R - English - Action/Adventure/Drama - Published: 01-17-04 - Updated: 01-17-04 id:1689977



"Perhaps, I am the true villianess after all. I should have killed him, or at least let you and we could have left MY wishes for the fairy tales." She trembled.

"You think that's what I bloody care about? That's not what I want to hear from you and you know it, Love!" William then grabbed her by the forearms and lifted her up onto the desk.

That is when she knew, she had done some unspeakable awful thing. She had been punished for things she had done, but never by him. The punisher's hands had been bigger than William's. They could enclose her whole forearm. Of course they did, she had become a child again with him. It was rather a traditional family. The father punished as the mother mostly stood by idly, but the mother often thought of the punishment.

Drusilla's original family hadn't been that traditional. Her first father could never spend this much time with her, but he had been kind. But, this father and mother could be kind too. They told her they were kinder than her original family, who did not want her any longer because she was an affront to God. The vision's Drusilla saw of the future (and the past, and people's insides and outs, then it was hard to know the order of things. It was hard to know what was the fairy tale and what was real) were welcomed in this family. But, Drusilla seemed to have a wicked nature that tore families and their members apart. The father wanted to make her really one of them. She would be his real daughter now (or not real and his daughter). The mother would not allow it, though. She grew jealous and cruel and the father had to send Drusilla away, or the mother would do something unspeakable as she often did to others. See, the father really did love her. How could he not when he had saved her? He wasn't one to save people usually. Drusilla was special, his little doll, he said.

Drusilla's real family, or what was left of them, then found her, or what was left of her. They DID want her. They wanted her back to who she had been before. She unlearned almost all of her madness and oddities. Her real Mum got her a talking doctor. She realized what she always knew, she was no longer a child and her other family had been evil monsters. The doctor insisted that they were not REAL monsters anymore than she had REAL visions. Wasn't believing these things just a way to stay a child? It was time to put away such childish things. She had her own child now, who was real, and not a doll tossed this way and that. Drusilla was responsible for her.

Her family, now only with its women, was so kind to her. She almost made it back to that girl she had been. But, Drusilla truly did not wish to unlearn all her wickedness. She learned to love her visions. They allowed her to rescue her man and then at least have her child. (She had lost children. They all started to look like dolls then, and they often got lost or broken.) She had made her own family now, and no she was not a child.

Wasn't that what her original family wanted? For Drusilla's mother it was too little, much too late. Her man was the wrong sort of seed. Drusilla was the wrong kind of flower. A Venus flytrap, trying so very hard to be a rose. She had been in the wrong arrangements before. She thought she was properly arranged now with her own family. But, all the wilting flowers in her original family arrangement, didn't think so.

The talking doctor explained to her mother that Drusilla needed to hold on to some of her delusions in order to make sense of what happened because it had been so horrid. He had told her mother that Drusilla had purposely created a similar archaic life to master the unpleasantness she experienced. Her mother asked him if there were pills for this sort of thing.

So, Drusilla failed her family yet again. No matter what she arranged it never looked right to them. Of course they had a right to judge. Now, she had done something horribly wrong to William as well and he was going to punish her too. Her intuition was never wrong, but with all that had happened her perception could be.

"Just tell me, Dru. I already know it's true. I just want to hear te words." William pleaded as he gripped her arms, as if he was the one being punished. She realized what he wanted from her. Sticks and stones weren't the only things that hurt. Someone had to have said something to put the sticks and stones in motion. The right words make a daisy chain that a man could get hung by. The right daisy chain could shackle a girl into madness. Her William wanted those specific words again, that made the hurtful things happen. He so much liked words, almost as much as he liked feelings. Someone always wanted something. Actually, he was the bad one that needed to be punished, but she could never punish him because all of his evilness was due to her.

"Evil, naughty, and wicked! Do you think you can demand it out of me? You act as though it's my choice just speak the words...As if there won't be a price. Nothing is for free in this world, Pet" Drucilla demanded. "Don't you think I know that...I've paid, I'm paying, Dru. It's not bloody fair! I gave you a baby! I'm trying my hardest to make the world the way you want!" William had said and twisted his bottom lip. This was after he wrote and reflected. He stroked his upper lip where he couldn't grow a good mustache, so he had given up long ago. Forever a boy.

"The world...the way I want, with no mean men and their mean laws?" She indulged the fantasy for a moment with closed eyes. It was fuzzy. Not as real as a vision.

"That's the idea. We can do whatever we like...It can happen, Love. It's happening, if we just get enough people together ..No one will hold power over us anymore! Everything will be free." He smiled the branding iron smile. That was the trouble everyone couldn't be free if anyone had to use a branding iron, and someone always had to use one to be free.

"Button, Button, whose got the button...Someone will always hold the power." She had smiled because She knew where the real waking world was now. Her William was the real waking world.

"Love, for the last time, we will only hold it over ourselves." He insisted smiling as she backed him into the bed.

"Such an idealist! That won't work. Someone will always want something." She said as she laid down on top of him.

"Please tell me." He demanded softly looking up at her. She had liked dolls when she was with her other family because they never looked at you like this.

"Look at my creation. Molded out of a boy too scared to walk me home. Now you demand answers from me? Little mongrel is quiet the dog now." She teased.

"Sometimes I do fear that you are not able to say it to me because it isn't true...Don't I make you happy?" He was cruelest when he meant not to be.

"Don't you know your wife at all?...You understand me when no one else does. I will always be with you. When you are gone for more than an hour I want to cry. I live to rewrite my painful tale into something beautiful with you. What I live for allows us to live-here! In this cozy room...There is the rest of the house that your writing bought, and the little house my fairy lives in...But, I really only want to live here in this room with you in me. But, even when we are out room my head is signing with the only other one I want to be with...our daughter." She spoke these words laughing as she knelt up and undressed for him.

"All that...Six years... and you cant tell me you love me!..I should go on strike...I won't write any more of your life until I am told what I want." He laughed and she pulled his hair.

"There is always a price...It's like a bad spell I cast." She grumbled after she bent down and kissed him.

"Doesn't the sodding shrink have anything to say about this?" He demanded. More questions about the talking doctor. It was only fair, the talking doctor asked so much about him.

"I told him...All the men who I have spoke the words of love to have died...All the daisies I plant with the seeds of my love whither and die. I need to keep my daisies for my husband alive."

"And what did he say, Poodle?"

"He said...He said I was obsessed with making love to you because you give me the right kind of pleasure, and I think I need to hold power over you to get it, and that is why I don't speak of my love....He says we should make love less... Oh! I also am obsessed someone is going to hurt my privates and that is why I speak in riddles. He said I should wear thick bloomers to try to speak normally." She laughed and held her stomach as if she remembered the best dirty joke.

"Bloody hell!... If you know it's bollucks Dru, why do you go?" He demanded rolling over on his side to scowl at her.

"To show that I want to be a good girl for my mum and the rest...and be well...Everyone loves a pretty flower." She said gravely trying to forget about weeds strangling roots in the earth.

"You are well! I love you. It's all over, pet. Just tell me you love me, and you'll see how it is all behind you...It really can all be a story, like you want...None of it will have hold on you anymore. It won't torture you anymore." He caressed her face. She closed her eyes, and kissed his hand.

"You know nothing of torture." She said with a far away look. He laid his head down on her breast to apologize. It was true, compared to her he did know nothing of torture. Then he heard her laughing. She wasn't serious. Part of him was cross at her for not being so. She had undressed him and lay on top of him kissing him between laughing. It was so much easier to write the villain of her story than he thought. He would want to steal her too if she hadn't been the one to come to him.

"Torture is like the sun. It can burn you; set you on fire, but it's needed to keep us warm and stuck to the floor. It's distant and scorching and necessary...A mean daddy doling out resources...What would a poet only writing about love who thought his future wife was a pickpocket know of torture?" She giggled. He caressed her backside.

"You'd be bloody surprised!" He grumbled smacking her backside. She yelped, then whined, then laughed.

"Oh yes...You had a whore before me. I'm glad your a socialist now and no longer a capitalist." She could be lucidly witty for a mad girl. He wasn't worried she was mad. He already knew that she was. And wasn't- not really. She just played mad like possums play dead. She had to be strong to protect herself if he wasn't there. No. They didn't have to worry about such incidents anymore. Perhaps that why she could be so petty about the past now.

"Sod the socialist! We're anarchists now, Love... I refuse to make a fool of myself with passivity! You know I only went to the lady for you. You cant sit and write a symphony without first having a piano teacher. You had already had a lover, and all I had were my West End school boy crushes." He grinned.

"Don't mention him." She shuttered. His eyes went cold for a second.

Who did she think he was mentioning anyway?

"Well, you should know better than to torture me with my shameful past now that I have my wondrous reputation...What the 'ol accountant was that bad in the sack? Is that why you called off the engagement?" He heard himself say, even though he knew why she called of the engagement. He wished he had been the reason, but he hadn't known her yet. She had yet to literally bump into him while he was literally crying over that silly girl. Ironically, there was a way in which his past had been more shameful than hers. Perhaps the one that saves you from your past has a right to torture you from it.

"Shut your naughty mouth, Doggie." She whispered as she held his wrists above his head. He did the opposite opening his mouth wide to kiss her. He thought she had to love him. She was of a frail nature physically. That is why they had to have the sodding Nanny. But, she would expend enormous amounts of energy on top of him. That is what she chose to use it all for, and she enjoyed it so. She said sex was like the opposite of her visions. She said she couldn't control herself or the way she felt in either, but one was pleasurable as much as the other painful. Both had been blamed for driving her mad, but in making love she could feel and know herself. The head-shrinker said she was obsessed with making love with him. Whoever said that logical sods knew nothing of beauty unless they were lovers in disguise was right. He doubted her head shrinker knew anything of love, though he was a pervert.

"Hmmm. Naughty boy!" She was trying to cover her mouth to quiet herself, but he held her hands down. She was too loud. She shut her eyes now because now he was kissing her neck, which was something he rarely did. She knew it was because he hated the scars there. He'd never kiss the scars, he would just get ever so close. He did know something of torture after all. He hated being reminded of the other. The other liked to go back to the places he made vulnerable. There were two more scars that she was thankful were difficult to notice. Even if you saw her naughties everyday for five years. William flipped her on her back. "Bad girl! Did I ask you to try to cover your mouth?...I asked you to look-at-me." Had he? She didn't hear she had been busy opening and opening...a drusilla blooming. When she obeyed this time he looked like the skinny boy who won the prize fight money against the town bully. Meanwhile, he had slipped in so gently. But, he always did fight insidiously as well as proudly.

She moaned, but unlike her moans during visions she could hear herself, feel herself, even though she forgot all that concerned her.

He knew she couldn't look at him. When things crash into you so much bigger than yourself your brain closes your eyes. Like in sleep and sneezing. She was so unhappy when she realized someone else shuts them for you in death, but now she understood. People can make you shut your eyes. She pressed her ear to his mouth as he cried out.

William knew she could tell him with her eyes what she couldn't in words. She was finally looking at him. Letting him know she was more than satisfied. A strip of his hair came lose and hung in her face. She held it between her teeth. She told him it tasted like honey even though he sweat as men did when they were making love. He demanded her eyes. Those green-violet marbles that held far too much of every emotion. They held everything he cared about in their pupils alone. But, he was the one who would become weak and open mouthed when he had those eyes on him for too long.

She put her hand on his chest and felt his heart still pounding to the rhythm he moved in. She laid on his chest and opened her eyes suddenly. He knew something forced her to. This often happened to her after a good shag, like the visions made her pay the piper. His poor girl.

"I'm right here poodle...What do you spy?" He asked pressing her to him. "It's just my one of my old story books...I spy with my little eye the morning I was to take my holy orders..." She sighed as if it bored her, but he could still hear her breath shake at the end.

"It's not real anymore, Love...It's over. You're safe with me." He kissed her forehead pleadingly.

"I only spy that morning." She assured him, "Mother Superior is telling me the oatmeal is soothing...I thought it was...It warmed my insides...She was my best Mummy...but, nothing can be as soothing as you and Divya...Even if my best Mummy would feel betrayed...I was not to be a Mum...or a lover, if only I'd never been a lover." She said sadly, as she clung to him.

"If she truly cared for you she'd understand, Love...and not just about me and Divya.." Her eyes softened when she looked at him, but they were constantly plagued. He was actually the mad one. Sometimes he thought if he looked close enough into her he could see what she saw. He would gladly look upon the sturdy smiling woman Drusilla often described. He would even view her as she died screaming with the 57 others if it meant Dru didn't have to anymore. He threw the blanket from India over them. He was going to tell her he still had her doll, the one she tried to throw away because of the shrink. He was going to tell her that it was all right to keep childish things if that was what pleased her.

There was a loud knock on the oak door. She did become a child in that moment again. She whined brattily and grabbed his arm as he rose to answer the door. She hated these intrusions as much as he did, maybe more, but she made them possible. She let everyone in. She felt she had to pay for joy and William was sure this knock was the bitch who collected the rent.

"Bloody Hell!" William cursed and dressed in haste.

If things hadn't been over with and if it had been past dawn he would be fretting that something dreadful had happened to his daughter. He would be fretting who was on the other side of his door and what they had to say about his little bit, or even someone else. However, in the present he was only as mad as hell.

The bitch would be pleased. She looked like angel or saint on a mass card because he was overly backlit by the sunlight in the hallway. This reminded William to get rid of the cross that laid behind the bed. It had been put there long after he renounced the faith and now it was thankfully just as useless.

"Excuse me, Sir.. But, I was wondering if the lady was all right. I heard some dreadful noise." The old bitty said. So polite, with all the hate in her eyes she could muster for William. You see, the nanny was a spy for Drusilla's mother to see just how much the no good bastard poet was corrupting her daughter. Word was all they did was write of Drusilla's delusions all day, and they hung with hedonists who wanted to over throw the government by night.

"The lady is fine. As long as I'm present I'll make sure of it. There is no need to worry." William smirked obnoxiously at her.

"Well, most men aren't around during the day. Most men work, and ladies have company with other ladies." The bitty shot out. The pitch of his voice peaked on "day" and went sliding down hill after.

