Margarita Confessions

By Katie Phillips

January 2004

Disclaimer Info: I know they don't belong to me and I appreciate

CC letting Scully go out for the evening.

Rating: PG-13 No sex happens in this story, but it is discussed

Keywords: MSR, Humor

Spoilers: Triangle, but only a little

Archive: Sure, why not. Just let me know where.

Feedback: It makes me very happy. E-mail me at

Summary: Scully's friend Ellen prompts Scully, with the help of a

few margaritas, to confront Mulder about his feelings for her.

Special thanks to Sallie who helped this become a better story.

Dedication: This story is dedicated to anyone who has had one (or

two) too many and made a bit of a fool out of themselves.


Dana Scully nibbled on a nacho as she listened to her friend Ellen

gently interrogate her about her partner. While Scully rarely

shared her personal feelings on anything, let alone Mulder, with

Ellen she was different. They had known each other forever, and

they kept very little from each other. Ellen had just moved back

into the DC area and was dying to catch up.

"Dana." Ellen sucked a large glop of sour cream off her finger.

"Have you and Mulder made it official yet?"

Scully looked at Ellen over the top of her margarita glass,

eyebrows raised. "Official? What are you talking about?"

Ellen took a sip of her own drink and looked at Scully

suspiciously. "You two aren't still in the closet, are you?"

Scully put down her drink and gave Ellen a baffled look. "Let me

put it simply Dana, since you seem to be playing dumb tonight. Have

you and Mulder let people in on the fact that you're seeing each


Finally understanding, Scully shook her head and smiled at her

friend. "Ellen, Mulder and I aren't involved like that. We're

just partners, nothing more. What made you think we were seeing

each other?"

Ellen put her head back and roared with laughter, causing the

people at the next table to glance over at her. "Oh Dana, that's

priceless! You don't have to keep up the professional image with

me. I'm your best friend. God, I know all your best secrets. You

can't fool me."

Scully, who was chewing on a large bite of nachos, shook her head.

"I'm telling you the truth Ellen," she said with her mouth still

partially full. "There's nothing between us. Really."

Ellen gave Scully a long hard look as if to appraise the validity

of her statement. "Dana Scully are you trying to tell me that

there is nothing romantic going on between you and Fox Mulder?"

Scully took another bite of nachos and nodded her head. "Nothing

between you and the man who spent God only knows how much of his

own money to travel all the way to Antarctica to save your life?

Are you really telling me that he has never mentioned how he feels

about you?"

Scully began to shake her head but stopped mid-shake. "Well, there

was that time after he almost drowned." She stared off into space

as if trying to visualize the scene.

"Go on." Ellen prodded her.

Scully took another drink of her margarita before speaking. "He

was investigating what he referred to as a 'ghost ship,' and he

almost drowned. He was still in the hospital and after he told me

about what had happened on the ship--remind me to tell you about

that later--he said. . . "

"Don't stop now Dana." Ellen signaled to the waiter to bring

another round. The night was getting more interesting by the

minute. "Tell me what he said."

"He said 'I love you Scully.'"

Ellen was surprised at the hint of disappointment in Scully's

voice. "Dana, that's wonderful. What did you say to him?"

Scully was staring at the plate of nachos as if it was the most

interesting thing in the world. "Oh brother!"

"Don't 'Oh brother!' *me*, Dana Scully. Tell me exactly what you

said and how you said it, and what Mulder said back to you."

Scully snorted and finally looked up from the plate of nachos.

"You misunderstood me Ellen. I said 'Oh brother!' to him. He was

pretty heavily drugged at the time, so I figured. . . ."

"I can't believe you Dana. After all these years, he finally says

it and you put him down." Ellen shoved more nachos into her mouth,

but kept talking. "I guess the real question here is whether or not

he meant it. If he did, he was probably waiting for some sort of

sign from you . . ."

Scully stopped her by grabbing her hand. "Ellen, what makes you

think he meant it? That he even knew what he was saying?"

Ellen smiled and shook her head. "Dana, have you ever noticed the

way he looks at you when he thinks no one is paying attention?"

"No, how?"

"Pretty much the same way you look at him."

"And how exactly do I look at him?"

"You have that 'eyes of love' look, like he's the most important

person in the universe."

"Oh." Scully didn't know what to say. How could she have been so


"Drink up my dear. You'll need your courage tonight."

"Why?" Scully was starting to feel nervous.

"We're going to have one more drink, or maybe two, and then I'm

going to drop you off at Mulder's apartment. You have to find out

how he feels about you."

