Chapter One

"Ellie, right on time come in." Ellie's psychiatrist greets as 19-year-old Ellie walks into his office located in the mental institution she had checked herself into a year before.

"Hello Doctor James." Ellie states taking the least comfortable chair in the office, her preference for the once weekly meetings they had.

"I've received word that you are wanting to leave us here at St. Anne's." Doctor James was a friendly woman in her thirties and the only psychiatrist Ellie had ever felt she could open up to.

Ellie nods, "I think I'm ready. I've forgiven myself for what happened 4 years ago."

Doctor James nods, "you understand my condition though, correct?"

Ellie nods, "you want me to tell you the entire story as to how I ended up here. Because we've never actually talked about it."

Doctor James nods, "that's right. Did you want to start that today? Or do you want to wait until next week."

"I want to start today. I need to get out of here by the 26th of March."

"That's ten weeks away, ten sessions. Maybe setting a time limit on this isn't the best idea." Doctor James suggests.

Ellie shakes her head, "I have to be out of here by then."

"We'll see." Doctor James states, not committing to anything. "Would you like to begin?"

Ellie nods.

The year I turned 15 my father was gone and my life took a turn for the worse. My mother was an alcoholic, I've told you that, and my father ended up having to leave on a peace keeping missions leaving me alone with her. She was drinking all the time and I was stressed about an internship, and you know that's when I started cutting. My Mother died three months after my Dad left, the doctor said that it was alcohol poisoning and I wouldn't doubt it. She was drinking all the time.

That brought my dad home running, he felt so guilty about leaving me alone with her. And he suggested that I start going to ala-teen and I decided to go instead of making waves. Besides I think it helped my Dad to feel less guilty.

That's how I got to know Sean. You see Sean's parents were both alcoholics and they ended up leaving Sean in the care of his older brother, Tracker. But then, somewhere out of the blue Sean's dad shows up saying that he wants Sean to come back and live with him and his mother. Sean was actually considering it when his father got drunk again and Sean pretty much exploded. Telling his father that he wanted nothing to do with him Tracker decided that Sean needed to come up with a way to deal with his anger toward his parents so that's when he suggests ala-teen to Sean.

Ellie leans over resting her elbows on her knees taking a deep breath Doctor James can tell this is hard for her, "do you want to cut our session short today, Ellie?"

Ellie nods, "is that all right?"

"If it's what you want."

Ellie nods, "I haven't actually talked to anyone about Sean for along time. It's hard."

Doctor James nods, "that's fine. I will see you the same time next week."