Jack Sparrow and The Great, Great Trouble
gold borrowed from Disney, silver spun by Blacklabel

Deep in the jungle—dark and damp to say the least—upon a lost island shaped like the moon lays in secret a powerful sword. Now, cliché aside, the thing is truly magnificent. Unmatched, it is, by all other secret, powerful swords, by any measure. A glittering blade of emerald ice topped with a golden handle topped with a glowing orb of infinite wisdom… it is the Sword of Ahku Neko Neko Khar—the One Great Great God.

"Ahku Neko Neko Khar," Will Turner repeated, his brown eyes steady upon those of the pirate. "The One God."

"The One Great Great God." Jack Sparrow pointed out the difference with a ringed finger to the air. "Don't forget the Neko Neko. It's very important."

Will's brows rose.

"As I was saying…"

When Ahku Neko Neko Khar ruled the world, he did so with an utmost respect for prosperity and peace. Wise, he was said to be. Wise beyond all time with full, unemcompassable knowledge of all things. Of course, this was a sore spot for the other Gods and Goddesses, who were not as bright. A few pence short of a pound they were, so to speak. In a none too surprising turn of events, the Gods and Goddesses did something that was—very stupid. They planned an uprising to force Ahku Neko Neko Khar into bestowing his knowledge upon them—which ultimately meant that Ahku Neko Neko Khar would no longer truly be the One Great Great God. They would be the other Gods beside him, all with an equal share in the weight of the world and its secrets.

Now, normally, this would be a brilliant plan. But, as luck and lack of scruples would have it, the Gods and Goddesses forgot something very important.

"They forgot the Neko Neko."

Dark eyes gleamed in the light of the fire as Jack gave a small nod.

The Gods and Goddesses turned to a God by the name of Tetetuzu. Well, Tetetuzu wasn't exactly the most amiable deity. His idea of fun was war and violence and generally any sort of mayhem, chaos, and disorder. Unfortunately, he was also the second most knowledgeable chap in the universe. Now, one plus one is two—that's an incredibly volatile mixture just waiting for an excuse to explode. Coincidentally, Tetetuzu had never much cared for Ahku Neko Neko Khar and his respect for peace above all else. Personality clash of the worst kind and reason enough to plot the divine takeover.

But what Tetetuzu and the rest of the Gods and Goddesses forgot was that Ahku Neko Neko Khar was called such because he was the One Great Great God—wise beyond all time with full, unemcompassable knowledge of all things. Which, of course, included their every plot and plan. Worse though, was that Ahku Neko Neko Khar knew also that he would succumb to their schemes. It was not in the great Peacemaker to fight such a battle, not even with the evil Tetetuzu.

"But if Tetetuzu won, peace on earth would be no more."

Fortunately, Ahku Neko Neko Khar took that into consideration. As Tetetuzu and the loony lot of deities planned their stand, Ahku Neko Neko Khar decided that in the best interest of all of creation, a sacrifice was necessary. A God could only offer what knowledge and insight he possessed. As the other deities made their way to the One Great Great God's palace, Ahku Neko Neko Khar was ridding himself of all of the knowledge they so desired.

When Tetetuzu and the Loony Lot found Ahku Neko Neko Khar, they were stunned. For the One Great Great God was no more and in his place stood a mute and meek deity, stripped of all wisdom and sense. Enraged was Tetetuzu, but none the wiser. He would never know the secret as to where lay the great knowledge and wisdom of Ahku Khar. For into a sword of emerald the One Great Great God had passed His knowledge, and into the orb atop its handle He had passed His wisdom, and to the earth He had ordered it by winged messengers to be hidden from all, save for one, for all of time to come.

Will turned away from the pirate after his dramatic sigh of a conclusion. He considered Jack's story, making sense of what the pirate had told him. It was not that he took the tale seriously. Rather, it was a well-learned sense of suspicion he had come to adopt over the course of their friendship, and several high seas adventures gone wrong, that required his complete and utter attention to the every detail of Jack's woven web of words.

"Hiding in a jungle is a mythical sword that once belonged to a mythical deity."

Baubles bounced as the pirate nodded.

"And you want it."

"I might. Might want it. Perhaps."

Will nodded. "And how do you propose finding this mythical sword that once belonged to a mythical deity if said sword is hiding in a jungle on a lost island and only to be revealed to one for all of time to come?"

"It seems to me that you have once again forgotten something very important, Mr. Turner. So for your sake, I shall remind you..." Jack grinned, gold glinting in the firelight. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!"