A/N: All right, for the first time ever I'm writing the authors note before I even wrote one word of the story. Usually I just add the authors note on top once I'm done writing a part. Okay, while I red a *lot* of Harry Potter fanfic, this is the first time I'm writing it. I'm absolutely nuts. A long time ago I swore to myself that I'd never read HP fanfic and here I am. After that I swore I'd never write it, but here I am. While I've been more nervous in my life, I think this is in the top 10. I place most of the blame for the idea of this story on J.K. Rowling. Kill of my favorite character why don't you? Grrrr. After that I place some on Severitus and a little bit on Starkindler. This is *not* a Severitus challenge however. But the challenge helped set of the idea, and it really hit me while reading Starkindler's story. I'm taking my right of being the writer of this story and picking only some of the events in Order of the Phoenix to use. Like Sirius his past, his house, things like that. It'll be clear in the story I hope. I'm ignoring the main plot however, because I think if I used that I'd have to use the ending as well, and I don't want to! And well, the story is AU anyway. I'm completely insecure about this. Writing HP. So I'd really, *really* appreciate reviews. And if someone feels an urge to offer themselves up to be my beta, I won't say no. I think I could use one. Warning! English is not my first language, it's Dutch. If I make mistakes I apologize, but it's not easy writing a story in another language then your own. As for the dates in the first part, if my memory serves me, those are the correct dates, please correct me if I'm wrong. Okay, thanks for reading my nervous ramble; on with the story (oh lord).


July 31st 1980.

The handsome man was pacing in front of a non-descript door in the hallway. There was nothing special to be seen about the door or the hallway. It was a simple blue door, one of many in the hallway, which was one of many in the building. But to the man, that door, in that hallway, was the most important object in his world at that time. Behind it was his wife giving birth to their first child. And he was worried. He had never been so worried in his entire life. He knew that giving birth was messy and painful, but did it usually hurt so much? His Rose almost passed out from the pain several times, and that was with the anesthetics. And the blood! There had been so much blood! But he really started to worry when they send him out of the room. He knew *that* wasn't normal! His Rose and he had said, several times, that he wanted to be there for the birth. And the doctor agreed. He said he encouraged it, he felt it was important for the father to be there. So why did the doctor send him out of the room? Frustrated the man raked a hand trough his once neatly styled hair and sat down in a chair facing the so important door. It was so quiet, he knew they had silencing charms on the room, because Rose was screaming in pain when he was pushed out of the door and it was quiet as soon as the door closed. The silence both frustrated and scared him. How was he supposed to know what was going on if he couldn't hear or see anything?

Another door, a few doors from the door he was currently facing opened and a tired and sad looking man walked out and took a seat next to him.

"Hey James." The first man said distracted. Yes, he had his thoughts and attention with other things, but he was always aware of what was going on around him. It was too dangerous for him not to. "How's Lily doing?"

The man next to him sighed. "Not good. She's so sad. She's hardly reacting to anything. She just lies there with those silent tears streaming down her face. She hasn't spoken, eaten or slept much since we lost our baby girl. She's send me out here to check on you and Rose. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be in there?"

"Hell yes I should!" Sirius Black exclaimed, jumping up from his chair to resume his pacing. "But they send me out. I know they only send you away when something is going very wrong. And they're not telling me anything! I don't know what to do anymore, James! I'm this close to just knock the damn door down and demand they tell me what's going on with my wife!"

James Potter stood up and grabbed Sirius his arms to make him stop pacing and get his attention. Sirius looked up and James almost reeled back at the amount of fear and despair in his pale blue eyes.

"Hey, don't give up yet! You don't know what's going on, everything can still work out." He said while giving Sirius a little shake. Sirius shook himself loose from his grip, turned around and took a couple of paces before turning and facing James again, fire in his eyes.

"How can you say that? Just yesterday you lost your daughter. Didn't they say Lily lost her because of some disease in her family? They're twins, James! Twins! If Lily lost your baby, who's to say Rose won't loose ours either! You didn't see her! She was in so much pain! And the blood..." All the strength seemed to leave Sirius and he collapsed back into the chair, putting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. "Merlin, there was so much blood. How can everything be all right after she lost all that blood." He whispered.

James kneeled in front of him and put his hand on his shoulder. He knew no words to comfort Sirius. It was true that Lily and Rose Evans, as they where called before they got married, where twins. And usually when Lily broke her arm, it turned out that Rose had to and visa versa. They weren't as close as people usually assumed twins to be, though they had gotten closer after marrying men who where brothers in everything but blood, but they where very similar in matters like that. Just look, they even got pregnant and went into labor around the same time.

"I don't know, Siri." He sighed. "But nothing is written in stone. Rose and your child could still be fine. Maybe they can do something for her they couldn't do for Lily."

"Yeah, you never know." Breathed Sirius.

