Billy the Attack Squirrel
Billy B. Squirrel had been having a bad day. First, he had woken up later than he would have liked. He liked to get up early every day to store food for the winter, work on sprucing up his nest, and just generally cavorting with his little squirrel friends. But now he had woken up too late, all the food to be found in his neighborhood had already been found, and all his friends had other things to do. And his day only got worse from there.
He had been having an exceedingly hard time at crossing the streets to continue his food search and had almost been squished into road pizza by multiple humans and their large, metal, wheeled monsters of death. Why couldn't humans just let a squirrel go about his business?
In a search for food, he entered another squirrel neighborhood and had been hassled by some of its residents who must've all had major attitude problems. He'd just barely escaped those situations with his wife. So you'd have to excuse him if he seemed a bit short of temper.
Then, while in yet another 'hood, he caught his girl--Lucy Lou--fooling around with another squirrel by the name of Bobby Joe. The nerve of her! He had given her the best years of his life and what does she do? Dump him for some beefed up jerk! How dare she!?
So when he went to cross the street and was almost hit by not one death machine but two, he lost it. He had to fight back. So he stared down the oncoming bike that was being driven buy a large, angry lookin' human and jumped up at the man at the last possible second.
Billy took out all his frustrations on big human. He fought the human like he hadn't been able to fight Bobby Joe. He clawed, kicked, punched, and screamed expletives that would've gotten him banned from the entire squirrel community.
Then came the final humilation. The danged human pulled his tail! No one pulled Billy Bo's tail and lived to tell about it!
So Billy executed a few fancy moves, swinging around to land smack dab in the center of the human's back.
It was common knowledge that human's could rarely reach their back. So this position was of extra advantage to him. His day was finally looking up!
Billy redoubled his fighting efforts, ripping long gashes in both the human and its ugly shirt, though he had to take care to keep his tail out of the way of the human's flailing hand. He was just starting to get bored when he realized that the human's attention had drifted from him. That only made him angrier!
It was also common knowledge that humans generally didn't like to have angry creatures in their face so that was where he went next. To the face. He crawled into the ugly lookin' hat and began to scream and scratch.
Then it happened. His tail was pulled by the big galoot again! That was it, now he was serious! No more Mr. Nice Squirrel!
He prepared to execute his fancy maneuver again, but was too late and was flying through the air and straight into the lap of another ugly human. An ugly human that screamed and flung him into the windshield of the car. That was only an excuse for Billy to begin his assault on them, too.
In a short amount of time he had chased the two out of the car and had moved into the back seat to stare out the back window. A block down the street sat the human he had fought first. Then Billy's temper really got the best of him. He began his tirade yet again, shaking his fists at the human, more burning expletives leaving his mouth. He even got so mad he flipped the human off, shaking the protruding fingers in the air at the man who looked straight at him. Then the human left the scene.
Billy's beady black eyes narrowed at the direction the human was leaving, schemes already forming in his little head. He turned tail and left the car and the two humans behind. He had things to do. First he had to learn where that ugly human lived, then he had to sell his nest and move to the human's neighborhood, and then he had to orchestrate his next moves.
Someday, sometime, somehow he'd have his revenge. And that revenge would be incredibly sweet.