Title: Eulogy

Author: A.j.

Characters: Charlie O'Neill.

Pairing: Jack/Sara implied.

Spoilers: General ones for the Stargate movie. Takes place about six months previously. Summary: A week in the life.


I don't like mom today. She was mean. I've been waiting all week to watch the "Animaniacs" special. She knows this! I've told her like fifty thousand times, but noooo. Just because I forgot to put the stupid dishes in the sink last night and she didn't see them before she put her stupid papers down, I don't get to watch tv at ALL.

This is entirely unfair.

It wasn't my fault I got distracted with the dishes! I had to go do my history homework that I forgot to do when I came home, and if I didn't turn it in, Mrs. Dare would have to call mom again and then I'd get in really big trouble and mom and dad would have given me the disappointed looks. Then I feel even worse. So I went and did my homework (most of it anyway), and forgot all about the dishes until mom started yelling about them.

It's not like those students want those tests back or anything. I mean mom marked them up good with the red pen. I know I wouldn't want them back. I think the kids at mom's school are going to be really happy when they find out that she got salad dressing all over the backs of them and she can't give them back. But then, mom's mean, so she'll probably make them take the test all over again.

Because she's mean!

If dad were here, he'd let me watch "Animaniacs". Heck, he'd watch it with me and laugh about Elmira. But he has this weird attachment to Rita. Something about the lady who plays her voice or something. I don't know. I just miss dad and wish he were here. I think mom misses him too.


Mom took me to the park today. It was kind of nice. I don't like being mad at her. It makes my stomach hurt, and I didn't sleep much last night. I don't think she did either. She looked really sad when we were walking around the bike path. But then we stopped and she told me she was sorry for yelling at me yesterday and that it was kind of her fault too because she was thinking about something else and should have noticed the dishes all over the table. Then she told me she'd keep her eye on the tv schedule to see if they reran it some time.

Then, we went and got pizza for dinner. It was from Mark's, which is way better than Gino's but dad likes them so that's what we usually get. Then we made fun of dad and had lots of pizza. The top of my mouth's burned, but I don't care. It tasted good, and she helped me with my math homework. Dad never helps me with my math homework. He says that he can't balance the checkbook, let alone figure out fractions.

I think he's lying, because mom just rolls her eyes at him and kisses the top of his head before pointing out something I did wrong. Mom's good at math.

Oh! Dad called tonight! He said he'd be back from his business trip next week and that he was going to be home for a long time! I'm really glad because I was getting worried. Baseball league assignments are gonna start getting picked in four weeks. That's almost tomorrow! And I really need to work on my throwing. Even MOM throws further than I do, and she's a girl.

Dad talked to mom too. It was weird though, because mom didn't really seem happy afterwards. I'm pretty sure she really misses him. But she won't in a bit! He's coming home!


Jimmy let me play his SEGA! He got one last Christmas and hasn't let ANYONE play his SEGA before! And he got lots and lots of games! There's this really cool one where you're a military commander and you and your team bust into this dungeon and shoot all these bad guys! And the blood goes SPLAT all over the floor and everything! It was so awesome. I'm gonna have to ask dad go get one of these because he would TOTALLY like this. I bet he'd be really good at killing all the bad guys because that's what he does anyway.

I wish I could have stayed over at Jimmy's longer, but mom made me come home and do my homework. I think this whole homework thing is a conspiracy set up to repress the minority. Us kids. We were learning about all that stuff in history (Booooooooring), but that makes sense. Grown ups think that because we're kids we don't know anything and can't do anything.

I mean, mom still waits outside the bathroom when we go to the store and I have to go. Dad doesn't do that. But then Dad's usually using the bathroom too. Huh.

Still, dad lets me do lots of things mom doesn't let me do. He's the coolest dad EVER. Okay, he can get mad like mom does (especially when I accidentally spilled grape juice all over his dress blues, wow did he turn red) but then he's not around as much as mom is. But he has a job to do, and it's really important, and if I really need him, he's here. And he plays games with me and helps me with some of the science stuff.

I wanna grow up to be just like him. Because then I'd be really cool.

I hope Jimmy lets me use his SEGA system again. Then I can blow all those bad guys away again.


Homework sucks.


It's almost Friday! Dad called again! He said he's gonna be home Friday! Homework still stinks. Mom says I can't say 'sucks' because that isn't a nice word. Dad says 'sucks' all the time and I told mom that. She made that face again. The one that makes it look like she sucked on a lemon (and see? 'sucked' isn't bad!), and then ate some salt.

I got my paper back from Mr. Simmons, my math teacher. He says that my work's improved a lot. I like Geometry better than stupid division. Angles and stuff are easy compared to that. Besides, angles and lines and that are used for useful things like buildings. Or bridges. I bet I could build really cool bridges. Big ones with lots of cables and cement poles. I'd make one look like a rocket ship. You don't see many bridges that look like rocket ships, and I don't think that's exactly fair.

Mom said I can go over to Jimmy's again tomorrow. It's only gonna be Thursday, and I can play with Jimmy's SEGA and then we can make his younger sister believe that the Easter Bunny wants to eat her candy next year, and that if you eat all of it, you'll die a bloody death. That's gonna be so funny. I wish I had a younger sister so I could make her believe dumb things like that. I asked mom about that awhile ago. She laughed and told me 'I'll ask your dad about that'. What does Dad have to do with getting me a younger sister?

Mom's weird.



No one gets to the special level! Jimmy's had this game for like FOUR MONTHS and he didn't even do it!

So, I was walking through the castle shooting guards and dogs and stuff, when I see this door I never saw before. I went in and there was this weapons stash, but inside there was this Magnum and it looks just like the gun dad wears when he comes home. He's got a holster and everything. I really gotta convince dad that we need this game. I bet dad could beat it with one hand tied behind his back!

But I'm not sure if the gun's the same. I'll have to see when he comes home. Tomorrow!

Mom made pork chops and carrots and baked potatoes for dinner tonight. And I didn't have any homework. Today was really good. I think tomorrow will be better though. Mom said that she saw that they're rerunning the "Animaniacs" special I missed, and that me and her and dad could all watch it together. It's on Saturday morning. It's gonna be so awesome!

I already pulled out my glove so dad and I can play catch. I mean, how am I supposed to get on a good team if we don't practice?