Hi! My name's Ri2. This will be my first attempt at Lilo and Stitch, so I hope it's not too bad. Flames will be ignored.

Disclaimer: All Lilo and Stitch characters copyrighted by Disney. All other experiments and the Ban-Kar religion are owned by me.

It seemed to be a regular day in Hawaii. The sun was shining brightly. The surfers were shredding waves. The numerous illegal genetic experiments living in the community were performing their assorted jobs without much complaint. A blue mutated cross between a koala and a dog with four arms and antenna was throwing books at an immense bipedal whale outside of the city library. The last was getting to be a daily occurrence, so nobody paid it much attention anymore.

"Hand over Experiment 067! Quit making trouble for yourself!" Gantu yelled, firing several blasts from his plasma gun.

Experiment 626, affectionately named "Stitch" easily dodged the shots and stuck his tongue out at the former captain of the Galactic Federation. "Naga!" He backflipped away as Gantu fired another half a dozen shots at him, and landed next to his best friend Lilo on the sidelines. She handed him a dozen small hardcover books from a nearby cart. He took them and jumped back into battle. Running alongside a wall, he hurled the books at Gantu ninja-style. The alien blasted most of them out of the air, but he missed one, which spun past his shoulder and dashed an ice cream cone out of the hand of the Sunburned Tourist. Despondent at the loss of yet another ice cream cone, the tourist walked away miserably.

Stitch ran back over to the book cart, grabbed an entire twenty-six-volume encyclopedia set, and hurled them at Gantu, one by one. The giant growled angrily in between getting struck by the books. "You're only-ow!-digging yourself-ow!-deeper, trog! Ow!" The last volume of the set temporarily stunned Gantu, allowing Stitch to grab a copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and ram it into the barrel of Gantu's oversized plasma gun. The evil captain quickly recovered, failing to notice Stitch's sabotage. The little blue experiment backflipped away and wiggled his hiney at Gantu. Enraged, he aimed his gun at Stitch and pulled the trigger. It exploded, sending Gantu hurtling over the horizon like a famous trio of equally inept villains from a certain anime that shall remain nameless. "This isn't over, abomination! I'll be back!" he shouted as he disappeared.

Stitch blew a raspberry. "Later, Stupid-head."

Lilo came over, lugging the glass capsule containing the large green worm that was 067. "Great job, Stitch! I think you may have set a new distance record!" He smirked. Lilo turned her attention to the captive worm. "Now to find out where you belong. Let's see…you like to semi-digest books to absorb knowledge from them. I think I know exactly where to take you…"

Experiment 067 was designed to swallow books, copy all the information in them to memory, and spit them back out. He had been originally programmed by Jumba for the purpose of sneaking into peoples' bedrooms using his supple wormy body and copy all the information in their diaries, providing a wealth of blackmail information (and other stuff, depending on the diary contents). As such, Lilo thought he would be perfect working at a help desk in the nearest Barnes & Noble. He could digest all the books in the store, and if anyone came to him asking for information on books he could tell them not only where it was located, but its title, publishing date, author, and anything else they needed to know. Perfect for book report material.

While Lilo negotiated terms of employment for the newly christened Bookworm with the store's management, Stitch decided to explore the bookstore. He had never been to one of this size before, and was awed by the number of books there. Stitch had only recently got into reading, and found himself an avid fan of sci-fi novels. He liked to laugh at how grossly inaccurate the authors were at depicting space, interplanetary cultures, and most of the laws of physics.

Since he had never been to a book store as big as Barnes & Noble before, it was understandable how Stitch could get completely and totally lost. On the way to the science fiction section, he somehow wound up in the part where they kept religious books. Undaunted, he turned around to continue his search for the sci-fi section. But as he did, something he saw from the corner of his eye caught his interest. He turned to a bookshelf and saw a large book entitled "The Word of Ban-Kar" on it. Curious, Stitch pulled it off the shelf and flipped through it. As he skimmed through the pages, words like 'destruction', 'absolute damnation', and 'end of the world' caught his eye. His interest in the text increased.

Before he could read further, he heard Lilo calling his name. "Stitch! Where are you?" Stitch tucked the book under his arm and followed the sound of her voice, quickly finding Lilo. "Oh, there you are," she said. "What's that?"

Stitch held up the book. "Stitch want."

She looked at the book. "You want me to buy this thing?" He nodded. "Okay, but only if you promise to read the entire thing this time and not stop halfway and eat it like you did with 'War of the Worlds.'"

Stitch nodded. "Okay. I promise."

Several hours later, as he was sitting up in bed reading the book, Stitch regretted his promise. The book was not nearly as interesting as he had first thought. The parts speaking of doom for all mankind were referring in context to 'the horrible sins of human nature'. The whole book was talking about how God (named Ban-Kar in the book) created everyone so they would be born sinful and evil, and only through a lifetime of toil and suffering could they redeem themselves. The religious system described in the book seemed immensely stupid and inefficient to Stitch, much like the current government of the United States. One of the only highlights in the book was a part mentioning a demoness or something that embodied everything that was supposedly 'evil', like caring for yourself before others, bad manners, lots of little things that according to Ban-Kar were enough to send you on a one-way trip to Hell (Like not washing your hands when you're done in the bathroom) and happiness. According to the book, happiness not derived from the service of others is sinful. He longed to stop reading, but he had promised Lilo he would finish it so he decided to just read it as quickly as he could and then throw it away. He skimmed the last few hundred pages, which were mostly talking about how people should dedicate their lives to charity and give everything they owned to the needy of the community and pretty much be boring for the rest of their lives. Very relieved when he finally reached the last page, he closed the book and shoved it as far away from him as he could.

He was about to go to sleep when his stomach rumbled. He had skipped dinner that night because Pleakley had attempted to make this month's Thanksgiving dinner completely out of tofu. Stitch had managed to wiggle out of it by claiming he had to go finish reading his book, so he hadn't had anything to eat. He started to get out of bed when Lilo turned over in her bed. He hesitated. Lilo had been having trouble sleeping recently. She would surely hear him leaving the room and wake up. He didn't want to do that, but he wouldn't be able to sleep with an empty belly, either. What was he to do? As his stomach growled again, he glanced at the religious text a few feet away from him. Perhaps the stupid thing would come in handy after all. He shoved the book down his throat, swallowing it as quietly as he could. He suppressed a belch as the text started dissolving in his stomach. Sated, he curled up under his blanket and went to sleep. Little did he know how that one act would alter his way of life for quite some time.

Did this reel you in? I'm new at this, so expect the first couple of chapters to be sketchy. I think I know where I'm going with this, so any support would be appreciated. Please review.