"Betty, I am so sorry, Mrs. Finn. I tried to explain before. You have never worked for artists before, I know. But, we aren't natural people. We work odd hours and take odd breaks. We both work actually together-though my husband does most of it." Drusilla giggled, but it was apologetic, like a schoolgirl who giggled when she was caught stealing chalk. William watched her pay rent in her own house to make love to her husband.

"You are wrong on all counts, Love. You have powers of seeing things I can only dream, and I merely write them. " He managed to smile now, pissed as he was. "You translate my bizarre thoughts and words. No one would ever understand a word I said without him. We would make no money otherwise." Drusilla explained to Betty patiently. Indeed, it looked like the poor Betty was lost now. Why did she look angry? Was she ashamed she had to be taken in by them, since her mother's home was so empty now?

"Sod money!-And, baby, you are wrong that we are not natural people. These are our walls and whatever we decide is natural with in them is what's natural." William finished sternly. Drusilla looked at him crossly.

"Don't worry, Betty. I am fine...You see William, Mrs. Finn has seen me through awful times, and she is just concerned for me." Drusilla said looking sternly at him.

He knew she had loved Betty like a mother. The woman had loved her too, once. But, too much had happened. Drusilla had changed too much. Betty had lost her husband in Drusilla's home. Drusilla was the one who found him. They say had fallen down the stairs. Later Drusilla had run (or was taken) from the convent and abandoned the church all together. The latter had hurt the woman most of all. There were just so many things that Betty could never understand. "You have a child now, Miss. She might be concerned when she hears you making such noise in the middle of the day." The woman said coldly. Drusilla could see the frost coming out of Betty's mouth. There was a picture of the woman in her mind and she looked like a corpse who spoke these words. With this image before her, Drusilla covered her mouth as she let out a small whimper. Without passion we are truly dead.

"I spy with my little eye the inside, William. She's so cold." She whispered to her husband who had pulled her close to him. People often thought she was rude because she wisphered to William in the middle of conversation. It would be far more rude to tell them what she saw.

"My daughter is nine months old, Mrs. Finn. Her only concern is my wife's breast, and for that I envy her." William snapped. This bitch didn't realize that when she directed her ugliness at his wife, she literally had to see it. Or maybe she did.

"William!" Dru shrieked. But, then she had to struggle to repress her laughter. He wasn't going to let this woman make his wife feel guilty for any second of happiness she had. That seemed to be the only thing she took pleasure in other than caring for the baby. Drusilla claimed this woman loved her too, but Dru seemed to have trouble mistaking sadism for love.

Drucilla was outright laughing now, dressed in a sari from India. She had always appreciated his wit. She seemed to know it was there before he did, and it could snap her out of any sad trance she was in.

"I sometimes wonder if you are all right, my lady. You allow things around here that make me think that you never recovered from your madness after the unpleasantness at the convent." The woman said all pretense of her respect leaving. Drusilla was immediately quiet as if someone struck her. This bitch's time was up.

"That is it! You can take all your black dresses and rosaries and all the rest of your things that time has past and they can bloody help you go elsewhere!" William yelled every muscle in his jaw tensing. The woman jumped. Drusilla did not.

"Such a fine anarchist you are! Talking about property, law, and pulling rank!" She blustered and pouted. He smiled again as Dru stamped her foot. It made little noise because it was bare. No doubt something the nanny found appalling. "Oh, baby." He sighed "If only it were that easy to just give it all up." "You are not going anywhere, Mrs. Finn...Mr.William is just have another one of his tantrums." Dru snipped.

"Speaking of property, Where is my little bit? How is she? " He had turned his head to the nanny now. Who looked at him with bewilderment and hatred.

"My child? Our daughter? The reason you are here...Where is she?" He demanded a bit more loudly then he planned.

"I'll get her, Sir." The woman said lowly.

William went walking into the hall the sun stinging his eyes. Betty Finn came into the hall with the baby. The woman's face actually looked a bit happy. She whispered to the baby. Things he couldn't hear. Maybe it was about what a bastard he was, driving her poor mother to sin.

"You can give her to me, Mrs." William said sweetly now. Drusilla told him babies understood tone. She said tone was the real language the rest was just "sprinkles on the cake." She was right. But, William could turn that rule on its head. The woman looked at him bemused.

"Men can hold babies. I don't even think it's considered a sin." He said in a soft pleasant way.

When she handed him the baby the usual thing happened. Drusilla would often describe to him visions and sensations she had that most people didn't. Holding Divya was the closest he could come to it. She was like holding a little spark. She made his chest fill up and his arms felt weak with love. But, she would tell him in her wiggling little way that his arms were strong enough to do all that they had to do. Lately, what he had to do was easy.

"Divya...Daddy has some unpleasantness he needs to attend to...I think your Nanny knows what it is." He smiled and cooed to the baby.

"Sir?" The nanny asked bitterly.

"If you ever disrespect my wife again by questioning her ability to mother our girl or bringing up the subject of her being ill or the convent I'll see you bloody starve in the street... The fact that you changed my wife's diapers holds no weight with me if you bring her any unhappiness." He said pleasantly.

"I don't think it is going to be me that brings her unhappiness. I think it's you young men of this graceless age that will lead her to hell...At least the tall she had the sense not to marry was respectful, even if he was Irish." She snipped. William smiled, and the woman flinched. It wasn't a smile he always had. Dru called it his branding iron smile,because you look like you are going to scar someone for life...I don't like it, not at all. But, then she would always laugh.

"You're damn bloody right...I can be far more a monster than that sodding bastard, because if you hurt her...I'll leave you alive, so you can actually live to experience hell. No rest for the wicked, Mrs." He sang sweetly. William kissed the top of the baby's head.

Mrs. Finn had taken off in fright, or disgust, or with a new thing to report to Dru's Mum. He hadn't really cared to look at her face. Dru said with all the fighting his mightiest weapon was his tongue. He had always known exactly what people did not want to hear about themselves. Before, he had wanted everyone to approve of him so much he would go out of his way to never say the cruel things he knew. He would stumble on himself not to say them. He was afraid of what he understood of others insecurities back then. Maybe he thought people knew of his insecurities as well, or they hated him for knowing theirs. It was hard to remember. He hadn't cared for the approval of others in years, or maybe he never really had. Maybe he only ever cared about not letting vulgarians destroy what he loved. There were vulgarians everywhere, and William finally learned to fight fire with fire.

"The tyranny comes in all shapes and sizes, Bit...But you will fight it all! You special girl!." William smiled sadly.

"BHAP! BADA DADA!" Divia squealed happily.

William walked back to his bedroom with Divya. The baby was laughing and squealing approval.

"Fly Pigeon!...Fly Pigeon!...You keep falling...Stay up! No falling! My girl will fly." William sang to her. He was throwing her up in the air and catching her when he saw the disapproval on his wife's face as she sat at the desk.

"Sorry...I just figure we should toughen her a bit...No sense waiting." He smiled nervously as the baby pulled his hair now. Dru looked so tiered.

"Are you angry about Mrs. Finn, Love?...I'm sorry. Her fate with us is up to you of course. But, I can't have people hurt you, Pet...You know I can't." He said gently. He knelt at her lap now with Divya as if he was presenting her as a gift.

"You are to easily brought to your knees by queens...You are not going to be tough enough on our daughter...She will think she can run over everyone when she's angry." She smiled sadly as she put her arm around the baby.

"Well, she can, can't she? No sod will get her! Are these cards telling you I let her run a muck? " He asked as he knelt at the desk looking at the tarot cards she laid out. "No! A blind fly could see that you will spoil her rotten!" She laughed.

He recognized many of these cards. Funny how the same ones got dealt out again and again. He saw one he hadn't remembered- a heart with swords running threw it.

"Why is the emperor sod upside-down? What do you spy from this, Poodle? Is a labor strike going bust?" He asked pointing to the card.

"I'm afraid that's my position in this." She pointed to the blindfolded woman "I am not sure...It distresses me...I'm a blindfolded seer, you see." She smiled at irony as she always did, but whispered. He thought she was being mellow dramatic, but he saw that the baby was asleep.

"The time has come for me to put away these things." She said seriously shaking her head. She threw all the cards into the trash can accept for the queen of swords and the king of cups. Her lips were trembling, even though she tried to hide it as she looked at the remaining two cards.

"Dru, don't throw the cards away if it upsets you... I don't care what the bloody shrink says! You're special Dru, not mad! Do you think he wants to understand that? Do you think any of them can?" He insisted in whisper.

"I don't want to be special any longer. Being mad was less painful...I just want be ordinary, and make you happy, Da-" She bit her lip suddenly and shook her head. "I wish I could be ordinary for our happiness." She said simply. She promised herself she was going to stop prattling on. She shouldn't have told him the visions she had this morning. She seemed to prattle on when she was alone with him, talking what other people would hear as gibberish

"Bloody ordinary? For our happines?" He snapped. She had to laugh when the baby woke and cried only because he looked so guilty after looking so indignant.

"You saved me from a hellish life of ordinariness. You saw I wasn't happy being ordinary and saved me...They need their lovers back, Dru." He said quietly. He handed her the baby who began to suckle.

"For once, you make less sense than I do." She smiled, bemused.

"The king of cups needs a queen and the queen of swords needs a king. You can't just keep them alone." He sighed as he rustled through the trash.

"Maybe they go off together." She laughed sadly.

"Nonsense they weren't made for each other! I'm sure it's against some law." He teased.

"You're an anarchist, William." She laughed.

"Well, it's not my kingdom, is it?" He smiled at her.

"I want it to be." She said.

"Okay...well...Those two need their lovers back and they need the rest of the kingdom too...and they need these other people with the star plates because they look important..."

"Those are pentacles. You should know what pentacles are. Remember when-- I really should throw them away. They are very classist...with kings and queens and emperors...These things squirm into your brain."

"Well, we can have this little Git overthrow the emperor." He suggested holding up the fool. She shook her head.

"This one." She said holding up the king of cups.

"Him again...All right, but does he have a lady? I never saw her."

"He does but she just likes to watch...She knows so much that she's a fool too."

"Well, her time has come to do more than watch...She has to help overthrow here."

She was sleeping again. He had been told if she falls asleep during the day to wake her, or she would never sleep at night. He disobeyed, because she seldom slept at night regardless. It was just Dru listening to the so-called experts who were out to mold mothers and babies, so they could look like experts. His girl could sleep whenever she wanted. He took her to the bed. He put her next to the baby, who was wide awake. The baby squealed happily.

"Bit, shhhhhh.." He said picking her up.

"I love you, Daddy! Thank you for the broken dollies dress!" Drusilla laughed, still asleep. William smiled. He knew. She DID love him. Then he scowled. Something was rotten in his bed. He didn't want to face it.

"Oh bugger! Not now, Ducks! I have no idea where the diapers are" He grumbled.

"I need the diapers." He grumbled to Mrs. Finn.

"Where is the lady? Sleeping again?" She demanded her mouth twitching.

"She needs to take sleep when it comes...Where are the nappies?" He sighed.

"The lady will never get well if you keep inviting those radicals over every night." She stated looking at the baby.

"She IS well! Just tell me where the bloody nappies are!" He snapped.

"Please." He said lower now. He didn't understand his sudden politeness.

"I can change Divya." She said softly now. He was impressed she had said her name correctly most people did not.

"No...I'll do it." He told her. The woman seemed to decide she still had to oversee the diaper changing.

"My Ducky fights dirty..dirty!" He said. "La! Ma, ma, ma!" Divya responded.

"She knows you, as well the lady...If she hears either of you she cries for you...So, you should be quiet...When you want to be alone." Mrs. Finn said curtly. He couldn't help but smile. She had dropped all of her "sirs" and "misters" and sort of reminded his Mum when she was cross.

"Of course she knows me...I'm her only Daddy...She has no other...Right, Pigeon?" He smiled at the baby ignoring the woman's criticisms.

"Drusilla's father ... He loved all four of the girls so, but he sort of didn't know how to approach them until they began to talk...Most men were like that in the Drake family." The woman sighed.

"Well, I didn't know any of them long enough to learn of their traditions. I only met Mr. Drake. He was the ONLY one who cared if Dru was happy as I do." He said distantly as the baby grasped his finger.

"I know what you did for him...When he passed, you know " She said softly. William glared at her, hoping that she would run off again.

"Don't give me that look again! Only I and some other servants who found his body know...It was a kind thing you did, getting the law to help you say it was his heart...if the Drake women knew another one of their men had been slain...it would have broken them...especially Drusilla...I'm sure it was difficult covering it up, but the Lord was on your side." She actually smiled at him.

"I don't know what you are bloody talking about! But, I can tell you this, you have no idea about what Dru and I have had to contend with alone...with no one on our side...not the law...certainly not any God." His voice shook, but he wasn't angry at the woman.

"You are still such a boy! Boys think they are the only ones who know anything of the world. You think you are the only one who has ever swore at me and threatened me? I was a nurse for the army when your own father was having his diapers changed! Those boys spat at me when I was trying to give them their medicine too. You think I've been locked in the Drake house all my life and have never seen suffering before they had it? You think I don't know how Drusilla suffers!" She snapped

"You may know things, but whatever you know it's not enough or you wouldn't lecture my wife on things she cannot control. If you knew how and why and ...who brought about her suffering you would only show her kindness...Not remind her of the God that left her soaked in Nuns blood! " His voice was quiet, but got slower and thicker.

"I do not blame her for any of her suffering, but she can chose now to be with moral people or lose her way! The curse that has fallen upon the Drake's has nothing to do with the Lord, and-"

"Yes, some God-fearing people think it has everything to do with my wife and her visions." He scowled.

"Some people are disgusting fools God-fearing and not. Don't you think I told her Mum that blasted Doctor won't bring her any happiness...He is trying to make the girl deny herself ...Drusilla is a good girl. She should have peace and happiness."

"So we agree, Mrs." He smiled slyly as her confused face changed back to irritated.

"No mortal man is going to bring Drusilla happiness! A man can give a woman pleasure, but only God will bring her happiness, and I will make sure she finds happiness...Sir."

