So, I have the new Birds of Prey DVD set and saw The Dark Knight the other day. I was so excited that I actually finished this!! :) So, enjoy. Oh, and by the way, this takes place "some time" after the last chapter
Ever since he had been in prison, the Joker's life ceased to be fun. When he would think about the life he used to lead in comparison to the "life" he had now, it was just depressing. How much in his life he took for granted! He realized that he would never do so again, if only he had the chance...
It had been too long since he saw Selina's daughter. If he were the worrying sort, he would be worried. After all, the girl never wrote or visited to tell him what had happened. It wasn't like he had any other visitors. He used to get letters from his Harley, but she suddenly abandoned him by not writing. What a bitch! She didn't even write a last letter. If he WAS worried about Selina's daughter, he would have no reason to feel ashamed. As it was, he was merely...concerned. After all, that was a much better word. Besides himself of course, Catwoman was one of his favorite criminals. Although they didn't always agree, they were always able to find a way to work together almost flawlessly.
Well, he thought to himself, it's no wonder. The Bat had always seemed a little off when he would catch them in action (as irritating as it was). Oh, she was good. He laughed at the thought. She freaking BOUGHT him off! And he thought he was so righteous!!
He noticed a guard approaching him. He looked up and frowned (well, as much as he could) at the intrusion to his very important inner monologue.
"Yes?" he said.
"It seems that you have a visitor" the guard told him.
"Really?" He smiled. Another visitor? How wonderful. Now that the Bat's brat was back...hey! That almost rhymed. That was so much better than calling her Selina's daughter. The Bat's brat is back in town. Maybe that is why people decide to have children. After all, that was the only upside. They do tend to clutter the place up a bit, don't they? Hmmm...
"Do you want to see your visitor or not?" the guard asked, interrupting his inner monologue AGAIN. When he broke out of here (he was still adamant about it being 'when' and not 'if'), this guard would be the first to go. His screams will be heard from miles away.
"Of course." He got up and waited for the other guards to come in and escort him to the visiting room. Once he was unable to escape (sadly, had they done it this way when he got in here, he could have without trying, but he was out of shape.), they made their way to the visiting room. When he saw his visitor, he breathed an inner sigh of relief.
"Hello there. Miss me?" Selina smiled as he sat down. He looked around as the guards left and noticed some very important differences between Helena's visit and hers. There was no panic button for her to push if he attacked her and there were no cameras to be seen.
"What's going on?" he asked. Selina smiled and leaned forward. Joker did the same.
"I told them that I was your attorney and that I was here to help you write your will. They figured since I was going to let you go on and on about who should get your crap if you died that I was pretty much safe. Especially when I showed them that my tape recorder and mentioned that I would be recording the session. Apparently you are known for making quite the theatrics around here."
"Yes. They must not know you very well. When have you ever been known to not kill someone simply because they are recording you? Hell, that used to give you an incentive."
"Well, that will make it easier for me to make my grand escape. They underestimate me now that I've been in here so long." His voice lowered to a whisper. He then straightened up and talked in a normal tone.
"I'm glad to see that you are well." Selina waved her left hand to dismiss the subject and a glint caught his eye. There was a set of rings on her finger. She followed his gaze to her hand and smirked. Then she held out her hand as if he was going to admire it.
"Do you like it? I think it's lovely." When he narrowed his eyes at her she took her hand away and met his stare.
"So you..." He paused. He couldn't even come up with the words to describe it. The only word that went though his mind was blasphomy.
"Married him? Yes I did."
Joker started to laugh. Selina narrowed her eyes at him.
"What?" He took a moment to compose himself and then spoke.
"It's...it's just that I tried...so hard to find a way to prove to Bats that he was indeed human. That he would fall. That's why he hated my guts so much. Because I tested his limits. I always tried to find his one weakness, the one thing that would make him bend his little rules. I knew that money held nothing. I just never thought that Bats could have been bought off so easily. Guess I didn't have the right equipment, huh?" He laughed hysterically for another minute. Then he noticed that Selina wasn't laughing with him.
