Ok, last chapter. I'm really sick of this story so I'm going to end it now. Have fun reading. Oh, and in case you don't notice, Sharap'n was modelled after me (surprise, just look at my name.) I do try and murder people if they wake me up in the morning, but I usually don't succeed.

They packed up and left, and before long, they came to a large, swampy river. There were patches of grass and river weed everywhere. Walking along a makeshift bridge, Tiffany could feel the sea creatures brushing against the underside of the narrow log. Sinthya slipped on a piece of moss – and fell in.

Tiffany didn't know what kinds of animals were in that water, nor did she care. She pushed her wings out, and flew over to where Sinthya was treading water. She pulled the young queen out of the water, noticing that she was suprisingly light. Then, she looked down, and saw why Sinthya was so light. She was but a torso, the bottom half looking like it had been ripped off by some savage sea monster.

"Yeah, I forgot to tell you – you ever seen that movie, Deep Rising?" McGonagall said.

"Yes!" shrieked Tiffany. "The one with the giant life-sucking sea monsters?"

"They're in this lagoon."

"Helpful now!" said Tiffany, but McGonagall was smiling to herself, because she had killed two birds with one stone. She had a) gotten rid of that annoying Sinthya fellow, and b) made Tiffany look stupid.

They had nothing to do but trudge on, and trudge on they did, with their scant provisions keeping them alive.

"I think this is a jump pad, guys." Ginny said, and demonstrated by leaping onto the large red box. She immediately was forced high into the sky, landing onto a platform above their heads.

"Looks simple enough." Said McGonagall, and walked onto the box – with not enough force to propel herself the entire way. She missed the platform by a few metres, and landed onto an extremely large brick with a sickening crack.

"Oh well." Tiffany said, and jumped onto the box with Harry. They were propelled onto the platform, and they made their way along it without too much hassle, until a large, rotting skeleton shimmered in.

"Pick a card, any card, you will see it's not that hard." The skeleton said, cackling insanely.

"What?" asked Harry.

"Pick your choice, choose your pick, this isn't really a very good magic trick."

"I see." Tiffany said.

"The girl is smart, the girl's not dumb, I think she has been drinking rum."

"Can you quit with the cheesy rhymes?" Ginny asked irritably.

"You aren't that smart, you're pretty munt, you can stick it up your –"

Tiffany effectively shut the skeleton up by removing its jawbone. The skeleton glared at her, then held out a deck of cards. Tiffany chose the centre one. It was the nine of hearts. The skeleton cackled and disappeared, dropping the cards all over the place. Each one was the nine of hearts.

"That WAS a cool trick." Harry said.

From there they had two choices: swim the left route through a dark, grey river, rapids lashing at the sides, and shark fins protruding from the water everywhere, or take the left route, through a peaceful, clear blue channel, with sunshine, and a visible golden beach. There was only one shark fin protruding from that channel, and it looked like a dolphin fin anyway.

"The right one looks like a trap." Tiffany muttered, and stuck her wings out, picked Ginny up, and dropped her in the left route. "SEE IF IT'S SAFE!" She yelled out. In approximately 3.263 seconds, Ginny disappeared under the water and a rush of red came up to the surface.

"Right route it is, then." Said Harry, whose facial expression said it all: 'I'm shitting my pants'.

So they dived in the right route, and swam past the Friendly Dolphin, up onto the golden beach. Hark! A temple! With loud snores coming from the inside. Tiffany and Harry ran up to the temple, and into the sleeping chamber of Witchdoctor Sharap'n.

"SHARAP'N!" Tiffany shrieked. The mean-tempered witchdoctor awoke with a start, and rose into the air, squinting at Tiffany and Harry. Her eyes burned an unearthly blue-grey colour; her hair was an impossible reddish-brown, but sort of shined purplish magenta in the sun. She had a pale face, and was rather thin. Dangling from her ears were green and silver triangle-shaped earrings, and she had a Gemini necklace on.

"You dare disturb the slumber of the great Witchdoctor Sharap'n?" She screamed, in a high-pitched kind of screech. "You had bloody well better have a plate of bacon for me!"

"No, Miss Sharap'n –"

"Then you'd better have something cool!"

Tiffany dug into her pockets. There was a few sticks of gum, twenty-three knuts, and a butterfly clip.


"Got some."


"Sharap'n has no need for money."

"Butterfly clip?"

"Alright. But I want something else! A stingy £1 butterfly clip isn't worth your lives!"

"The only other thing I have is this nine of hearts." Tiffany said, holding up the card she had got off the rotting skeleton.

"The NINE... of hearts?" Sharap'n asked softly.


"Not the ten... nor the eight?"


"Nor the Jack? Nor the seven?"

"It's the nine."

"Not the Queen? Not the six?"


"Not the King? Or the five?"

"It's the Nine."

"Not the Ace? Or the four?"

"Nope. This is the nine of hearts.

"Not the two? Or even... the three?"

"I tell you, this is the number nine, of the hearts section of a pack of cards."

"Gimme that!" Sharap'n screeched, and tried to snatch the card from Tiffany, but she was too quick, putting it behind her back.

"I need the reverse-curse first."

"Fine. Ah..." and Sharap'n muttered the incantation to stop Tiffany murdering people.

"Rictum sictum peas and corn,

Going blind is caused by porn.

Rancum sancum popping pills,

Make this woman stop her kills!"

"Now if that wasn't the crappiest spell I ever heard then I don't know what is." Tiffany said, and Sharap'n glared.

"Thank you for this nine of Hearts, Tiffany!" said Sharap'n, and she disappeared.

"How did she know my name?" Tiffany wondered, but then music came on, and a voice drifted through the temple.

"Goodbye, Tiffany. I hope we will meet again soon..."

"What are you doing?" Harry asked incredulously, as Tiffany swivelled her hips and jumped 90 degrees to the right.

"I believe she's doing the Macarena, professor!" Tiffany said, laughing and dancing until the song faded to nothing.