A/N: This is the last chapter. It's been a pleasure, my friends. Enjoy.
Oops, Chapter 11
Month Ten: Wherein falls all the due dates
"Seriously, man, you have to let me out of here!" Lucas tried to get the guard to listen to him for the 3984029348302th time. "My girlfriend is going to go into labor any day now!"
"I thought that was his girlfriend," the guard gestured to Nathan, who was busy banging his head against the bars.
"No, they're not together," Lucas shook his head.
"He and your girlfriend?" the guard smirked impishly.
"Nope, he was with my girlfriend, though!" Nathan called out helpfully, clearly giving up the idea of getting out.
"I thought you and his girl were just friends," the guard frowned.
It wasn't the first time they'd tried to tell this story.
"We are just friends, but that is a different girl."
"That he's not with."
"I would be if you'd let me out of this cage, dumbfuck," Nathan flicked off the guard.
Lucas sighed. Nathan had such a way with people, it was amazing they were still stuck in here.
"I can't just let you out cause you're both idiot enough to knock up your girlfriends…or…each other's girlfriends."
"No," Lucas shook his head, "He was never seeing my girlfriend and I was never seeing the girl he knocked up."
"Then what about his girlfriend?"
"Ex-girlfriend," Lucas corrected.
"Not while you were fucking her," Nathan interjected.
"That's sick, man," the guard frowned at Lucas, "He's your brother."
"Thank you!" Nathan grinned for the first time and put a tally under 'Nathan' on the wall.
"Anyway," Lucas cut off the gloating, "She got knocked up by someone else, we don't know who."
"And then you knocked up your girlfriend," he gestured to Lucas, "And you knocked up some other skank."
"She's not a skank," Nathan snapped.
"She's not," Lucas confirmed, glaring at the man.
"But you're not together… Why not?"
Nathan sighed, "Cause I'm a dumb ass, okay?"
"Yeah, that's true," Lucas nodded.
"You are the worst story teller," Nathan shook his head and lumbered to his feet, "OK, here's the deal. Lucas knocked up his girlfriend Brooke. I thought Haley was hooking up with Jake, so I was a total dick to her and then she moved away and I had to go find her."
"So you stole a car."
Nathan glared at him, "No! Look, when you were like 18, did you drive your parents car?"
"Not out of the state without permission."
"Well, he was being a dick! Haley's in Seattle. I am not. She thinks I don't want to be with her. I do. Her number was disconnected, I can't talk to her. I couldn't get an airplane ticket, so I drove. With my car."
"It's in his name."
"It was a present. Believe me."
"So why hasn't someone sprung you yet?"
"Probably something to do with wasting one of our calls on Dan and…what was it your mom said?"
"'Oh, Lucas, I can barely hear you, let me call you back!'" Lucas air quoted with a sigh.
"That sucks," the guard muttered.
"You could help us out," Nathan suggested.
"Ohhh, hell no, I'd get fired."
"Hey, if you just happened to move our stuff and my phone fell…" Lucas shrugged, "It might Speed Dial my girlfriend," he coughed, "Number Three, and if you were to mention in passing, to someone else in the room…where we were and she over heard it…"
"Well, that'd be an accident, now wouldn't it?" Nathan smiled.
The guard smiled slowly, "Sometimes that happens."
"Would be a shame," the boys shrugged.
"Where is he?" Brooke was out of energy for tears. Her boyfriend and his brother had disappeared and her life was falling apart.
"That's men for you," her mother shrugged, "Always abandoning responsibility. I told you, you should have-"
"I DIDN'T WANT A FUCKING ABORTION, LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Her mother darted from the room quickly when Brooke started throwing shoes. Ahh, the unexpected perks of platforms.
Brooke's phone started ringing and she carefully rolled toward it on the bed.
'Hot as Hell' stared back at her on the screen and Brooke immediately answered it.
"Lucas? Where are you?"
"No, erm, ma'am, your boyfriend is being held in the 5th precinct in Des Moines, Iowa for Grand Theft Auto."
"His hearing is in the next couple of days."
"What day, exactly and why has he not called?"
"As per law, he was only allowed one call."
"So why are you calling now? What's your name?"
