Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: This is my first O.C. fic. Hope you enjoy! :)
This is Seth's POV the morning after the concert
Well, that was…unexpected.
I honestly don't know what I expected. I just thought that I'd get a little more of a reaction from her than that. A rage blackout, a tear, a snarky comment, and eye roll, anything. Hell, I would've settled for a sigh. But she gave me nothing. And even though I meant it when I said that I didn't want to hurt her feelings, or worse, have her hurt me, I think I deserved at least some emotion. Frankly, it pisses me off.
Does that make me an asshole?
Ok, yea, it does. But you have to understand that this is the girl who not one month ago put on a Wonder Woman costume and had the self-assurance, not to mention infinite benevolence, to share it with me. I remember sitting on that couch watching how she moved, with a combination of subtle shyness and bold determination that only she could pull off, and swearing to myself that it was all a dream.
But it wasn't.
It was simply the best gift anyone had ever given me. And I don't think I'll ever be more contented at the thought of passing out than I was at that moment. Then she made it even better when she told me she liked me. Me. Seth Cohen. Geek extraordinaire. And her. Summer Roberts. The girl of my dreams.
Yet this was the same girl who sat on a couch, calmly munching on a carrot as I nervously rambled to her that Anna and I were going to give this relationship thing a go. I had been worrying and stressing all week long over how I was going to break the news to her. How could I make it easier? Could I comfort her? Would she still be my friend? I even had a nightmare that involved blistering bamboo shoots being jammed into delicate parts of my anatomy. I obviously suffered.
But did she care? Not at all.
And that that stung. A lot.
Last year in Mr. Gordon's honors chemistry class I learned that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Yet Summer's attitude last night could only be described as a non-reaction. And that's what I don't get. Summer and I have shitloads of chemistry. I could feel it in every argument we had and I could taste it on her lips every time we kissed.
Fuck. Did she know how to kiss. We kissed exactly 59 times. Yea, I counted. So what? Each and every one was worth counting. Especially the ones from our first date, a.k.a the greatest date in the history of dating.
I wanted to impress her, so I took her to dinner at Pinot Provence, across the street form the South Coast Plaza. She had the chicken and I had the ravioli. At first things were a little awkward. Summer was being coy and I was sweating nervously. But we soon found our rhythm. I even had the nerve to take her hand as we walked to my car. She accepted it too. And that was only the beginning.
We ended up missing Return of the King (her choice, not mine; she thinks Orlando Bloom is hot) because we were making out in the backseat of the Range Rover. We didn't go all the way, but there were lips and hands and tongues all over the place. The air in the car became thick and almost tangible and it made me dizzy, but I don't know if it was because I was breathing so hard or because I was so close to her. I still haven't seen that movie.
But maybe it meant more to me than it did to her. That's what I can't stand. I spent most of my life wishing I could be important to her and then she acts like she couldn't care less about me. One minute she's hot and the next she's cold. She can be mean and bitchy and spoiled, but she can also be sweet and vulnerable and strangely shy. She's just so damn complicated.
With Anna it's just simpler. She's smart and funny and pretty and she likes the things I like. We never fight and she's never been ashamed to be seen with me. But most important, I know what to expect with her. It's a lot less scary with Anna; there's hardly any pressure.
We could probably last a really long time.
So when Anna showed up on my driveway on New Year's Eve, it was relief. I thought I had lost them both, but there she was right in front of me. She had made things simpler again, so I decided to go with it. I think we're both trying to ignore the fact that if it had been the other girl that had shown up instead things would be a lot different.
And that makes me feel like the biggest ass on the planet because I'm with one girl, but I can't stop thinking about the other. I wanted her to be affected so that I could at least feel that I actually mattered to her. But I got nothing. And I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt, because I was once so close to getting what I always dreamed of. Now it seems like I couldn't be further away.
And I want her more than ever.