A/N: Oh look! Update! Well to those of you who are still reading, thanks for sticking with me on this one. Life has been crazy so I haven't had time to update. I'll do my best to finish this story.
A/N 2: Ok, not a real update, but there were a few errors that were brought to my attention and they've been driving me crazy and I've finally gotten around to fixing them…possible update soon, maybe within the nest few days? Wish me luck.
It had been two months since Grace was back with Sara. Sara and Nick had bought a house not that far from where Catherine lived. They had moved in a month ago with Grace. Everything was going great. Of course Nick was still in his own room, and Grace kept asking why Nick and Sara didn't just share a room since they hugged and cuddled all the time. Sara had finally gotten Grace enrolled in a good school, and Grace had been doing amazing in Kindergarten. Everything seemed to be going great. At this moment in time, Nick was at work, Grace was at school and Sara had the day off.
Sara was currently dusting and vacuuming the living room, which was strewn with movies and toys of Grace's. She was beginning to pick up Nick's messy habits. Sara was humming to herself when the doorbell rang. I wonder who that could be. Sara opened the door, surprised and utterly shocked at whom she saw. "Jay" she gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"Sara, we need to talk."
"About what? The facts that you stole my daughter from me, and wouldn't even allow me to call her? Or the fact that you lied to a judge, just because you didn't want me to have something that you didn't or couldn't have? Or the fact that you just left her alone at a place where you thought I would be? What in God's name would we have to talk about Jay?" Sara said angrily.
"Sara, I'm sorry. But I couldn't do it anymore. There's no excuse for what I did to you. But what would you please just let me explain why I brought Grace to you?" Sara didn't say anything, she just motioned for him to come inside and sit down.
"You look ill Jay."
"I am. That's why I brought Gracie to you. Sara I screwed up. My parents found out what I did, and they refused to help me in anyway now."
"Oh…so now they see that their prized son is lying sack of shit?"
"Yeah. Sara, I'm sick. In the past three years I've done more coke and heroin and drank more Vodka than should be allowed in one lifetime. My liver is shot. I'm running out of med's for the manic depression, and to top it all off, I'm now a paranoid schizophrenic. My liver is failing, I'm going through withdrawal and to top it all off the fucking man won't shut the hell up." He was almost in tears, and so was Sara.
"Am I supposed to feel sorry for you now? I could have helped you back then. But you were abusive, and too wrapped up in your work and making sure that mommy and daddy kept the cash flowing to ask for my help. I don't forgive you, and I probably never will." She said glaring at him.
"I'm not asking you to. I just came here to tell you how sorry I am for every ounce of pain that I ever caused you. I'm so sorry. I can't say that I never meant to do it, because at one point I think my intent was to shut you up, so I hit you. God Sara, I'm so sorry," he was crying now, " I just want you to know that I'm so sorry. I…I love you. As the mother of my only child, and the only thing that I ever did right in this world was because of you."
"Well, I don't love you."
"I don't expect you to. I just wanted you to know, why I did some of the things I did. The last of my dignity is going into the conversation. Just so you know…I fucked up Sara. I did, it was my fault. When we got married, I loved you so much, and I couldn't wait for us to have a family. But I knew, I knew that I was sick. I knew that I was manic-depressive, and I should have told you, but I didn't. And then when Gracie was born the little things would set me off, and I didn't know why. I couldn't control it. It was like I wasn't me. Like I was just watching the horrible man take over me, and I'm so sorry. I should have just turned myself into the police, or a hospital or something. Because I knew that I was hurting you, and Grace, but I couldn't bear the thought of telling my parents of what I had done. So I lied, I lied and I probably scarred Gracie for life, and I hurt you in a way that I cannot even begin to understand and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He was completely falling apart in front of her; Sara herself had even begun to cry. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"
"How…how long do you have?" She asked quietly as she wiped away a few tears.
"The doctors say maybe a week or two. I want you to know, that I had a life insurance policy for myself worth two million dollars. I've listed Grace as the sole beneficiary. So when I go, you'll have to talk to my parents back in San Francisco."
"Jay, if you only have a week to live, why the hell aren't you in a hospital?"
"I escaped" He smiled a little, "I had to tell you…you had to know before I went."
"OK, well…now that I know. I think you should go back to the hospital. And uh, thank you for telling me. But know that I will never forgive you."
"I know, and that's my fault. Thank-you for listening Sara. Tell Gracie that no matter what she hears about me, that I loved her."
"She'll know. I think you should leave now." Sara stood up and walked to the front door, and Jay followed.
"Good-bye Jay." She said as she closed the door. She watched him walk away towards his car, get in and drive away. Once she saw that he was gone, she slumped down in front of the door and began to cry.