"You know, You have a nobility about you I am impressed with. I think you are very selfless, really...I almost regret the fact that I must turn my girl against you for her own good, Mrs. Finn." He smiled sincerely.

"

I assure you the feeling is mutual, Sir." She did not smile.

One thing William had learned was that women could be very worthy adversaries. Sometimes he was beneath them as an opponent. In their book the vampire women could rip a man apart. It was shocking and titillating to readers. It was shocking to him, what people refused to believe. You should never underestimate your opponent. Cut them down lest they cut you.

"Is there a fight?" a soft voice called. She entered looking ache white, as if she was not well. But, she was well. She was just afraid, because she knew. She knew the rage her husband held for this woman who cared for his child. William felt incredible guilt.

"Drusilla...No...We were just having a discussion about our mutual respect despite our theological differences." He said taking her hand. He doubted Mrs. Finn was taught what theological meant in her nursing school.

"I passed by Mrs. Finn's room. It has an air of such aggression to it." She shuddered.

"No, Mrs....Just sayin' maybe you ought to have Miss Divya baptized is all...Wash her clean." Mrs. Finn said so ernastly. William had under estimated the woman, and so he was hit. He scoffed loudly, but before he could argue Drusilla spoke.

"Clean! Oh no my girl is dirty! There is nothing more frightening than a soul scrubbed clean, Mrs. Finn." She shuddered again and took the baby from William as if he was going to baptize her himself. William wrapped his arms around Dru's waist. The baby looked at him and smiled.

"You know in the book reviews they say the book William wrote is immoral and sometimes they say it is amoral and then they go on to say it is good despite that." Drusilla said in her best calm tone. William knew it was false.

"Well, I must say I-" Finn began.

"We BOTH wrote the book, Pet." William said softly.

"I'd rather be immoral than amoral. It's better to have the wrong morals than none. The wrong morals have a chance to turn into something good, but to be free...to be clean.. of any morals...It's just too horrid!" She gasped.

"Mrs. Drusilla..." Mrs. Finn did seem shocked now. Her brow furrowed and Drusilla had done what William could not. She made the woman walk away.

"Oh, I am failing so horribly. I promised I wouldn't go on about such things that frighten people." Drusilla laughed now. Mrs. Finn went back to ironing and sighing.

"I'm not frightened...Ducks isn't frightened.." William said as the baby held Drusilla's fingers, "You go on as much as you like."

"Don't you want me to be pleasant? The doctor says I should be pleasant on the outside and then it will fill in." She said in a half sarcastic way.

"I want you. I want you to be happy not pleasant, and I want to pound the doctor in the head with a railroad spike." William grumbled.

"Perhaps we should bring our Divya to the church... She is going to be willful and disobedient like her father... It's going to bring trouble...Perhaps if she has faith, it will be comforting. We all need faith in something." Drusilla looked at William with innocent eyes.

"Do you have faith, Mrs.?" Mrs. Finn suddenly was back, looking Drusilla straight in the eye, making her look away from William.

"I have faith in my daughter and my husband...I have faith they find themselves in every life...There is this wonderful religion in India, Mrs. Finn...that we lead many lives over and over we come back to this world...One priestess said that the people in our lives are always with us but we change places like in Alice's tea party...You may have been my real mum is another life." William saw his wife smile at that thought for some reason.

"Mrs. Drusilla I think that is entirely wrong!" Mrs. Finn gasped.

"I think so too...My take is more scientific...There are so many stars out there...Many planets...All with different names..I think their are universes with other Mrs. Finn's and Drusillas and Divyas...But, maybe it is all true! Maybe the lot of us go 'round n' 'round in our different stars AND the same souls have different lives on those stars! I sometimes can feel I had a different life, and I can see all the stars with all the girls that have the same name...Drusilla...No, sometimes the name is different too! The souls are the same. They all have the same name--- The souls!" She had her eyes closed and was tilted back with Divya chewing on her hair "Couldn't it be true, William? Haven't many things turned out to be true, William?" She asked only him gleefully.

"I am sure your right in some capacity, Love...If you see it, I'm sure it's there." He smiled. He grabbed hold of her so she did not tilt back too far and took her hair out of the babies mouth.

" ..A heaven, a hell, a God, no many Gods! Many universes with people being reincarnated over and over with their dirty souls! Isn't all so wondrous, William!" She squealed. excitedly.

"I do so love you, Drusilla." William said and kissed her.

When his wife left the nanny sprung on William, which he rather enjoyed. Just leave Drusilla be.

"That is not Drusilla! That is a mad girl! I've known her all her life, and she would never be so blasphemous! It's you! You keep her mad lest she see the snake you are! You-you respect no order- You respect nothing! You only want for yourself!"

That was the trouble with anarchists and with his wife. It was all talk, standing about-semantics and metaphysics. Mostly, the group sat around with their good arguments with food and wine and cocaine. He wished that they could act, but he had to admit he didn't mind nights like this waiting.

Everyone was reciting the same usual lines. William made his usual jokes of being bored by this discussion. The party would have to reach out to the lower class if they really wanted to achieve anything and so on. He made his usual threat that if it continued he would move into the worst catacombs of the East End and sleep with the rats. Alex had made his usual joke that maybe William could be inspired to write a less vile book that way...and so on. William smiled as Drusilla explained her variation on Hinduism to Alex's wife, Willa a cute little redhead. They weren't a traditional couple. They were American and had settled in London for Willa's work in some sort of science. Normally English institutes did not take on Yank female scientists, but she was apparently some sort of genius. The two women had met three years ago when Willa apparently scared away a man pestering Drusilla. It all was an odd vague story. No one would think the perky but clumsy girl was a genius, or that her small frame could scare off a man. The only sure thing was that Drusilla let them live in adjoining house for almost no rent.

"...Well, I am William's wife in this life, in another life I may be his mother, but we will always be in each other's lives because our connection is strong... Not to say we would always be allies...We could come back as each other's enemies-have as much hate as we do love." Drusilla explained to Willa who was genuinely interested.

"Now that I could never believe. I could never hate you, baby. I'm nothing without you in any life." William smiled passing by.

"I think between love and hate are like yin and yang, one can't exist without the other if you love someone so much doesn't part of you have to know hate. Hate is just love turned inside out...It's passion. Someone who hates you so much must really love you...look at all the time they spend thinking about you. It is so easy to jump to the other side." She sighed. William scowled and his fingers balled into fists, but he said nothing.

"This is so very interesting, Dru...I like it better than talking about ending property laws and marriage and planning rallies...I suppose that is wrong, but I feel like we are wasting our time. Nothing changes...ever...I'm afraid." She sighed.

"Everything changes. You will change too. We have to try to change something of the world, or the whole world will fight...It will be dreadful. The falling Duke and his wife will start a trail of blood for thousands!" Drusilla whispered.

"Oh Dru...Don't worry...We'll do what we can." Willa grabbed her arm sincerely.

"Drusilla, what on Earth are you talking about? What duke? There has been no threat to any Duke I've heard of." Harriet demanded.

Blast! Drusilla had been trying to be curt tonight and use everyone else's words and speak they way they spoke, but translating was taxing after a few drinks. Everyone was staring as Harriet's voice had a way of attracting attention.

"Oh, don't be offended.. I meant no harm by it. Sometimes I just speak in metaphors. They just slip-out, like poems. It comes from writing I suppose." Drusilla smiled as everyone looked on. The allegories had not come from writing, but from somewhere in her mind that she could not sculpt. She wished the fallen Duke really had been an allegory.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't do that. I mean, I only say it because I have concern, but people talk." Harriet sighed.

"Oh, do they ever...People talk of poor poor Drusilla Drake Ellington." Drusilla smiled. She wanted to push the Duke out of her mind with a bit of fun. She got up to stand in the center of the room.

"Her family is Nu'vo rich, and only SHE never lost her lowly accent!..They also say she's quite mad, you know? Strange and horrible things happen when she is afoot.." Everyone laughed. Drusilla was a fine performer when need be. She stole William's rolled cigarette for a prop. The air was becoming heavy, and she just couldn't hold that heavy feeling

"They say she went to a convent to try to purge herself of wickedness...But, you know there is no rest for the wicked." She said in a stage whisper to everyone at the party now. She looked around the room as if to make sure it was clear of her own ears, and then took a dramatic drag from the cigarette. Everyone laughed. She went around to everyone looking into each of their eyes with dramatic eeriness. They laughed but always looked away accept for Willa and William. They looked like they were watching an epic tragedy.

"The best rumor I heard was...was-" Emma was interrupted by her own laughing, "That the book was all true...even the vampire part." There was a roar of laughter as this was an intellectual crowd that knew demons and angels were nothing more, but tales to control the masses.

"Oh, I'm sure especially the vampire part!" William threw in jovially.

"Maybe the Drake girl IS one." Drusilla continued.

"They say she knows how to enthrall men with her eyes, but then the man may turn up dead." She said all of this in an eerie whisper.

"Sounds like a good a way to die compared to any other." Alex said and pulled her into his lap. She giggled breaking her stage presence. She hugged him. It was nice to have another entertainer in the house.

"The part she's leaving out is who kills all these men." William warned Alex lightly. As he pulled his wife into his own lap. He was an excellent straight man for all this extemporaneous pieces.

"My boy, I'm not responsible. I'm under her thrall." Alex joked. The party's laughter had died down. However, most ears still lingered.

"There is that rumor that you do kill men,William...with wooden spikes." Alex's wife Willa smirked.

"And there is a rumor your a witch who fancies girls as does your husband...But, they say that about all women of brilliance." William winked.

"I heard one! I heard one! I heard that Drusilla's old lover was that awful murderer and he purposely did the killings the year you married William, and he was some man of great power... Maybe royalty...and that is why they never caught him." Harriet broke in. The two couples grew quiet. William glowered at her his whole body stiffening. The minute Harriet seemed to think she may have said something wrong, Drusilla began to laugh loudly.

"See it's all true the book, the wickedness, all of it." Drusilla laughed. "Death surrounds Drusilla Drake they say."

"Dru don't!" Willa pleaded with her cute pointy face in anguish. People who weren't exactly eavesdropping fell silent to listen more.

"Oh Pet, don't worry its all just noise and fury...People's chatter...I mind so little maybe I do have had a bit of the devil in me." Drusilla smiled.

"Bullocks!" William scoffed. "I wish that were true. Then you'd have the heart to get rid Old World people of little use...and the people that say these things about you." He glared at Harriet who looked at her shoes.

"William, I told you I still have plenty of uses for you." She joked. People admitted they were still listening. That made everyone laugh for a good while.

"Yes, but what use do we have for that frigid woman who calls herself a nanny. She keeps her ear to the wall so she can damn you for shagging your own husband!" William retorted. A few of the women giggled at his language, but most were too high to even notice. People were going back to their own little talks now, not just pretending to. William had signified that the show was truly over by talking more quietly. He only wanted Willa and Alex to be their audience. William was a great director.

"Eeee! After all you've done for that woman to take her on. You didn't want a nanny anyway. Why not get rid of her?" Willa asked.

"Yes, Dru, enlighten us as to why not." William smirked.

"Why don't you just order me to do it, William?...Since she seems to bring that out in you. William becomes a true gentleman around her. So interested in defending his position and station as gentlemen do." Drusilla retorted with a small smile.

"You're saying I've lost my principles of wanting to eliminate all power because I don't want some old hag insulting you after I make love to you?" He demanded lightly.

"I am saying that this shows how ridiculous and impossible holding on to that position is." Drusilla said.

"Oh, this again!" Alex sighed.

"You gotta smash that cage you in, Baby." William insisted.

"But, that's using power isn't it? Its a total paradox, William." Dru insisted.

"No, you are confusing anarchy with being a pacifist- its fighting back...Taking back what's yours!" He insisted.

"Who are you to claim what is yours? What if I say that its not yours, but mine? The one with the most power wins. Its all about power." Drusilla said.

"When can I blow something up, then?" Alex asked.

"Soon, Mate." William smiled.

"I have to agree with Drusilla. You two are always sword fighting with each other with your wits. And look at you! Smiling about the thought of blowing something up...What is more powerful then destroying something even if it is tyranny?" Willa demanded.

"What if I just hit tyranny in the knees with a pipe?" Alex asked.

"Yes, Look at the way you two wrestle each other with your quips." Drusilla said to William's and Alex's eye roll.

"That's just a game, Love. You love games." He smiled lopsidedly.

"Its all a game. We all have been dealt hands that have some power. No cards, no game, no game, no life...You have to get everyone to share their hand is all." She smiled.

"What I find most interesting here..." Duncan, a friend of theirs slurred, "Is that the women are being more realistic than the men, and not just wishing power away...I think its because they have been more affected by the oppression of power...William ol' boy, where is you Lu?"

"Fascinating." Alex shook his head as William pointed Duncan to the Lu.

"I fail to see how are being realistic is fascinating! Women have to live in less of a pretty world then men. Contrary to the popular belief." Willa said.

"No, I mean that every time Duncan comes here he gets smashed and forgets where the Lu is." Alex shook his head.

"Men can afford to be obsessed with power...because they always wield some." Dru sighed.

"Maybe men can't afford not to be obsessed with power." Alex said.

"You have the power, though. Someone always does, the trick in not eliminating it but, playing your hand well for everyone." Drusilla insisted.

"Bloody...Fine Dru!...I'm a bad man, who is wretchedly power hungry." William blustered.

"No you're not, my Love! Without power there would be nothing. No men and women together making babies. There would be no wars, but no songs either...If nothing has the power to grip your heart why write a song? Why fall in love? It's always a game, and its always not."

"Okay, Love. I want to have my turn in this game. I demand you tell me why I can't let that ice-queen bint go, and allow us to judge if these reasons are fit...We'll vote..Share...Be all democratic." He smirked.

Evil boy. He knew would win that way. He could argue her out of her love for Betty Finn. He would tell her the woman was only out to hurt her now, and with her friends their to agree, she'd have to fold.