"Good luck, ma'am, I'm sorry to inconvenience you," the man on the other end hung up.
Brooke stared at the phone. Oh, HELL no. Her due date was in less than a week, her boyfriend was coming back and he was coming back NOW!
"Come on, Karen'll let you go early," Peyton batted her eyelashes at Jake, "Isn't that right, Karen?"
Karen rolled her eyes, "We're closing up in fifteen minutes, Peyton, I'm sure you can wait until then."
"I wouldn't be too sure…"
"Want some fries to hold you over?" Jake winked.
"Ohh!" Peyton bounced, "Yeah, gimme!"
Karen chuckled at them and the phone rang. "Take care of our…customer, Jake," she shook her head and went for the phone. "Hello?"
"That's right, take care of me," Peyton nodded, stuffing her face with fries.
"Brooke, calm down," Karen's tone caught Peyton's attention and she stopped chewing. "He's WHAT?! OK, sweetie, I'll take care of it, you just calm down for the baby, can you do that? Good. Now, don't worry."
Karen hung up the phone and just stared off into nothing for a second.
"Whash," Peyton frowned and finished chewing her fry, "What's wrong?"
She took a drink.
"Lucas is in jail."
She spewed the drink.
Coughing spasmodically, Peyton tried to regain control of her voice. "What?" she gasped finally.
"Nathan must be with him, but why would they do something like that?"
"DO WHAT?" Peyton crossed her arms on her stomach.
"Steal a car."
She was glad she was done swallowing.
"They wouldn't steal a car."
"They're in jail for Grand Theft Auto."
"That makes no sense, they had Nathan's car, no one could accuse them of-" Peyton's eyes narrowed and locked with Karen's.
"Dan," they both hissed.
"I'm gonna kill that bastard," Karen growled, grabbing her keys.
Peyton's eyes went wide and she gasped, "Can you…can you call my dad first?"
"What's wrong?" Jake rushed over to her.
She grabbed his hand tightly and moaned, clutching her stomach.
Hopefully they would pick up that she was having contractions cause she was way too preoccupied to spell it out for them.
"So that went well," Nathan smirked at him from his bunk.
"He probably called," Lucas shrugged, "It'll take them awhile to figure everything out."
"Hey, maybe by the time we get out, we can be show and tell for our kids. Like, 'this is my felony father that I just met for the first time.'"
"Do you live to piss me off?"
"Normally? No," Nathan shook his head, "But for the last few weeks…" he shrugged.
"C'mon, was there really anything better to do?"
"Start writing that book long apology to Haley?"
"All up here," Nathan tapped his temple.
"It must be lonely."
Nathan made a gesture that Lucas had never actually seen before, but marveled at.
"She'll forgive me, right?" Nathan asked after awhile.
Lucas shrugged, "Haley's pretty forgiving, as people go."
"I'm gonna kill my dad if I miss the birth."
"You and me both," Lucas muttered.
"She won't name him something atrocious like…Percy, will she?" Nathan made a face, "He needs a strong name, that you could see him playing basketball some day."
Lucas smirked, "You might want to avoid that approach with Haley."
"It will serve Dan right if his grandchild is named Eugene."
"You do realize that Haley is a tutor, not a sadist," Lucas rolled his eyes.
"OK, obviously you haven't been tutored by her, or you would know there's no difference."
Lucas chuckled, "Brooke's gonna kill me."
"Damn straight, she is," Nathan chuckled.
"You could have given me some hope, you know."
"Honesty is the best policy, Luke-ass."
"Clever. I've never heard that before."
Again, with the gesture.
"Boys, your mom's here to see you," the same guard opened the door.
"Which one?" Lucas frowned.
"I thought you were brothers."
The guard held his hand up, "Save it for Springer."
"Mom!" Nathan grinned and ran to his mother.
Deb smiled and hugged her son, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry he did this to you! I had no idea!"
"Are you getting us out?" Nathan wanted to know, gesturing to Lucas.
"The charges are being dropped."
"Sweet! He caved?"
Deb's lips tightened, "He didn't need to, the car was in my name as well. Hi, Lucas."
"Hey Deb," Lucas smiled shyly, "What now?"
"We go home!" Deb grinned, "You have a girlfriend very anxious to kick your ass, from what I understand."