She stayed there for hours unmoving until she felt the door try to open. "Sara?" Nick's worried voice called from the other side of the door. "Sara? Where are you? Are you okay? Why can't I open the door?" He yelled frantically into the house. Sara stood up and opened the door for him.
"What are you doing home Nick? Don't you have work?" She said not lifting her head as he came inside.
"Yeah, but I took a break. I forgot to pack a lunch. Are you OK? Were you in front of the door?" Sara began to cry again as he breathed out question after question.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked as he took her into his arms and held her to him as she cried.
"Grace's father was here today."
"What!" Nick exclaimed, and a little worried that she hadn't called him. "Are you OK? Did he hurt you? Did he touch you? If he did I'll kill him!"
"It's okay Nick, you won't have to; he'll be dead in about a week. I came to apologize for everything. He's dying Nick, and I told him that I couldn't forgive him, and he said it was OK, mostly he just apologized for hurting me and Grace"
"But he didn't hurt you?" He asked again and she shook her head no. He breathed a sigh of relief and kissed her forehead.
"I'm okay Nick, just a little rattled is all. I never thought I'd see him again, especially not so weak as he was. I knew he was sick, I just didn't know how sick. His liver is failing. Too much drugs and alcohol," she kept crying, "but he's not coming back Nick. He's never coming back. He'll never hurt Grace again." She wiped her tears and finally looked at him.
"Baby, that's great!" He hugged her. "I mean not that he's dying...but..."
"I know what you mean. And did you just call me baby?" Nick blushed a lovely shade of pink and ducked his head.
"Is that okay?" He asked shyly.
"Yea, it is." She smiled as she kissed him. She broke away all too quickly for his liking and said, " I'll make you some lunch and then you have to get back to work, and I have to pick up Grace from school. Uh, dinner tonight? You want to go out tonight? We could invite Catherine and Lindsey for pizza or something?"
"Sure baby" He smiled as she led him to the kitchen. He sat down as Sara turned her back to make him a turkey sandwich. "Sara?"
"Hmm" she answered without turning back to face him.
"Uhm, I don't really know how to say this, but. I…I wanttodateyou."
"What was that Nick?" She asked as she placed a turkey sandwich and a glass of iced tea in front of him.
"Uh, I want to date you. I know it may be really fast. But we're already living together, Grace seems to think that there's something between us. We kiss all the time."
"I kiss Warrick." Sara said bluntly.
"Yea, but that's a friendly kiss. When was the last time Warrick stuck his tongue down your throat to say good-bye?"
"Uh, never." She blushed.
"Sara what I'm saying is, that I think we should give it a try. I know how I feel about you. I love kissing you, and I love hugging you, I love seeing you in the morning hair all disheveled and the grumpy look you get on your face, I love when you get frustrated because you look so damn cute, and I love that when you concentrate on anything, anything at all you sing to yourself, and I love talking with you, and I love holding your hand or cuddling with you on the couch while we watch cartoons with Grace. And I love Grace. I love tucking her in at night, and I love helping her with homework, and I love making her breakfast. And I love that when she calls me Nicky and whines to get what she wants I want to give the whole world to her. I love comforting her when she scrapes her knee, and I love telling her that I love her and her mommy. I love her as if she were my own daughter. And I'm completely and madly in love with you." Nick exclaimed in almost all one breath.
"Well Nick, it sounds like you've just about skipped dating me and we're up to marriage."
"Why not?" The look on Sara's face was priceless. Her mouth agape and utter shock danced across her features. "Sara I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. And I want to watch Grace grow up and maybe someday have more kids. I love you."
"What ever happened to the dating idea?" Sara asked, still in a state of shock.
"I skipped it, and I changed my mind. I don't want to date you Sara, I want to marry you.Sara Grace Sidle, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" By now he had slid across the floor to where she was standing and was on one knee.
"Nick…I…" She looked at him for a moment. And tried to remember all the things that he said he loved about her and Grace. He loved her. He loved Grace. He was on one knee in their kitchen. Their kitchen. He was asking her to marry him. "Yes, I would love to be your wife Nick." He smiled, stood up kissed her and swung her around in his arms.
"You said yes. We need to buy a ring."
"Nick, you don't-"
"We'll buy a ring." He said and kissed her.
"OK, but you have to take your sandwich to go now, and I have to pick up Grace."
"What's your ring size?" He asked as she put his lunch in a bag.
"I don't know." He took a piece of measuring tape out of one of drawers in the kitchen and took her left ring finger and measured it.
"This should help, "he smiled and she just shook her head. "I'll see you later baby." He said as he kissed her.
"OK, so dinner tonight, tell Catherine!"
"OK" He said as he kissed her again, this time with more passion. A few minutes later they broke apart, he kissed her forehead, and then her lips softly again, and left to go back to work. Sara smiled grabbed her keys and her purse and left to pick up Grace
She was getting married.
She was getting married to Nick.