He didn't understand love grew on vines. Drusilla would be almost bald if the hair that had grown when Betty loved her broke off and flew away. Betty was the first to suggest that the visions she had in her fits were real, and that Drusilla was not mad, but a blessed, special girl.

"Well,..." Dru began as she stood up with the cigarette between her fingers, and sucked on it for as long as she could. She twirled around to Willa and Alex's laughing.

"You must have really big lungs." One of their guests joked in amazement.

"Dru, enough now!" William was doing his stern pleading.

She went to blow the smoke out and fainted. William grabbed her before she hit the ground. He picked her up.

"Move your asses!" He bellowed to the slack-jaws on the couch.

'

"What happened to her? Is she all right?"

"She did too much cocaine...I saw someone die like this when they did too much cocaine!" Harriet gasped.

"She is not dying, you twit! She doesn't take coke! She just faints easy is all." William snapped. She didn't take coke she said she could feel it souring the baby's milk. It seemed like nonsense to him, but he learned not to question her intuition.

Drusilla began whining in little gasps. He eyes were closed, but her eyelids were twitching.

"You're hurt...Just kiss me..Don't worry...Son of a bitch...that whore set me free." She murmured. She then started whispering inaudible things and whimpering.

"Maybe she should start taking cocaine...What on earth is ailing her? I've heard she really has vision like the girl in your book. Is-" Harriet prattled.

"Shut-up!" William roared to Harriet. Everyone else did too.

"She'll be fine. She is always fine...She's just in pain right now." He assured them as she moaned and her eyes rolled back.

"William, I can stop this!" Willa said firmly.

"No! Not like that!" He snapped "Not yet...Love." He said to Willa more softly.

"Look at me, Drusilla." He pleaded. Drusilla opened her eyes.

"William." She said seriously.

"Yes, Love." He said trying to sound happy.

"So, I guess I won that hand. I was bluffing. We do as I wish and keep Betty...You all thought I was having a vision? Honestly? Should we have a seance like all the society people do now?" She sat up with a sarcastic smiled at everyone. People laughed uncomfortably.

They started to tell stories of times when they had fainted or had seem someone faint. They told stories about sances and memorization. Drusilla reset her hair. She could see everyone's words hanging in the air. The words they wanted to say like Harriet's. Drusilla had heard Harriet, and felt William. She had just heard and felt other things to. She thought that feeling more than one person's feelings was why it all hurt so much. But, now she thought perhaps it was capturing their lack of feeling that was painful. Lack of concern WAS fun. Everyone was wondering: Did Drusilla Drake just have a vision, or was she just playing with them like a bratty society girl?

"Duncan, you should play the piano for us. Would you?" She asked sweetly. Everyone gathered around the piano.

"If you keep eyeing me like I am you're favorite pet goose that you know you have to cook, you'll ruin my time." Drusilla whispered to William as the piano played.

"Tell me what you want of me and I'll deliver it, Love." He said stretching his cheeks out so they would form a smile for her.

"Be happy. Be happy with me in this life when you can." She told him. He caressed her cheek. She pushed him playfully towards the piano. Someone passed the bowl of coke. He snorted some and his head lightened he waited for it to come around again. He saw Harriet's eyes follow Drusilla as she was trying to slip out without being noticed.

"Harriet." William smiled, "I'm afraid we have some unpleasantness to attend to..."

Drusilla was doing what an ordinary well wife would do. She stood over the sink doing her dishes like a grown woman. She didn't pull her husband in and say "I spy with my little eye..."She wasn't a bit surprised when Harriet had left crying, but she kept her lips tight when people wondered what happened. She said nothing odd. Her guests left and she had said "good-bye"and looked them in the eye, but she didn't leave her dishes. The warm water was comforting, like oatmeal. That was not odd. The things she did not want to explain she would keep to herself rather than dress them up in veils. She had slipped tonight and today, and badly today with the talk of other Drusillas. There was probably a Drusilla that did not care about how she frightened people with her visions at all!

"You hide, little girl." William said. Maybe he didn't feel other people's feelings, or see what was in their heads. But, he knew anyway, and without all the bothersome seeing, pain, and fainting. What he didn't have in her intuition he made up for in intelligence. His collar was messed. His shirt untucked. It suited him.

"You're high as a bloody kite." She said amusingly annoyed.

"Maybe, maybe not." He sighed smiling in the door frame.

"The only thing worse than a lying man is one who acts coy." She turned back to her dish.

"What did spy you with your little eye...sss?" He asked smugly as he approached her.

"What?" She mumbled and scrubbed.

"Now who is being coy?" He said. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his hard thing on her ass. It made her sigh as she leaned back on him.

"What do mean? A lady doesn't intrude on other people's business" She said mischievously.

"I'll break your backside." He giggled as he swatted her ass. Then he was squeezing her breasts.

"I don't know what you mean, good husband, by this 'spying'? But I feel something hard on my rear and it's not your hand." She tried to say stiffly but giggled.

"What did you see? I am not one of your twit guests that can be charmed into thinking it was a party trick...I know there are strange things afoot, that go bump in the night...Even though the only thing that goes bump in the night in this house...is me." He demanded whispering in her ear. Kissing it. Licking it. There could be a chaste Drusilla somewhere.

"So, you are the only one that can make the earth move? No one is an entity, we are all connected...even a wretched bastard can see that." She joked a little too sternly but mewled helplessly when he lightly bit her neck on the opposite side of where the bight scar lay.

"I will not have my wife talking to me in such a manner! I am a man who works hard to maintain his power and his station, Mrs. Now I demand you tell me what you saw!...You have that blasted corset on...Not only do you faint, but you are out of fashion." He said with mocking anger as he traveled to her other ear. He lifted up her dress to the knee.

"Sod you!" She cackled. She was just a naughty wife now, but not a mad one. He squeezed her tightly with the arm that didn't have her dress.

"Mad ...Naughy...girl....Only you would wear a corset but no bloomers!" He laughed. She hadn't realized how hot she was until he lifted up her dress further and pinched her arse.

"Shhh." She giggled after she was the one who had just screamed. She always made little cakes and everyone was always too drunk to eat. William stuck his finger in her cake that had been sitting lonely on the counter as he squeezed her crotch. She dropped her dish and leaned back on him entirely.

"So tight lipped about this bloody vision... Open your mouth, anyway." He commanded as he held his finger to her mouth filled with raspberry filling.

"William...I can't...Betty-" Her voice shook as she took his finger into her mouth. She was always too easily distracted by naughtiness. She was eager to give in because not giving in helped no one.

"Better tell me what you saw then." He said wickedly as his wet finger swam inside her. She took his other hand and put it over her mouth. She had learned to enjoy losing her voice in a cupped hand long ago. Sod them all! They had no idea how much she wanted to scream. He took his hand off her mouth, so he could keep her from falling as she started shaking.

"Tell me what you saw." He laughed "Or I'll make you scream." His hand swam faster. That was the delicious thing about threats. No threat could ever be repeated the same way. Sometimes the "same" threat that seemed horrific could seem heavenly depending upon whom was doing the threatening.

"Aaaaa...All right!" She gasped. His hand stopped dead, but stayed inside of her.

"I saw...I saw.. The second coming.. I was going to hell for wearing no bloomers, and you- you were there to punish me." She cackled. He grunted and nibbled on her ear, and began moving his hand again, quickly.

"The second coming... Won't your beloved Nanny be pleased!" He laughed, " No matter..You could put out the fires of hell, with all this wetness you hold down here...Is this all for me?"

"William, stop! You'll sully my name so much it'll go back to being saintly because only a daft overly obsequious woman would allow this." She laughed as if someone was tickling her.

"No one is watching." He laughed as he began to untied the corset from under her dress. She sighed with surprising relief as he loosened the corset, but she didn't want to let it all go.

"We should stop!...Someone is always watching." She told him.

"Very well." He sighed. He removed his hand and kissed her ears and the back of her neck. She smiled, but felt heavy with her own thoughts once again.

"William, you'll never know how much you save me everyday." She said gravely. That was an odd thing to say. She did not want to say odd yhings even to him. She had failed. She was glad she wasn't facing him.

"I can't save you from the Second Coming though...I'm the sinner that'll bring it on." He laughed. She froze with what he said, until she felt him inside of her.

"Oh.....God..Mmm Willll..." She purred as she leaned into him.

"You said to stop..that other thing." He whispered out of breath as he moved slow and deep. "Did you spy me sneaking up on you from behind? Is that why you wore no bloomers?"

"You're bloody awful." She gasped.

"S'what they say...Do you like it?" He asked before he gripped her ear between his teeth.

"Mmmm..Mmm-hmmm." She growled.

"Oh God, your so so wet...you were just waiting to be taken." He moaned.

"No, no...you're a...ahhh...bad man." She whispered. He put his hand over her mouth as she moaned, and she took her own hand to push his in more firmly.

"Always such a good girl ." He whispered as her moans fell into his hand safely. She felt so light and tingly like a girl that just learned the trick of flying. He made all the bad thoughts happy thoughts, and she would float. She kept forgetting things, like she was standing and her legs needed to keep her that way. Luckily he'd catch her and laugh. He was not angry. He would never be angry at something like that. Others were enraged by her slips.

"Couldn't have been that bad then?" He snickered pulling down her dress.

"I managed to keep quiet this time... Flowers don't scream when they bloom. You always know how to make me opened my mouth though...It's too good to keep to closed with you. ...Lose lips will do dreadful things when were dead...But, note that for that bit I did keep quiet." She sighed, or caught her breath really as she turned to him.

"There you are. It could only be you." She said touching his face, and kissing him.

"No, I mean your vision couldn't 'a been that bad...If I could distract you so well...What do you mean it could only be me?" He said looking a bit stricken for a second.

"Just that I couldn't see your face, Daddy...But, you have a way about you...You're not clean, you're dirty..Dirty is better..." She said into his shoulder. It had been a while since he was Daddy without the baby in sight. It made him kiss her for a good while, until she pulled away and frowned and then laughed.

He thought that he had imagined the oddness that came over her. He knew she had a troubling vision, but she had responded so to his touch that he thought she was no longer haunted by it. She had pressed his hand to her mouth for so long so tight he feared her fainting again.

But, the trouble of the vision was still with her, if it was so horrid he thought she would have told him by now. He caressed the side of her face. She was cold. Someone had told him, if she had too many visions they would drive her to madness or death. He hadn't believed them. The people who claimed she was already mad were simpletons that were merely jealous that they couldn't understand her. She sometimes would say mad things due to her exhaustion of visions, but the same could be said of so many women. Didn't other women get exhausted with all they had in their heads.

"Was the vision about more wars coming again?" He asked.

"Yes, and no." She said mischievously. Even he couldn't tell at times if she was really giddy or covering her sadness.

"There will always be a war coming, Love. It's nasty and wretched, and I'm so sorry you have to see it, but you fought your war already... There is nothing you can do if mother England wants to fight hers with her sons' blood, you know... I am an old man of 29 now. They don't want me... And thank God for them not knowing about how well certain women can fight for once...our Bit will be spared."" He told her. He felt her shudder after he spoke.

"Our Divya...It isn't fair! Firecrackers are how they discovered gun powder and war...They are a glorious explosion, and then they are gone. You would do anything for Divya, and you must understand- so would I... No one is spared...Not even Angelus himself...It was he I spied tonight...His slate is clean again...No matter how the gypsies dirty him up with guilt and nasties...He always manages to hold on to that slate, and wipe it clean!" She smiled sadly as she halfheartedly struggled to undo her corset from underneath her dress.

"I hate these bloody things! Your Mum doesn't live here Drusilla! You don't have to wear this monstrosity of the upper-class!" He snapped about the corset seriously now, and turned her around roughly. He undid the first few latches she felt her shoulders relax as he rubbed them as kissed them.

"It leaves marks! I should burn it after I take it off of you!" He said firmly in her ear. She could feel his Adam's apple against her neck moving with this drunken bravado.

"Don't you dare...You- you're a mess! You could never have a clean slate!" She laughed as she closed her eyes as he undid more hooks kissing her the whole time.

"You're right...I've never known how to look good...Never did things with that slow finesse of Angelus..Maybe I'll just cut it off the corset, then." He said as he stopped undoing the latches halfway. She would have felt disappointed if she wasn't distracted. He was holding a rather large blade with an ivory handle as he still held her tight against him.

"Where did you get that..and why?" She asked angrily. Something about sharp things always brought her back to a clear head. Though the object did hold wonder. Her hand worked it's way down his leaned muscled arm to hold his hand that was holding the knife.

"India. Where we got the swords in the bedroom..And why do you think?" He smiled at her.

"It wouldn't help at all and you know it!...We knew this day would come with Angelus, William...There's no sense in becoming this way!" She shuddered.

"It helped when a man in the East End tried to mug me. He decided not to after I convinced him." He grinned. He had enjoyed it!

"...And would you mind sharing what we knew of our dear Angelus, because all I know is that you had a bloody vision of him! And.. that you insist on calling the dirtiest nancy bugger in the world-clean!" He wasn't grinning at all now.

"You are the one that insisted Angelus would always be evil, even if he had a soul! But, never mind my vision! You hurt a man! A man who probably needed your money due to poverty!" She demanded.

"He was well practiced at the art of pummeling people by the way he approached me. Believe me, I know that look in the eye. He didn't want to discuss the class system and neither did I...Besides, we can't get at the sods who create the real problems, can we?"

"William! The man that wanted to live for beauty! " She criticized but she cooed because now he was grinding himself into her. She loved to feel him pressed into her. She lifted his hand with the knife in it. She laughed the handle was intricate and delicate pearl. It its end was sharp hard steel.

"I still do Love, but I learned you must fight for it! I sleep with this in my sleeve every night. It's more fitting then a piece of wood now, and more comfortable...for me." He said slipping his hand under her slip to her behind and squeezing it. She moaned a little when his finger went in her from behind.

"You were such a gentle boy and I ruined you...Even if a man has a soul I see his darkness, and I bring it out...I don't mean-" She stopped speaking as abruptly as he stopped touching her.

