Disclaimer: Okay as much as I'd like to, I own none of these characters (worst luck). Though in the future, I hope to get my mucky paws on Remus (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrowl!). Sirius and his quest for the Pop Tart Chapter 1:  She was in fact blue… (Blue moon)

"It was blue. Very blue. And she was… not blue. Very not blue." Sirius' brow was creased with concentration as he inked out his very… interesting made up divination homework.

"Can't you think of anything better than that?" Sirius looked up, tongue still poking out between his teeth, and met the gaze of James Potter.

"What do you mean?" asked Sirius, rubbing his nose and leaving a smudge of black ink on the side of it. Several girls nearby nearly swooned at this (apparently) adorable sight.

"I mean it's always 'blue, very blue,'" said James in exasperation.

"Well at least she doesn't always have red hair," replied Sirius, glancing over his shoulder at the table behind where Lily Evans and her friends sat. James blushed very red and looked at his thumb with avid interest. Sirius smirked, turning back to his parchment, "And the grass was green. Very green…"

*                                     *                                     *

Sirius reclined on his overstuffed pouf. He felt very please with himself. He always did well in divination. The Professor, being female, loved him. In fact she seemed to think that the sun shone from his… anyway. He closed his eyes and leaned back further. Yep. Definite O. He could practically feel it. He heard the gentle thud of parchment land on his desk. He opened one eye and glanced down… His eyes flew open. D. D for dismal. It sat on his table, huge and red. He couldn't have got a D… He had never got a D before. He glanced at James work. E. Sirius threw his paper down in disgust, and James looked across in surprise.

"What's up with you?" he asked, messing his hair up with his right hand. Sirius pointed at the large, red letter at the top of his page. "Oh… She probably just noticed it was always blue," said James knowledgably.

"How come she hasn't noticed she always has red hair in your dreams?"

"Err… Well, mine are real dreams."

"Picky, picky…" Sirius turned and scowled at the front of the classroom. He could feel that this was not going to be a good day…

*                                     *                                     *

"Mr. Black, I see no reason to be running in the corridors." Sirius screwed up his face, took a deep breath and stopped dead before resuming walking at a far more sedate pace. Professor McNasty walked past swishing his robe in a satisfied manner, and smirking at Sirius in what might have been described as delight. Remus came up beside Sirius and smiled sympathetically.

"Ignore it, he's only trying to get a reaction from you."

Sirius glared at Remus and carried on walking. Today had not been good. First, a D in Divination. Second, he had spilt his sleeping draft in Potions, earning himself O marks, then to top it off, had offended Amelia Lichen by helpfully telling her she had dirt on her upper lip in Herbology. She hadn't (although she did need to shave more than he did). As he walked into the Great Hall he could feel the whole of the Hufflepuff table turning as one to glare at him. God he hated girls with facial hair. He slumped into his seat next to James, snarling at anyone who greeted, or so much as looked at him. He could still feel the eyes of every single Hufflepuff in the school on the back of his head. Not a comfortable feeling.

"What's up with you?" asked James, startled by his usually happy-go-lucky friends grumpy countenance. Sirius scowled at James some more, who looked across at Remus, who had just eased himself into the opposite seat. Remus shrugged. Sirius, who had busied himself with a glass of pumpkin juice, slammed his goblet down and turned to James.

"Try two incidents involving McNasty, a D in Divination and one stupid, innocent comment that turns the whole of Hufflepuff house against you."

"What did you say this time?" asked James wearily.

"He told Amelia Lichen she had dirt on her face in Herbology," answered Remus somberly.

James snorted. Sirius brows knitted further together.

"How was I supposed to know she needed to shave more than me?"

Peter choked on his pumpkin juice.

Turning back to his dinner plate, Sirius had further reason to scowl when he realized his dinner was a delightful concoction of potatoes, gherkins, pickled onions and some liver. This was the last time he didn't pay attention to what he was eating again. He grimaced.

"Interesting dinner there Padfoot," said Remus, fighting the urge to laugh.

"Shut up Moony," snapped Sirius, "I like liver." He managed to cringe only slightly at the thought of this 'delicious' treat.

*                                     *                                     *

Having finished his dinner with total disgust, Sirius leapt from his seat long before Remus, James or Peter were even nearly finished.

"Where are you going?" asked James, immediately forgetting his conversation with Peter, who looked more than slightly put out.

"Dunno." Sirius left, only vague aware of Remus telling James to 'let him go'. Remus had always been good at reading peoples moods.

Stomping angrily across the entrance hall and into the dark grounds, Sirius was glad to get away from the noise of the Great Hall. He slowed to a walking pace, randomly rambling hither and thither across the grass. He eventually found himself standing beneath a huge beech tree at the edge of the lake, a misty blue haze hanging over its glassy surface. The sickle moon cast silvery light everywhere, and Sirius was put in mind of his divination homework. Grumbling, he stooped over and picked up a small flat rock and skimmed it over the waters surface. The grass was swaying slightly in the gentle breeze. It was certainly green. Sirius hated grass. It made him get D's in Divination.