Lucas shifted nervously, "You know…there's no rush…"
"Mom, I can't go home," Nathan murmured.
Deb surveyed her son, "I hear that you've been busy while I was gone."
Nathan smirked, "It was actually before you left…"
"Nathan!" Deb chuckled. "We're going to the airport. If you decided to fly somewhere else, I guess that's up to you, Nate."
As they taxied into SeaTac, Nathan's heart started to pound like crazy.
"Honey, are you okay?" A stewardess stopped him as he was getting off.
"Fine," he muttered.
The woman grabbed him an extra bottle of water anyway. "Just breathe, you'll be fine."
Marvelous, even strangers knew what a total wreck he was.
The taxi driver eyed him dubiously, no doubt apprehensive about Nathan keeling over before he paid his fare.
Nathan smirked. He should be so lucky. No, no, the way his life was going, he'd keel over the second the driver took off, when he'd already paid the money, but hadn't seen Haley.
That would be just…typical.
He knocked on all viewable wood. Even the fake stuff on the door. Couldn't hurt, right?
Frowning, Nathan repeated the process.
"Here you go, kid," the driver interrupted his superstitious insanity.
"Right, thanks," Nathan gave the man a huge tip in a cramming attempt at extra Kharma points.
Abject terror seemed to have a mystic affect on him.
He knocked on the door quickly, not wanting to lose his nerve.
Nathan knocked again.
What if she was having the baby at this second? What if they asked who the father was and she told them to leave it blank?
What if she named him Melvin?
He banged harder.
He spun around.
"Lucas!" Brooke's eyes lit up as he ran into the waiting room.
"Baby, are you okay?" he kissed her, "Shouldn't you have a room?" he frowned at a nurse, who rolled her eyes.
"We'll be getting Ms. Davis to her room in a few moments."
"I'm still too far apart, pain wise anyway," Brooke threw a glare at the woman, "apparently."
"Well, you're doing great, I'm sorry I'm late."
"Oh, that's okay, baby, I know you were caught up," she squeezed his hand, "SON OF A BITCH!" Brooke's fingers clamped into him as her eyes widened.
Lucas bit back his automatic response: there were kids in the room.
"MOTHERFUCKER!" Brooke screamed.
At just that moment, her room became available.
One particularly horrified young father muttered something like 'Thank God.'
Brooke shot colorful insights back at him as they wheeled her away.
"Brooke! Lucas! What are you guys doing here?"
Brooke glared back at her, "Lucas! I thought that bitch said I got a private room!"
"I think that was before you took out the serviceman with your laser vision, baby."
"Heh," Brooke cracked a grin, "Oh that."
"Hey Jake," Lucas noticed his presence.
"Hey, man," Jake nodded. "Heard you had some car trouble."
Lucas snorted, "Just a little."
"Well, it's good to see you back, how's Nathan?"
"Probably getting his ass kicked by Haley at this point," Lucas checked his watch.
"Hold up," Brooke held up a hand, "I can't help but notice that the focus is off me. Normally, I would pout in silence…but I'M.IN.LABOR!"
Lucas smiled, "I missed you so much."
She nodded, "Better."
Peyton smiled. Ah, Brooke. May she never change.
"You doing okay?" Jake squeezed her hand.
"I've got at least thirty seco-ahhhh!" she screamed and tried to focus on her breathing.
Cause that made it better. Bastards.
"DISCOMFORT MY ASS!" Brooke joined her, "GIVE ME A FUCKING EPIDURAL!"
Peyton nodded in agreement. Enough of this shit.
He was there. He came.
Haley couldn't decide whether to collapse in his arms or beat the shit out of him for playing with her emotions. What was he thinking?
"Haley…" he breathed her name in that annoying, sexy way of his.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you, look, we had this horrible misunderstanding-"
Haley raised her eyebrows, "I'm failing to see what could have possibly been misunderstood!"
Nathan's eyes focused on her stomach and she shifted uncomfortably. "You had him."
"Is he okay? Are you okay? What's his name? I should have been here-"
Haley snorted, "Yes, you should have. If you were coming at all, what took you so long?"
"I really think you should sit down for this. Where is he?"
"Napping. My sister's in there with him."
