If you are a new reader, I have just started sort of re-writing this story. And day by day I will re-do each chapter a little. The plot is still the same, but the text flows a lot smoother and I'm sure you'll enjoy this new version of it better. So far, I only have one chapter re-done, but more will come soon. :) If you prefer to read it all at once, then please excuse the spelling mistakes and such, but it is too much work to re-do the whole story at once. Thank you for the understanding and please enjoy.

Dear Diary,

I am so fed up with this. Why is Grissom treating me this way? He keeps pushing me away, pushing, pushing, pushing, until I'm basically on the boundaries of our friendship. Well, maybe I made a mistake that day after the lab explosion. Maybe, I shouldn't have asked him to have dinner with me... But, the hints, they are all there, I thought he liked me. But, then again, I do have bad taste in men, maybe I misinterpreted the 'clues'. Maybe, I should forget about him and get on with my life. Maybe, just maybe, I should've left the lab and him when I had the chance. Now, I'm stuck. How cam I leave my heart behind?

Walking briskly down the corridor, Sara fled past Grissom's office. She did not need to see him right now, see the man she loved, the man who could care less about her. But, mid-stride, she stopped: hearing his angelic voice call out her name.

"What Grissom?" her own tone was a bit more harsh than she meant it to be. "Well, I... umm, I'm sorry. Go ahead." His blue eyes reflected pain and sorrow but Sara was not amused. She just could not take any more tricks, any more 'hints' which left her hanging down a cliff with the broken pieces of her heart at the bottom, any more mind games. Sara was through, or she really, desperately wanted to be. "What did you want Grissom? I was just heading to the lobby to get my assignment." Her hands poised on her shapely hips, Grissom knew he would not get out of this blunder.

"You're with me today Sara. We have a homicide out by the beach." Her dark eyes flashed lightning bolts at him, apparently, he had said something wrong. But Grissom thought that Sara would be happy to spend some time with him, working on the case, that is.

"What do you mean? What about everyone else? Where are they? Catherine, Warrick, Nick? What are their assignments?" Sara was advancing upon the man that she loved and hated, ready to pounce at him at any given moment.

"They're all out, they received their cases and left. Catherine and Warrick have a murder and Nick's working on a suicide." He was hoping that the tension between them would ease up, but no such luck.

"GONE? They're...gone?!?!? Why are they gone? I thought that we had to all meet together, and THEN receive our assignments, and only after receiving the assignments together we could go. What does everyone else here hate me too? They won't even wait a few lousy minutes till I get here? But, no, they all run out with THEIR assignments, not even caring to WAIT for me. And, now, I'm stuck with my big, retarded boss!!! Well, maybe, I'd prefer to work with Catherine. You ever thought of that, huh? Maybe I don't want to be around you today or ever. You never thought of that huh? Never thought of me, just thinking about yourself Grissom. Always thinking about yourself and never giving a damn about me." Her thoughts and pent up energy rolled of her tongue, challenging him, before she could stop them. Immediately she realized her mistake, but there was no going back. His face showed tremendous hurt which was instantly covered under a furrowing brow and a thin smile.

"Miss Sidle, you are to work with me today, wether you like it or not. And as for the other CSI's, they will go and leave whenever their big, retarded boss tells them to. Is that clear?" he had taken up seniority and Sara knew it. At the given moment, though, she didn't give a damn. How could he do this to her? Turn her down for a date, push her away, make her life a living hell, and now turn her friends against her. This was absolutely ridiculous. It was her day off but she had decided to help out, hearing that there were many cases that morning.

"You know what Gil?" there it was, the sacred word. No one ever called Grissom, Gil. It just didn't happen, "Just...just....forget it ok? Just like you forgot me, forget it! It's my day off, and I'm gonna enjoy it." She shot him a challenging look which was replied only by an icy glare. He could not reply, it was true. It was her day off, and for someone who spent as much time as she did at the lab, Sara deserved this day.

"Good day to you Miss Sidle. I will see you in the morning," with that, he filed past her, menacingly brushing his shoulder against hers. Answering her previous challenge, wether by accident or on purpose, Sara didn't care.

"Oh, EXCUSE me." Sara saw red. How DARE he do that to her? No man ever laid a hand on her for fear of her wrath, and now her fury doubled. "Listen here you son of a bitch, you were the one who called me up to come here. I was being nice and accepted your offer, and now that I'm here, I'm nothing. I was just trying to be nice to you and all of your stupid friends." She had pinned him up against a wall, and mildly struggling. Grissom could not get free.

"They are not stupid, and they ARE my friends so leave them out of this." Sara couldn't stop. There was no way, her life was already ruined, and now her career was going down the drain. It didn't matter anymore.

"Fine, I'll leave them out of this! Just like you're leaving me out of your life, your sorry excuse for a life. Well, I got news for you. No one pushes me around, you got that?!? Not my friends, not my boss, NO one. And you know what? I should have just left this lab when I meant to." Grissom was now steaming, she had insulted his friends, his life, and he could not get out of her grip, which made it that much worse. For such a small woman, she was tough.

"Well, you know what, maybe you should have then." His last words cut her bare soul. Did he really mean it? For a mere second, her eyes watered and her false mask fell. But, instantly she regained her composure and slammed him against the wall and turned toward the locker rooms.

Sara gathered her possessions together, and took out a crumpled piece of paper from the very end of her metal cabinet. She stormed out of the locker rooms and right into Grissom who was following her in.

"Sara," Hmm, was his voice just a bit gentler? But, Sara didn't register anything in her passion of fury.

"Go to hell." she hissed and practically ran to his office. Grissom once more follwed, afraid that she might set his office on fire or something of the sort. Instead, Sara slammed the weathered piece of paper on his desk, causing the contents of it to shake under the force. Sara streaked past Grissom, but he was prepared and caught her by the arm. Like a whiplash, she quickly turned around and looked steadily into his eyes. The look which would've crumpled warriors, only hurt Grissom, only made him realize that Sara hated him, only tore his heart apart. She jerked her arm free and coldly said, "Goodbye."

To be Continued...