Suddenly, Sirius stopped. He listened. A girl's laughter was floating down from the school. Turning towards the sound, Sirius raked his eyes across the landscape, looking for the source of the sound. There, silhouetted in the light of the school was a girl. And she wasn't blue.

*                                     *                                     *

Very slowly, Sirius' brain clicked back into gear. He blinked. What did he usually do in these situations? He… smiled. Yes. Smiling was good. He spoke, they laughed, then he said he'd owl them sometime. Yes, yes. He could do this. He smiled and started his approach. He was Sirius Black, he could do this. He raised his hand to wave, opened his mouth to call out to her, when all of a sudden…


The girl had brought her hands back, classic kung-fu style, yelled and was now running at him. His hand fell limp to his side, his mouth hung open. Gobsmacked would be an understatement.

He was about to consider leaping out of the way when she swerved, charging down to the lake. He stood there, his mouth open, staring at the school. Slowly, very slowly, he turned around and saw a small group of girls standing by the lakes edge. They was standing, waving and shouting to 'MEROVINGIAN Girl' and blowing on what looked like bottles full of different amounts of water.

Thoroughly disturbed, Sirius turned and made his way back up to the castle. The others were not going to believe this.

*                                     *                                     *

Remus, James and Peter stared back at Sirius. Remus looked amused, James knowing and Peter confused.

"I think we may have discovered the first girl in the history of Hogwarts not to fall over and die in a state of bliss at the mere sight of Sirius Black," said James mussing up his hair with finality.

"Indeed Prongs, I'm going to have to agree with you on that," Remus said, with a slight grin.

"What?" spluttered Sirius in amazement. This was not the reaction he had wanted. He wanted… well, he wasn't sure what he wanted, but it was not his friends making out he was disgusted at being snubbed. He wasn't. He was… intrigued. Yes. Intrigued. Who was this girl? Why hadn't he seen her around before? "No, no. I don't mean that. My point is I've never even seen this girl around school before, who the hell is she?"

Remus sighed wearily, exchanging a look with James. "What did she look like again?"

"She was short, not really short, about 5'2ish, with short straight black hair, thick rimmed glasses and brown eyes," replied Sirius, words tumbling out of his mouth left, right and center. "She was oriental." He sat forward looking at Remus eagerly.

"How did you know she had brown eyes? It was dark," Peter looked at Sirius in awe and wonder.

"I'm special. Well Moony, do you know who she is?"

"What did she shout again?" asked James exchanging a look with Remus.

"I AM THE MEROVINGIAN!" Sirius leapt to his feet and yelled, drawing his hands back as the girl had done. A spattering of first and second years turned around and stared. Everyone else ignored him. They were too used to Sirius' ways to care.

"Right." James said, glancing at Remus with a smile.

Remus sat back and started to read his Arithmancy textbook. James snickered and started talking to Peter about the astronomy assignment.

"Mooneeeeeeey!" whined Sirius, "Tell meeeeeee!"

"Dinkerella Pop."

"What?" Sirius was taken aback that Remus had given in so quickly.

"Dinkerella Pop. Ravenclaw. I have Arithmancy with her second thing on a Tuesday morning with Professor Vector. Third Floor."


"Second lesson, Tuesday morning, third floor."


*                                     *                                     *

Sirius waited impatiently for Care of Magical Creature to end. He and James had been trying to get their Hippogriff to rip Snape's head off for the past half an hour, but it wasn't taking the bait. Sirius sighed and leant back on the beast's stomach. He had to run all the way across the grounds up to the castle and then climb three flights of stairs and find the right classroom before she left. Remus had promised to try and delay her, but Sirius seriously doubted he would manage it, how the hell do you start a conversation about Arithmancy? It was just, well, BORING. The Hippogriff growled and Sirius moved away from it, very fast. He doubted Dinkerella would be impressed if he turned up without a head.

"Right, class dismissed," called Professor Beastie, tugging at the leach of a particularly fierce looking Hippogriff.

"Yes!" shouted Sirius, racing away as fast as possible, only vaguely aware that their homework was to read up to chapter 52 of the text book for a spot test on all previous chapters. He was only on chapter 5. Sirius, even if he had been aware of this wouldn't have cared. Now it was show time, and Dinkerella didn't stand a chance.

Author notes: That wasn't too terrible was it? I'd really appreciate it if you could read and review, as I'm not terribly sure where to go with this yet… meh. Thank you! Chapter two will be up quite soon… provided you like it of course… Smile! You may be on radar… *ü*