"What if he doesn't feel the way you think he does?" Scully

clutched at the margarita the waiter presented to her.

"That's simple, you just apologize like crazy for being 'so drunk'

when you showed up at his apartment. You can blame it all on the


Scully looked at her friend with grudging admiration. "You're one

devious woman Ellen. We'd better make the last drink a double."


Fox Mulder wandered around his apartment aimlessly dribbling his

basketball, trying desperately to think of something to do. Most

Fridays he managed to come up with some sort of excuse to visit

Scully at her apartment, but tonight she was out with her friend


He felt bad for himself but glad for Scully. She hardly ever got

to socialize. Her work on the X-files had disrupted or severed the

relationships she'd had with most of her friends. The only person

he knew she kept in constant contact with was Ellen. Even when

Ellen and her family had moved temporarily to California, he knew

that Scully called her at least every other week.

Mulder had met Ellen on several occasions and liked her very much.

When she was around, Scully seemed to take life less seriously. So

much so, that the last time Ellen visited, it had taken Scully a

full forty-eight hours to get over her hangover.

Mulder threw his basketball into the corner and plopped himself on

the couch. He picked up the remote and began surfing through the

channels. He had gone through all 121 channels twice, finding

nothing to interest him, when he finally broke down and flipped

over to the Skin channel. He leaned back and sighed as he watched

the two women on the screen begin to peel the clothes off the man

sandwiched between them. It wasn't as much fun as hanging out with

Scully, but it beat the hell out of watching C-SPAN all night.


Mulder jerked awake at the sound of knocking on his door. He

glanced at his watch and was surprised to see it was only 10:30 PM.

He got up, turned off the TV and stretched, before heading for the

door. He was a bit surprised that the sight of two women going down

on the man on his TV screen hadn't been stimulating enough to keep

him awake.

Mulder looked through the peephole and saw a slightly swaying

Scully. He took a deep breath as he opened the door, thinking that

only bad news could have dragged Scully away from her friend and to

his doorstep.

She staggered past him into the living room. When she turned to

face him she promptly fell off one of her shoes. Looking totally

annoyed she bent over and pulled them both off, flinging them over

her shoulder in the process. One landed on Mulder's desk and the

other bounced off his fish tank. "I hate being short Mulder!" She

walked up to Mulder and tilted her head way back so she could see

his face. "And I really hate having to wear heels all the time.

Do you have any idea what a pain in the neck it is to have to wear

them every single day of your life just so people don't think that

you are as short as you are?"

Mulder didn't speak but shook his head in response to the question.

He had only seen Scully drunk once before and was very interested

to find out why she had come to him in this condition. "How much

did you have to drink Scully?" he asked, fighting the urge to still

her swaying body.

Scully snorted but stopped to think before answering. "Two beers

and one. . .no, two. . .no, three margaritas." She smiled up at

Mulder trying hard to focus on his face. Ellen was right, he was

really good looking. She leaned a bit closer to him and whispered

"We talked about you Mulder. Ellen thinks you're hot."

Scully swayed a bit more and Mulder reached out to steady her.

"Maybe you should sit down Scully."

"Okey dokey." Scully allowed Mulder to lead her to the couch and

sat when he gave her a tiny push down. "Don't suppose you have

anything to drink here Mulder."

"Sure, I'll make some coffee." Mulder turned and began to head for

the kitchen.

"No Mulder! No coffee yet!" Scully said a bit too loudly. "I

don't want coffee yet. If I do, I won't be able to ask you." This

comment fascinated Mulder almost as much as it worried him. What

could possibly make Scully so uncomfortable that she had to get

drunk to talk to him about it?

Mulder started the coffee before pulling two beers out of the

fridge. He fought the urge to let his imagination run wild,

forcing himself to wait to see what Scully had to say. He grabbed

a bottle opener and headed for the living room, stopping abruptly

when he realized that Scully had flipped on the television and was

watching it intently.

Mulder stood between his partner and the TV set, laughing as Scully

leaned over, trying to see around him. "Move Mulder, I want to see

whether or not she sleeps with him." Mulder put down the beers and

sat down beside her, taking the remote from her hand.

Scully moaned with disappointment, as Mulder pushed the 'off'

button. "I'll tell you a little secret Scully. She has sex with

him several times."

"Glad someone is getting it tonight." Scully mumbled before

leaning back. She gave Mulder a sidewise glance and a smile slowly

spread across her face.