"You mean you Saint Nancy Angelus has done wrong with his soul? Why couldn't you have a bloody vision that souls are bullocks? I should've killed him where he stood.." He spat,"... begging for forgiveness" but his voice softened when she reached into his pants.

"Then you would be like him, Daddy...Punishing the innocent for their circumstance...Do you really want to kill the rats instead of the slumlord?" She had switched places with him. She stood behind, whispering questions in his ear. One hand playing with his naughties. She abruptly stopped as he did. Her other hand was holding his, but it was the hand she held that still had the knife.

"That the way it works, Dru... The aristocrats and the bloody church create the catacombs and we have to defend ourselves from those that live in their sodding waste!" With her hand still on top of his with the knife he threw it into the door.

"William!" She tried to yell, but a laugh escaped. She felt a chill run through her.

"I've had enough of whatever this display is! The upper-class and the church, indeed! My family and those sweet nuns never hurt anyone!" She snapped and pushed away from him and looked at him angrily.

"Yes, and look at what happened to them." He said softly as he grabbed her hands.

"Real anarchy isn't sharing, parties, and cakes, Dru." He said gently. She opened her mouth to say something. He leaned into her neck and licked and kissed it. She moaned. He kissed her lips a few times. Then he walked away. He pulled the knife out the mouth of the carved angel above the door. The light wood that showed through looked like exposed flesh. It made her shudder and audibly wine.

"What did you see of Angelus tonight? If he is coming 'round begging for more forgiveness this time he can find it at the end of a stake. " He demanded so softly.

"He's lost his way, or found it." She sighed looking down and sounding calm, "He's lost his soul...We may not be troubled by it now, but it's troubling all the same. Divya will be saved by-" She brushed back his hair. He slightly pulled away.

"THAT is what is so troubling to you? I hate to tell you, but, his soul was damned a thousand times over whether he has it or not...If there even is such a thing." He scowled.

"You saw the man he was when he had it. He was remorseful and kind...He was sincere. I felt it. You always trust the other things I feel." She felt drained and numb now realizing that person was really gone. Another person Angelus murdered and would keep killing in different ways no doubt. Perhaps Angel was the only one alive that suffered as much by the hand of Angelus as Drusilla did.

"Bloody Hell, Dru! Don't you dare show that bastard a lick of sympathy! I am a bloody fool for not going against you! I should have killed him that day when he asked it of you! If you have one more visions starring the sodding Wanker I'll scour the earth 'till I find his sorry ass and cut him to pieces before I turn him into dust not worthy of choking on!" His voice was low, but it shook with anger. He couldn't steady it now.

"And they said your love poems were bad." She joked as he ground his teeth in a fury.

"God Damn it Dru! I WON'T ALLOW sympathy for a monster who lost something he never had!" He said lowly, but threw her dish.

"You still don't understand, Daddy...No sympathy for HIM...He's lost his soul. He's back to being the beast he was. He wants to kill again- to destroy. The other thing that goes bump in the night is back...for America as well as Europe now." She laughed as she saw her cracked plate. Men love to smash breakable things. She couldn't help it. Something about that made her escape in to schoolgirl giggles.

"Was he coming for you?" William demanded with more than one realization coming into his glare.

He pushed her against the counter top and gave her a look there was no word for. The tenacity of anger was equal to and capable of all the love that made it worth staying alive.

People teach children that love and hate and pleasure and pain are opposites, and that opposites are nothing alike. It makes things easier. How do you explain to a child that cat and dog are opposites, but really have so much in common as they are both pets? Maybe that is why they taught algebra. In algebra the numbers that balanced the equation didn't have to be opposites. William had hold of her wrists.

"Was he coming for you? In the vision did you see the Wanker coming for you, Drusilla?" He roared. And of course if you flip an equation around it still equals the same thing.

"Oh William? The white knight talking backwards, isn't he!" Dru whispered in his ear viciously, "What he really means to ask would have Drusilla and Angelus switch places in that question. William ... is a mean Daddy."

"Oh, no never...Dru doesn't like mean Daddies, does she?" He sang in angry sarcasim. He grabbed gently her face with one hand and held the knife at his side with the other.

Of course, if you had a negative and a positive that were too much alike in algebra they balance out and the answer the two numbers were struggling for was annihilated. If the negative and positive were exactly the same, the answer could only be nothing. If the negative and positive were almost the same, the answer was whittled away to almost nothing. Poor thing. The numbers on either side claiming to be opposites destroyed the poor answer. Either side would claim the answer they sought drove them to it, or that the other number had...Or it was a combination of the two.

"I was never very good at equations as a girl. I tried to make up stories for the numbers, and I forgot what side the answer went on. I got smacked by the teacher a lot for that." She smiled at her distraught husband. He opened his mouth to demand something. She could and would deliver sanity if someone was demanding it of her. When she married William she had been the only one of them that demanded it of herself. He didn't care about her sanity. He cared about her love.

"Who do you give over for Dru?" He asked.

"What?" She gasped. He was pushing up against the corset now as he kissed her. She loved the corsets. They held her together; reminded her of her coming of age. A grip that would never let her go and let all the pieces fly out. Always a party girl in a party dress. She just wanted to feel it holding her together. William's lips were almost everywhere accept where he knew Angelus had been. He was nothing if not a forgiving Daddy.

"Who owns you, Dru? Which side?" He asked firmly. He had taken the party dress off, but the corset remained. He sat her up on the counter as she breathed heavily. She loved that she wasn't the only one that needed to breath heavily. When she rapped his legs around him he was warm. His hand road up between her legs.

"If there is always power and it can't be destroyed, who do you give yours over to?" He asked in her ear as she let out a shaky breath. His fingers were teasing her outside.

"Daddy." She pleaded like she had been bad, but she was so so happy.

"What? You want to talk about sharing again, If we ask nicely. Maybe the sodding government and the church will share their cake as easily as you do!" He mocked and slapped her between her legs. She let out a yelp and laughed. He allowed her to kiss him as his fingers swam inside her gently now to continue the tingle of the slap.

"Do you want to share yourself? Share your bloody power? Do you want to split yourself up between this scandalous life and a proper one with the church, or with the bloody aristocrats? The ones who saved you from all your misery and taught you how to turn your vision into a sins or bloody party tricks." He slapped her pussy again. She moaned after she let out a yelp.

"Maybe you can be the cake..Dru? And one will want a piece here...And here...And here...And you will just let them all have it, won't you?" He demanded as he bit her lightly on the neck, then the thigh then the clit. She screamed more then moaned she sounded like a girl who had her arm torn off, but she felt nothing like her. But, her arm did move and knock a glass to the ground. She was glad he didn't notice she was crying because she didn't want him to stop.

"Won't you, wicked plum...?" He was laughing with pride at her coming so.

"Answer Daddy!"

She shook her head. She moaned deeply and shook as he thrust two fingers inside of her. "Well, then you won't be needing the underclothes society bitch who gives herself away, will you then?" He demanded. There was a ripping sound and he whole body felt free and breathing. He HAD cut the corset off in one smooth motion like he had gutted a fish. She gasped as he picked her up.

"Who do you think you share yourself with, Dru?...Does the church still own you? Does you mum? Do they bind you up with all the ways to behave like a corset? Do you really believe you were sharing with them?" He demanded as he sat her on his lap where Alex had claimed he was under her thrall.

"No." She said as she turned to straddled him. She kissed him hard. Good strong boy. He could take on the anger for her about her tyrant coming back to life. She hadn't the energy.

"So, if there is no sharing who do you give yourself to? Who owns you?" He said lowly as he teased her with the tip of himself.

"No one." She answered. Whining because she wanted him inside of her, and he held her hips hostage there and wouldn't budge

"Wrong. That question is a tricky one...Want another guess?" He asked.

"William, please." She begged.

"Who, Dru?" He demanded. She was trembling. She remembered bigger hands on her demanding answers, and she would search for the right answer terrified. She would say anything those all encompassing hands wanted in order for them to stop touching her at first. Things change. Now she would say anything to keep being touched by William. She learned to love lies with the other pair of hands, but she never had to before with William.

"Me...you give yourself to me." He said as he entered her hard. She cried out. Too loud. She never reached such intense pleasure so suddenly. She leaned into to be kissed and held. He might push her when he felt pushed, but he always pulled her back to him. He wrapped his fingers in her hair.

"Right...All to me." He grunted with a laugh as she came again.

"Do I have you, Dru?" He grunted.

"Yes.Yes.Yes!" She moaned. She felt like all the daisies in the world were inside of her slowly blooming.

"Do you love me? Do you?" He was shaking now. Soon all the daisies would spill out of her in full bloom. They would live.

She leaned her neck into him right where she had her bight scars, so he had to kiss them. He put one hand on her throat and pushed her gently away. But, his other hand was in her hair and pulled it roughly back right before the daisies were to spill out.

"You're not to wear corsets anymore. Nothing is to leaves marks on you but me ... from now on." He whispered and thrust fiercely.

"Let me go!" She moaned and pushed off of him, which made her fall on the floor. The minute she hit the floor he squirt onto his pants.

She glared at him as she held the ripped corset.

"What's wrong, pet? Did I ruined your favorite torture device." He sighed a bit out of breath.

"You betray your party! Anarchists don't believe in owning property." She said coolly as she rose and went to the kitchen to put her dress back on corsetless.

"I was playing the game with you, Love...sorry." He mumbled buttoning his shirt crocked. She hadn't remembered him taking it off, but she remembered leaning against his chest.

She felt an empty giggle escape her, but then looked livid. This is why people said she was mad. "I remember someone else that used to play with me like that!"

"Oh really! Is that so? And did you come for him so many times that his cock drowned in you too?" He snarled. She smacked him so hard that his whole face turned with her hand. Then she did it again. They stood there fiercely listening to each other breath, waiting for someone to fold. That's when Drusilla heard a voice.

"La,La,mmm,Ba."

"Divya! Oh firecracker, has gotten free of her crib. I suppose no cage could hold you for long." She laughed so sadly as she picked the baby up who was at her feet.

"That Finn woman wasn't watch-" William began.

"Umm. Hello neighboors....or landlords I should say...Sorry for barging in, but I wanted to give this to you...To take away the headaches from the visions...I mean fainting.. the fainting." Willa said meekly.

"Oh, Willa. You are a creature of light, but I really don't want you to waist your power on me "Drusilla smiled as William looked at his feet sheepishly. She took the bag of herbs the girl presented, and hugged her with her free arm.

"I don't have any power to waist I'm afraid." Willa sighed.

"The trouble is we all do...Don't we, William?" She snipped and she began to cry real tears, not just a whine or a shudder.

"I-I'm sorry, baby...I'm sorry...Drusilla..." William cried and went to touch her.

"LET ME BE! Go off with your blade...I only give myself to my daughter for feeding." She yelled and cried. It was an odd sound. She never yelled. He sucked in his breath and obeyed her.

"I think I know why I laugh madly instead of crying, Willa. The queen always trumps with tears, but no one really wins. Did you see how my tears beat him down?" She asked as Willa hugged her.

"I-I think both of you are taking this power debate much too far." Willa said.

"Indeed." Drusilla laughed.

"Tell me what happened! Did I do something? Should I not have brought this here? I know William doesn't like magic..it's just... What can I do?...Drusilla, I haven't seen the two of you this way since...Oh! Oh no! Is it- he back?" Willa prattled squeezing Dru's hand. Drusilla only nodded.

"I can call my friend, my friend in San Francisco...The potenial I spoke of." Willa shuddered.

"She won't know where Angelus is now...She can't fight him, the poor girl isn't chosen yet. Angelus will want to tie up the lose ends from where they started...He will be saving her for last." Drusilla told her.

"Who?...Drusilla I don't understand!"

"You aren't supposed to...I am not supposed to either, but I'm wicked... and I do...But, don't worry. You will be the savior of us all."

"Me? No, I am just a girl..a...a glorified chemist! We have to go to the counsel! They can get the slayer in Hong Kong!"

"And tell them what, Pet? That Angelus's half-mad only living whore had a vision that he lost his soul...That she doesn't know where he is, but believes he is storming from America to Romania to begin his vengeance at the beginning...The counsel is very logical, so- so we will have to explain logically...That I know him like no other. Better than your friend who loved his human side. Better than his dead mother whore. Those women are on the sides, one in the man, the other in the monster... and I am in the middle...They would give anything to know him like I do...and I would give anything to not know him at all...but then I wouldn't have my presents...None of you." Drusilla smiled with tears in her eyes. Then looked down at her daughter and began to really cry again.

"Oh, Dru...I'm frightened for you! There has to be something I CAN do! A protection spell! Something!" Willa demanded.

"My dear fairy-girl. No one can do anything now...I'll only ask you to take on burdens when you must. For now go back to Alex. Contact your friend in America, but not to come here! She needs you more than I do now."

Drusilla woke up from her dreams but was not frightened. She could see things. She was in a state of twilight where it all made sense and fit in a lovely swirl of colors. When she became more awake all those colors would be come puzzle pieces with round and sharp edges she didn't have the time or skill to put together.

"I was having the most wonderful dream." She cooed to him. She could feel eyes on her. "You were squeezing my life back down into me because it wanted to jump out and get sucked into hell. You saved me. You always save me and others even when you aren't supposed to." His arms totally surrounded her from behind. She liked being small. She leaned back into his reuniting and forgiving arms. He began kissing her bight scar. His mouth was directly on it. Caressing so gently, then circling it with his tongue. Her mouth opened and she moaned violently, hers eyes rolled back in her head but she saw nothing.

"I love you, William... I've always loved you." She smiled wide. Then, she froze. Cold. Numbing cold.

"It ain't your boy, Baby. It's your savior." Angelus whispered in her ear.

Little bit was screaming an angry roar of a cry. William understood his baby. He had been crying like that himself, while his wife fed her downstairs. What could possibly make him feel so much anguish? That didn't matter now. Poor little bit was howling. The view from behind his eyelids glowed orange with the bedroom light. It bore into his head with his daughter's crying. He tried to lift his head up and open his eyes and failed. Cocaine and its bloody crashes! He should quit it all together as she did. He didn't need the courage it provided in order to do what he wanted now.