"Yeah" James repeated while he went to sit into the chair next to Sirius again. And nothing else was said in the following hour. Instead they just stared to that important blue door. Their thoughts either on the woman giving birth behind it or going back a day in time to when they where sitting in front of a door so similar to this one, but with the other half of the twins behind it.

After an hour the door opened and the doctor, his coat covered with blood, came out, looking somber. Sirius took one look at his face and blanched.

"Oh Merlin." He said "She lost the baby didn't she? Let me in. I want to see her."

"Mister Black" the doctor said, stopping Sirius in mid-step. "Your baby is fine. You have a healthy baby boy."

"I do?" Sirius asked, looking confused. He had prepared himself for the worst and seeing the doctor looking so somber, he'd assumed the baby died. "I have a son? I have a son!" He exclaimed turning to James and hugging him, a big smile on his face.

"Congratulations Sirius." James said with a sad smile, hugging him back.

"Mister Black." The doctor interrupted. Sirius turned his smile towards the doctor, but the smile slowly vanished and a frown came to his face when he saw that the doctor didn't look anymore cheerful then when he came out of the room.

"What? What is it?" He asked while he felt a cold hand squeeze his heart. "Is it Rose? It is, isn't it? What's wrong with her?"

"I'm sorry, Mister Black, we did everything we could. But she lost so much blood, so fast. Faster then we could provide the potions to replace it. I'm truly sorry, your wife didn't make it."

Sirius became absolutely pale, contrasting sharply with his black hair. "No" he sighed, stumbling backwards and grabbing the chair behind him for support. "No! NO! Not Rose! She's strong! You're wrong!" And with that he pushed his way past the doctor into the room. When James moved to follow, the doctor stopped him.

"Leave him be for a while, Mister Potter, let him say goodbye to her and get to know his son. There is a nurse in there with him. She can come get you should he need you."

"Yes, you're probably right." James reluctantly admitted. "I'll go and tell Lily. Merlin, how is she going to handle this? First our daughter dies and not even twenty-four hours later her sister." With that he moved of to the room that held his wife.

*~*~*~*~*~a couple of hours later*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily Potter, supported by her husband, knocked on the door to the room where her nephew and brother in law currently where in. Sirius looked up from where he was sitting in a chair by the window, studying his son who he held in his arms.

"Hey." He said softly, so not to wake up to boy in his arms. "How are you? Should you be out of bed?"

"I came to see how you were actually." Lily said, sighing when James lowered her into a chair near Sirius.

"I don't know, Lils." Sirius said. "On the one hand I feel numb. On the other my emotions seem to be all over the place. I'm sad, even though the thought that I lost Rose hasn't really sunken in yet. I'm so incredible happy with my son. My son. My own little miracle. And I'm so scared. So very scared. How the hell am I going to raise him on my own? I'm a wanted man! I'm on Voldemort his top five most wanted list! I'm a top auror, I'm one of the ones on the front line in the war. I'm an important member of the order. How am I going to raise a little boy when I'm not even sure if I'm going to be alive next week?! Even if I gave up my job and my place in the order, that would change nothing for Voldemort. He would still want me dead, if only because of who my family are, because I openly oppose him. Rose and I had it all figured out. But without her.." Sirius' voice broke. He continued so softly that James and Lily had to strain to hear him. "At least when I had Rose, should I be killed, he would still have somebody. But now... now I am all that he has left. We're all the other has left."

James and Lily looked at each other a moment before turning back to Sirius.

"Siri" Lily started "We were thinking about that to. We may have a solution. Nobody knows that I lost our baby yet. What if we quietly contacted Dumbledore and let him arrange for us to adopt your son? We'd tell everybody that both Rose and the baby died. You could move in with us and still be part of his upbringing, but should something happen to you, he'd still have two parents figures. You wanted to make us Godparents, this is not all that different. We'd make you and R." Lily's voice broke before she swallowed her tears and went on. "We'd make you and Rose Godparents of our child anyway, we'd tell everybody that you're his Godfather. You'd still have your son; he'd only be ours to the outside world."

Sirius went over all this in his head. It did seem to be the best solution. Even if he wasn't wanted he wouldn't know how to begin to raise his son on his own. Now he would have help. Plus, by being adopted by the Potters, his son wouldn't have the Black name hanging over his head, like he did. Nobody would expect his son to go to the dark side, like his entire family had, save for him. They wouldn't even have to change the way he looked. James and he both had black hair and were of similar build, people didn't think they where brothers for nothing after all. Rose and Lily where identical twins, whichever parent his son would take after, people would never doubt he was James and Lily's. Besides, people only ever saw what they wanted to see anyway.

"Yes, okay." He said softly. "But, call him Harry. If it was a boy Rose wanted to call him Harry. Harry James Black. Merlin, I never thought I'd be the one left behind." He said with silent tears streaming down his face.

And so Harry James Black became Harry James Potter.


And? So? What did you think? I've never red a story where Sirius is Harry's dad by blood before. Please *please* review! Let me know what you think!