Was Blind But Now I See (2/?)

By Lauren Metal

lmetal@wam.umd.edu (any and all feedback welcome, be honest!)

Summary: Sometimes it takes a bit of darkness to help you see the light.

Category: Elliot angst...Olivia/Elliot friendship now, more down the road

Rating: PG for now, R- NC-17 later

Spoilers: nothing yet

Disclaimer: I've never owned any of the characters I'm written about...imagine that!

Author's notes: Sorry for the delay on this...writing Olivia is harder than I imagined it would be...we see so little of the personal side of these characters that it's hard to judge what they'd do in a situation such as this...I'm hope I'm not too far off the mark.

~*~*~* *~*~*~

Amazing grace!

How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

~*~*~* *~*~*~

She paced the length of the tiny waiting room's floor-back and forth, back and forth. Her feet dragged wearily with every step across the old orange carpet, a silent testament to her worries.

"I don't know what happened, Don," Olivia sighed, choking back her tears. "One second we're chasing the perp and the next he wasn't behind me anymore."

He looked at her with concern. He'd never seen her this fragile. Olivia wasn't the type of woman who was easily broken.

"I thought he was hit. I thought....all of the worst possible outcomes ran through my mind in those first few seconds."

She continued pacing wearily. His eyes followed her every step. He was tense, but he felt the need to command a calming presence.

"He's all right," Captain Cragen reassured.

And in the scheme of things, he *was* okay.

They'd all be on the job long enough to know that being shot or stabbed was a real possibility. In their line of work, there were so many things that could go wrong and they'd seen that first hand.

They'd lost colleagues before, but they were lucky.

Elliot was still very much alive.

"You did everything right," he said, finally stilling her with his hand on her elbow. "You did everything you could."

"I didn't do anything," she sighed and seated herself next to him, defeated.

There was nothing anyone could do.

"I've never seen him so scared," she confessed. "I've never been so scared."

It was a rare moment of weakness for Olivia Benson. She was a tough, hardened cop on the outside, but every now and then her vulnerabilities showed through. Usually, her weakest of moments were reserved for child victims or women who'd been raped, their fragile lives shattered by the awful crimes committed against them.

But this was new territory for her.

This was not a crime.

There was no innocent victim. There was nothing to investigate.

This was Elliot. And there was nothing they could do but wait on word of his condition.

It was the waiting that was the worst part of all.

In that drab orange waiting room, all she could do was think about what would happen if Elliot couldn't be a cop anymore.

What if he couldn't be her partner anymore?

~*~*~* *~*~*~

To be continued....

Feedback please