"Div... Divya." He groaned empathetically with the screaming baby.

"Is she not taking the breast, Love?" He asked half opening his eyes. He saw the side of his wife looking all too bright. The side of her breast exposed to him. Her arm. Her face. So white. So full of perfect slopes. Her eyes were down cast. She had been angry with him for something. Was she still? He remembered, she had accused him of being too rough. This happened at times. She asks him too pull and sometimes he loses his grip and the band snaps back and hits her. Sometimes it seems the action she loved most was he kissing better his mistake, but other times she was angry before he even got the chance. It all depended on what she remembered or what she sensed about people other than him. But, only he could make her feel better or good or the feeling she had no word for. He reached out to her. She instantly grabbed his hand. She was shaking. He then remembered he had touched her in an angry way. He broke a dish too. Why the hell would he do that?

"Baby... I'm sorry. I'm a horrible, pathetic, man. Tell me you could never be afraid of me." He begged as tears blurred his eyes more. He laid his head in her lap, and reached out across the wrinkly plane of her gown. She didn't push him away. She couldn't be frightened of him if she was going to let him comfort his angry bit.

"Love, where's the-"

"You're a horrible pathetic excuse for a man... and I could never ever be the slightest bit afraid of you." The Irish voice said with glee. Angelus laughed as William's body shot up.

"Oh, and she's not offering the breast to this wailing cursed thing...but to me...for the life of this...thing." He sighed. Angelus literally overshadowed Drusilla. He was holding the angry baby too carelessly in his arm. William dashed back behind the bed, and then came back to his wife's side.

"Shakespeare...looking for these." He said holding William's spectacles, and then crushing them in his hand. "I didn't like the way you ended my story, so I came to change it. Oh, shit...Now you can't write this down...God, I get so ahead of myself.." He mock sighed not keeping the laughter out of his voice.

"I am sorry...I am so so sorry. I should always answer whatever you ask of me..I did not see this. I saw him in America with--Take Divya. Raise her prepared to face him...Kill me-" Drusilla clung to William and sobbed and flinched when Angelus shouted.

"Shut-up! THERE ARE RULES HERE NOW! You know I can't understand you when you sob! I know you are not used to rules and order anymore, so I'll give you a chance. The first rule is: Follow all the rules, or you will find yourself out of daughters. The second rule is silence!...Ah, silence...Good. I bet it's rarely heard around here." He smiled as he now held Divya more carefully. She stopped crying but still fussed.

"I think I have some harried fathers break the first rule on purpose." He giggled "But, you seem to be a man who can afford to care for a parasite, as you are living off MY story yourself." He growled now. The looming man sighed. William thought he looked like an ape dressed in the best of brooks brothers. How did he find clothes big enough to fit him?

William gently pushed back his wife so he could close her dress. His jaw was clenched until he gave Drusilla a small smile. After he made sure it was buttoned straight.

"I liked your old dolls better, they were quiet and didn't smell of piss." Angelus told Drusilla. William now looked at him fully for the first time. He did not look away, but glared with all the stinging of the words he could not say. Angelus whistled and laughed to Divya who he seemed to hold lovingly now. The baby began to cry again.

"Uh...oh! Someone's breaking the rule... Just like your Ma...Your own worst enemy." He placed his hand on top of the babies head.

"Angelus, please!" Drusilla put her hand on the monsters hand and the other on the baby.

"Are YOU breaking the rule Drusilla? Of course, you are the harried one who wants to be rid of this brat. Thank God I am here to free you of this life long parasite!" He snarled.

It was then Angelus changed his face into vampire face. William wondered what he had been waiting for. Then he realized Angelus wanted to appear calm and cavalier. It was his style, and his style was the only thing he cared for. If he used his vampire face, it would be admitting that he was angered or intimidated. Angelus only turned now to his vampire face so he could kill the baby, but he would make sure his style wasn't cramped.

"Coward!" William barked.

"Excuse me, I think I heard a comment from the balcony." Angelus scowled. Drusilla was still trying to grab the baby from Angelus.

"That's the first thing you're going to do to make up for the time you were the weeping sap I saw last time! You're going to snap the neck of the most helpless one here! You disappoint. In my mind you were much more of an artist...I mean, this is it?...You lurk in shadows and sneak in on us in our sleep... I would think after losing yourself you'd want to make a bigger come back."

"Just you wait boy." He smiled.

"That bitch must have left you again and you have no woman to answer to. I wonder how different you are from the last time I saw you...All weak and practically pleading to die at the hands of a woman...Too weak to do it yourself, leaving all the real work to the women as usual." He smiled.

"That wasn't me...It was that Shiite spell that the whore of a girl released me from." Angelus roared turning into vampire face again. Angelus's eyes were only focused on William now sneering, even though Dru had her hands on Divya.

"'Oh Drusilla, you have no idea how much blood stains my hands. But the worst of it is what I did to you. My only peace is that you're happy now. Perhaps, if you killed me now there would be some justice..Boo-hoo.'" William mocked Angelus with a smile. The baby had stopped crying as if she wanted her Daddy to have quiet. William's eyes were twinkled as he smirked with sarcasm. He held tight to that look. He almost lost it when Dru let out a whimper. She knew. He couldn't look at her because if he did the bastrad would know too. He wanted too look at her so badly. Just one last time.

Angelus wordlessly pushed Drusilla down and let go of Divya. William could hear her thud on the wood and yelp. She must have had hold of the baby because he could hear his daughter singing now. William wished he could understand baby songs. She was babbling about a tangential thing because she was happy and unaware.

"I never noticed how pretty you were...Dru likes her pretty small things...Oops! Daddy's gone and broke another dolly." He lifted William by the shirt and walked him into the wall. William heard a crack and realized it was the wall as it met his head.

"Please! Without my cup I can't go to the tea party." William heard his wife cry, as he slid down the wall like food thrown there by his daughter.

"You were not so quick to beg when I snapped the last one...But, you didn't really care for him all that much...Though maybe you cared for him more than this one, because you tried harder to save the other one by running off to the convent...too bad that didn't work out for all parties involved...accept you. You seem to have a good chunk of money, is that from all the dead relatives? Or is it from having your pretty man write about me? When will you realize it all comes back to me, Lover?" Angelus snickered.

"We were never lovers! You drove me mad and it made me do awful things only to survive. Survive in the dirt with the worm...See the weeds." She cried.

"Oh C'mon, Dru. It wasn't as though you were like me...You had a soul..You had a choice not to enjoy it, not to love me. I gave you everything you wanted, and that was all you cared about...A loving family, dresses, dollies, and more damn dresses...And finally Dru was so rewarded for her visions...The very reason Mummy hated you was why I loved you, and there was no more bothersome moderation or chastity to worry about...Kind of like your shit life now, but you have all these people to worry about now...You never had to worry for me Dru...It is I who took care of you always, no?...And now you have this boy and that screaming banshee' there. You had no responsibility, no grief, you have an abundance of it now, don't you? You should not fight fate. God's plan has you being evil...How many times must I say it? It all leads back to me...Lover." He stood over her as she sat on the floor gripping the fussy Divya.

When William had seen his first vampire it was merely confusing. You never mentioned Angelus was disfigured. What was terrifying was the fact that Angelus was indeed an artist, and a good one. An artist creating a reality his wife could fall into as his slave. The fact that he had the strength of ten men was hampering as well.

"We are all connected above and below the earth...The path of the cards." She cried. She sounded so frightened with that statement because she was being resculpted by him again. As the vampire laughed, it occurred to William the bastard wasn't really interested in what her madness was like, or figuring out the meaning of what she said. For all his obsession, he was only interested in his own power to make her go mad, and how the visions served him.

William coughed up blood.

"Sheeait! This boy's got moxy! It would have been so clean if I had taken him out with one punch and brought you back to the girl you were."

"My poor king...My broken cup." She cried but then laughed. "He had fish in his tummy...He was effulgent. Do you see his light?" It made William cry a little to call her back to this awful place.

"Dru, the queen of cup's princess needs to see her birthday party, Love." William begged.

"Yes...Yes...It's not her last party is it? Not even her first. She has more than twenty." Drusilla smiled.

"She will have more than one hundred, and so will you." William said.

"So, my suspicions are correct. You actually understand my little mad girl that I worked so very hard on... I was trying to ruin her for other men...But, I suppose I did ruin her for a real man..Still, you shouldn't mess with another man's work... These are nice...Korans late 18th century...Did my story by these?" He smiled taking the swords off the wall turning to William again.

"Its not you bloody story. The vampire in it was scary, not a lay about brought to life by a heartless dead whore." William laughed. It was bitter and slow. He only stopped for a moment when the sword landed in the wall by his head. It was so close it stabbed his hair to the wall. He looked over and saw and laughed more loudly.

"That...was for you mouth.....Psst..I missed on purpose...I been waiting years for this. You know how I am when I've been waiting...I make the most of it...Remember your real Daddy, Dru? "

"What are you talking about? Mr. Drake died of natural causes!" William spat before Angelus could turn to see Drusilla.

"Ah, yes!" Angelus said glaring at William "Pretty boy sucked a lot of Scotland Yard cock to make it look like that...You are such the vandal of fine work...So, you will be one of my finest pieces I'll make for your wife. A poetic end for a poet...I love it!" Angelus said as he took the sword out of the wall and caressed William's face with it. When William exhaled he could feel the blade sting a little.

"There's nothing you can try to destroy that I can't create into something better, Angelus...Look at the book...It is far more interesting than you." William goaded. Angelus smiled.

"No need to duck." He said and then threw the second blade above William's head.

"Hmmm...No, even If we gave you extra points for being a weak human...I'd still think I'm better at throwing blades wouldn't you say?" Angelus asked as William made sure to keep eye contact with him.

"It was a nice shot, though..right in the Angel's mouth." Angelus now winked at William who opened his bloody mouth in shock.

"Nice work with the other stuff too by the way...Three times, above average performance for a man your age. Smackin' it in the middle of the kitchen-classy touch." He whistled his amusement growing.

"And the second act was great with all that manly vigilante crap. I was on the edge of my seat...but... The finish was a big disappointment. It needed... to be more dramatic. The overture can be her favorite part, but Dru needs a big finale to be satisfied. Maybe if the redhead walked in a wee bit sooner.. I understand need for the cocaine...." He sighed and giggled.

"I mean what mere human man can keep up with the sexual appetite I unleashed in my baby and yes she drowned my cock over and over...And she never once pulled away as she did from you when I laid down the law. She always told her Daddy how she loved him." He sang sarcastically. William spit a tooth and surprisingly large amount of blood and siliva into Angelus's face. Angelus wiped the blood onto his hand and licked it.

"You are so adorable... So much more moxy then last time I saw you, who knows what you could have become." He said.

"The only reason your are alive is because my wife wanted you that way, and she convinced me death was too good for you. You needed the suffering only immortal damnation could bring, and not being a man of faith, I was sure that you would get it if you stayed in this world." William spat.

"I am sure that is what she told you her reason was for not killing me. Well, we know who wears the pants here... But, Dru doesn't like wearing pants, do you Lovey? Daddy, will let you where all the corsets you want." Angelus called to Drusilla. William smiled. Angelus turned around to find that Drusilla wasn't there.

"WHERE IS SHE?" Angelus demanded punching William in the stomach.

"WHERE?" He demanded in vampire face again dragging William up by the hair.

"I've been so taken with you, I hadn't noticed that she left." William smirked.

"If she's in this house I'll find her! I'm familiar with all the places one can hide in this hole." He grumbled.

"How did you get into my bloody house?" William demanded suddenly realizing that Angelus's arrival violated known laws. But, everything glorious and horrid seemed to do so.

He growled and hit William's head against the wall, but then he composed himself. He shook his head and his smirk let out a little laugh.

"I've always been here! She is mine! I made her! After me, instead of being an old maid she made your pansy ass stand up and fight! Your ass is mine! This house is mine!" Angelus growled as he hit William. William knew Angelus was holding back to keep him conscious. Angelus did not like to do things quickly as he said. His vanity would allow his wife and daughter to be safe.

"Paths! Paths! too many paths! I could have made his face like iron, and he would be the one of us to still have a heart." Drusilla said shrilly, as she walked into the room. There were blood droppings on the shoulders of her nightgown

"Dru?" William whispered dazed.

"Ah! Look whose back! Just in time! Daddy, almost made another boo-boo. I was going to kill him without you here. See...I realized...I made a mistake with you, dearie. I only killed the men in your life...Well, if you don't count all the nuns, but who counts nuns? They're like after dinner mints... Anyway, with all the men gone you sure clung to Daddy...But, then I thought: Damn it! It woulda been better if I killed all the women too...We can count your boy here as the second fallen woman...He's pretty and he cries a lot." Angelus gasped in excitement.

"My second Mummy. She breathed all frost and I just thought it was because she was being cold to me." She said slowly. She sat on the bed and drew her knees up the her chest.

"That's nice, Honey, but that was very naughty running off. You know you have to be punished." Angelus said softly.

"Good intentions have a paved road of their own." She said softly and started rocking back and forth.

"Sorry, baby but.." Angelus sighed as he punched William in the face again."You made it this way...Maybe you really want your boy hurt, hmmm? I mean he was quiet nasty to you... But, you like that."

"She falls from the fist, but is saved by it. She falls from the fist, but is saved by it. She falls from the fist, but is saved by it." Drusilla repeated into her lap.

"Dru...Go." William choked. Her expression was unreadable

"The queen must be at her own tea party... If she's not her servants get so very hurt." She cried and then giggled, and slid to the floor like he had when Angelus slammed his head into the wall.

"Drusilla, I know you can hear me! Now go!" William commanded swallowing back blood. Angelus let go of William who fell to the ground.

"I don't think that she will be leaving, Lad. Even if she was sane enough to go, she knows I'd find her. She would let me come." He picked Drusilla up from the floor.

"Snake in the woodshed."She laughed as he threw her on the bed.

"I'll bet you knew I was coming here before I did...Speaking of my coming, too bad hubbie will be too far gone to see it. I do get ahead of myself." He smiled. Then he screamed as his face smoked. on one side.