"What?" Mulder asked, thoroughly enjoying this brand-new side of


"I was thinking about what Ellen said. She's right you know, you

are hot."

Mulder managed to keep his voice serious, stifling a laugh.

"Thanks, Scully."

"You are more than welcome Mulder. I do have a question though,

Mulder." He raised his eyebrows encouraging her to continue.

"Being as hot as you are, you could have any woman in the Bureau.

Hell, you could have probably any woman at all." "Why bother

with *that*," she waved a hand at the television. "when you can get

the real thing any time you want?"

Mulder paused before answering. He wanted to make sure he got it

right. One wrong word and Scully could be out the door and in a

cab on her way home. "Did you ever stop to think that I don't want

just any woman?"

Scully looked at him shocked. "Oh my God Mulder, are you gay? You

could have told me, I would have understood. Some of my best

friends are . . ."

Mulder silenced her by placing a finger on her lips. "I think I

should have stated my position a little more clearly Scully." He

removed his fingers and waited until he saw her eyes focus in on

him. "First, for the record, I am not now, nor have I ever been,


"Thank God!" Scully sighed, swaying as she leaned over to pick up

her beer. Mulder found her response curious but chose not to

pursue it, at least not now.

He took the beer from her hand, forcing her to look at him again.

"Second of all Scully, the reason I don't go picking up women to

satisfy my male urges, is because I don't want to."

"Why not, don't you like sex?" Scully looked at him puzzled.

Mulder stifled another chuckle. "I love sex Scully. In fact,

there are few things in life I like better. I don't want to

because I don't think it's right."

"Oh, you're against premarital sex. That is disappointing,


"Scully, I'm not against premarital sex. If I was, how would I

know that I liked it so much?"

"Oooh, good point."

"Thank you Scully. I don't think it is right to sleep with one

woman when you are in love with another."

"Mulder, you're confused. I'm not in love with another woman. I'm

not even gay."

Mulder chose to ignore the mental image that had just popped into

his head. "I know you aren't gay Scully, I was speaking more


"Oh, Okay. Let's see if I have this straight. . .no pun intended.

You love sex, which is great, especially since I think you would be

the kind of man who actually makes sure a woman enjoys herself. ."

She stopped then, having totally lost her train of thought.

Mulder, who was enjoying the conversation immensely, leaned closer

to Scully so his lips were close to her ear. "I always make sure

the woman enjoys herself."

Scully turned until their lips were almost touching, their eyes

locking. "You do?"

Mulder leaned even closer. "I do."

Mulder's lips had almost reached their destination when Scully gave

him a gentle shove. "I gotta pee Mulder." She wiggled off the

couch and hurried into the bathroom, surprising Mulder with how

much grace she still possessed. He scolded himself for almost

kissing her. There were rules about taking advantage of a drunk

woman, and Mulder knew he was on the verge of breaking every single

one of them.

Scully returned a minute later and plopped herself back on the

couch, turning once again towards Mulder, and crossing her legs

Native American style. She looked much younger and absolutely


"Where were we Mulder?" Scully became silent as she tried to

remember. Mulder hoped that she had forgotten that he was about to

kiss her. "Oh yeah, you had just told me how much you liked sex

and that you were waiting for someone special."

Mulder nodded, relieved that she had forgotten about the near-kiss.

Scully grabbed the remote and clicked the TV on. Within seconds

they were witnessing a dark-haired man ravaging a blonde with his

mouth. "How can you watch this stuff Mulder? She's not even a real


Mulder glanced at the set and then at her partner. "How do you

know that Scully?"

Scully looked at him like he was an idiot. "The hair on her head

doesn't match the hair, um, elsewhere." She looked back at the TV,

tilting her head as if trying to get a better look at what the man

was doing. "I'm a real redhead. You know that, don't you Mulder?"

Mulder answered her quickly, afraid Scully would try to prove her

point. "Yeah Scully. Everything about you is real."

"Damn right!" Scully said, looking back at the TV. "I guess I can

see some of the appeal of these movies." She sounded almost like

her normal self, analyzing a piece of evidence Mulder had presented

to her. "It does make me feel . . ."

Mulder grabbed the remote and snapped off the TV. Scully began to

pout, when he tossed the controller across the room. "Come on

Mulder, don't you want to watch porn with me?"

"Maybe some other time, Scully." Mulder was trying desperately to

regain control of the evening, *and* his partner.

