Hi!!! Long time, No . . . Um . . . never mind.
Axe - Well, it's about frickin time!!!
Jo2 - How long did it take you to write this stupid chapter?
Sara - A very long long time.
Axe - We should hand you over to Mr. W and let him teach you grammar!!
Well, that's too bad because it's summer and he has no control over me! Mwa ha ha ha ha
Mr. W - Oh really?
Jo2 - Hi Mr. W!
Sara - How's it hanging?
Mr. W - What?! Why aren't you screaming and running away?
Axe - Why should we?
Mr. W - You mean . . . you don't fear me anymore?
Sara - Nope.
Mr. W - Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Mr. W begins to fade.
Axe - Mr. W, where you going?
Mr. W stops fading.
Mr. W - Nowhere. I was just checking out the special effects.
Jo2 - Hmmmm
Ha!! I'm not in your class anymore! I'm not in you class anymore! Ha ha ha ha ha
Mr. W - That reminds me. You failed the exam.
Mr. W - Yep. Now, you have to go through summer school!
Mr. W - Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
Sara - Oh! I almost forgot. Mr. W, we have something to give you.
Mr. W - You do?
Jo2 - We do?
Axe - Yeah! Remember the fruit basket?
Jo2 - Oh yeah! We used the review money to buy you a fruit basket as a big thanks for saving our butts.
Mr. W - That's very kind of you.
Sara - Well, here you go.
Sara hands Mr. W an orange.
Axe - That's it?
Jo2 - I thought we had enough money for a whole basket.
Sara - Um . . . Yeah . . . About that
Jo2 and Axe - Sara?!
Sara - What?! I owed the audience some money.
Audience - We're happy.
Jo2 - You are so heartless.
Audience - Meh.
Well, let's get on with the story.
Our group of heroes and Fink - Mr. W!!!!
Squirrels - Oh crap!
Old Beanie - Blub?
Sally - What did he say?
Fink - He said "who's that?"
Sally - Oh.
Mr. W - How dare you squirrels betray your one true leader!!
Jo2 - Who's the one true leader? Tell me!!
Mr. W - I am, of course.
Jack - Creepy.
Sara – Hmmm . . . yes.
Old Beanie – (stands up from his throne in an angry manner) Blub diddy blub blub blub! Blubby!
Jo2 – What did he say? What did he say?
Fink – He's your catfish! You tell me!
Jo2 – Fine then! He says "I am the leader of these squirrels! How dare you claim to be me!"
Mr. W – I'm not claiming to be you. I'm complaining that you stole my position as their leader.
Axe – Why don't we let the squirrels decide?
Mr. W – No! This is not a democracy! It's a monarchy (a society ruled by one person . . . stupid smart words) Stick with the program!
Monarchy or not, Axe is right! The squirrels should get to decide who their ruler is!
Sally – Why do you care?
Hey! I'm tied to a stick too. I want them to solve this predicament and untie us. I left brownies in the oven!
Jack – Hey! Author's right. We're still tied up!
Jo2 – Mr. W, drag your butt over here and untie us!!!
Mr. W – Not until I get my legion of squirrels back from Blubbsy Mc Gee!
Old Beanie – They're MY legions and I will not and them over to you!
Everyone – You can speak English?!
Old Beanie – Of course, I thought it would be fun if I tried out my second language for a while.
Jo2 – I hate you.
Fink – Yeah! I almost had a seizure trying to translate all the crap coming out of your mouth!
Old Beanie – Oh boo hoo!
Sara – Why must you be so very selfish?
Old Beanie – I don't know. It seems like a good way to be.
Sara – No! Not you! Mr. W!
Mr. W – You know me.
No, actually we don't. You're just my teacher.
Mr. W – Ouch. That hurt in an emotional way.
Jo 2 – Oh suck it up, forget about the damn squirrels, and untie us!!!
Mr. W – Never!!!
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a crazed rat jumps at Mr. W and attaches itself to his face.
Mr. W – Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! Get it off me! Get it off me!!
Sally – We would be able to help you, if you had untied us!
Mr. W – Oh shut up!
Armed Squirrel – It's a rat!
Sara – So?
Armed Squirrel – They're our worst enemy. We've been fighting in the rodent wars for years.
Fink – I couldn't imagine why. You squirrels are such great company.
Armed Squirrel – They've been trying to cut down this forest and stick in a rat city.
Axe – Oh the evilness!
Jo2 – Old Beanie, help him!!!
Old Beanie stares at Jo2 in a questioning manner.
Jo2 – Please!
Old Beanie – Oh fine!
Old Beanie jumps into the air and throws himself at the rat on Mr. W's face. The rat falls to the ground and the squirrels quickly tie him up.
Axe – Yay! Go Old Beanie!
Jo2 – Thank you. You finally did something right.
Old Beanie – Yeah yeah. But the only reason I did it was because I still have that brain control chip you inserted into my brain.
Everyone stares at Jo2.
Jo2 – Hey! Do you really think he would've stayed around as long as he did if I didn't insert some form of brain control.
Old Brain – Hmph!
Jo2 – Hey! Just be glad I didn't use the hook!
Jack – The hook?
Jo2 – It's a hook I would stick in his lip that would make him do whatever I say.
Old Beanie – No, not the hook!