"Bought off? Come on now. Let's not get on this subject." Joker suddenly stood up and leaned over the table. Selina's eyes changed and she quickly backed up and also stood up. They locked gazes for a moment and then both sat back down simutaneously.
"You just need to know this, Miss Kitty. I may have saved your life, but I saved the life of the woman that you used to be. Or maybe it was the woman I ddin't know, but you now have made choices that can't be taken back. I'm disappointed in you. I have no more loyalties from now one. To me, you are just another one of them. Don't think that just because I saved your life once, that I will do so agian." Selina smiled at him.
"Well, if you go around saying things like this, then maybe I won't give you your present." Joker's demeanor immediatly changed. He smiled and clapped his hands.
"You brought me a present? Oh, give it give it give it!"
"Ha! You think after a speech like that I would just give you a present? I don't think so." Selina got up, noticing Joker pouting.
"Oh, come on woman! You go off and get knocked up by my worst enemy behind my back and then marrying him after I save your ass, and expect me not to be upset about it? You were my favorite. We were a team, you and I. Together we came up with the organized crime in that shithole! You were my right-hand woman, no matter what Harley thought!"
"Ha! You're just mad that you didn't catch on. Oh and flattery gets you everywhere, old friend." Selina smiled and took out a pack of cards from the pocket of her jacket. Joker made a grab, but she intercepted.
"Not yet. Are things ok between us? I mean, you know how it is. Girls like me have needs-"
"Ew, please don't talk like that. You will scar me for life." He laughed hysterically. She smiled at him.
"But, in all seriousness. No, things are not ok. But I am willing to consider trying to make amends."
"Well, I guess that's about all I can do." She handed the cards to him and he gleefully started to sort them.
"Oh, they're fresh! That's wonderful! Thank you, my dear. See, already starting to make the bridge!" He laughed as she got up to leave.
Selina turned around in the doorway.
"Can you tell that husband of yours something for me?"
"Depends. What do you want me to tell him?"
"Just tell him that the world never stops spinning. He'll know what it means. It's an inside joke."
"Hmm, ok. Good-bye."
When Selina returned to Wayne Manor (after their wedding, the couple decided to move to New Gotham and back to Wayne Manor to be close to Helena, and besides, she wasn't using it), she didn't realize that she would return to a very nervous husband who seemed to have done nothing at all for the day and a half that she had been gone. He wanted to go with her, but she told him no.
"Honey, did you do ANYTHING since I've been gone?"
He looked up from the television and saw her standing in the doorway, hands on her hips and a look of amusement on her face. He had been worried sick for the past day and a half. He couldn't eat or sleep. Whenever he tried, visions of Selina dying kept coming into his mind. He hadn't felt like this since...well, the first time she died. Then, he noticed he was staring at her and smiled. He got up and made his way over to her. He kissed her hello and laughed.
"No, all I've been doing is worrying about you."
"Well, you shouldn't have. I love to tell you I told you so, so I told you so." He gave her a look.
"Are you kidding? You went to see my worst enemy, a psychopath who kills without remorse or motive, oh and also knows about our relationship."
"Well, I also went to see the man who saved my life. I mean, without him, I would be dead."
"That may be so, but I'm just glad to see that you're ok." He kissed her again as if he was reassuring himself that she was still alive.
"Honey, not that I'm not happy that you're being so affectionate, but you didn't have to worry so much about me. I'm pretty resourceful. I can take care of myself." Bruce's face changed a little and he didn't answer. She grabbed his collar as he turned.
"Hey, what was that look for? And don't clam up on me, dear. See the ring you gave me? That means that you don't go all Batman on me anymore. Don't shut me out. What's wrong? I know Joker always managed to get under your skin, but that's not what this is about, is it?" Bruce sighed.
