Disclaimer: Characters are, of course, owned by J.K. Rowlings. I own nothing but the silly wording.

Warning: Rated PG-13 for Draco/Harry slash and some language.

A/N: This was posted for Christmas 2003 on my Livejournal.  I'm posting it here even though it's past the season, just because it's still fun.

The Mistletoe Incident

One Christmas, an arrogant Draco,

Stood brazenly under the mistletoe,

To the girls who came near,

He offered only a sneer,

But no plea, bargain or threat made him go.

"Bloody hell," fumed a vexed Harry Potter,

When he heard it from Weasley's young daughter, 

"Why that damn stuck-up priss –

 I'll see about this!

I'm gonna slaughter that mistletoe squatter!"

Harry stormed off as quick as you please,

Picturing how to take Malfoy with ease

As he marched through the halls.

"Ha! A swift kick to the balls,

That'll bring the pompous prick to his knees!"

When Potter arrived at the scene,

Draco flipped him a gesture obscene.

A crowd gathered round,

Draco smirked, stood his ground,

'Neath the berries and sweet evergreen.

"Sod off, Malfoy!" Harry said with a hiss.

"Come make me," said Draco, "Like this – "

With his hands on his hips,

He pursed up his lips,

"Or are you afraid of a kiss?" 

In the room you could hear a pin drop.

Harry's gut did a crazy flip-flop.

His face turned bright red

As blood rushed to his head,

And his heartbeat was threatening to stop.

What a rotten, despicable scheme!

"Oh my God!" Harry wanted to scream!

This was the worst!

Harry inwardly cursed,

And prayed this was just a bad dream!

"Scared, Potter?" scoffed the smug Malfoy heir.

His words drew an emerald-eyed glare.

The Slytherins jeered,

And the Gryffindors cheered,

As Harry stepped up to the dare.

For a moment they stood eye to eye.

Face to face, toe to toe, thigh to thigh,

Said Harry, "You wish,"

His smile devilish,

Planning all the ways Malfoy would die.

Harry leaned close to his old nemesis

His lips just a breath from the kiss

He moved closer still,

Said in whispered ill will,

"I am so going to kill you for this."

Their lips met.  Harry intended a peck,

But Draco's arms locked around Harry's neck!

The onlookers shrieked!

Hermione squeaked!

Ron Weasley was a quivering wreck!

Draco kissed Harry Potter with gusto.

It was a scandalous demonstration of lust. Oh!

Then he bowed to the crowd,

Amidst catcalls loud,

His insufferable smirk added for show.

Incensed by the Slytherin's sass,

And never one to let opportunity pass,

Draco's bow was a gift,

Harry's vengeance was swift –

He kicked Draco hard in the ass.

"You bastard," Harry said later in bed.

He tousled his lover's blond head.

"Did we not agree

On complete secrecy?

Now you've made us a spectacle, instead."

Draco scowled. "Don't know why you're so pissed,"

"After all, it was only one little kiss."

Harry said, with a groan,

"Yeah, I should have known

 Not to fall for a damn exhibitionist."