Mikagami gets drunk

[Christmas party] [Fairy lights, Christmas trees, Garlands, sparkly things, too much red and green]

[Hokage minus Mikagami standing together chatting and talking] [Hundreds of anonymous extras surround]

[Mikagami sits by the side… stoning]

Recca: (laughs like maniac) Oi, Fuuko! That was a good one!

Fuuko: Of course!

Domon: (stars in eyes) Fuuko-sama is a genius at this type of things!

Yanagi: A…ano. (In a soft voice) I don't think it's very fair to Mikagami-sempai.

Fuuko: Oh lighten up, Yanagi! Look at him! He's so repressed. We're doing him a favour. It's high time he let loose for a while. And besides his definition of let loose is smiling.

Recca: Don't worry, Hime, It's good for him. He's suppressed his real personality down for so long, it has to be unhealthy! (smiles at Yanagi)

Domon: (grunts unintelligibly)

Yanagi: (doubtful look on her face) We-ell… I suppose so.

Fuuko and Recca: Yosh!! Let's do it!


Mikagami: (thinking) Good grief this is so boring. (thinks some more) When Mifuyu was around, I would have enjoyed this. (scowling) And she probably would have said    that that was because I liked looking at girls. As if that was true. I was only 10! And besides, it was such a long time ago, I'm not even sure if it were true.

Kaoru: (sneaks up behind Mikagami and switches his Sprite with some heavy duty alcohol- with a dash of soda of course)

Kaoru: (proceeds to run away)

Mikagami: (grabs his glass and takes a swig) (thinks even more) Anyway, who cares? I like the way I am now. No-one bloody approaches me… except the Hokage. And… Woah… (blinks quickly, swaying in his seat) I feel like I'm floating! Fllooooaaattttiiiinnnggggggggggggggggg!!!!!

(suddenly grabs his head) No! He's coming back! I can't let him!! NOOOO!!!!

(silence in Mikagami's head)


Mikagami: (looks up with evil look in his eyes) (pulls of rubber band from his hair and swishes it free, imagine shampoo commercial)

(standing up)

Get ready to rock everyone! The dance king is here!

(starts to gyrate his hips and shake his head wildly)

[extras (both guys and girls) flock to Mikagami]

[Hokage's jaws drop]


[an hour later]

Recca: (slightly green) Oh my god. He's still at it.

[On the dance floor is Mikagami, half dressed and throwing his shirt at girls]

Domon: (grunts. Can't talk properly. He's swimming in his vomit)

Fuuko: (stares at Mi-chan) Who knew Mi-chan was repressing such a personality?

Yanagi: (stares at Mi-chan) Un huh… (eyes slightly glazed).

Recca: Hime? Are you ok? Oh no! She's in shock! Quick call the ambulance.

Yanagi: Oh don't be ridiculous. I'm perfectly fine… (gaze strays to Mikagami doing the samba) I'm… going to the rest room. (runs off)

Recca: (thinks) that's strange. Hime sounds quite distracted.

Fuuko: (laughs) Heh Heh! Mi-chan is so going to die tomorrow!!! Bwahahah Bwahaha!

Recca and Domon: (stop puking) Yeah! Bwahaha Bwahaha!

Kaoru: (…) I think I'm going to be scarred for life.

[laughter continues for 10 minutes]

Fuuko: (wipes tears from eyes) Hey, let's drag Mikagami here, and see how he acts!

Recca: Yeah!

[Domon, Fuuko, Recca head to dance floor]

Fuuko: (squeezes her way through) Oof! This is even worse than the usual fangirls!

Domon: (unable to speak) (Has face stuck in some girl's arm)

Recca: (prying Domon loose) Exactly! They look insane!

[finally after a long and hard struggle wherein Fuuko had to use her fuujin in self defense, they reach the lamp… er I mean Mikagami]

Recca: Hey Mikagami! Let's go over there and talk!

Domon: (grunts)

Mikagami: (raises eyebrow) (doesn't stop grinding his hips to the music) Why should I?

Recca and Domon: (sweatdrop) He's still as arrogant as ever.

Recca: C'mon Iceman! It'll just be for a little while.

Mikagami: (considering look) I like that… Iceman… Makes me sound so cool. Well, you'll have to check with my manager. But… I'll most likely go… if She goes along (looks at Fuuko (or rather Fuuko's breasts) leeringly)

Fuuko: (!) What a pervert! (thinks) Take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. For the sake of tomorrow. For the sake of tomorrow.

Fuuko: (puts on weak smile) ah hah. Sure thing, handsome. (Turns around and pukes)

Recca and Domon: (thinks) Poor poor Fuuko. But sacrifices have to be made.

Recca and Domon: So where's you manager?

Mikagami: (thumbs to his right)

Recca, Domon, Fuuko: (look to his right) YANAGI????!!!!

Yanagi: (looks at Mi-chan with hearts in her eyes) You called, Mikagami-sama?

Recca: But Hime! You love me!!

Yanagi: (eyes narrowed)  I only went out with you because I can order you around. Muahaha. As if I would fall in love with someone as crude as you. Mikagami-sama… (hearts reappear) on the other hand is totally my type of guy…


Yanagi: (to Mikagami) I'm afraid you don't have time for these losers.

Mikagami: (looks at Yanagi)Like I care. I'm going with that babe whether you want me to or not.

Yanagi: But..but..but… I'm your manager!!

Mikagami: (rolls eyes) Get real. You're only my manager because you looked hot… But now I've found an even better chick. (leers at Fuuko)

Fuuko: (turns pale)

Yanagi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (falls to her knees) Why? Why her? I'm so much better than that…that… tomboy!

Mikagami: (ignores her wails) Oh shut up, you whiny brat. I've always liked this one better anyway. (leers at Fuuko…again)

Fuuko: (blushes)

Mikagami: Well lead the way, honey bunch. (winks at Fuuko cheekily)

Fuuko: (nods, slightly dazed, and starts walking with Mikagami behind her)

Mikagami: (pinches her behind)

Fuuko: (gasps)

Mikagami: (chuckles softly)

Recca: (crying)

Domon: (crying even more)

Yanagi: (wailing)

Fangirls: (Wailing)

Kaoru: (to audience) I think it's best if we skip to tomorrow. (mumbles) Who's going to pay for my therapy now?


The next day….

Mikagami: (sits up. Hair messed) (gasps) Oh my god. (Looks around)

Thank god that was just a dream.

Fuuko: Are you sure about that?

Mikagami: (Looks at semi-naked Fuuko next to him) (eyes rolls back) (falls back in a dead faint)

Recca and Domon: (appears behind) Heh Heh Heh. The dream manipulator sure was effective eh?

Fuuko: (laughs)


Kaoru: (from the side) (frowns and seems puzzled) (Thinks) Strange. The Dream Manipulator broke down last night. I'm sure of it… So how come the mission was still successful?

(gasps suddenly)

Fuuko! Is that a bruise on your butt?

Fuuko: huh? (twists and looks down) (gasps)

Trio: (look at one another in horror)


(all of them keels over in a dead faint)

Kaoru: (shakes head) This is what you get when you mess with someone's mind…


AN: Oh god. That was… unbelievably stupid. How did I write that anyway?!!