A/N: So, I finally finished that Koteshi/Izumo . . . or Kotetsu/Izumo, or whatever the hell you wanna call it . . . and I posted it . . . and then I looked at the little comments people left me on LJ and OH MY GOD IT IS NOT FAIR. *spastic twitch*

Okay, so, explanation: vetlutlunas reviewed it. Which is yay- happy, because I like vetlutlunas's writing and it makes me feel good to get positive feedback from people whose altars I worship at. But is also NOT yay-happy, because she said if I wrote more of the pairing, she'd write me smut. And anyone who does not understand how impossible it is to refuse such an offer has never read vetlutlunas's lemons and must go do so NOW rather than suffer through my over-emotional shit.

Right then. Koteshi/Izumo-ness and some of those freaky parallel paragraphs that I like so much. ^_^ It works on basically the same backstory I established for them in my last installment of ficcage for them, but isn't really any kind of sequel or prequel, just a vaguely related drabblebeast. I just needed characterization for them, and mine is the only version I have to go on, so: same continuity.



"Maybe, Definitely"



Koteshi does not believe that there is such a thing as falling in love twice. He thinks, "okay, this is the person that I love and I'm gonna love them forever." And that's it. Maybe he'd fuck around with someone else or marry someone else, but that doesn't mean he'll love anyone but that original person.

Izumo does not believe that there is really any such thing as love. He thinks, "okay, this person tolerates me and I can tolerate them too, so we may as well hang out for now." And that's it. Maybe he'd be faithful to that person or even marry that person, but that doesn't mean that he'll ever love that person.

Koteshi imagines that the person he is will never change.

Izumo imagines that the person he is will never be stable.

The first time Koteshi remembers meeting Izumo was at an uncertain time in their past. He remembers a quiet kid with a calm expression tossing kunai after kunai into a target, looking bored out of his mind behind the façade.

The first time Izumo remembers meeting Koteshi was not actually the first time they met. He remembers an overly loud kid with a wild, friendly grin holding out a hand to him, looking slightly frightened behind the façade.

Koteshi had said hi. The kid had never answered, but they'd somehow ended up on surprisingly amicable speaking terms by the end of the day.

Izumo had asked him who he was. The kid had visibly flinched, but they'd somehow ended up living in the same apartment by the end of the day.

Koteshi's first memories of Izumo are something that no one else in the world knows about, not even Izumo. Because Izumo doesn't remember anything before "that incident." And he doubts that Izumo would really want to, honestly.

Izumo's first memories of Koteshi are fragmented and he never talks about them, not even with Koteshi. Because he remembers that Koteshi knew more about him than he did. And he doesn't want to know what Koteshi knows.

Koteshi, frankly, knows more about Izumo than anyone. He is one of the only people that remembers Izumo's past even vaguely (because nobody talks about it nobody mentions it it's all so tragic that poor poor boy) and no one spends more time with him than Koteshi.

Izumo, frankly, knows nothing about himself. He is one of the only people he knows who is like this (because everyone else seems to GET it seems to understand seems to be so together so competent and so goddamned normal that it hurts) and is afraid he always will be.

One of the things that never changes is the way that Koteshi feels for Izumo.

One of the things that Izumo is terrified will change is how he feels for Koteshi.

So right now, Koteshi takes everything slow and lazy, smirking and laughing and teasing and going around and around. He has faith in this feeling and knows that it will stay.

So right now, Izumo wishes Koteshi would take everything faster, would stop stalling and do what Izumo himself is too afraid to do. He has no faith in his ability to start it.

Their hands thread together once, briefly, and Koteshi is surprised because despite the fact that they are always together, they have almost never touched.

Their hands thread together once, briefly, and Izumo is shocked that he has managed to take this step because he has never been that forward in his life.

Sometimes, Koteshi thinks that the person he is going to love forever is never going to come along. Then he looks at Izumo and wonders if he is wrong about that idea.

Sometimes, Izumo wonders if there really is such a thing as love. Then he looks at Koteshi and realizes that there must be, or else neither of them would be here anymore.

And sometimes, when Izumo is looking at him and has that uncertain expression in his eyes, Koteshi wants to touch him a lot more than just holding his hand. Sometimes he thinks about just jumping Izumo and dragging him to bed and tiring him out so thoroughly that not even Izumo's terminal insomnia could keep him awake afterwards. But then he realizes what he's just thought and has to hide his face so no one will see him blushing.

And sometimes, when Koteshi is looking at him and has that hungry expression in his eyes, Izumo wants the other to just reach out and grab him. Sometimes he thinks about throwing himself at Koteshi and yelling, "Take me now, you indecisive asshole!" But then he realizes what he's just thought and smacks himself in the face to get a bit of sanity back in his life- not that he's had any since meeting Koteshi, which is all he remembers.

So if Koteshi occasionally lingers a bit too closely to Izumo, then that is all right.

So if Izumo occasionally stares at Koteshi for a little too long, then that is all right.

Koteshi remembers the first day he met this person. It was sunny and calm and overall, a good day.

Izumo does not remember the first day he met this person. But he's used to such inconveniences.

Memories aside, though, it is the future that Koteshi is thinking of right now.

Memories or not, Izumo only wants to be with this person for the rest of his life.

So maybe he's already in love after all.

So maybe he believes in love after all.

Maybe . . .

Definitely . . .



* fin *



. : the other half of my soul is yours : .