"Why didn't they answer?" He pouted.
"Did you ring the bell?"
She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
He did knock. "I knocked," he stated defensively.
Haley walked past him and opened the door, "You coming in?"
"Can I see him?"
"You can sit on the couch."
Nathan shrugged. It had been a long trip, you take what you can get.
"Water?" Haley tossed him an Aquafina before he could respond and it didn't seem like the time to mention his decided preference for Evian. "No. We don't have Evian," she glared at him.
Nathan goggled at her. How did she do that?
"So, you're here," Haley crossed her arms over her chest, "Why?"
"Look, I got your letter-"
"I sent that two months ago!"
"Only got it one month ago, you might want to talk to someone about that-"
"Nathan-" She was running out of patience. Her tone was marvelously reminiscent of the trigonometry incident of '05. It is spelled 'sin.' Was it so wrong to read into it?
"Right, the letter. I got the letter and I was mad, right?"
"MAD? YOU? Why were YOU mad? You had no right to-"
Nathan glared at her. Woman, I'm talking! "Wo-umm…Haley, can you just let me get through this, please? I'm trying to tell you something really important."
She sat back in her seat, "Go on."
Blinking in surprise, Nathan continued his story, "I started to think that maybe I had gotten a few things wrong about the situation."
Haley motioned for him to continue, but to her credit, didn't say anything.
"Okay," he ran his hand through his hair, "You're really going to want to kick my ass."
Her eyebrows shot up and she smirked.
"Seriously, more than now. But just…remember that murder is illegal and you have your son to think of."
She made no promises.
"OK, that day at the café, we might have had a tiny misunderstanding about the baby. See…I sorta thought," Nathan fidgeted as he observed her, the mother of his child, his future murderess, "…that it was Jake's."
He braced himself for impact.
Haley made no noise. The dropping jaw was actually the only sign of life she betrayed.
"Tim told me-" he rushed into an explanation.
That got her attention, "You listened to TIM about ME?"
"He said Thereasa said she heard you and Peyton talking about it in the locker room-" Nathan grimaced, hearing himself, "OK, you can hit me."
"Nathan, why didn't you ASK me?"
"Why didn't you tell me before you were, what, six, seven months pregnant?"
He had her on that one. Damn him.
"I just didn't want to be part of like, the Nathan Scott Harem of pregnant women and Tim," she shrugged.
Nathan choked. "The what?"
"You were so trapped when Peyton told you," Haley shrugged, "I didn't want to trap you even more, so I just…procrastinated."
"Haley," his voice softened and her pulse jumped, "I felt trapped because I wasn't with Peyton anymore. I wished it was you," Nathan slid into the seat next to her and Haley didn't have the presence of mind to remove her fingers from grabbing distance.
"But two children, Nathan-"
He pressed a kiss to her palm and Haley tried to recall the very good point she'd been on the verge of making.
"Just one," Nathan shook his head, "Ours."
"Turns out our friend Peyton got around a bit," Nathan shrugged.
"But Lucas took the test-"
Nathan glared at her, "You knew about that too? Geez, Haley!"
"Were you saying something? I thought there was talk of you thinking I was sleeping with Jake…"
"Tests, gossip…all in the past where it should remain. Now, where is my son?"
"Still sleeping. And he's a Scott. I really don't recommend waking him."
Nathan beamed at that statement.
"Peyton's baby really isn't yours?" she asked in a small voice.
"Really isn't mine."
"Is it Lucas's? Poor Brooke."
"Nope," Nathan snickered.
"What!? Then who was it?"
"Ahh, the ultimate question…"
"We're calling," Haley insisted, grabbing a cell phone off the coffee table.
"You have a cell?!" he gaped at her.
"It's my sister's…she got it when they disconnected the main-" her eyes widened as she stared at him, "Oops."
"YEAH," he nodded, "Oops is right."
Haley darted away from him as she dialed. "Lucas?"
Nathan captured her against the fridge and she didn't even make a valiant attempt to escape his clutches. Coy little vixen.
"What was that now?" Nathan questioned as she hung up.
"Brooke was in labor…there was some background mention of never having sex again and the line went dead," Haley chuckled.
"I'm sorry I missed it, Haley, I wanted to be there for you."
