The epilogue! Huzzah! And I'm still not Eichirou Oda! Which means I don't own One Piece! And I'm not Shonen Jump! So I'm not making any money off of it either! Double damn!

Either way, the epilogue.

~*~ The Devil Fruit Made Me Do It, Epilogue ~*~

"Ta-ta!" Nami chirped as she left the inn's tiny storeroom, a large bag of its contents slung over her shoulder. Behind her, the bartender bemoaned the loss of almost his entire inventory. Nami paid him no heed, though; the guy deserved it for putting them through all that trouble.

"'Bout time you finished up," Zoro grumbled as she left the building. "Now all we need is that lying coward and we can get out of here."

"Just taking my due," Nami said cheerfully, then held the bag out to him. "Carry that to the ship for me, would you?"

Zoro snarled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why the hell should I carry the stuff you *stole*?"

"Because if you don't, I'll tell everyone all about how you tried to force yourself on me yesterday," Nami said slyly.

"What?" Zoro answered. "I thought we agreed not to talk about the stuff we did under the influence of the fruit!"

"Waitaminute," Sanji interrupted. "What did you do to Nami-san, Cabbage- Head?"

"Nothing," Zoro said, slinging the bag over his shoulder. Nami smiled and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath of the fresh air. Beside her, Luffy bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Hey, you guys, let's go!" he said excitedly. "I think I can see Merry from here! Let's go, let's go!"

Nami opened her eyes and watched her captain jump higher, trying to determine whether the mast in the distance did indeed belong to the Going Merry. She frowned, though, as a sudden thought struck her.

"Hey, Luffy," she said. "Stretch out your arm for me, will you?"

"OK!" Luffy beamed, then pulled his right arm back with his left. "GOMU GOMU NO PISTOL!" He let loose the move and hit Zoro square in the chin. Zoro flew backwards into the inn, putting a sizable dent in the wall.

"Luffy!" he shouted. "She didn't say to hit me!"

"Oh," Luffy said. "Sorry, Zoro."

"Sure," Zoro replied, getting to his feet. He glanced to the side as he brushed himself off. "Hey, there you are."

Usopp stopped in mid-stride, refusing to meet Zoro's eye. Nami frowned. That was a guilty look if she'd ever seen one. She wondered what he'd done, but before she could ask Luffy demanded her attention again.

"Hey Nami, why'd you want me to stretch my arm out, anyway?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sanji interrupted before Nami could answer. "Nami-san wanted to make sure your Gomu Gomu Fruit powers weren't canceled by my love." He turned to Nami, hearts in his eyes. "If anything ever ails you again, Nami-san, just tell me, and my love will get rid of it for you."

"Sure, Sanji-kun," Nami answered, rolling her eyes. "But yes, Luffy, Sanji- kun's right."

"Ah," Luffy said. "Well, now that we're all here, let's go!"

Zoro hoisted the bag back onto his back, Nami waved to the bartender who was watching the morosely from a window, and the Going Merry Five headed off to the docks, where their newly-repaired ship was waiting. Though she started out just behind Luffy, who was rushing along in the front of the group, Nami soon fell back to walk beside Usopp.

"Hey Usopp," she asked, "what exactly were you doing that took so long?"

"Ah, nothing," he said. "Just buying a snack."

"Oh really," Nami said. "Didn't you say you didn't have a single Beri left last night when we were playing poker?" She prodded him in the side and smirked. "Could it be that you were lying to us?"

"N-N-No!" Usopp stammered. "You see, when I went into the storage room to get my snack, there was this boy, and he was selling these magic beans..."

They soon reached the docks and set about their respective tasks. Luffy hugged the figurehead, Nami grumbled as she paid the shipwright, Sanji gleefully added the items in Nami's bag to the kitchen cupboards, and after raising the anchor, Zoro flopped down on deck and took a nap. In the meantime, the gears in Usopp's head spun furiously.

"Hey Luffy," he said. "Aren't I the new Captain?"

"No," Luffy said, looking at Usopp like he was missing a few screws. "I'm the Captain."

"But didn't you call me Captain last night?"

"Would you two just forget about yesterday?" Nami and Sanji shouted in unison.

"Jeez, everyone just shut up," Zoro said. "I'm trying to sleep."

And so the Luffy Pirates sailed off to new adventure, miraculously save by the power of, er, love. None of them noticed, however, the single Seme- Seme Fruit hidden deep in a pile of Usopp's gadgets, ready for his use on a very special night with a very special lady. Oh, Kaya, you are in for a treat. He wasn't lying to Nami after all.

~*~ The End ~*~

Well, that's it. Feel free to criticize if you wish. I can take it.

Either way, I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it.