Chapter Fourteen

When Ellie walked into Doctor James' office the next week she looked better, stronger, more confident. "Hello." Ellie's voice is softer than it had been in the last couple months but overall it looked like she had been sleeping better.

"Hello Ellie, how are you this week? " Doctor James questions.

"I'm hanging in there." Ellie responds honestly, "this week has been week of conclusions I suppose. My friend Paige came for a visit, she helped me reach a few conclusions. But I want to talk about them after I finish my story, because I want this to be my last session, I've filled out the petition for consented release."

Doctor James nods, "I received the papers this morning, why don't we see how this session goes today before I give any definite answers."

Ellie nods, "that's what my dad said."

I woke up, what I found out later, twelve hours later. I was sore all over and I just knew, deep down innately, that I had been raped along with beaten badly. My dad was right there when I woke up and I burst into tears as soon as he hugged me tightly. I wasn't sobbing just crying quietly into my dad's shoulder like a little kid who had their favorite baby blanket thrown away because it was getting to old, because I knew that my last bit of innocence was gone. I finally calmed myself down enough to look my father in the face and when I looked at him I could tell that something else was going on, I could tell that he was trying hard to hide something. He didn't want to tell me at first, he told me he would tell me later when I was feeling better, but I just threw his "no lies" policy back in his face. It took him a long time to get it out, he gently took my hand and took a few deep breath before telling me what exactly had happened. He told me that while I was being raped, it took him nearly 5 minutes to get the word out, Sean showed up. Immediately all concerns for myself went out the door and I asked how Sean was, knowing that he and Jay must have fought. My dad quickly assured me that Sean was fine, a little beaten up but HE was fine. As much as I didn't want to know I had to ask about Jay then, knowing that my dad was trying to make a point. He was silent for nearly 10 minutes before he states "Ellie, Jay's dead." He continued to tell me that while the other guys had scattered Jay and Sean fought and that it had been an accident but Jay was dead and Sean had been taken into custody. That's when I got hysterical, a lot like what happened last week, but a nurse rushed in an had to give me a pretty strong sedative to calm me down...

Ellie takes a deep breath, "I guess that's it."

"What exactly happened to Sean, Ellie?" Doctor James questions.

Ellie bites her lip, "Sean was convicted of murder in the 3rd degree (is that the one where it's unintentional?). Even though he unintentionally killed Jay, defending me and himself, Sean still had to go to jail with the easiest sentence he could have gotten. Three years in juvenile, a year in prison with the option for parole after that."

Doctor James quickly calculates, "which puts him up for parole any time."

Ellie nods, "he applied and he gets out this weekend."

"That's why you want out of here."

Ellie nods, "that's right. I want to be the one to pick Sean up from prison."

"Tell me what conclusions you came to when Paige came for a visit."

"She made me realize that things happened, she was raped also and that sometimes circumstances are against you. That Jay made the choice to rape me and that Sean made the choice to defend me, that none of this was my fault and I shouldn't blame yourself. People have been telling me this for a years but I think that the 3 suicide attempts in 2 years would tell you that it has never sunk in until now, I think it was because I was ready to hear it."

"That's probably right and I think, assuming you come back for your weekly sessions, I can sign your forms to get out of here to see Sean."

Ellie stands up and hugs her psychiatrist of 2 years.

~*~THE END~*~

AN: I know you guys were probably hoping to see Sean and I actually had planned to show the scene where she meets up with him again but then I realized that this story was more about Ellie forgiving herself then about Sean and Ellie. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it...maybe I will do a stand alone fic with Ellie and Sean.