Ahem! If we could get back to the situation at hand!
Sally – Right right. The rat!
Sara – Could someone PLEASE untie us?
Mr. W – Fine. I get attacked by a rat and all you brats can think about is yourselves.
Axe – That's the way us brats are.
Jo2, Sara, Axe, Fink, Sally, Jack, and I are FINALLY untied.
Jack – Took you long enough.
Mr. W – Now, about the rat.
Armed Squirrel – Who sent you?!!
Rat – Go stuff an acorn up your . . .
Fink – (interrupting) Hey! Were you sent by Oogie?
Rat – How did you know?
Fink – There's a little tag attached to your tail that says "sent by Oogie".
The rat looks at tag attached to his tail.
Rat – Well, I'll be.
Fink – Ha! I'm so smart!
Sara – Sure sure. Why did Oogie send a rat?
Sally – How the Hell should we know?!
Sara – I wasn't asking you, Raggity Ass!
Jo2 – Rat, why did Oogie send you?
Rat – My name isn't Rat!!!
Mr. W – What is it then?
Rat – Mortimer and I expect the author to start calling me that as well.
I'll call you whatever the Hell I want to call you! I'm the bloody author!
Axe – How did you get so bloody?
I accidentally poked myself in the stomach with a broad sword.
Axe – You should see a doctor about that.
Yeah. (getting dizzy) I guess I should. (faints due to blood loss)
Axe – Um guys! I think Author needs help!
Sara – What?
Jo2 – Whatever. Old Beanie, do you have any questions for Mortimer?
Old Beanie – I'm not speaking to any of you anymore.
Jo2 – Why not?
Old Beanie – Oh just stick me in the caddy!
Jo2 – Fine! Go to your caddy and think about what you've done.
Old Beanie walks over to the golf/fish caddy and begins to climb in.
Mr. W – Ha ha! I get my squirrels back! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Axe – Oh act your age!
Armed Squirrel – Anyway, why did Oogie send you, Mortimer?
Mortimer Rat – He wanted me to spy on you.
Sara – You're being unusually cooperative.
Mortimer Rat – Meh. Let's just say Oogie don't pay the right amount for wages.
Fink – What does he pay?
Mortimer Rat – A buck an hour.
Sally – That sucks!
Jack – We got a lot of money from Tim Burton (Hail Tim Burton!!!) for the documentary.
Fink – Yep. I bought a car.
Axe – But you don't know how to drive.
Fink – It still looks nice in my drive way.
Axe – A buck an hour is such a jip!
Jo2 – Yeah! Author pays us . . .
Sara – Wait a minute! Author, you don't pay us at all!!
Hey! You spent your money on that new house in Whatever World.
Jo2 – Whatever World. I love it there.
Sara – Yeah! Despite the fact that we spent almost everything we had there, it was worth it.
Axe – We'll have to go there again.
Fink, Jack, and Sally - ????
Axe – But that's beside the point.
Jo2 – She's right. We're wasting time. We have to go stop Oogie from destroying Halloween Town which is like the bestest place in the world.
Sara – Exactly! So, let's be on our way.
Our heroes begin traveling down the path towards Oogies place.
Mr. W – (to squirrels) Now, don't you go following any other people! You're my squirrels! MINE!!!
Armed Squirrel – Fine fine. Hey Mortimer, wanna play cards?
Mortimer Rat – Go fish!
Everyone does a cheesy laugh.
Mr. W – Why are you all laughing?!
Armed Squirrel – I don't know.
Mr. W – My grammar lessons can take care of that!
Armed Squirrel – No! Why?! WHY?!
Mr. W – I must punish you for betraying me!
Squirrels – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jo2 – Ha ha ha Those crazy kids.
So, our heroes continue there way towards Oogie's house where they will defeat Oogie and save Halloween Town!
Police man – Ok! That was a threat! You are under arrest! You have the right to remain silent . . . (states Miranda Rights)
Hey!!! You can't do this to me! I'm innocent! I am not a crook!!! NOOOOO!
The police dude takes me away and shoves me into the back seat of his police car.
Axe – That was odd.
Jack – Well, without the author, we can't continue the story.
Sally – She deserves to go to jail!!!
Jo2 – Why?
Sally – It took her way too damn long to write this chapter!!!!
Fink – Yeah! That's right!!
Sara – For once, I actually agree with Sally Stupid Headed Rag Doll!
Axe – Yeah!!!
Everyone – Woo hoo! No more author!! We can do anything we want!!
Replacement Author – And so, the heroes start having a really cool party and . . . Hey! Bean dip!
Jo2 – Hey Fink, wanna play karaoke?
Fink – You're on!
Jack – Oh crap!!
Sally – (all sexy like) Hey Jack, wanna play seven minutes in Heaven?
Sara – (drunk on Deathsyne) Hey! Jack is my honey poo! You can't do squat! Stupid Raggidy Ann dip stick!
Jack – Sara, why don't we play Monopoly?
Sara – (still drunk) You can't tell me what to do!!
Everyone – Bye bye everybody!! See you, whenever!!!
Sara – (Yes, . . . drunk) Send in those (hiccup) reviews! (faints)
Sara – (talking in her sleep) But I want the last donut!!
Everyone else – Bye bye!!