"It's just...I don't want to lose you again. I can't handle it. I know what it feels like and I can't live without you in my life anymore. The day and a half that you've been gone drove me mad. I can't stand it."
"Aww, that's sweet. But you don't have to worry about losing me. I'm not going anywhere." They kissed again.
"Oh, I almost forgot. I don't want to ruin this wonderful mood you're in, but you need to know. Joker asked me to tell you something." Bruce froze as she said this.
"Do you want me to tell you? I thought about just keeping it to myself, but then I'd be lying to you and I've done enough of that to last me ten lifetimes. I want to leave it up to you."
"Selina, stop beating yourself up for not telling me about Helena. I understand why you did it. She now understands why you did it. It's all water under the bridge."
"I know. It's just hard to forgive myself"
"Well, start. What did Joker say?"
"Are you sure you want to know? I don't want him to hurt you anymore. It seemed insignificant, but with him nothing ever is."
"Yes, I need to know."
"He told me to tell you that the world never stops spinning."
Bruce paled. He ran over to the television set and started frantically changing the channels.
"What are you doing? What does that mean?" Selina asked.
"He's getting out. What I need to know is whether he's just planning his escape, or..." He trailed off as he found the news story he was dreading.
"I repeat, the Joker has escaped from prison. This man is possibly armed and extremely dangerous. He has blown up the prison that has been holding him for the past eight years. Several bodies have been identified. All have been accounted for except for one man. Allan Jennings, a prison guard assigned to the Joker's 24 hour guard, is still missing. We are not sure as of yet if he is a hostage or an accomplice. Police have not yet determined what type of explosives were used but they-" The television blacked out and the face that haunted Bruce's dreams appeared.
"Hello New Gotham! Hee hee hee! I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! It looks as though I get my second chance to destroy New Gotham. Then what will you people call it? New Gotham, Jr? Hahahahahaha!"
"Anyway, I would like to introduce my main guest. Everybody, say hello to Sir Interrupt-A-Lot, or Bob, for short." The camera shakily turned to the prison guard (the one that constantly interrupted Joker's inner monologue FYI) who was duct taped to a chair. He looked scared to death. There was a small piece of duct tape over his mouth and the skin around it was red, as if it had been ripped off repeatedly. A hand came out of nowhere and ripped it off again.
"Say hello to the general public, Bob." The man said nothing. he just looked helplessly at the camera.
"What's the matter, Bob? Bat got your tongue?" He laughed hysterically. Then the hand opened the man's mouth for the public to see that he had cut off the man's tongue.
"Oh, no. That's right. JOKER'S got your tongue! See? Here it is!" The hand brought out a bloody muscle that had Selina cringing and she had to look away from the set.
"Ha ha ha ha! Guess you can't interrupt serious talk anymore, can you Bob? Well, I'm officially bored with you now. I just now realized that I won't get to hear you scream for help when I kill you, which is no fun at all. I guess I'll have to come up with something a bit more...interesting for you. Hee hee hee." He turned the camera back to his face.
"Remember this face, New Gotham. Joker's coming HOME!!"
Bruce turned the television off and sunk down in his chair. Selina sat next to him. They shared a moment of stunned silence.
"So, what are you going to do?" Helena appeared out of nowhere and sat down on the coffee table across from them.
"Well, we're going to need to get a location..."
"Please, Dad, you know Barbara's all over that. What I was asking about is whether or not you want in on this. If you want to help, we will see you two at headquarters." She laughed and made her way out.
Bruce and Selina shared a look. Then Bruce snorted.
"I see how well you raised our daughter. She mocks her elders!"
"Blame it on me, why don't you? Everyone blames the mother!"
"Well, she's your daughter."
"Hmm..." They shared yet another look.
"I know I don't even need to bother asking, but are you in?" Bruce asked her.
The two got up and made their way over to the clocktower. It probably wouldn't be the last time, because after all, the Joker was right about one thing. The world never stops spinning.
The End For Real