"I called you a lot of bad names," she shrugged. "I believe there was mention of undying hatred."
"I tried to get to you, but my dad-"
"Had you arrested for stealing his car?"
Nathan blinked, "How did you know that?"
"Lucas of the thirty second phone conversation?"
"He got right to the point."
"I guess…" Nathan muttered. "What else did he say?"
"That you love me and I should give you a break because you're at the disadvantage of being one of the stupidest people alive," she grinned.
"There is no way that sentence would have fit into the conversation."
"Poetic license," Haley shrugged.
"Part of it was true," Nathan shrugged.
"As your tutor, I am only well aware," she sighed.
"Other part," he glared at her playfully.
"There was another part?" Haley frowned, "I don't seem to recall…"
"I love you. Okay? I was a complete jackass and you could undoubtedly do better, but they wouldn't be half as insanely in love with you as I am. Happy?"
A loud wail interrupted their conversation.
"He's up!" Nathan's eyes lit, "Where is he?"
Haley pulled him up the stairs where someone he could only assume was her sister was fussing with the singularly most breathtaking baby he'd ever seen.
And not in the way he normally told people that their baby was breathtaking. This one was cute.
Haley made introductions, but he ignored them in light of the little guy being placed in his arms.
"Isn't he beautiful?" Haley cooed next to him.
"He looks like us, Hales," Nathan shook his head, "Wasn't that a given?"
To his amazement, she seemed pleased with this comment. The world was becoming an interesting place with little… little…
"What's his name?"
Haley shifted, "You know I love you, Nathan," she captured his lips in a sweet kiss that he wanted to explore more when there wasn't a baby in between them.
"Lucas," she bit her lip.
No. No. It was worse than he'd feared.
"…middle name?" Nathan asked hesitantly.
"Lucas Jacob Scott," Nathan kissed his son's forehead and he heard Haley sigh in relief.
Dan Scott was such a dead man.
"Thank you all for coming," Deb smiled at the meeting of terrified young parents of Tree Hill, anonymous.
"It's pretty much where we hang out anyway," Lucas shrugged, looking around the café.
"I wanted to talk to you kids because I have a present for the girls."
Brooke's eyes lit up, "What? What?"
"I know this is going to be hard for you, you've no doubt already discovered that."
"I met someone…while I was away and I thought I would let you girls use something I won't be needing anymore."
"What's that?" Nathan frowned.
"The Beach House. Part of my allotment from the divorce proceedings."
Haley gasped and Little Lucas squawked at the announcement. This, of course, only encouraged 'Abigail' and 'Tristan' (Brooke's choice) to join in the racket.
"Obviously there are pros and cons to this idea," Deb commented dryly, "But it is yours for as long as you need it."
"What about us?" Nathan wanted to know.
"Well, Nathan, you may stay as long as the ladies wish…so you better behave."
Nathan conducted an only vaguely audible bitch fest about never being forgiven for tiny little misunderstandings.
"So how was your trip back, you guys?" Brooke plopped down next to Haley and cooed about little Lucas, the 'tied for second cutest baby ever.'
Privately, Nathan and Haley were more than aware that their child was far cuter than any of the others, but magnanimously allowed Brooke her delusions.
"So what's up with this, Sawyer," Nathan gestured between Peyton and Jake. "Am I correct in assuming that this is the mystery father we've been wondering about?"
Peyton blushed, "In every way that matters," she squeezed Jake's hand, "But we've only been together a few months."
"You have to tell me, Peyton," Haley begged, "I've been dying ever since I found out."
"Common sentiment," Peyton sighed, "You know that game night, right after Nathan and I broke up?"
Brooke snickered and everyone exchanged glances.
"I may have some vague recollection of it," Haley smiled.
"Vague, my ass," Nathan muttered.
Peyton ignored her ex-boyfriend's pouting and continued the story, "I went to a party after the game…the last thing I remember it talking to that guy Nick, that works at the seven eleven? You know him?"
"Oh, sure," Nathan nodded, "That's where I used to get…" his voice trailed off.
"…condoms," Brooke's eyes widened.
Jake choked on laughter.
Every eye in the room glared at him.
"Oh, what? You know that's funny."