refrigerator and opened it, hoping to find that ravioli she had made last night. As she opened the door, a faint growl came from inside. Once again displaying her utter lack of common sense, she ignored it and continued to open the door. Two seconds later, a large ravioli colored. . . THING flew out at her. "Ahhh! RAVIOLI ATTACK!!!" she screeched as the thing hit her in the face. Screaming and flailing her arms, she rushed out of the kitchen to try and get it off. Unfortunately, the thing covered her eyes, so as soon as she left the safety of the kitchen island and stepped into the open, a randomly materializing beam appeared directly in front of her. With a loud thud, she went down. Kenshin style, swirly eyes and all. Except you couldn't see the eyes. Desperate, she did the only thing she could thinkof: she bit it. With a horrible screaming noise, the creature detached itself from her face, dropping to the ground. It then crept squelchily into a remote corner, never to be seen again. Or at least for another few chapters.

Kristen looked oddly at the ceiling. "How do you know, Mysterious Voice that sounds a lot like me?"

Shush! You can't make comments like that and expect the fourth wall to survive!

"Oro? That doesn't make any sense! Unless. . . You're one of the Evil Fungi from Outer Space! DIE, EFFOS!" Kristen launched herself at the ceiling, only to get a large, nasty crack about the head. Ow.

"You know too much! DIE!" Launch. Thud.

"How do you know what's happening to me?!" Launch. Grab onto ceiling fan.

"Stop that!" Make swipe at ceiling, loose grip on fan, and fall to floor. Thud.

"KNIVESUUUUU! Help me kill the EFFOS! They're taking over the world again!!!"

Knives walked into the room, twirling his .45 black Colt revolver on his finger. Glancing up at the ceiling, he came to the one obvious conclusion: that the spiders were coming, and they were bringing grenades this time. His eyes grew wide and he shot the ceiling six times, reloaded, and shot it five more times. Seeing the spider revolution crushed under the mighty flaming boot of Injustice, he wandered out of the room to see if there were any other spider resistance factions he needed to eliminate. Or he could have just had to go to the bathroom, I don't know. I can't read his mind, and frankly, I don't want to.

[Inside Knives's Mind] Many blobby red shapes floated past. Legato Bluesummers, wearing nothing but a towel, ran up to a random cow and tipped it over. He laughed maniacally, then ran off to. . . oh, wait. That's the authoress's mind.

[Er, in Knives's Mind. . .] Many blobby red shapes floated past. Legato Bluesummers, wearing nothing but a towel, ran up to a random cow and tipped it over. He laughed maniacally, then ran off to find his hotdog, which had floated past an hour earlier on its way to Canada. He then bought a train ticket to Kiwiland, hoping to find his hotdog. The hotdog obviously wasn't there, as I just said it was in Canada, didn't I? Well, anyway, he went to Kiwiland and saw all the pretty Kiwis. Er, actually they're ugly, but. . . Wait, we've spent too much time in Knives's mind.

Yes, it was shorrrrt! TT I'm sorrry! Anyway, thank you very much for reviewing, KuramaFreak! You are very appreciated, and stuff. And I hope I don't get eaten by your Hamsters of Doomism. . . Doomism. . . Meep. Dying probably hurts. So, Review! PLEEEEEAAASEEEE!