The red M&M by CrazyAngel.
Rating: PG (even though I have a suspicion it's just G, but I don't want another one of my stories -as crappy as they are- to disappear from ff.net without warning)
Spoilers: No siree this is spoiler free.
Disclaimer: In some parallel world, I'm sure I own the CSI bunch. However, since I'm not living in that reality now, please don't sue.
Summary: When you're bored you do strange things to amuse yourself. What do Warrick, a red M&M, Sara and a wrench had in common? (Short fic 4 a quick CSI fix)
Author's notes: I'm painfully aware this is horrible. There's absolutely no plot, not even a hint of it but because I love slapstick I decided that I might as well post it. Know that I am aware this fic is insane and statistically impossible taking our CSI personalities in consideration.
I'm not lazy, I'm just a very calm person.
Sara leaned back in her chair, propped her feet on an unoccupied chair and stretched her arms over her head all the while she yawned like a sleepy hippo.
A skinny hippo anyway.
"Ahhhh. . .." She sighed, arms still stretched out, eyes firmly close and reluctant to open. "I'm so utterly. . .bored."
"Ditto," Nick agreed. A few feet from her, he stopped bouncing a tennis ball on the floor to take in the scene.
It reminded him of a documentary he'd seen last afternoon about lions, lounging around all day under the cool shadow of a big tree, belly up and yawing every once in a while.
The four CSI's were lions that shift, no doubt about that, Nick thought. Mooching around the lab until they had all gravitated to the garage and stayed there, consuming oxygen.
Warrick was absently munching M&Ms, flipping them up into the air like coins and smiling every time the sweet got home instead of bouncing off his nose or eyes and onto the floor.
He was absolutely, 100% bored out of his mind too. They all where.
Warrick chuckled silently as he picked a red M&M between his thumb and index finger and held it at eye level. Behind the round chocolate, Sara started to yawn again. Warrick closed one eye and aimed at Sara's open mouth. Nick, who didn't have anything better to do, witnessed Warrick's improvised sport.
'Ten seconds, Warrick has the ball, the Bulls are down by two points. . .Warrick aims and. . .'
Warrick lobbed the M&M at the hoop (Sara's yawning mouth). The chocolate made a delicate curve on the air and went right inside Sara's mouth. Her eyes flew open and she coughed.
'TRIPLE!! The crowd goes wild!!!! GO WARRICK, GO WARRICK, GO WARRICK!' he danced in circles, shaking his hips from side to side to the rhythm of the 'Go Warrick Theme'.
'The Bulls wiiiiiiin the gaaaaaaame!!' Warrick yelped, lifting his arms over his head and smiling at the invisible audience.
Nick snorted the beginning of a laugh but clamped a hand over his mouth when Sara gagged and lost her balance. She flapped her arms on the air for a millisecond, trying to regain stability and then crumpled to the ground with a dull thud.
Catherine jumped in her seat at the sound and flipped down the magazine. Sara was sprawled on the floor and both Nick and Warrick were laughing their asses off.
Good god, they're back to pre-school, Catherine thought.
"I swallowed something!" she coughed and stuck out her tongue, grimacing the whole time. "I eat a fly! Eww! That's grooooss," she moaned.
Warrick started giggling, his lips pressed tightly together in order to avoid looking suspicious. Nick was already rolling on the floor and laughing uncontrollably. Sara, still on the floor swiveled her head towards Warrick.
"What did you do?" she asked, her eyes blazing.
Warrick straightened his shirt and put on a serious face, "It was just an M&M. It wasn't a fly. I'm—I'm sorry, I never thought it would go in. . . " He chuckled.
Catherine frowned, wondering if she'd heard correctly.
Sara scrambled to her feet and wiped the dust of her shirt and pants. She calmly strode towards a table, picked up a huge wrench and grinned to herself.
Warrick's eyes widened and he sprinted out of the garage. Sara sprinted behind him, wrench in hand and a murderous sparkle in her eyes. Seconds later Nick sprinted behind them, not wanting to miss all the fun.
Catherine heard the muffled voice of Grissom saying 'Sara!! Don't run with a wrench in you hand!!'
"Help! Help!" Warrick yelled, "Nick do something!"
"SHE'S RUNNING TOO FAST I CAN'T CATCH HER!!"
Catherine shook her head and continued to read her magazine.
Kids, Catherine thought, they're nothing more than overgrown kids with scientific knowledge.
THE EN—"Ahhhhhhhh! She's nuts!!!" Warrick screamed, glancing over his shoulder to see if Sara was still behind him.
She was. She looked like she was poised for attack, she was going to leap on him any second now.
"Noooo! I'm too cute to die!" Warrick.
Nick had to stop. Short of breath, he squinted up. "Run, Warrick, RUN!!"
Greg appeared in the parking lot, panting.
"I heard Warrick scream. Where's the fire? What's happening?"
Nick pointed at Warrick and Sara running around the parking lot. "That is."
Greg eyes flew open. "Wow, it's like a Cheetah chasing a poor baby gazelle," Greg said and after watching the chase for a moment he enthusiastically added:
"You almost have him Sara!! Keep going!!"
Now. . . The end.
I'm gonna be brief in the Tarzanic style: me need feedback. Ooga Booga scratches her head