"Promises, promises." Scully frowned when she realized that she

had finished her beer. She shook the bottle for a minute as if by

doing so, it would magically be refilled. She looked at Mulder who

shook his head. "Spoil sport." She put the bottle down and leaned

sideways so her head rested on the sofa cushion.

"You still love her, don't you Mulder?"


"They have plenty of crop circles in England, Mulder. They would

keep you busy for awhile until you get a job at Scotland Yard."

Mulder had been able to follow most of Scully's rambling

conversation, but was now totally confused.

"What are you talking about Scully?"

"I'll take care of the X-files for you Mulder. The Gunmen can help


"Why would I leave the X-files?"

"To be with *her*, silly. The woman you love."

Mulder took a minute to process everything Scully had said. "Are

you talking about Phoebe?"

"Of course I'm talking about Phoebe. Mulder you are such an idiot

sometimes. You know you still love her."

Mulder leaned over and grabbed Scully by both shoulders forcing her

to sit up. "Look at me, Scully." He voice was loud enough that

she felt compelled to comply. His eyes were darker than normal,

and burned with a subtle anger. "I am only going to say this once

and I want you to believe me."

"I want to believe, Mulder." Scully tried to keep herself focused.

"Unless you're talking about aliens. I'm not quite sure I will

ever totally believe in aliens."

Mulder clamped his hand over her mouth. "Scully, I'm not in love

with Phoebe Green, and I have not been in love with her for a long

time. I'm not sure I ever was *really* in love with Phoebe anyway.

Our relationship was pretty much only physical." He removed his

hand from her mouth.

"Got it Mulder. You don't love her but you did love having

premarital sex with her."

Mulder sighed with frustration. Part of him wanted to bring Scully

back to her apartment and see her tucked safely into bed. The

other part of him sensed an opportunity to nudge their relationship

along a bit. He would have to be careful though, very careful.

Scully leaned toward Mulder slightly, and whispered in his ear.

"I'm glad you're not in love with her, Mulder."

She leaned back a bit too fast, and ended up lying on her back

staring at the ceiling. This time Mulder didn't bother to stifle

his laugh, as he bent over, grabbed Scully's hand, and tugged her

back to a sitting position. She smiled at him briefly, but her

smile was quickly replaced by a frown.

"You don't think I am pretty, do you Mulder?"

Mulder was a bit taken back by the question, but it suddenly dawned

on him what Scully had been trying to say all evening. "No, I

don't Scully."

Scully sighed deeply, her shoulders slumped in defeat. She had her


Mulder put one finger under her chin and lifted it until her eyes

met his. It broke his heart to see the sadness there. "I don't

think you're pretty Scully. I think you're the most beautiful

woman I have ever seen." He watched her face closely as she

absorbed his words. The frown was replaced by a smile, which was

then quickly replaced by a look of confusion.

"I wasn't sure you meant what you said when you said it. You were

pretty drugged up at the time Mulder. Even so, I probably should

have told you right then and there how I felt, instead of

pretending I didn't believe you."

Once again Mulder had no clue what Scully was talking about, and

watched her closely as she got up from the couch and began to

wobble unsteadily back and forth across the room. Scully often

paced when she was trying to figure something out, and Mulder found

it interesting that she did the same thing even when she was drunk.

"If you really meant what you said, then why haven't you done

something about it?" Scully stared at him intently. "All this

time and nothing. Nothing at all." Having finished her little

speech she stumbled over to the wall and leaned her forehead

against it. "At least I know where I stand now. Could you call me

a cab please? I think I want to go home."

Mulder got up and walked over to her. Placing one hand on either

side of her face, he leaned in and held her head still, so he had

her complete attention. "Where was I when I said whatever it is

you're talking about to you Scully?"

Scully released a rather unladylike snort. "What happened to that

photographic memory of yours Mulder? You were in the hospital, you

had just been pulled out of the ocean."

Mulder smiled. Finally something that made sense. Scully, in a

very round-about way, was asking him about the time he had told her

that he loved her. Mulder tightened his grip on her shoulders, and

peered at Scully intently. She was swaying a bit more now. "What

is it that you came here to ask me, Scully?"

She looked up at him and saw only tenderness in his eyes.

Tenderness and something else, although she was too fuzzy to

recognize exactly what it was. Scully felt herself getting dizzier

by the minute. "Did you mean it Mulder?"

