Title: Butterfly Kisses
Summary: Songfic to 'Butterfly Kisses' by Bob Carlisle. Will thinks about his little girl.
Disclaimer: Technically the only thing in this fic that would be considered property of someone else is Butterfly Kisses (belonging to Bob Carlisle), and the term 'space boy', belonging to Barbara Hall and CBS. However, since I did have the Girardis in mind while I wrote this, I'll give a CYA and add that the characters here belong to the aforementioned owners of Joan of Arcadia.
Author's Notes: I AM still working on the second part of Full of Grace, I'm just a little stuck. If you'd like me to just finish this scene and post a SHORT addition, I can do that. But I can't promise the next part after that will be up any time soon. :-P
Author's Notes 2: (actually relating to this story!) I just heard this song on the radio and Will/Joan just popped into my head. She is SUCH a Daddy's Girl (says someone who is just as much of one)!
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She was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. He'd fallen in love the moment the nurse placed her into the little crib marked Girardi. Soft, pale skin and little strands of light brown hair dusting the top of her tiny head. She'd opened her eyes and blinked, waving her tiny fist experimentally. He stared at her for hours that night, watching as she slept. It was then he knew his life was changed forever, by the little brown-eyed girl his wife had named Joan.
There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven, and she's Daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life, oh but most of all...
She was still beautiful. Five years since that night, and she was still the brightest light in his life. He'd taken her and all her friends to the carnival for her party. Helen had bought her a terribly impractical lacy white dress for her birthday, and she had insisted on wearing it. Her long dark hair had been curled, and the bouquet of daisies that Kevin had picked for her adorned her barrettes. She'd held his hand the whole day, her little fingers curled in his while she bravely rode the tame little ponies, when she climbed onto the merry-go-round horses, and while he was certain she ate at least her weight in cotton candy. He didn't mind. She'd even made a project into baking her own cake - with her mother's help of course. It came out lopsided, and her icing was an odd blue-grey, but to him it was delicious. Late that night he tucked her into bed and listened to her softly whispered prayers. She sat up and kissed him, then whispered in his ear: "I love you Daddy."
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
Walk beside the pony Daddy, it's my first ride
I know the cake looks funny Daddy, but I sure tried
Oh with all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.
Their world had been turned upside down a year ago, but she still brought joy to them. Her big brother would never walk again, but she never treated them any differently. She never acted like anything was wrong, but he'd heard her crying at night. He couldn't be with her today, the first birthday when he hadn't woken her to a breakfast of her favorite foods and kiss from Daddy. He got home late, the house was dark and he knew he'd missed his baby's sixteenth birthday. He stopped just inside the door, peering into the living room. She smiled up at him, her hair curled and wearing too much makeup. She twirled around, showing off a dress that showed too much of her. There was a faint new scent in the room, and his throat caught. She looked so much like her mother.
Sweet sixteen today
She's looking like her Mama, a little more everyday.
One part woman, the other part girl
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great big world
But I remember...
She wasn't valedictorian. She was actually somewhere in the middle 50% of her class, but he couldn't have been prouder as her name was called and she walked up to that platform. He saw the diploma exchange hands and he felt horribly, terribly old. Then she caught his eye and flashed her brightest smile his way. He smiled back, and she quietly retook her seat next to Hector Gann.
He met her back outside the school, she stood proudly in her black gown and cap, that strange combination of emotions that graduation brings terribly clear on her features. She smiled when she saw him and ran to hug him. He picked her up and swung her around, completing the Kodak moment. She laughed, and his wife took a picture. He gave her the bouquet they'd brought - daisies, her favorite. She beamed and had her mother take another picture. He looked down at her and felt his stomach knot. "You're all grown up."
She smiled and leaned up, kissing him softly on the cheek. "I am. But you'll always be my Daddy."
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
You know how much I love you Daddy, but if you don't mind
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.
With all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.
He listened to the news with a sinking heart. He liked the boy, certainly, but…she was just a baby. She stopped smiling when she saw his face and he hated that. She chewed on her bottom lip and looked uncertain. She was all grown up, she was almost twenty-three, but she still needed his approval. He forced himself to smile and hold out his arms to her. She beamed and threw her arms around his neck, laughing happily. He held her close to him for just a moment, pretending for a few seconds that she was still his little baby. He released her and shook the hand of the man he had once dubbed 'space boy'. He would pull him aside later and give him the standard pre-marital talk, complete with references to the police force and his gun, but for now he had to smile and welcome the boy into the family. She smiled at her daddy, and held onto the man that would be her husband.
All the precious time,
Oh, like the wind the years go by.
Spread your wings and fly.
She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise, and I'll give her away.
Standing in the brideroom just staring at her
She asks me what I'm thinking, and I said I'm not sure.
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl,
And she leaned over...
She stood in the center of her old bedroom, the room she had moved out of six years before, and looked up at him with wet eyes. He'd never seen her more beautiful. His wife tucked one more daisy in her daughter's hair then stood aside, as she always had at these moments. She sniffled and swallowed hard. "What do you think?" She asked, her lower lip trembling a bit.
He looked at her in her wonderful gown and long veil and smiled sadly. "I think you're not my little girl anymore." She looked up at him and smiled. His throat caught and he was suddenly fighting back tears. In a few hours, she would be a married woman. Someone else would be the man in her life, and he would be…very, very old.
She reached up and brushed away a stray one. "I'll always be your little girl." She whispered. "I love you Daddy." She stood on her ridiculously tall white shoes and hugged him, giving him tiny kisses all over his face. She pulled back and smiled bravely. "Walk me down the aisle?"
Gave me butterfly kisses with her Mama there
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
Walk me down the aisle Daddy, it's just about time.
Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy?
Daddy, don't cry.
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right.
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses,
I couldn't ask God for more, than this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember...
Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses.