Hi!!! Long time, No . . . Um . . . never mind.

Axe - Well, it's about frickin time!!!

Jo2 - How long did it take you to write this stupid chapter?

Sara - A very long long time.

Axe - We should hand you over to Mr. W and let him teach you grammar!!

Well, that's too bad because it's summer and he has no control over me! Mwa ha ha ha ha

Mr. W - Oh really?

Jo2 - Hi Mr. W!

Sara - How's it hanging?

Mr. W - What?! Why aren't you screaming and running away?

Axe - Why should we?

Mr. W - You mean . . . you don't fear me anymore?

Sara - Nope.

Mr. W - Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Mr. W begins to fade.

What the?

Axe - Mr. W, where you going?

Mr. W stops fading.

Mr. W - Nowhere. I was just checking out the special effects.

Jo2 - Hmmmm

Ha!! I'm not in your class anymore! I'm not in you class anymore! Ha ha ha ha ha

Mr. W - That reminds me. You failed the exam.

I what?!

Mr. W - Yep. Now, you have to go through summer school!


Mr. W - Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Sara - Oh! I almost forgot. Mr. W, we have something to give you.

Mr. W - You do?

Jo2 - We do?

Axe - Yeah! Remember the fruit basket?

Jo2 - Oh yeah! We used the review money to buy you a fruit basket as a big thanks for saving our butts.

Mr. W - That's very kind of you.

Sara - Well, here you go.

Sara hands Mr. W an orange.

Axe - That's it?

Jo2 - I thought we had enough money for a whole basket.

Sara - Um . . . Yeah . . . About that

Jo2 and Axe - Sara?!

Sara - What?! I owed the audience some money.

Audience - We're happy.

Jo2 - You are so heartless.

Audience - Meh.

Well, let's get on with the story.

Our group of heroes and Fink - Mr. W!!!!

Squirrels - Oh crap!

Old Beanie - Blub?

Sally - What did he say?

Fink - He said "who's that?"

Sally - Oh.

Mr. W - How dare you squirrels betray your one true leader!!

Jo2 - Who's the one true leader? Tell me!!

Mr. W - I am, of course.

Jack - Creepy.

Sara – Hmmm . . . yes.

Old Beanie – (stands up from his throne in an angry manner) Blub diddy blub blub blub! Blubby!

Jo2 – What did he say? What did he say?

Fink – He's your catfish! You tell me!

Jo2 – Fine then! He says "I am the leader of these squirrels! How dare you claim to be me!"

Mr. W – I'm not claiming to be you. I'm complaining that you stole my position as their leader.

Axe – Why don't we let the squirrels decide?

Mr. W – No! This is not a democracy! It's a monarchy (a society ruled by one person . . . stupid smart words) Stick with the program!

Monarchy or not, Axe is right! The squirrels should get to decide who their ruler is!

Sally – Why do you care?

Hey! I'm tied to a stick too. I want them to solve this predicament and untie us. I left brownies in the oven!

Jack – Hey! Author's right. We're still tied up!

Jo2 – Mr. W, drag your butt over here and untie us!!!

Mr. W – Not until I get my legion of squirrels back from Blubbsy Mc Gee!

Old Beanie – They're MY legions and I will not and them over to you!

Everyone – You can speak English?!

Old Beanie – Of course, I thought it would be fun if I tried out my second language for a while.

Jo2 – I hate you.

Fink – Yeah! I almost had a seizure trying to translate all the crap coming out of your mouth!

Old Beanie – Oh boo hoo!

Sara – Why must you be so very selfish?

Old Beanie – I don't know. It seems like a good way to be.

Sara – No! Not you! Mr. W!

Mr. W – You know me.

No, actually we don't. You're just my teacher.

Mr. W – Ouch. That hurt in an emotional way.

Jo 2 – Oh suck it up, forget about the damn squirrels, and untie us!!!

Mr. W – Never!!!

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a crazed rat jumps at Mr. W and attaches itself to his face.

Mr. W – Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! Get it off me! Get it off me!!

Sally – We would be able to help you, if you had untied us!

Mr. W – Oh shut up!

Armed Squirrel – It's a rat!

Sara – So?

Armed Squirrel – They're our worst enemy. We've been fighting in the rodent wars for years.

Fink – I couldn't imagine why. You squirrels are such great company.

Armed Squirrel – They've been trying to cut down this forest and stick in a rat city.

Axe – Oh the evilness!

Jo2 – Old Beanie, help him!!!

Old Beanie stares at Jo2 in a questioning manner.

Jo2 – Please!

Old Beanie – Oh fine!

Old Beanie jumps into the air and throws himself at the rat on Mr. W's face. The rat falls to the ground and the squirrels quickly tie him up.

Axe – Yay! Go Old Beanie!

Jo2 – Thank you. You finally did something right.

Old Beanie – Yeah yeah. But the only reason I did it was because I still have that brain control chip you inserted into my brain.

Everyone stares at Jo2.

Jo2 – Hey! Do you really think he would've stayed around as long as he did if I didn't insert some form of brain control.

Old Brain – Hmph!

Jo2 – Hey! Just be glad I didn't use the hook!

Jack – The hook?

Jo2 – It's a hook I would stick in his lip that would make him do whatever I say.

Old Beanie – No, not the hook!

Ahem! If we could get back to the situation at hand!

Sally – Right right. The rat!

Sara – Could someone PLEASE untie us?

Mr. W – Fine. I get attacked by a rat and all you brats can think about is yourselves.

Axe – That's the way us brats are.

Jo2, Sara, Axe, Fink, Sally, Jack, and I are FINALLY untied.

Jack – Took you long enough.

Mr. W – Now, about the rat.

Armed Squirrel – Who sent you?!!

Rat – Go stuff an acorn up your . . .

Fink – (interrupting) Hey! Were you sent by Oogie?

Rat – How did you know?

Fink – There's a little tag attached to your tail that says "sent by Oogie".

The rat looks at tag attached to his tail.

Rat – Well, I'll be.

Fink – Ha! I'm so smart!

Sara – Sure sure. Why did Oogie send a rat?

Sally – How the Hell should we know?!

Sara – I wasn't asking you, Raggity Ass!

Jo2 – Rat, why did Oogie send you?

Rat – My name isn't Rat!!!

Mr. W – What is it then?

Rat – Mortimer and I expect the author to start calling me that as well.

I'll call you whatever the Hell I want to call you! I'm the bloody author!

Axe – How did you get so bloody?

I accidentally poked myself in the stomach with a broad sword.

Axe – You should see a doctor about that.

Yeah. (getting dizzy) I guess I should. (faints due to blood loss)

Axe – Um guys! I think Author needs help!

Sara – What?

I'm alright!

Jo2 – Whatever. Old Beanie, do you have any questions for Mortimer?

Old Beanie – I'm not speaking to any of you anymore.

Jo2 – Why not?

Old Beanie – Oh just stick me in the caddy!

Jo2 – Fine! Go to your caddy and think about what you've done.

Old Beanie walks over to the golf/fish caddy and begins to climb in.

Mr. W – Ha ha! I get my squirrels back! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Axe – Oh act your age!

Armed Squirrel – Anyway, why did Oogie send you, Mortimer?

Mortimer Rat – He wanted me to spy on you.

Sara – You're being unusually cooperative.

Mortimer Rat – Meh. Let's just say Oogie don't pay the right amount for wages.

Fink – What does he pay?

Mortimer Rat – A buck an hour.

Sally – That sucks!

Jack – We got a lot of money from Tim Burton (Hail Tim Burton!!!) for the documentary.

Fink – Yep. I bought a car.

Axe – But you don't know how to drive.

Fink – It still looks nice in my drive way.

Axe – A buck an hour is such a jip!

Jo2 – Yeah! Author pays us . . .

Sara – Wait a minute! Author, you don't pay us at all!!

Hey! You spent your money on that new house in Whatever World.

Jo2 – Whatever World. I love it there.

Sara – Yeah! Despite the fact that we spent almost everything we had there, it was worth it.

Axe – We'll have to go there again.

Fink, Jack, and Sally - ????

Axe – But that's beside the point.

Jo2 – She's right. We're wasting time. We have to go stop Oogie from destroying Halloween Town which is like the bestest place in the world.

Sara – Exactly! So, let's be on our way.

Our heroes begin traveling down the path towards Oogies place.

Mr. W – (to squirrels) Now, don't you go following any other people! You're my squirrels! MINE!!!

Armed Squirrel – Fine fine. Hey Mortimer, wanna play cards?

Mortimer Rat – Go fish!

Everyone does a cheesy laugh.

Mr. W – Why are you all laughing?!

Armed Squirrel – I don't know.

Mr. W – My grammar lessons can take care of that!

Armed Squirrel – No! Why?! WHY?!

Mr. W – I must punish you for betraying me!


Jo2 – Ha ha ha Those crazy kids.

So, our heroes continue there way towards Oogie's house where they will defeat Oogie and save Halloween Town!

Police man – Ok! That was a threat! You are under arrest! You have the right to remain silent . . . (states Miranda Rights)

Hey!!! You can't do this to me! I'm innocent! I am not a crook!!! NOOOOO!

The police dude takes me away and shoves me into the back seat of his police car.

Axe – That was odd.

Jack – Well, without the author, we can't continue the story.

Sally – She deserves to go to jail!!!

Jo2 – Why?

Sally – It took her way too damn long to write this chapter!!!!

Fink – Yeah! That's right!!

Sara – For once, I actually agree with Sally Stupid Headed Rag Doll!

Axe – Yeah!!!

Everyone – Woo hoo! No more author!! We can do anything we want!!

Replacement Author – And so, the heroes start having a really cool party and . . . Hey! Bean dip!

Jo2 – Hey Fink, wanna play karaoke?

Fink – You're on!

Jack – Oh crap!!

Sally – (all sexy like) Hey Jack, wanna play seven minutes in Heaven?

Sara – (drunk on Deathsyne) Hey! Jack is my honey poo! You can't do squat! Stupid Raggidy Ann dip stick!

Jack – Sara, why don't we play Monopoly?

Sara – (still drunk) You can't tell me what to do!!

Everyone – Bye bye everybody!! See you, whenever!!!

Sara – (Yes, . . . drunk) Send in those (hiccup) reviews! (faints)

Sara – (talking in her sleep) But I want the last donut!!

Everyone else – Bye bye!!