"I wouldn't worry about it. I'm quiet awake." William heaved a painful breath as Angelus backed away from the cross on his face.

"Poor, Poor, Daddy. He hates to rely on the classics for his art. The crucifix just works so well." Drusilla

"Now, honey, you know that is the only way I can get you to come out and play." Angelus said in a soft chaste tone, but William could see he was in pain.

"She wasn't talking to you, you mother fucking corpse!" William roared. What would it take to scar him permanently before he died?

"He's spry, pretty smart and he has a filthy mouth...Too bad we have to rip him to pieces, for confusing you... We'll do it nice and slow... Remember you Mother superior, Dru? The finger nails I pulled out...by the end I dunno who was more crazier... You or her... You put all of her nails in a jar and keep them as pets before we went to France." The vampire smiled rubbing the cross burn on his face.

"They stopped scampering and singing. They died. I thought they were happy in the little house I made. I put holes in the top so they would have air. I didn't mean to hurt them! You kill all my Mummies!" She was staring at her own fingernails and crying.

"Drusilla leave here now!" William roared.

"That's right, I do... It'll be just you and me... That Darla-she had her good points, but she was such a jealous lass... Everything had to be her way or she'd hound me and hound me... But now we are both free of our nagging women Dru whether they fled or were crucified." Angelus laughed. Clever, and William was to be the second fallen woman, second to the Mother superior. But, didn't Angelus say he didn't count the nuns? He didn't counts the nuns!

"The tower of babble has fallen on the priestess." Drusilla laughed madly.

"What did you do? Fucking bastard! What did you bloody do? Dru where is Divya?" William demanded crossing between panic and rage. Dru had left with the baby. He had seen it. The baby was going to live to be a woman. Dru had seen it. William was holding the cross like a burning stick as far away from himself and as close to the vampire as possible.

"Tell yer boy what Daddy did in a little bit of a clearer way." The vampire smiled. William swore to himself that he saw Drusilla leave with the baby, as he began to doubt it. How could a man fight if he couldn't trust his own eyes?

"The Angel... He came for my nursemaid. She died like the only man she ever really loved...Only her cross was drawn in her own blood by the Angel...of death. Dru brings the Angel to everyone she loves. Dru is a special girl...Aren't I Daddy? Am I still special and good?" Drusilla pleaded as her voice broke. She wasn't looking at either Angelus or William, but at the ceiling.

"You are to me, baby... Maybe you aren't good for the people with morals, but you are good for me." Angelus said gently as he kissed the top of her head. She took his hand. She took the bastard's hand.

"Help me...You're the only one with the power to stop it. Betty was right I should not have led this life...She thought it was dangerous for me, but she is the one who went cold for it...That's not fair." Drusilla whispered.

"Oh God!" William yelped in realization. He had forgotten that the nanny even existed.

"Have you found the Lord, William?" Angelus asked smugly. "The old woman would be happy to know. It's amazing how easy it is to get invited into a house when you say you have found the Lord...And it's amazing what a house full of drunken fornicating heathens don't hear when they are practicing their wicked ways. All the noises of sin can hide the noises of pain and death."

"Only for so long my Angel. Tick, Tock, dickery-dock the mouse runs up the clock." Drusilla laughed. William didn't want give himself false help by demanding she leave.

"I'll cut your sack off and stuff it down your throat!" William said with his jaw set stepping towards Angelus, who now was only looking at Drusilla with giddiness.

"Oh, now there's an idea'r worth havin' that woulda spiced up the book ya wrote. But, why don't ya leave the actual doing to me, boy." Angelus smiled and stepped towards William deliberately slow.

"Oh, do come at me again." William's voice road in waves of anger. He really wanted the vampire to come at him while he held the cross. What did he have to lose now as his wife held the killers hand? Divya. He had Divya. He was not a seer, but he knew where his wife went with her. She was such a kind girl to rent that space to Alex and Willa for nothing.

"Why don't you come at me?" Angelus said and began laughing. "What we have here, Laddie, is a showdown... That's what the yanks call it in the West... It's when the two sides fin-"

"I know what a bloody showdown is, idiot Mick!"

"Really, I'm impressed there be many a' things ya just can't learn from books." Angelus said purposely thickening his accent. "But, you love those Yanks...Can't blame you. They have lose morals...If Drusilla really wanted to fend me off she should have married that brick layer yank that little red headed mouse snagged. Then she could have a naughty thing with the slayer, while he ran about with ladies as well. You two are so taken with them...Maybe Drusilla and I will pay 'em a visit. You think they might know where your little Deirdre is? ...Oh, Lad you're shaking did I say something?"

"Her name is Divya...It is a Hindu name meaning divine brilliance...She'll always be divine, even before she is chosen, and she will end in brilliance." Drusilla said to Angelus as if they had been casually conversing. Her tone and words made him drop the cross and laugh madly himself. Bitch.

"Ah my Drusilla! She never stops being cute. You still have a love for those backward brown people? We'll feast on them." Angelus smiled. She looked at him. Her expression unreadable.

"Is this it, Drusilla? Are you not even going to try to fight him? Are you just going to let you mind cave? Have the past three years meant nothing to you that's worth fighting for?" William yelled as snot ran down his nose. Drusilla responded by plugging her ears and whining.

"The tides will turn again quickly, and I don't know whether to push or pull. So, I stand. Stand in the sand...Stand in the sand. Stand in the sand." She was rocking with her eyes closed.

"I guess your little domestic life is just too boring for her." Angelus laughed.

"Look at me, Drusilla! You're going to let him kill our girl!" William demanded.

"Showdown, Daddy...Lay all the cards down...Get the one up you sleeve and throw it down hard, and then we'll go." Drusilla smiled eerily at William.

"Yes, Baby. I am losing interest in your toy..." Angel began to sigh as he moved towards William. At that moment William threw down his knife into Angelus foot.

The vampire merely grunted in pain. William kept hitting Angelus and keeping his hands away from the knife with the cross. William then hammered the knife further into Angelus's foot and the floor.

William grunted. He fell back on the floor when Angelus hit him again. He had fists like crowbars. William knew he couldn't take another.

"You will die so very slow, at your wife and my lover's mercy." Angelus whispered with a painful grin as he bent down to pull out the knife.

"Yes, yes...You're not the first bloke to have shagged another man's wife before he had her you know, but it's over." William smirked with false bravado. Suddenly the Vampire yelped again. William had no idea why. It actually made him uneasy. William may have been out of control, but he always excepted to understand what was happening.

"You always liked swords, Daddy...So smart. They are korans! I pretended they were for decoration, but they are really for Divya...One day. These swords say all kinds of things... Happy, happy, things, and why not they live in such a happy home." Drusilla chirped as she held one sword and looked at the tip until she went cross-eyed. The other she had already stuck in Angelus's foot.

"OoooH! Do you fancy yourself a slayer now, Darlin'? I think some sanity is required for the job. Besides, they don't fuck vampires...Not after you torture them anyway. " Angelus spat and sneered at Drusilla now, as if she were William's stand in. This made Drusilla pout.

"I am just like any other prey to you." She whispered sadly.

"No. No. You are to be my first girl. My only girl. Forever." He smiled. He reached out and held the side of her face. She closed her eyes. Forever. Her life would stop spinning. She wouldn't mourn what was, and what's to come. It would all just seem so very funny. Dead people would be like dollies and candy. Naughty boy nailed Dru's dolly to the wall, and painted a cross with red cherry candy. It must be so sweet to have your feet nailed to the floor with blades, and to know that you will heal by tomorrow as if nothing had happened. He grabbed the other side of her face.

"Will you break my neck now, like you did to those pretty skinned girls? They never knew anything of horror. They just knew the release." She sighed.

"I'd never hurt you, Did I ever hurt you really? Did I ever leave a bruise on you that wasn't from mutual pleasure?" He smiled. "We've been apart for too long. You're bound to get confused without me. But, I know you were always thinking of me... You had your boy write a book about me for God's sake, and even though he was the one who got you in the end of the story, I'm the one who gets you in life." He ran his hands down her face. She stepped out of his reach.

"Drusilla..." William pleaded. He had tears of blood.

"So much pain...he has. So much pain from love. It's so trying to feel the pain for two...To see all the places nasty Dru cracks the cup. Even if he was like you, all that would motivate him would be his still bruised red heart...It hurts." She said shrilly. As she grabbed William's hand. He barley squeezed back. He looked at her with those eyes all swollen like a black goldfish. She had a black goldfish. She called it Oxy short for "oxymoron". He would come to the top of the bowl when he saw her.

"Why don't you put him out of his misery?" Angelus suggested as he grunted to take the knife out of his foot. Drusilla smiled at the sword as she moved it.

"BITCH!" Angelus growled in vampire face. He was holding his shoulder.

"The sword told me you hurt a slayer there." Drusilla smiled as Angelus leaned back but then forward as his feet were still stabbed to the floor.

"Break a girls heart and she'll be yours forever. You always knew what would speak to my heart. I want to say something to yours!" Drusilla closed her eyes and winced as she felt the sword go through his chest. She always loved to carve the jack-o-lantern on Halloween. She never let her sisters have a turn.

"Dru! Look at me, God damn it!" Angelus grumbled. She was holding the sword to his throat.

"You DON'T want to kill me, Drusilla." He said calmly with a laugh. The only way to laugh as your heart was bleeding all over your clothes and the floor is to be dead.

"You want to kill HIM and come with me, Dru. I know you saw me coming and you did NOTHING to stop me. Give up this doomed life, and you will no longer be miserable." Angelus pleaded now.

"Drusilla please end this for us... For you." William was weary.

"You are like the tides and the moon! Both of you!...This is only a sword not a pen...This part is not for us to create. None of us hold power with this." She yelled. Angelus bent down and grabbed the blades from his feet with a grunt.

"Drop them!" William said threw gritted teeth holding the cross an inch from the vampires face as he was still bent down holding the blades.

"The boy's got his third wind." Angelus smirked, but he also was panting weakly. He dropped the knife and the sword by emphatically letting them go.

"You can leave a trail of you own blood now. Out the window backward. Let me see your hands." Drusilla demanded as she pointed the sword at Angelus's throat.

"You... Always loved my hands." He panted and smiled. She stuck him under the chin.

"Your right. I have to say goodnight. I don't want it to be like this for us, honey. I want my taking of you to be clean, like before..Though... You always did like it a little rough...Just wait until I sire you." He giggled. She felt his Adams apple move under the blade. Then he was gone. Jumped out the window like a broken hearted lover. She almost expected to see his body smashed on the sidewalk, but he was nowhere.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" William demanded. Alex had come busting in he had kicked in the door of the bedroom and cracked it, which was very impressive even if the door had been open.

"Oh, Christ on a cross!" Alex said as he was holding one and a stake.

"He's gone, Mate...Lucky for you. Do all of you have a sodding death wish? Next time you both stay in the cozy little house next-door! Do you hear me?" William grumbled.

"I had to come. We should really get you to a hosp-" Alex began.

"DO YOU BLOODY HERE ME?" William yelled.

" Yes..Yes..I tried to keep Dru from coming back here, William, I really did...I couldn't bring myself to use force on her." Alex pleaded.

"S'okay, Alex, you're a good man...An idiot man who thinks he can take on the scourge of Europe with a cross and a little stake, but a good one." William smiled. Alex was good. William wasn't going to like having to tell him that next time he is to use force on Drucilla in matters of saving her.

"Do you hear me Dru?" William asked her more softly.

"A queen can't lose her cup when it holds everything for her...She will be out a sword but that isn't for a while." She smiled. William took a painful breath to yell.

"Where is my firecracker?" Drusilla asked Alex so happily he couldn't yell.

"D-Debra.. I mean Dina...You mean Dina? She's with Willa. Safe and sound. " Alex answered.

"Even blind and mad I'll keep her that way for as long as I can." Drusilla smiled.

William snuck in to his own house as if he were going to rob his own wife while she slept. He laughed as he saw his face and hands filled with blood. He cursed as he heard the baby cry and Drucilla wake. He began to scrub his face and hand quickly.

Who knew how Drucilla felt? She loved when William stayed home and played at being anarchist and philosophers and had parties. She was a sweet hostess as usual. She was so pleasant and lucid, until the others left. She refused to talk about Angelus. She tried to stop William from hunting him or other vampires. She cried and then gave him the silent treatment. When she started acting more mad then usual he told her he wouldn't hunt vampires. But, of course she knew that he and Alex weren't out at a pubs as they said they were. Dru came in the bathroom wearing a green flowing night gown. He wonder where she had gotten it. One breast was folded out of the top of it, like a giant white chocolate truffle. His daughter suckled. It really was her only concern.

"Take her out if here until I'm done." He said curtly as he scrubbed.

"I should leave with her-leave and not come back! You have red on you hands-You've been caught." Drusilla said holding Divya who was crying a blue streak again. William rolled his eyes. He didn't find his wife's prattle endearing at the moment.

"Drucilla, I have nothing to be caught for. You know what this is on my hands." He said stiffly as he scrubbed his hands.

"You are no Macbeth. You won't find him you know. Not until he turns around again... I spied it. That is why I don't worry. That's why I let you go. My boy needs to not get killed, it will make him stronger." She smiled.

"Do you know where Angelus is, Drucilla?" He asked trying to sound as calm as possible. He sounded like her was asking his wife if she had taken money out of his wallet.

"You have yet another black eye." She stated blankly. She went to leave the bathroom and he sprang in front of her. She didn't flinch. She giggled.

"You have been fighting too long... I am not your prey." She laughed like he had read her a stupid love poem. Meanwhile, he had more of other's blood on him than his. She had taught herself to not be afraid when she should be. That was foolish.

"I kill murdering monsters, they aren't prey!" He growled.

"You hunt. They are the hunted. They are the prey." She stated simply with a small smile.

"You make them sound like poor little field mice! Humans are their prey! You are his bloody prey! Where is Angelus?" He demanded.

"You won't be prey, as long as you stay here in London." She sighed as if she was bored of him.

"Does he talk to you? Can you hear him in your mind calling you? Is he promising you dolls?" William spat.

