Place In This World


Disclaimer: I don't own em, but I do play with them...ALOT. I make no money so back up and keep ya eyes off my sci-fi collection ya ankle biters.

And a Huge Thanks to "Qui Gons Padawan". Yes I got the review and I Thank you for your kind words. I watched what I wrote in this one. giggles

Warnings: Yes, It's me again. After the great reviews and kind words from the first songfic I done, I was encouraged to write another. So, here's my latest torture giggles

Set during the Jedi Apprentice book #5, when Obi-Wan stayed on Melida/Daan and is comtemplating whether or not to contact the Jedi to tell them what happened.

Song by Michael W. Smith HUGE THANK YOUS
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"What am I doing here?" young Obi-Wan Kenobi asked out into the darkness. As expected, nothing but silence answered.

He sighed heavily, pulling his thin robe tighter around his form and staring out into the night. The stars seemed to mock him, twinkling with some secret galactic joke that failed to fall on the young man.

The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled


Was is it so long ago that he once called himself a Jedi? The past couple of weeks had become a flurry of events that seemed to run together.

First he was sent to AgriCorps to become a farmer, then he was thrown into the middle of a blood fued between Qui-Gon and Xanatos. He was offered to be Qui-Gon's padawan upon the near ending of his life. And he was sent to this war riden world of Melida/Daan in an effort to bring peace, and his title wasn't even noted, let alone celebrated in the traditional fashion with a ceremony.


A heart that's hopful
A head that's full of dreams
If this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like....


He had befriended the young leaders of the rogue group "The Young" in an effort to bring stability to the waring planet. When they needed him, he even defied orders, and risked the lives of his Master and a fallen comrade. When the decision came to either stay or return home, he had choosen with his heart, or so he thought.


The wind whipped up and Obi-Wan shivered against the thin material, a single tear escaping his saddened eyes.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Cerasi should be alive, celebrating the peace she and Nield help bring to their planet. Obi-Wan should be with them, sharing in the victory, and having the atmosphere that his friends were safe and alive. Now the streets were littered with bodies, young and elder alike.

Is wasn't supposed to be like this. He should have stayed with Qui-Gon. He SHOULD have obeyed. Why didn't he? Was all this heartache worth it?

With Cerasi's death, Obi-Wan had been singled out and blamed for the incident, though he did his best to prevent it. He was even called and Outsider by the very people whom he fought to protect, and would have given his life for.

Now he was cast out, by the Young and the Jedi. No one, no where, wanted what was left of a confused and striken boy. Not even the Force gave him comfort. It would elude him, often leaving him completely alone and abandoned, forcing him to deal with his situations on his intuition alone.

Was it enough? When Cerasi died in his arms he had his answer. NO. Nothing was worth this heartache and misery. The violence had been uncalled for, unprovoked. Only the bitterness of a waring race fueled the anger and hate, and Cerasi had paid for it with her life.

I'm looking for a reason
Roaming through the night
To find my place in this world
My place in this world
Not alot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world


Obi-Wan fought back the tears, but it was too late. They made silent tracks down his cheeks and a terrible pain shot through his heart. Cerasi's face flashed behind his closed eyes, her bright eyes shining no more as her body went limp.

If the Young no longer seen him as one of their own, then why should he remain? But where to go? The place had become home and spawned friendship, heartache, victory, and bloodshed, no longer gave him purpose.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and allowed the force to flow around, guiding him as it has done so many times in the past. Now he needed it the most, and opened up all his senses to allow it to totally control him.

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
How can you still their need?
Hear me asking,
"Where do I belong?"
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?
Show me


Visions flashed before his eyes. Some dark and disturbing, others bright and joyous. A strange person, wearing only black wielding a lightsaber searching for him, a small child with soft blue eyes, death camps, Jedi hunted and slaughtered, a grand wedding with a beautiful bride, suffering of billions, the destruction of a planet, a red and black avenger of darkness, a young man full of hope and promise, Qui-Gon dying in his arms.

Obi-Wan's eyes flew open and he inhaled sharply. Qui-Gon? Why would Qui-Gon be in his vision? Why would the force allow such a vision? Obi-Wan was no longer a Jedi.

Unless.

Unless he was supposed to be a Jedi, and be allowed back into the order. And Qui-Gon is the one that has to be the one to teach him. Show him the way, the right path. The one that was strayed from.


There was only one place left to go. The only place that will remain HOME no matter what. He must ask for the Jedi to intervene, the way they were intended to. He HAD to see Qui-Gon, to explain his actions, and beg for forgiveness.

The Jedi would take him back, he was one of their own. Wasn't he? Obi-Wan reached down to the place where his lightsaber used to hang. It felt odd not having his weapon, but then again, nothing had been of the ordinary of late.

He sighed and reached for his transmitter, the one that he kept hidden away from the other Young members. He knew if only the Jedi could come and straighten out this whole mess, then things will be right once again, and he will go back on the right path.

With a heavy heart, he addressed the message to the only one that had never forsaken him, Yoda. Though he tried to be stoic, the fatigue and suffering he endured made him fail miserably.

He only hoped that the Jedi would honor his request, and prayed that Qui-Gon would take him back.

I'm looking for a reason
Roaming through the night
To find my place in this world
My place in this world
Not alot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world



When Qui-Gon exited the transport that brought him back to Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan nearly jumped for joy. But the Master the had a stern expression, and he spoke little, giving Obi-Wan the impression of his rejection and disappointment.

When Qui-Gon looked out over the sea of bodies lining the streets, he seen for the first time what his padawan, EX-padawan, had seen. The suffering and distruction had to end. He could only imagine what Obi-Wan had been subjected to, and his heart grieved for the young boy.


I'm looking for a reason
Roaming through the night
To find my place in this world
My place in this world
Not alot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world


Qui-Gon was afraid to ask Obi-Wan what all he saw, knowing the youth would be at a loss of words. He stopped Obi-Wan, to ask him how he was doing and looked at the younger man's face. Obi-Wan's eyes spoke in a language, not capable of words. The pain, suffering, and inner turmoil clearly shone, and yet something else twinkled within their blue depths.

Hope.

It seemed odd to find hope in the face of one so beaten and abandoned. But yet, the Jedi master found a strange kind of connection flowing between he and Obi-Wan once again. Though he didn't want to admit it, the force was telling him that Obi-Wan was destined to be his padawan.

Qui-Gon acknowledged and finally accepted the revelation. He choose to wait until the time was right to see if Obi-Wan was ready to begin his journey anew. He smiled inwardly, not wanting Obi-Wan to see his concession of their path together.

Putting Obi-Wan's past behind them was going to be a test for both master and padawan, but Obi-Wan had a brillant inner light that cut through the haze of pain, shadows, and regret. But Qui-Gon knew they would get through it, considering that Obi-Wan had helped him sort through his past, and finally put his conscious to rest. Now he was at peace with himself, and looked forward to the long path that laid ahead for him and his exceptional padawan.


I'm looking for a reason
Roaming through the night
To find my place in this world
My place in this world
Not alot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world