Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. It all belongs to Fox (who is more than just a little unworthy of it), Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy. I own nothing.
Improv: #14, Write a story from the POV of a guest star or recurring character.
Summary: Saffron thinks while sitting in the trash bin after the episode "Trash."
Rating: PG-13 (? – Fair share of Chinese swear words)
Characters: Saffron


It's a sad day when a con artist goes and gets herself conned.

And that's what I am, a con artist. But I wasn't always one. There was a time when I wasn't all that much different that that little mechanic on Serenity. I was a happy child, or as happy as the child of a poor prostitute could be.

I lived with my mama in a small two-room shack on a little settlement town on Whitefall. It wasn't much of a life, always scrimpin' and savin' to make ends meet, but mama did it without any complaints.

Then one day when I was about seven years old I came home from the market to find my mêilì mama lyin' on the kitchen floor in a pool of her own blood, her clear blue eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. She was all I had and I vowed in that moment to kill the heartless liúmáng that took my mama from me.

None of the other settlers in town wanted to take in the orphan child of a whore had they even had the means to take in another mouth to feed. But they were able to tell me that the last person they'd seen leaving my home was Luca Bastion, the man who just about owned the town back then. I knew where my mama had hidden her extra money and I had taken it with me when I left Whitefall.

I'd eventually made my way to Sihnon where I used the money my mama had saved and the money I'd stolen from unsuspecting rich people, who wouldn't miss the little I'd taken from their pockets, and enrolled myself in school.

I knew that if I were to ever get close enough to Luca to kill him, I'd have to have a proper education. That determination helped me to complete school faster than anyone else there. And from there I was able to finagle my way into the school for Companions. I had figured that every little bit would help.

During the eleven years I was away from Whitefall, I had grown up and looked nothing like the awkward child I had been. I knew that would aid me on my return trip. And I was proved to be right.

It was quite easy for me to cozy up to that shizi. I played the innocent young girl, fawning over him, convincing him that I was in love with him. Then, when he least expected it, I killed him. I made sure that it was slow and painful, letting him know just who I was and why he was dying.

After that, I used my whole education to move from man to man, con to con, each heist gaining me more money.

Mal had hit the nail on the head when he suspected that Durran was my first husband. He was. He was so sweet, made me believe that he loved me, and that I could love him. But as time went on I realized that I didn't love him, that I could probably never love him even a quarter as much as he loved me. I missed the freedom I had felt when pulling cons and, on the day I left, I had admitted to myself that I was truly a con artist and was no longer pulling jobs just to get by in life. I had also admitted that I was a gorram good con artist.

That last thought was proved to be true when I was able to con a whole ship into believing that I was just some country bumpkin with very low self-esteem when I was really plotting to get the ship out of their control. And it all would have worked out just fine if that pofù Inara had just minded her own business.

But I had gotten free and was able to continue on with my life. I had never expected to run into Malcolm Reynolds and the crew of Serenity again, but fate always seems to have a way to throw a monkey wrench into my plans. So, upon seeing them again, I went about scamming them the way I knew they'd fall for.

I thought that I'd easily be able to screw them over, but then they knew that I'd probably try that. I guess I underestimated them, thinking them too stupid to catch on. I knew that they didn't trust me, but I really thought that I'd had them near the end. But all that got me was stuck in this gorram trash bin, waiting like fish in a barrel.

So, xièxie nî you heishôudâng liúmáng. Once I get myself out of this situation I'm going to hunt you down like the gôushî bùrú you are and make you sorry you ever crossed me. I promise you that.



Translations (from FireflyFans.Net and LJC's Firefly Stories):

mêilì - beautiful/pretty
liúmáng - bastard
shizi - louse
pofù - bitch
xièxie nî - thank you
heishôudâng liúmáng - gangster asshole/bastard(s)
gôushî bùrú - lower than dogshit/lowest of the low