"Is that supposed to be cruel? Poor boy. Knows nothing of cruelty." She smiled and touched his face. He grabbed her wrist. She gasped.

"Perhaps, the only reason I haven't showed you cruelty is because you are holding my daughter, and if cruelty is the only way I can save you both I wonder if you would call it that!...A good discussion for the next party, no?" He was using his branding iron smile.

"You are quite good at threats though, Quiet good." She laughed.

"WHY ARE YOU PROTECTING HIM?" He roared. Divya began to cry, and so did William.

"It isn't him I am protecting, Daddy." She said softly and handed him the baby before he could turn away. He looked at her and knew that she was sincere. It was almost enough. He held the fussy baby in one arm, and grabbed his wife with the other.

"She is so like you, our daughter. Will of stone, heart of mush. When she cracks it's only on the inside, and lashes out the world...lash..lash..lash." She said poking playfully Divya who giggled now.

"She is more daddy than daddy...YOU," She said poking him in the chest, "Have a HUGE battle ahead of you... Keeping our girl from lashing out at people... Unless they deserve it."

"Why does this job fall upon me alone?... Drucilla?" He demanded.

"Oh..little lamb caught in the black-berry patch..back..back..." She sang and looked only at the baby, as if he was not the one holding her. If he didn't know her he would say she was mad, even though it wasn't mad to sing to a baby.

"Maybe you really are mad... Maybe I should have you locked away, it does seem to help wives listen." He said coolly and dropped her arm. She laughed.

"Lash! A master of threats...Your eye is swelling with your head." She smiled. The baby coughed and sighed.

"You are going to answer me when I get back." He said coolly still.

His voice steady, his eye throbbing, his heart begging. He brought the baby to her crib holding his breath as he went past the nanny's room even though he, Willa, and Alex had cleaned all the blood.

He supposed other husbands did not take a break from fiercely demanding answers to put the baby to bed, and weep. He supposed they did all it in one smooth slick attack. Relentless, like killing a vampire, or convincing one away from it's prey. HE was supposed to be the defiant dark horse. He was no good at being the tyrant no matter what Drusilla said. He would have to be.

He found her in the kitchen still singing that sodding lullaby with a little package in her hand. More magic rot no doubt.

"Drusilla." He said firmly. She turned and smiled, truly looking innocent. Truly looking like she wasn't stabbing at him using herself for the voodoo doll. She loved those sodding far out religions after all.

"I-I want to know..." Her smile made him lose his phased. "Why does the job of keeping Divya a good girl fall on me alone?"

"Oh..Oh...It's doesn't...She will have other watchers...though when she turns 18 you will smash one to bloody bits for some reason...and she will let you...Ooow, I spy the two of you can being so brutal together." She laughed and laughed. He knew this was real. She wasn't trying to put him off. She was truly lost in some vision of him pounding on a man that did something to his daughter. That didn't trouble him, there would be lots of that.

"Dru..Where are you, Love? You talk of Divya and I and Alex and a Yank slayer-"

"You could love her. She won't mean to hurt her...She won't mean to." Drusilla trembled.

"But, Dru where are you? Are you there in any of these visions?" He asked softly.

"Oh!" She tisked as if he asked her who would win the brown Derby.

"When you see from your own eyes you don't see yourself, my sweet sweet boy."

"I do if I really want to. I find a bloody mirror!" He snapped. There was that anger.

"Oh, William! Next time I'll ask the little man who runs my vision carousel to stop it so I can find a looking glass...Do you prefer a full length one? Should I check to make sure I haven't a corset on?" She giggled.

"It's because you go to him, isn't it? That is why you aren't with us in these bloody visions! That is why you kept him alive again, Drusilla- again!" He roared grabbing her inches from her face. She laughed. She could laugh like that when he yelled like this! He remembered taking her in every way all over this kitchen counter that night more clearly than ever. She had laughed then too. He wasn't to be taken seriously because he couldn't hurt her.

"You know I hate him, you know it...You're the mad one." She laughed.

"Am I? Love and hate are like yin and yang...So easy to flip to the other side..hmm?"

"William, you are cruel with that tongue, it's just I am not used to such cerebral cruelty. " Tears were in her eyes now. Good. Maybe if she saw that he could hurt her...

"What does that fuck give you that I can't?" He demanded. He swore because maybe did that would seem less cerebral.

"Death! He can give me death! An end to my suffering!" She was crying now. He hadn't wanted her to really cry. He hadn't wanted her to really answer. He just wanted it to stop.

"I didn't realize your life with me was so horrible!" He cried now too. He kept telling her he was owed an answer, and she had given him one. One he guessed he deserved.

"No, it is because it is so wonderful...I was to be chaste...I was to be a good society girl...Quiet and pleasant and clean...Then he came...He took almost all of them! He left me Mum and sisters so they can judge and hate me, that is probably what kept me half-sane...REALLY being mad would have been better...Less pain, you wouldn't have wanted me-"

"I know I would have...even when you out of you mind you are the only one who-" He wasn't yelling anymore. But, somehow he felt worse. She reached up and put her hand over his mouth.

"I am wicked. I'd rather live my life with you then any other life I would have had...If Angelus had let me be, if he never killed my family, Do you think I would have went to you on that street? Or would I have been home with my aristocrat husband, or in the nunnery..to block out seeing all these paths and mazes flowers get trapped in!"

She cried. He held her to keep her from sinking to the floor. An onlooker wouldn't understand that he was now crying for a totally different reason. What was it she had said? Someone was always watching. If they were they would never understand how he loved his wife due to his horrid behavior. The tears of self pity shed just moments before these disgusted him. He remembered now she had ended up crying when he made love to her that night. He couldn't remember why. He had done something awful. He had ruined it all.

"I should be the one to die early by Angelus! I so very much want to be the one! But, all those paths are blocked! It isn't fair!" She sobbed. Her hands were so cold and it scared him. He realized she had been holding ice in a cloth for him. She had been here chipping away at ice for him for his eye. His eye was swelling like his head indeed, but he hadn't noticed.

"You should just let me sit here and swell around the eyes until I'm bloody blind." He whimpered as she caressed his face. Her hands had froze from all that chipping. Even though it hurt to be touched, it felt too good not to take it.

"Angelus...he wouldn't kill you he'd only...only make you like him..." He began his voice shaking. They never talked about it. She would want to be killed if she became a vampire. He knew would never be the one to do it. He would stop others from doing it. Drusilla was too powerful to have her soul completely taken. Part of it would still be her.

"And that is why I don't go to him...But, I can't kill him either." She sniffed. They were both merely sniffling now, like children that had been beaten five minutes ago.

"Why? Bloody hell! Why? You think he is responsible for your happiness as well as your misery? What about me Dru? Am I just another fucking doll he gave you? What about what I've done? Everything I've ever done has been for you!" He pleaded.

"But you see, now we must both think of another now." She smiled.

"There is no one else for me." He whined. He knew the onlookers would just see him as pitiful, but what was he to do?

"There could be...But, I'm talking about Divya...We must do for her first...Do what we can...There is a vampire that has a soul...He loses it and it keeps finding him..like a shadow with no sun...He saves the world with the vampire slayer. The slayer would die without him and the world would end, William" She said sternly.

"This is a vision you had?" His whining and pleading was gone as he could only be slack-jawed.

"No, you ninney!...It is in many books...Books of Willa's...You should get your nose out of the fiction and anarchists papers sometime!" She giggled.

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I didn't think I would have to before our girl could walk or talk...And it wasn't fun news, so it didn't match the fun time...My visions are cloudy, but my life with you is clear...I would never go to Angelus, with this life that I have...This is such a short life, I wouldn't want to waste more of it banging my head against his fist for having you." She kissed him and pushed him to a kitchen chair as he heard the baby cry again.

"Do you get sick? Do you really go mad from visions? Why do you never talk of yourself...Don't leave me..." He begged and pulled her into his lap, and did it without pain for the first time in days.

"I thought you said that's what I ought of done...Leave you to your swelling and bruiting and such." She chirped as she lifted his pony tail and put a cool hand on the back of her neck.

"Aren't you the sort of girl who never does what she ought?" He smiled sadly. She laughed. It was a good clean almost torment free laugh.

"I believe I am, accept to when it comes to leaving my child. Some of my good grooming remains I'm afraid. The girl needs me." She chirped. She went to rise, and he stopped her.

"I need you. I would have been nothing without you... I..AM nothing...without you. Please, don't leave me." He begged.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake! I'm only going to check on her. Mummy can't be everywhere at once... I'll be back to tend to you later." She tisked.

There was still that society girl in her that could pretend that something someone said was on an entirely different subject. Only she had insight into when she was pretending. And, she loved tending to people when they were all wounded little birds like this. She loved being the mother hen to anyone. He wondered if he was just one of her birds with a broken wing she had wanted to set. To stand out from all her guests did you have to be someone who didn't need her, but who she needed? It was a haunting question.

"Divya, What is it?...Oh you dropped your lamb." Drucilla said soothingly as she picked up the stuffed fabric with a lamb's face sewn on, as soon as her baby fist grabbed it she stopped crying. Drusilla picked her up and kissed her. The baby dropped the lamb again and waited for her mother to pick it up. Before she could bend down Drusilla felt arms encircle her with the lamb in hand.

"She has been testing us with this doll all sodding day! Who gave her this thing anyway? I don't remember it." William sighed in Drusilla's ear. She sighed back. Divya was more difficult without Betty. Drusilla didn't mind, she didn't think William did either, perhaps that was why they sighed. They had moved the baby into their room and even with her dropping her lamb it was nice.

"Dru?"

"All of my hair will fall out." She laughed sounding as far off as she was.

"Drusilla, it won't. I wish you would stop saying that, Its a ridiculous fear." He grumbled as he sat down next to her on the bed.

William was wrong people do desire to give their power willingly. Two very powerful women would wish to give up their power- their lives- for peace. But, there stood William. He was the one who would not allow these women to give up. He demanded that they keep their lives for as long as they could. Was he the one with all the real power? How unfortunate, an ordinary man at the top of this hierarchy. Gripping both these women in the strangle hold of life for as long as possible. So she was right. He was so very obsessed with power, and he held them to it, as ordinary men often do with powerful women.

"It's not a fear and it is not ridiculous. When most women age they get fat or they bend...I don't, but all of my hair falls out...By, then it is white and I wear wigs, so I am not that sad..." She said flatly.

"What- what are you saying? You're alive? Are you well? I knew it, I knew they were all wrong, Dru...You're too strong to die, or really go mad." He said all of this in a gasp and hugged her. She stared blankly at the window as she hugged him tightly.

"But, I am not beautiful, at the end, wilting flowers lose the petals." She sighed quietly.

"You think I care about that...I'll still love you. You don't have to tell me that!" He said holding her by the shoulders as he had just done before when he was yelling. Now he was smiling. She smiled to, for him.

"You do, even though you age better... You'll have scars inside...outside...But you are still beautiful...love makes you beautiful." She asked her voice shaking as she laid down on the bed.

"Is it you who loves me, Dru? Are you with me?" He begged as her pulled her to him.

"Yes,...It is just the two of us...I'll tell you then...I'll tell you everyday." She was breathing hard and her heart was pounding, like she was running from death.

"I love you too, Baby." His kisses fell like rain drops. Tears. She can see Divya. Standing out in the rain. Sixteen years from now. Twenty years from now. Twenty-three years from now. Twenty-three years, that is younger than Drusilla now. Her daughter holds her face up to the rain. Divya has love, from her family that doesn't end with blood ties. But, never from a man. The one man she could love has chosen other women to love and obcess over. Too add insult to injury these women would share so much in common with Divya, but they were not Divya. Drusilla would do anything to have things be different, but she knew any actions would only cause things to turn out as she saw them.

"Do you forgive me?" She cried to William. Huge tears that felt like a jagged nail scrapping out the bottom of her throat.

"There is nothing to forgive. Nothing is your fault. It's all Angelus. I do know that, Love." How right he was, and wrong too. He didn't know. He kissed her again and touched the bight scar on her neck with his finger. It wasn't fair all the things she saw, but couldn't help. Things were happening right now. She knew a girl cried in Hong Kong because she was growing tired. She knew the next girl wanted and dreaded her coming power to kill her lost lover. They were alone. Drucilla wasn't alone, but the words she had to say to her husband burned her up like ropes. It would have been easier to say. The queen of cups is tied. The ropes burn her wrists to the bone as she tries to escape. But, she had to struggle to say the real words because she felt for him as she did.

"William... I have seen awful things all my life and do try to stop them all. I do try, but I can't... I'll keep trying... It is horrid to be given so much power and then contain none where it counts... I can't rid myself of it. Please, forgive me."

"You see something very bad, baby don't you? Tell me." He said kissing her lips. This did calm her. She would tell him, and wouldn't. The truth was Drusilla spoke in metaphor and madness to keep others from going mad. She learned you could love someone that drove you mad, but did they really love you?

"I see blood. So much blood, that it would be delightful for me if I were a vampire... Or maybe it is even sickening for a vampire... The world has a war... But, it's not as it seems. The plan for the world's end has demons behind it. They are stopped... We all do our part to stop them. Angel...Alliances that we never thought possible are formed... We lose people... Death is always an unwanted guest in this house. We think it's over when the war ends. You and I have peace for much of our mortal lives... But. This war William, it only lays ground for such darkness... Such darkness...And, I don't know how the story ends." She said bitterly to the ceiling

"I don't think anyone knows that love... Things will keep going and going, all we can do is live our lives and do all we can." He said that with such ease as he leaned his head into hers

"I think we do." She whispered as she held his face. It was a good face. Not clean. It had a scar.

"I KNOW we do, Love." He said sure and sad.

She loved him so much that she knew she couldn't tell him what she didn't see. She didn't see their daughter with them as they had bent bones and less teeth. She could see her daughter a bright explosion of light in the sky that stayed and stayed longer than anyone thought it would. They would take the pretty fire for granted thinking it would stay in the sky as long they wanted, but then it would burn out. No, it would be extinguished by a turned angel.

End