Mulder had opened his mouth to answer, when he saw Scully's eyes

roll back in her head. He caught her as she slumped forward, and

lifted her limp body with ease. He carried Scully into his room,

and lowered her gently to his bed. Mulder bent to kiss her

forehead, and covered her with a light blanket. "Sweet dreams,



Scully opened her eyes a crack and the slight light in the room

caused her to shut them immediately. She tried again, and this

time was able to keep them open. Thankfully the room was shrouded

in darkness. The blinds over the windows had been drawn so only

small streaks of light were able to get in.

As she slowly gathered her wits, Scully realized that she had

absolutely no idea where she was, or how she had gotten there. She

closed her eyes again, willing her head to stop pounding long

enough for her to remember. Slowly her memory returned.

Drinks with Ellen. Lots of drinks with Ellen. What then? She

vaguely remembered discussing Mulder with Ellen at great length,

and then getting into a cab and heading over to his apartment. She

opened her eyes with a start and looked around her. She was lying

in Mulder's bed. She took a deep breath and lifted up the covers.

She sighed in relief when she saw that only her shoes had been


"Oh no!" Scully sat up quickly, causing her head to spin, as she

remembered not only how she had removed her shoes, but pretty much

everything else that had happened the night before. She leaned

back against the pillows hoping against hope that she hadn't

totally destroyed all of Mulder's respect for her.

Mulder must have heard her, for the bedroom door opened and he

walked in carrying a tray holding a large glass of water, aspirin

and most importantly, two cups of coffee. He put down the tray and

handed Scully the glass of water and two aspirin tablets. "Here

Scully, before you say anything, take these." When she'd swallowed

the pain reliever, he passed her a cup of coffee. He picked up the

other one and motioned to the bed. "May I?" Scully nodded, not

able to meet his eyes.

"How are you feeling Sleepy Head?" Scully looked up at him and saw

nothing but affection in his eyes. "Do you realize it is almost


Scully shook her head and closed her eyes, savoring the coffee she

was sipping. She opened her eyes and found Mulder watching her

intently. No doubt he was wondering how much she remembered.

"Thanks Mulder." She said it under her breath. She didn't

particularly want to discuss the night before but knew that she

couldn't avoid it for long.

"If you're wondering Mulder, I think I remember everything, only

I'm hoping that I wasn't as big a fool as I think I was."

"You're very cute Scully, when you've had too much to drink. You

should go out on the town more often." He tucked a piece of hair

behind her ear, wondering if now would be the right time to clarify


"Mulder, did I really ask you if you liked sex?" Scully could feel

a blush creep across her face, and she couldn't quite bring herself

to look at him.

"Yes you did. You also seemed to be quite happy to find out that I


Scully's blush grew a deeper shade of red. "Did I ramble on about

the night we pulled you out of the ocean?" She glanced at him out

of the corner of her eye. He looked more amused than annoyed. She

didn't ask anything else, continuing to sip her coffee and stare at

a small speck on the bed.

"You did ask me something about that, you know. Right before you

passed out."

Scully looked up at him and smiled weakly. "I guess I missed your

answer." She put the coffee cup back on the tray and positioned

herself so she was leaning against the headboard. She wasn't sure

what his answer had been, but knew that she had to find out


Mulder saw Scully steel herself in preparation for his answer, and

immediately felt sorry for her. He put down his coffee cup and

climbed up farther on the bed so he sat beside her. He leaned his

head back against the headboard and looked at her. "We watched

porn together, Scully."

"We did?" That particular memory had evaded her. "Oh we did."

Scully suddenly remembered the sight of the man having oral sex

with a woman, and cringed. Mulder saw her expression and gave her

a gentle poke in the ribs with his elbow. "Last night you said

porn turned you on. I thought you were going to ask to borrow my

private collection. Unless you rather to watch it *with* me. . ."

Scully chuckled. She knew Mulder was trying to lighten the mood.

She appreciated his effort but couldn't stand not knowing any

longer. She turned and looked directly at him. "What did I ask

you Mulder?"

He looked at her with such intensity that it almost took her breath

away. His eyes seemed to be smoldering with emotion. "You asked

me if I meant it." His eyes held hers, daring her to look away.

Scully saw the challenge in Mulder's eyes, and didn't flinch. "Did

you Mulder? Did you mean it?"

His eyes softened immediately and he reached over and stroked her

face tenderly. "Yeah Scully, I meant it." He leaned over and

kissed her lightly on her forehead. "I plan to start proving it to

you as soon as you feel up to it."

Scully smiled and scrambled out of bed, the pain in her head

notwithstanding. "Where are you going?" Mulder asked, amazed that

Scully could even move.

"Stay right there Mulder. I'm going to find more aspirin."


End of story